The thought of my MIL in the room makes me shudder... The IL's already tried to secretly plan a trip here near the end of March without telling us... nice try, thank God they let it slip after a little booze.
Just me, DH, and my midwife team please and thank you. Loving the idea of telling people baby has arrived a day or so after the birth.
I don't think I want anyone to see my private part... I am personally grossed out by how the baby comes out of there but I know that's just how it is. So... no one other than DH and hospital staffs. In laws can watch DD at home.
Funny story, for DD (11 years ago) we let my then 15 year old brother in with my mom, my (now ex) bf, and his sister. My brother stayed until the blood then he left. Honestly I was in so much pain I didn't care who saw me. To this day he is the only 25 year old unwed man we know who isn't popping babies out.
My mother called it Nature's Birth Control lol!
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
It's going to be my husband and my mother. My MIL can wait patiently in the waiting room. There's no way in hell that she's getting in the room. I'm hoping I can convince my husband to tell her after the baby is born, because she can be manipulative and I don't want her snaking her way into the delivery room with us. Ugh
I'm honestly thinking I don't want anyone but the doctors and nurses. I feel like I won't be able to be sympathic to DH who has PTSD issues stemming from a previous time I was in the hospital. My mom kinda wants to be there but she lives in another country and if I go early she won't be here. DH has jokeingly asked if he could be the pacing father in the waiting room-neither of us are worried about me being pushed into something I don't want-I have enough experience with doctors that I am assertive about my own wishes.
However, I would like DH to be there if he feels calm and can control his need to constantly leave the room/hospital.
DD: Beatrix Louise aka BeeBop. April 2 2016. H.I.E Warrior
I don't see how anyone would want their MIL to be in the room. I have 2- and they fight like cats and dogs. We had to have 2 separate tables for them at my wedding shower, and while they both offered to help my mom decorate the venue for our wedding, neither of them listened to my mom (who knew what I wanted done) and got to squabbling with each other to the point BIL had to step in and tell them both to stfu. If I had them in my room I'd be killing somebody (probably one or both of them!)
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
Me, DH, my mom and my sister, along with hospital staff of course. DH is literally terrified of the whole process and does not do well when I am upset or in pain so I knew I would need the extra support of my mom and sister. Plus DH works away from home so it could take him a while to get to me and my sister lives 5 hours away so it could end up being just me and my mom depending on how everything goes.
Like a pp said, I might only want it to be me and my midwife/nursing staff for the actual birth. My hubby is super squeamish around blood and what not so I think it'll be more stressful to be worrying about him. (Before I get chewed out, even my midwife said watching a birth is NOT for everyone!) He'll definitely be there up until pushing and then maybe just step out?, I guess we'll see how it all goes. I'm very independent and could go either way, not too worried about it.
If your hubby isn't too excited about seeing blood, he can actually sit near you where he doesn't have to look down and see the baby come out. I think my hubby basically sat there. The nurse told him to help me count from 1-10 when I was pushing. At one point he was counting SOOOOOO slow that the nurse was like... "you need to count faster or else she is going to be out of breathe!" He did look though... but it was his choice. My OB also asked in advance if he wants to cut the baby's cord. He did say yes but he obviously had a choice of not cutting it. So if your hubby wants to somewhat participate, he can still be there and at least take pictures of the baby as they clean the baby up. My hubby basically "abandoned" me once the baby was out.
I had always thought I'd have my mom in the delivery room with my husband and I. Now that there's an actual baby to speak of, I think it'll just be my DH. It's our first child and I'd like those first special moments as our little family. Plus, we aren't finding out the gender so it'll be even more special for us. Luckily, my mom has already told it's totally our decision but I still feel bad because I know her feelings will be a little hurt.
@irenewslee that's encouraging to hear! I've been told by several girlfriends there's basically no way they can shield themselves from seeing everything, but you make a good point. He certainly wants to participate, just doesn't want to see it all! Ya never know, maybe he'll overcome his aversions to looking once we're in the moment
Hoping for another Unassisted birth, so it will likely be DH and my other 4 kiddos. Although, I wanted to be totally alone with my first two, and caught them myself. Won't know for sure until the actual moment.
Every time dh and I talk about who is going to be in the room - he replies with, "You're the one with all your parts out. It's up to you, just tell me what to do and when to show up." So I'm glad he hasn't asked for his mother or sister to be in the room.
But as it stands right now, me, dh, my mother, my sister, staff and then baby!
@msd24 My DH planned on being right near my head the whole time, and he was even planted in a chair by a nurse a couple of times because he looked pale, but when baby was coming out, he couldn't help it and looked, and he was the most amazed of everyone in the room! He had more respect for me and all women after that!
With DD, it was just my husband and my doula. The nurse checked me, told me I was completely dilated, then left. She didn't say what she was doing or when she'd be back. So I didn't wait. She was out in a couple of pushes. I'd be 100% fine with this again. I would kind of love for my mom to be there, but we don't live in the same state and she only gets one week of vacation per year. I don't even want to try to coordinate a visit around my EDD.
