Pro-tips on How to Deal When Everyone Else is Pregnant

BumpCaitlin · July 2015

Babies and bumps are the last thing you want to see right now, yet they seem to be popping up everywhere.

We know how it feels, so we asked a pro to share tips on how to cope. Our favorite? Making the most out of your baby-free life...for now.

How do you deal when everyone else is pregnant, and you’re trying to get pregnant?

P.S. Let's take our friendship to the next level. Like us on Facebook

CoonMom · July 2015

Sorry I have no advice because I too can't get babies off my mind. I'm commenting to follow; hoping someone has tips for us.

MrsH413 · July 2015

This topic could not have been brought up at a better time for me. One of my best friends is being induced as I type this, and two others are expecting. Not to mention countless more friends who have just announced they're expecting or given birth! It's literally everywhere and I feel like I can't escape it, but at the same time I'm afraid to escape it because I fear I will be left behind as the last one who's childless. Today is hard and it's taking a huge toll on me.

BumpCaitlin · July 2015

MrsH413 said:

This topic could not have been brought up at a better time for me. One of my best friends is being induced as I type this, and two others are expecting. Not to mention countless more friends who have just announced they're expecting or given birth! It's literally everywhere and I feel like I can't escape it, but at the same time I'm afraid to escape it because I fear I will be left behind as the last one who's childless. Today is hard and it's taking a huge toll on me.

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a hard day. I hope our tips provide you some comfort, and I want you to know we're rooting for you!

jbal918 · July 2015

Definitely want to follow this as well! I try to stay positive but it's hard isn't it??

mscrane09 · August 2015

I would like to hear some tips too! We are not TTC yet, as we are working on getting into a new house and getting married first (busy busy!) but I have babies on the brain so bad, and everybody is adding to their families with beautiful bundles of joy except me!

How do I conserve my sanity (and my boyfriend's!) while I bide my time until we can TTC?!!

Ebrown1010 · September 2015

At the beginning of the year, I told my BFF that "2015 was the year of fertility!" Oh boy was I taught a lesson about 'the words that come out of your mouth'! Now it seems as though everyone (including the friend that I told this to) is pregnant, have had their baby/ies or is announcing the news all over FB! Next time I'll say "2016 is the year that I'LL be blessed with MY precious bundle of joy!" Lol!! Good luck ladies!

Nikki1594 · September 2015

We have been trying for almost a year now, my best friend had a baby in may and got pregnant again, a friend at work decided she was going to try for a baby got pregnant the first try. Friends are all posting pictures of their new babies and I'm just over here watching. I guess everything comes with time.

Joannak91 · September 2015

dogmomwantinghuman said:

Sorry I have no advice because I too can't get babies off my mind. I'm commenting to follow; hoping someone has tips for us.

I second this.

aetomshaw · September 2015

When I graduated high school, everyone was suddenly getting pregnant! Now that we're out, I feel like I'm the only one without a baby, and it's driving me crazy!

bcemensky · September 2015

I've been trying to conceive for a while.... And I'm 11 days late with BFN still.... And I'm becoming very sad.... As EVERYONE around me is getting pregnant:(

Lilybee8614 · October 2015

@Nikki1594 I feel your pain. Although we have not reached the 1 year of TTC yet but it will be there next month. I have so many friends around me with babies and its driving me bonkers. My sister and her husband took them 6 years before they conceived and my niece was turning 1 when they found out they were expecting again. Which I am so happy for them cuz they have been done the hard road already.
What is hard to swallow is finding out good friends of ours got pregnant and they weren't actually trying.
But the worst was finding out that my younger sister in law is now pregnant and she was struggling on a daily basis with anything that is "life". She has trouble making decisions for her own life. How will she cope to make decisions for this baby?
It's just not fair when we have actually been TTC all this time and it happens to them without them trying.

mrsyellagator · November 2015

I hate everyone pregnant right now i just act ☺

(

ashleyluxe · November 2015

I work at a Children's Hospital and so I am forced to see babies, and pregnant ladies, and adorable kids all day. Talk about baby fever!

