LO was a bit fussy tonight so I suggested a family outing to walgreens to pick up some pictures and other supplies. We also promised ice cream from McDonalds next door for DS. LO will generally fall asleep if tired while in the car, so off we go. Half way there we're still dealing with a crying baby and now a toddler with his hands on his ears screaming at us his idea of a conversation. DH just looks at me and laughs, "not the family outing you pictured," DH says. And I reply with, "was this ever the life you pictured?" We both got a good laugh out of the situation, which is was better than frustration and yelling back at the kids. LO had a burp stuck that came out in Walgreens. She passed out in the car moments after strapping her back in.
So happy to have DH to share in those moments...even better to have him turn it into humor.
This morning I was standing in the kitchen doing dishes and DH comes out. He had a sweet smile on his face, almost excited, and said - gosh, you look great!
...I hadn't brushed my hair, teeth, gotten dressed or anything so I was thinking WTF!? Well then I realized he thought I had put a dress on! Really it's just the first cold morning here in a long time and I had thrown a black robe on when I got up. But geesh, you know you've dressed like a frumpy or "comfortable" mom (aka yoga pants) all summer when your DH gets excited looking at you in a robe!!
Does anyone remember the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when Ray reveals to Robert that sometimes he acts like he is bad at things just so Debra won't ask him to help anymore? Because I think that's going on at my house. DH is a competent parent all day long, but suddenly between 12 and 6am he doesn't know how to do anything. Can't change a diaper, couldn't possibly do a feeding.
@KonaCoffeeBean ^^^ mine suddenly develops aches and pains and ailments that make taking care of LO prohibitive. Back pain, knee issues, headaches, stomach cramps. [-(
Does anyone remember the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when Ray reveals to Robert that sometimes he acts like he is bad at things just so Debra won't ask him to help anymore? Because I think that's going on at my house. DH is a competent parent all day long, but suddenly between 12 and 6am he doesn't know how to do anything. Can't change a diaper, couldn't possibly do a feeding.
I was just thinking about that! Not that episode, which I've never seen, but that concept. DH gets LO ready for bed while I do the boys, and he's kind of sloppy at swaddling her. I want to correct him but I KNOW if I do it'll be something he suddenly doesn't know how to do so it becomes my job.
@KonaCoffeeBean my DH is this way about cooking. I asked if he and DS could make me pancakes and bacon for dinner one night and he said he couldn't because he'd burn them. I told him, "just turn the heat down." To which he replies, "then it takes too long." Yeah total side eye. He's just too lazy to cook. Bugs the shit out of me, but I just get over it and if I really don't want to cook I just make him go get us something to eat.
A mini rant: DS woke up at 3:30 while I was feeding LO and wanted someone to put him back in bed. I woke up DH at 4 and he ended up in his room until 6 trying to get him to fall back asleep. I get up at 6 for her next feeding and afterwards join DH who is all grumbly and irritated. I asked him if he wanted to trade and he could get up three times a night instead of one. He didn't find it very funny. It put things into perspective real quick though and he dropped the woe is me attitude. Yeah, buck up buddy...it could be a lot worse.
I have both a rant and a rave, Rave: dh had me pick up dd from daycare he was going to be coming home late and wasn't sure of the time. when I came home he had added dirty dishes to the clean ones and started the dishwasher (hey whatever clean dishes are clean) cleaned the kitchen and made dinner. Awesome, also offered to take the baby monitor last night since I was really run down.
Rant: I'm really worn down because his alarm goes off every 2 minutes or so for 20-25 minutes at 5am,I work at 8:30. I sleep in another room because it's annoying to listen to the alarm and him banging around in the morning. Not only do I wake up because of the alarm so did dd who also sleeps in another room, this happens every morning(most of the time I can get her to go back to sleep). DH refuses to not hit the snooze button so much, refuses to change the alarm so it's not as loud, refuses to put in another part of the room so he can get up and turn it off instead. He also comes to bed at 10-11 and is not the silent type. So every day Monday-Friday I'm up at 5-10:30pm, and I know I shouldn't complain, but when I already sleep trained my dd to sleep from 9:30-6-7 in the morning (because she is the best baby ever) I'm annoyed that DH is the reason I don't get to sleep. I started sleeping in the other room because of the alarm, which we have fought about for years...any suggestions? I really love my husband and would like to sleep next to him again, especially since there is no tv in the room I'm in. lol.