This is a UO but I'm kinda grossed out by birth. I know it's amazing! But it's always been an irrational fear of mine. So no one but DH and a doula. (And nurse/doctor.) For my DD I had it in the birthing plan that my DH stay by my head when it came time for pushing. He may have been curious, but I was more comfortable with him not seeing what my body could do. I know. Totally weird.
This is a UO but I'm kinda grossed out by birth. I know it's amazing! But it's always been an irrational fear of mine. So no one but DH and a doula. (And nurse/doctor.) For my DD I had it in the birthing plan that my DH stay by my head when it came time for pushing. He may have been curious, but I was more comfortable with him not seeing what my body could do. I know. Totally weird.
This is not weird to me lol. I'm grossed out by birth and prefer my husband to not be all in the action. He stays by my shoulder, holds my hand and give me support when needed. I think honestly he prefers it that way too haha.
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
So with my first I labored all day with my mother , mother in law , and husband in the room with instructions that when it came time to actually push , it would just be he and I ... I ended up having a c-section and so it was just hubs and I in the operating room but they got to see our daughter wheeled to the nursery for her bath and inspection while o was getting stitched. My mom had her mil in the room and not her mom so it really depends on who will keep you calm and why you want them in there ... If it is out of obligation , say no .
September Siggy Challenge : Favorite Childhood Movies ( Sorry I have two)
Last time it was only DH and I along with the amazing medical staff. My sister already asked again if she could be there it's time ad I once again said no. It was such a special moment for him and I and I cannot wait to share that with him again.
I was adamant that I didn't want him to look below the waist but when the time came I couldn't have cared less and he couldn't not look. He said it was amazing and was so glad he witnessed her birth up close and personal. He said it was life changing and that he has such respect for what we women can do.
Interestingly, my very easy going mom seemed a little hurt and surprised when I told her that I want my daughter to meet that baby before anyone else. It was odd.
Edited because I got trigger happy and posted too soon.
Last time it felt a little crowded in there. It was my husband, Mom, and mother in law (much to my dismay). This time, because we have a son that my Mom and mother in law will be caring for, it will just be me and my husband, which suits me fine. But, he leaned a little too heavily on my Mom last time, so he's going to need to step up!
I couldn't imagine having anyone other than my husband in the room. It's not a party so I get really confused when people expect they'll be allowed in too. On top of that, it is a super special moment between my husband and I to experience becoming parents. I'm not interested in sharing that.
Like a pp said, I might only want it to be me and my midwife/nursing staff for the actual birth. My hubby is super squeamish around blood and what not so I think it'll be more stressful to be worrying about him. (Before I get chewed out, even my midwife said watching a birth is NOT for everyone!) He'll definitely be there up until pushing and then maybe just step out?, I guess we'll see how it all goes. I'm very independent and could go either way, not too worried about it.
I thought my husband would have a really hard time too. He hates blood, and could t even watch birthing videos in our birthing class without getting light headed. That being said, he was the most amazing he could have possibly been in the delivery room. It was like something clicked for him and it didn't bother him at all! There's always the chance hour husband will be the same way!
This one is going to be hard for me because my mom had been there with me for my first two but she passed away Christmas day. For my oldest I was a single mom so having my mom there was the best thing EVER for me. With my second my husband was more interested in talking to his family than being with me so she was my comfort to get through being induced again. So I still am not sure who I want to be there because I know my husband won't stay with me since that is just not the type of guy he is.
Unfortunately the hospital only allows 2 in at a time. So of course my partner but then it gets hard. I want my mom, sister, aunt, and bff. We are a very small family and very close. My other kids can't come in because they don't allow anyone under 18 in delivery room either.
Re: Who do you want in the delivery room?
Funny story, for DD (11 years ago) we let my then 15 year old brother in with my mom, my (now ex) bf, and his sister. My brother stayed until the blood then he left. Honestly I was in so much pain I didn't care who saw me. To this day he is the only 25 year old unwed man we know who isn't popping babies out.
My mother called it Nature's Birth Control lol!
my own wishes.
However, I would like DH to be there if he feels calm and can control his need to constantly leave the room/hospital.
But as it stands right now, me, dh, my mother, my sister, staff and then baby!
*BFP #1- 11/12/12, m/c 11/16/12 @ 6 weeks
*BFP #2- 1/23/13 EDD 10/4/13
*Emma Rose: 10/8/13
*BFP #3- EDD 03/9/16
March '16 December Siggy Challenge- Favorite Christmas Movie/Quote
For my DD I had it in the birthing plan that my DH stay by my head when it came time for pushing. He may have been curious, but I was more comfortable with him not seeing what my body could do.
I know. Totally weird.
I was adamant that I didn't want him to look below the waist but when the time came I couldn't have cared less and he couldn't not look. He said it was amazing and was so glad he witnessed her birth up close and personal. He said it was life changing and that he has such respect for what we women can do.
Interestingly, my very easy going mom seemed a little hurt and surprised when I told her that I want my daughter to meet that baby before anyone else. It was odd.
Edited because I got trigger happy and posted too soon.
m/c: 9/06/12
LTB: 10/23/13