My MIL has already proven to be the grandma who feels entitled to her grandchildren. She comes on VERY strong and does not take no for an answer. My worries are that after my baby is born, she will hog him in the hospital and once we are home she will try to be at our house every single day. She lives two hours away, so I know she will use that has a guilt factor, even though she comes in town all of the time. If any grandparent is entitled, it's my father because he has done everything for the baby, my husband and I while she has done nothing for us. So it will be very frustrating.
I want to hear your stories on your "entitled" MILs and how you handled the situation!
Re: Advice on MIL who feel "entitled" to new baby
You know what? All of these things you are worried about can be prevented or handled quite easily. Put your foot down.
With that being said, this post makes you sound a tad ridiculous and extremely bratty. This is a baby. Not a lump of cash that someone is "entitled to" or deserves to be able to have. Did you actually read what you posted?
Grandparents go bat shit crazy when a grandbaby is coming. It's called excitement. God forbid someone in your family wants to be around your child a lot. That's actually a good thing. And you know what is really awesome? YOU are the parent and you can control who does what with your child. If your MIL "hogs" your baby in the hospital then maybe you should have laid some ground rules and said you wanted personal time with your baby.
You didn't offer many details about this situation but geez dude, talk to her if you are that worried.
You never know what kind of response you'll get when you share things with random strangers on the internet. Doesn't matter what your intentions were with this post, you sound like you are talking about a material object, not your baby. You don't know if things will be frustrating. Your baby isn't even here yet. We should be saying WOW to you dude.
First, drop the "they have to do things for me" type thing. It doesn't matter who does what-- grandparents have equal "rights" to see their grandchildren. My mother can't do things due to distance and health problems-- My MIL, who I can't stand, is here more often and has "done more" for my kids. I feel both have equal right to see/interact/be with my children.
Second, what does your husband say about his mother? If he doesn't put boundaries up for his family then you have a husband problem and NOT a MIL problem. Start your boundaries NOW. Get your husband on board.
I had to set boundaries on my in-laws because culturally they feel that we should welcome them night or day. I had to put my foot down and ask for space. Eventually they do abide by my rules, but there was a lot of drama surrounding it. My husband was on board because their constant presence, nit-picking and criticism during a fragile time in my life-- it just sent me to the edge.
So think about concretes...
1.) How much notice do you want before your MIL et. al. arrives? I ask for a week so I can get the house in some sort of order.
2.) If you don't want them at the hospital then DON'T TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE IN LABOR. I wouldn't tell them you've had the baby until the very next day or even when you are home. That way you don't have to deal with anyone to "hog" the baby.
3.) Tell your nursing staff in the hospital. You can blame it on "hospital rules" or "being tired". They will bounce MIL for you in a heart beat.
So, set your boundries.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Anyway, mine was expecting to be at the birth. The only advice I can give you is set boundaries. We have told them that we only want peope to visit once were in recovery. she is a wonderful woman and I love her but I know I'll have to ask for baby back and tell her how I feel. I really want them to have a good relationship so it will be a work in process but I just know I need to let her know what I'm feeling and need if I want things to not stress me out.
TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17
BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
Well this post is TOTALLY different from your first one. I hope you find the balance you are looking for.