Yes that rolls one right now he has to solve a math problem to snooze and it still doesn't wake him up!!! Clearly he is way too good at math and he needs to do some calculus to really get his Brain moving.
Yes that rolls one right now he has to solve a math problem to snooze and it still doesn't wake him up!!! Clearly he is way too good at math and he needs to do some calculus to really get his Brain moving.
Wow I'm impressed. My DH is a smart man but he is not a morning person and barley functions for the first 20 min lol.
my husband is the same way. an alarm going off every 5 minutes starting at 5am. sometimes lasting an hour and a half. even on his days off he has it on. and of course he doesnt wake up till its been going off for 2 minutes already so ive honestly just resorted to kicking him. if we had an extra room to sleep in i would so be there.
Yes that rolls one right now he has to solve a math problem to snooze and it still doesn't wake him up!!! Clearly he is way too good at math and he needs to do some calculus to really get his Brain moving.
Is this a real thing?! I want one! Haha. #mathnerd
The past 2 mornings when my fiancé goes to leave the room the floor speaks and wakes lo up.. So he can go to the gym at 5:30 before work. Yesterday at 4:30 today at 5 am! Ugh.. She usually sleeps till 6 something and last night she couldn't stay asleep and didn't go to sleep until 9:40 when she's usually down around 8. There's no reason for me to be up now.. And our 5 year old gets up a little before 7 so i can't even go back to sleep for any length of time.. Then I wake lo up to take her sister to school. He gets home around 3:30/4 so there's no reason why he can't take care of the last nap of the day so I can do something else.. But she can't get comfy because he has no boobs and can't snuggle up in his arms.. She won't drink from bottles so I always feed her, always get her to nap, always do everything. It's exhausting and I just want to cry because he can't do anything and i do it all.
I have neither a rant nor a rave, but seek advice on how to approach a situation. MIL purchased and sent us bumpers for LOs crib. Not the mesh kind, the actual padded pillow type of bumpers. (In her defense, she did at least stick with the 'theme' that we had chosen for LOs room, at least) She paid for them separately on her own from somewhere, and shipped them to us seperatly from herself, vs having the seller ship them. So I'm unable to return them on the sly. And DH wants to use them. He even put them in the crib already. I've told him its a not recommended item and why, and all he says is that old yarn about they were in his crib and he's fine. And that he doesn't want LO to 'rip his arm off between the slats'. :-< Yes, I could just put my foot down and be done with the whole thing. But while safety is (very) important, I'd rather not be a mommy tyrant about what are essentially cloth pillows. I'd really like to, preferably, have this decision be made by the both of us, you know? Any suggestions? So far all I have thought of is "staging" a pic where LO is up against the bumpers so I can be like 'ha! See!? He could choke!' Which I'm not adverse to doing, but I can't decide if that's more distasteful than just being a mommy tyrant.
(I'm actually not 100% opposed to mesh bumpers, btw. No judgment for any mamas who have been using them, I remember seeing some discussion on this)
Can you provide him with evidence of babies that have died and compromise to say when we have people over bumpers go on (like throw pillows on an adults bed) and when Lo is in there they are taken off and put away
I have neither a rant nor a rave, but seek advice on how to approach a situation. MIL purchased and sent us bumpers for LOs crib. Not the mesh kind, the actual padded pillow type of bumpers. (In her defense, she did at least stick with the 'theme' that we had chosen for LOs room, at least) She paid for them separately on her own from somewhere, and shipped them to us seperatly from herself, vs having the seller ship them. So I'm unable to return them on the sly. And DH wants to use them. He even put them in the crib already. I've told him its a not recommended item and why, and all he says is that old yarn about they were in his crib and he's fine. And that he doesn't want LO to 'rip his arm off between the slats'. :-< Yes, I could just put my foot down and be done with the whole thing. But while safety is (very) important, I'd rather not be a mommy tyrant about what are essentially cloth pillows. I'd really like to, preferably, have this decision be made by the both of us, you know? Any suggestions? So far all I have thought of is "staging" a pic where LO is up against the bumpers so I can be like 'ha! See!? He could choke!' Which I'm not adverse to doing, but I can't decide if that's more distasteful than just being a mommy tyrant.
