Hi all, I'm new to the board and hoping to find some answers and get to know others who are foster parents or who have adopted from foster care. My husband and I have tried to get pregnant for over 5 years now with no luck and decided to start our family, another way, by adopting from foster care.
We bacame foster parents in January. We got out first placement shortly afterwards, two boys ages 1 and 2. Our goal has always been to adopt. Well of course we fell in love with these little boys, only for them to go home in July. We are heartbroken. We want to move on and foster again, but I'm not sure I can fall in love with a child again only to give them back. I know they say the goal of foster care is for the kids to reunite with their birth families, my heart doesn't agree. I guess my question is when they call for our next placement (they have called several times already, but we weren't ready) is there any way I would know if this would turn into an adoption case. I know most of the time, they don't know and that is what is hard. If its long term care is there a better chance? Anything I should look for? Just looking for some advise I guess. Thanks
Re: New and question adopting from foster care
1. Long cases. The kids are with us for at least a year.
2. The child was going back to the parent they were removed from.
3. That parent wasn't very successful at handling stress.
We hold a bed for that child for at least 6 months and longer if we can in case they come back. We wouldn't have our daughter otherwise.
Additionally, before you take a placement you can ask what type of resources have already been located. Are there grandparents etc already involved? If so, if they are willing and pass checks the child will likely go there. We knew our daughter had no safe resources when she came to us and if it failed with biomom she'd likely go to adoption.
You can't pick the perfect case but you can do some preparation including becoming useful and helpful to the caseworkers. Become the best foster parents you can be and your county might thank you with a placement. No, they aren't suppose to but cases go to foster parent that are easy to work with.
Another thing, start thinking of yourself as a "helping home" looking to adopt. It's easier to let go when you remember that you are helping them and a piece of your wonderful parenting will stay with them and effect their lives into and through adulthood.
Me:34, Wife: 32
IF reasoning = MFI: Zero Sperm Count using FairFax donor bank
IVF: 2011 = BFN, lost all 10 embryos (with C/Ps)
Jan 2014 - OBGYN (not RE) found and removed wife's "field of" uterine polyps after failed IVF
Moving on to surrogacy (actually a planned adoption)
Surrogate IUI#1: 7.17.12 = BFP!! 15dpiui = 256, 17dpiui = 346
Oliver Zane born - 3/29/2013 on Good Friday!
IUI #4 - #6: 2014-2015 = BFN (with C/Ps)
Switch sperm donors, start ketosis diet to reduce inflammation late 2015
IVF 2: Jan and Feb 2016, 3 great looking, 8 cell 3 day embryos. Two ET, one frozen
2.18.2016 (8dp3dt) = BFFP!
2.22.2016 (12dp3dt) = 649!!
Started foster care experience in 2012. Now waiting to adopt our foster daughter, 7, who has lived with us for 3 years.
"Wait for your God, and don't give up on Him - ever!" Hosea 12:6 (msg)
I agree that if you make friends with the department and are helpful, etc they look out for you on placements. And more importantly have you at the top of their memory.
I checked in with our worker asking if there was volunteering needed before our first placement. We hadn't even officially received our license although it as just due to delays in processing it because it was holiday time. That infant went to family 7 mos later.
A week later we have our soon to be adopted child placed at 1 month old. They knew we were having a hard loss! Now we have the sibling, from the hospital.