kelseyruby · November 2015

@mrsyellagator I know right!! I babysit and lo's mommy is expecting now.... ughhhh

picklesplease · November 2015

My husband and I have just started TTC, but it's still be hard. We decided we wanted to wait a while and enjoy marriage for a bit, just the two of us, before we brought another person into this world. It was the toughest decision ever and it got even more difficult when my best friend got pregnant. Then my supervisor found out she's pregnant with twins. It really tugs on your heartstrings. I started charting and discovered that I don't always ovulate...which will make timing conception difficult. How do you deal with people who make it look so much easier when you are struggling? I haven't found the answer yet. I'm just trying to enjoy the time with my husband.

mtracy25 · November 2015

Its hard when you start trying and your not pregnant. my husband and I have been trying for 4 years. If you notice that you are not ovulating each month you should see your doctor. ps you have been TTC since last month, way to early to be concerned, give yourself 6 months.

good luck

picklesplease · November 2015

@mtracy25, you are right. The fear creeps in. It's hard not to be irrational when you feel as though no one is listening to your concerns. I've been to a few different doctors and I don't really feel as though they are listening to me, just looking at my charts and patting me on the head and telling me to calm down.

klgarrison1987 · November 2015

My husband and I have been trying for two years. We have tried two IUIs then decided to try IVF. Our first IVF transfer did not work. We were devastated. I'm literally surrounded by people that are having children. I'm so heart broken. I hope someone has good advice for staying positive. I could really use it

mtracy25 · November 2015

I totally understand. The fear its self is enough to keep you up at night!! Your doing the right thing by charting your cycles.I track everything from my cycle to symptoms I maybe experiencing like mood, cramping, headache, sex even what medication I take that day. That way you can take it to a providers office and say this is what I have discovered on my own, now please help. But if you are not getting the brush off attitude then look for someone else. You should never have to feel that way. try to keep your spirits. sending good thoughts your way!

TingLeong · November 2015

wow cool post, following this

picklesplease · November 2015

@mtracy25 - Thanks! I appreciate the good thoughts! I'm doing the same for you! I have another appointment with another doctor. I'm on my 6th doctor at this point. Hopefully 6th time's the charm? Hoping to find some answers.

catherine225 · December 2015

I just listened to a podcast that might actually help you. It was about FOMO, but I think her tips applied. She (psychologist) suggested that every time we look at others and want what they have, it takes us out of the present moment-- missing out on your life RIGHT NOW. Keeping a daily diary of gratitude might help to keep you grounded. I practice yoga and like the peace it gives me because this is really my personality too.

She also suggested not to compare your life with others' highlights. In other words, notice that when others are talking about their pregnancies or kids, they might be posting on social media or discussing only the best parts about it.

Finally, you might literally keep a list of things you GET to do without kids. Not that this will be your forever, but it might help you when you feel like you have no control. For example, when I get my period, I always have a glass of wine! lol. It's my little way of thinking what I get to do and celebrating that my life is going on right now and whatever your situation is, that you have a lot of good things still going on.

:-) hugs to you on this journey.

Knottie52147129 · December 2015

I'm glad I'm not the only one with the fear of getting left behind, especially when age plays a big factor in pregnancy. I try really hard to focus just on us and when the timing will be right for us, but its easy to loose sight of when everyone is having babies all over the place and I can just feel my body reacting and really wanting one, and being sad because I don't know what that road looks like for us since there are fertility issues known.

stillpraying1Sam127 · December 2015

My husband and I have been trying for 3 and a half years. I was sure last month was my month....I had a REALLY good feeling about it. My sister was having her second baby and I traveled to be there for her at the birth. I had marked on my calendar that following Saturday I was going to test and finally get my BFP. When I left my sister's side for her to finish pushing her baby out I went to the restroom and there was AF taunting me...AF came early. I was devastated. When my sister handed me my sweet niece I looked at my sister and trying to choke back tears I whispered "she is perfect" and then started sobbing (uncontrollably). The only way I know how to deal with all the pregnancies is by loving all those beautiful pregnant ladies and loving their sweet babies but also knowing it is ok to cry.

sLass42 · December 2015

Also following.
I hate to say it but the worst is being surrounded by pregnant co workers who don't want to be pregnant.

Drives me crazy....
We've only been ttc for 4 months, but those who aren't trying seem to get it the first time!