(I'm actually not 100% opposed to mesh bumpers, btw. No judgment for any mamas who have been using them, I remember seeing some discussion on this)
Can you take him with to your next pedi visit and have them explain the recommendation? The threat of SIDS is more likely than "getting an arm ripped off." It was a nice gesture, so you could take a pic with them in to send MIL and then remove them, but that won't help with DH. I personally don't see the need for bumpers, but I don't follow every SIDS recommendation either.
Here's a picture of DS sleeping with his legs through the slats. It happened a lot and never bothered him. Don't mind the blanket. He was 9 months when this was taken and we let him sleep with it. So I guess this picture can go either way.
Pardon my ignorance, but is there an age when bumpers are ok to use? Because if so, can the compromise be taking pictures for MIL now and then putting them away til age-appropriate? Just like you would if she bought 12 month clothing. Is he already in his crib? Sorry if I missed it, but I thought he was still in the PnP. If so, maybe it's a battle you can kick down the road...? I get how you're feeling, and would feel the same. It's a tough spot to be in. PP suggestions about asking the pediatrician are good, too.
Edited for punctuation, because I was using question marks at the end of sentences like a valley girl
I'd put my foot down. Safety comes before hurting my MILs feelings. Explain the new recommendations. Id thank her profusely for the kind gesture and gift but highlight how it's a SIDS risk and the dr said no. Your DH should be on board with this too.
you could put then on at the top of the slats? or maybe attach then so theyre facing out of the crib? that way LOs face has less risk of being pushed against them and cant really get an arm ripped off by sticking then between.
Yes, LO is still in the pnp right now, but the 'soft target' for moving him to his room was end of September (knowing that if I aimed for September it would probably happen by end of October, ha) so we're creeping up needing to address this. Regards to MIL, she is nowhere nearby so once I take a picture of the bumpers on the crib and the room looking all cute, I can just take the bumpers down and forget about them. Its actually DH who wants to keep them up, and not cause him mom sent them, just because he likes the way it looks and because he's one of those people who like to keep useless things because he deludes himself into thinking he is going to use them. Our next appt with the ped isn't until 10/27, and if we're still back and forth about this by then, I'll have him talk to her about it. That WILL work, but I'd like to have the kid in the crib before then. I just don't want to argue about bumpers if I make a stand. What a stupid thing to argue about. Not that safety is stupid, but just... Of all the things to argue about, you know? Maybe I'll be able to dig up some statistics somewhere that will help me
@klkonwi that's a fab idea, but they're pretty stiff. Almost like as if there were foam playmat type cushions in them.
Actually, your idea may work @klkonwi. They aren't as stiff as I thought. It might look weird for a little while but as the fabric gets used to being bent that way it should look better as it 'molds' in place. Genius!
@kristenk727 yes that app is a real thing! Otherwise I would just turn the damn thing off every morning and be on my way lol. But one I'm not super with it until coffee and 2 I suck at math.. so that plan was quickly foiled. I also agree with using as teether or hiding in back of closet for appropriate age @mellymar. We had some aunt send us like 3 hideous quilts like by far the ugliest things I've seen. I threw them all away. One that lady is never coming over and if she did I would say lo has tons of blankets and they were ugly. But everyone is aware of my blunt attitude so honestly I think I get away with more because of it.
@lovethatcolosun going off on a little tangent but my dh has actually tried to bake pancake batter so I am sure men can mess it up. I texted him one night to cook pancakes thinking there was no way he could mess them up. He saw a temperature on the box so he assumed he was supposed to use the oven. They were as crispy as a chip, and tasted awful. He has never lived it down.