CDLaird9515 · January 2016

So sorry this is happening to you. I know how you feel. Hubby and I have been trying for 2 years now with no success. My sister (whom is 21 years old) just had her second baby boy in November. Both kids were unplanned and they were not trying. Then my sister's best friend gets pregnant without trying. Now just a few weeks ago a co-worker announced to all of us at work that she is 20 weeks pregnant, also wasn't trying.

It feels unfair that all these people around me are getting pregnant without trying and we are wanting babies and trying really hard with no luck.

I wish you the best and hope your BFP comes soon for you.

lillypad1017 · February 2016

My husband and I have been ttc for over a year. Yesterday, I received a phone call from my sister who has been with her boyfriend for two months. SURPRISE she's pregnant!

She has an eleven year old that was taken away from her because she is, simply, a bad mother. Why is it that she doesn't deserve a second chance and gets one no problem

nicjaney · February 2016

Hi everyone! My husband and I are TTC our first baby and man is it STRESSFUL!!

luckywife10 · February 2016

Lilybee8614 said:

@Nikki1594 I feel your pain. Although we have not reached the 1 year of TTC yet but it will be there next month. I have so many friends around me with babies and its driving me bonkers. My sister and her husband took them 6 years before they conceived and my niece was turning 1 when they found out they were expecting again. Which I am so happy for them cuz they have been done the hard road already. What is hard to swallow is finding out good friends of ours got pregnant and they weren't actually trying. But the worst was finding out that my younger sister in law is now pregnant and she was struggling on a daily basis with anything that is "life". She has trouble making decisions for her own life. How will she cope to make decisions for this baby? It's just not fair when we have actually been TTC all this time and it happens to them without them trying.

@Lilybee8614 I completely agree with you about seeing close friends becoming pregnant unexpectedly. In a 2 week span, I found out 6 women I know became pregnant unexpectedly. That was a rough patch for me. DH and I have been married for 3 years and have not yet started TTC yet (we will this August). Although it's been difficult to wait, we want to be in a good place with our finances, career, and living situations before TTC. But yes, it's not fair for you and others who have been TTC for a long time and then finding out others are unexpectedly expecting.

sarahppar · May 2016

My advice is to see this time as a GIFT. change your perspective a bit. you aren't being punished or left behind.

Waiting for a baby is really really hard! but i believe there is a bright side.

you get more time to work on yourself to be a better, more emotionally stable, balanced person and therefore a better mom.

I love this blog post as it remind me of the gift of waiting for a baby.

https://www.approachingmotherhood.com/blog/2015/the-gift-on-infertility-and-waiting-for-a-baby

sarahppar · May 2016

DoctorDonna said:

My husband and I have just started TTC, but it's still be hard. We decided we wanted to wait a while and enjoy marriage for a bit, just the two of us, before we brought another person into this world. It was the toughest decision ever and it got even more difficult when my best friend got pregnant. Then my supervisor found out she's pregnant with twins. It really tugs on your heartstrings. I started charting and discovered that I don't always ovulate...which will make timing conception difficult. How do you deal with people who make it look so much easier when you are struggling? I haven't found the answer yet. I'm just trying to enjoy the time with my husband.

I love your positive attitude of just enjoying the time with your husband. I think there is so much we can do with the time that we are waiting. Strengthening our partnerships is one of them. It will make us better mothers in the end.
Your future kids will thank you!

SesshomaruMom · July 2016

Oh I am so glad I found this post! I've been having some of the same issues with seeing pregnant women and babies everywhere. My SO and I are just getting started TTC, but yeesh! It still gets to me. It doesn't help that both our moms are making 'grandbabies' noises. *sigh*

amiec-2 · July 2016

I am struggling to wait until Aug next year (parameters set by us) and my head knows it's right but my heart and soul cries in agony for the emptiness and the fear of how long it might take us to conceive. But we have decided to slowly turn our spare room into a nursery over the next year, but by bit (there's a lot to do) to focus me. Some problem might find this crazy but it's helping. Also making plans and doing research on birth/healthcare/parenting. My husband and I spend so much time planning parenting ideas too, playing out little scenarios and thinking about what we would do and the things that are important to us, kinda takes the focus off the actual getting pregnant bit. Don't know if it will help anyone else, I'm still struggling lol! Much love to everyone xxx

kkaupu · July 2016

I'm so happy to have found this post! I definitely have baby fever but DH is very weary about trying for #3. I've had really tough pregnancies and a couple of miscarriages. DH is just afraid that my symptoms will be worse but I'm willing to go through everything all over again. My best friend and SIL are currently pregnant along with other people from my childhood. Looking for some tips and pointers to get through this.