Pardon my ignorance, but is there an age when bumpers are ok to use? Because if so, can the compromise be taking pictures for MIL now and then putting them away til age-appropriate? Just like you would if she bought 12 month clothing. Is he already in his crib? Sorry if I missed it, but I thought he was still in the PnP. If so, maybe it's a battle you can kick down the road...? I get how you're feeling, and would feel the same. It's a tough spot to be in. PP suggestions about asking the pediatrician are good, too.
Edited for punctuation, because I was using question marks at the end of sentences like a valley girl
We started using them for DS1 around 12-15 mo with pedi's ok. Our boy's self soothing method at night is to rock himself curled up on his knees/chest hitting his head against the crib slats... Ow. Weirdo. :-/
@lovethatcolosun going off on a little tangent but my dh has actually tried to bake pancake batter so I am sure men can mess it up. I texted him one night to cook pancakes thinking there was no way he could mess them up. He saw a temperature on the box so he assumed he was supposed to use the oven. They were as crispy as a chip, and tasted awful. He has never lived it down.
That's awesome! See, I know that DH has an idea of how to make them because he's seen me do it. The man can rebuild/fix most cars and trucks, but won't cook a meal. He's damn lucky he married a pastry chef! We actually both lucked out, because I have a mechanic I trust who fixes me cars for free.
I do wish DH would show an interest in cooking with me. I secretly envy those couples who cook together. I get lonely in the kitchen.
Total Rave: I went back to work this week and we had decided that we were going to send LO to daycare 1 day early so I could practice getting up, getting ready, and putting on clothes that weren't yoga pants. So DH, completly on his own, scheduled a spa day for me while LO was at day care (massage, facial, nails, etc) so I could have 1 last day of fun before work. He's the best!
So far, so good at work, but they do really need to invent work professional yoga pants
Total Rave: I went back to work this week and we had decided that we were going to send LO to daycare 1 day early so I could practice getting up, getting ready, and putting on clothes that weren't yoga pants. So DH, completly on his own, scheduled a spa day for me while LO was at day care (massage, facial, nails, etc) so I could have 1 last day of fun before work. He's the best!
So far, so good at work, but they do really need to invent work professional yoga pants
So far, so good at work, but they do really need to invent work professional yoga pants
DH still mocks me because 10 years ago, at the beginning of my career, I put a belt on over a cute PJ set and wore it to work. I pretended the belt, heels, and accessories hid the fact that they were pajamas. (Casual Friday, right?!) Three people complimented my outfit that day, but I will never know if they were genuine. I think they were. DH says, "Pajamas. You wore. Pajamas."
Anyway, point being, they make professional pajamas, so I'm sure they make professional yoga pants ;-)
So DH is acting like I am ridiculous because I won't let him take our 3 month old to Chicago (6 hour drive) tomorrow morning, and not come back until Saturday night. He can't find someone to watch him and I have to work both tomorrow and Saturday. Yes I work 6 days a week, yes I am gone for 13 hours two of those days but LO has never been away from me between 9pm and 7am. And certainly not for 36 hours. And DH (or SH, let's be honest Shitty Husband is just more correct) has never watched him overnight, he sleeps in another fucking so he can get his beauty rest. So sorrynotsorry honey. I'm right, you are the ridiculous one. No mother is going to want to allow her 3 month old to spend 12 hours in the car and 36 hours away from her. Not to mention the clots and mastitis I'd probably get if I were to just pump (pumping is not my thing). Stay home, watch the kids, or better yet go to work so I can stay home. Or plan more than a day in advance so you can actually arrange a sitter instead of springing this on me at 9pm when I still have several hours of lesson planning for tomorrow.
Wow that sounds angry. . . But I think I am justifiably pissed! I just lost my Zen after almost 2 years of peaceful existence. That makes me even more pissed. I need to go break something or drink something. Too bad I have to work tomorrow.
Re: DH / SO rants or raves - Month of September
So happy to have DH to share in those moments...even better to have him turn it into humor.
This morning I was standing in the kitchen doing dishes and DH comes out. He had a sweet smile on his face, almost excited, and said - gosh, you look great!
...I hadn't brushed my hair, teeth, gotten dressed or anything so I was thinking WTF!? Well then I realized he thought I had put a dress on! Really it's just the first cold morning here in a long time and I had thrown a black robe on when I got up. But geesh, you know you've dressed like a frumpy or "comfortable" mom (aka yoga pants) all summer when your DH gets excited looking at you in a robe!!
2nd round exp 8/20/18.
A mini rant: DS woke up at 3:30 while I was feeding LO and wanted someone to put him back in bed. I woke up DH at 4 and he ended up in his room until 6 trying to get him to fall back asleep. I get up at 6 for her next feeding and afterwards join DH who is all grumbly and irritated. I asked him if he wanted to trade and he could get up three times a night instead of one. He didn't find it very funny. It put things into perspective real quick though and he dropped the woe is me attitude. Yeah, buck up buddy...it could be a lot worse.
I have both a rant and a rave, Rave: dh had me pick up dd from daycare he was going to be coming home late and wasn't sure of the time. when I came home he had added dirty dishes to the clean ones and started the dishwasher (hey whatever clean dishes are clean) cleaned the kitchen and made dinner. Awesome, also offered to take the baby monitor last night since I was really run down.
Rant: I'm really worn down because his alarm goes off every 2 minutes or so for 20-25 minutes at 5am,I work at 8:30. I sleep in another room because it's annoying to listen to the alarm and him banging around in the morning. Not only do I wake up because of the alarm so did dd who also sleeps in another room, this happens every morning(most of the time I can get her to go back to sleep). DH refuses to not hit the snooze button so much, refuses to change the alarm so it's not as loud, refuses to put in another part of the room so he can get up and turn it off instead. He also comes to bed at 10-11 and is not the silent type. So every day Monday-Friday I'm up at 5-10:30pm, and I know I shouldn't complain, but when I already sleep trained my dd to sleep from 9:30-6-7 in the morning (because she is the best baby ever) I'm annoyed that DH is the reason I don't get to sleep. I started sleeping in the other room because of the alarm, which we have fought about for years...any suggestions? I really love my husband and would like to sleep next to him again, especially since there is no tv in the room I'm in. lol.
https://www.sleeptracker.com/blog/2012/02/16/three-annoying-alarm-clocks/
Yes, I could just put my foot down and be done with the whole thing. But while safety is (very) important, I'd rather not be a mommy tyrant about what are essentially cloth pillows. I'd really like to, preferably, have this decision be made by the both of us, you know?
Any suggestions? So far all I have thought of is "staging" a pic where LO is up against the bumpers so I can be like 'ha! See!? He could choke!' Which I'm not adverse to doing, but I can't decide if that's more distasteful than just being a mommy tyrant.
(I'm actually not 100% opposed to mesh bumpers, btw. No judgment for any mamas who have been using them, I remember seeing some discussion on this)
Here's a picture of DS sleeping with his legs through the slats. It happened a lot and never bothered him. Don't mind the blanket. He was 9 months when this was taken and we let him sleep with it. So I guess this picture can go either way.
Is he already in his crib? Sorry if I missed it, but I thought he was still in the PnP. If so, maybe it's a battle you can kick down the road...?
I get how you're feeling, and would feel the same. It's a tough spot to be in. PP suggestions about asking the pediatrician are good, too.
Edited for punctuation, because I was using question marks at the end of sentences like a valley girl
Path of least resistance.
I do wish DH would show an interest in cooking with me. I secretly envy those couples who cook together. I get lonely in the kitchen.
So far, so good at work, but they do really need to invent work professional yoga pants
Anyway, point being, they make professional pajamas, so I'm sure they make professional yoga pants ;-)
Wow that sounds angry. . . But I think I am justifiably pissed! I just lost my Zen after almost 2 years of peaceful existence. That makes me even more pissed. I need to go break something or drink something. Too bad I have to work tomorrow.