AMCsquared · November 2016

I'll chime in! everyone around me either has kids or is pregnant. literally everyone besides 1 person I know.
What I've done is always remember that someone else's happiness can't be related back to me and what I want!
It's hard when I see people getting pregnant by accident or when they didn't want a baby. those cases sting a little more.

But nonetheless I just remember my time will come.

AMCsquared · November 2016

AmieC said:

I am struggling to wait until Aug next year (parameters set by us) and my head knows it's right but my heart and soul cries in agony for the emptiness and the fear of how long it might take us to conceive. But we have decided to slowly turn our spare room into a nursery over the next year, but by bit (there's a lot to do) to focus me. Some problem might find this crazy but it's helping. Also making plans and doing research on birth/healthcare/parenting. My husband and I spend so much time planning parenting ideas too, playing out little scenarios and thinking about what we would do and the things that are important to us, kinda takes the focus off the actual getting pregnant bit. Don't know if it will help anyone else, I'm still struggling lol! Much love to everyone xxx

I totally understand what you're feeling! I also have to wait for certain reasons... AND the original plan for having a baby last year was changed... but it doesn't make your brain stop dreaming about a baby . I do the same thing with going online and being on pinterest (and now on here) while I wait. sometimes I don't know if I'm making it easier or harder for myself !

kara.ross1 · January 2017

I have been married for 2 years and the pressure is definitely on as everyone asks "when is baby due??" Well loves. Its not due.

Id sooooo love for it to be, but though I know we will never truly be ready, we can definitely get a couple things in order so it can be a little simpler. As my husband is just starting some schooling again and I have the secure FT income, I just cant imagine dealing with the loss of that income after mat leave.

In the mean time, plenty of friends are pregnant or have given birth to these gorgeous little ones. I get lots of cuddles and get emotional as i rock them to sleep or to stop crying.. motherhood seems like the level up on womanhood! Every mom seems like 10 years more mature in life through these eyes (and they probably feel 10 years older in sleep deprivation)

But then I go to bed at night, I cuddle my husband, we wake one in a while in the night to cuddle more.. we go for a random date. We can still be spontaneous.. and I take a moment to soak in the amazingness of it! We have what all mommys miss, they'd never give up their child, but what they would give for that type of sleep and freedom once in a while! We arent the only ones missing something about a different stage of our life.. and our time will surely come.

We aren't alone in our desires.. from financial situations to medical ones.. the desire for parenthood runs deep in some of us! Its okay to be emotional about it.. own it! But dont ignore some of the things you do have. When you focus on all the good that IS in your life it gets just a little easier!

lovemesomehim418 · July 2017

I have no advice for this but it is really hard to see that. Prime example, my sister in law is pregnant, with their 6th, 4th child in the past 3 years. It's like a knife to the heart every day and even though I'm happy for them, I just don't want to see it because it makes me cry.

chinadoll2522 · January 2019

I've felt this over the years. I love to hear when someone is expecting....and the next thought is 'I wish it was me'. The hardest time of the year for me is around mothers day, I know a lot of sweet children and most of them wish all woman "Happy mothers day!" It's very cute and really makes me want a baby even more. My husband and I are not TTC at the moment and it might be awhile before we do. My husband is going to be 38 this year and I now know that his age can affect a bunch of things when trying to have a baby.

supercatwoman2003 · June 2019

Its quiet funny how life works. And that being said, I have said since I was a teenager I dont want to have kids. I dont like other people's kids, babies do not look adorable or cute to me when they are born. I have never held someone else's baby. I have often referred to being pregnant as having an alien or parasite (microbiologist for a job involves fungus. Bacteria and parasites). 12 years later after meeting my husband alot of that hasn't changed. Except my husbands sister got married last summer and accidentally got knocked up in August. She just had her kid. I'm still unsure of her baby. But I had this feeling- I want that. I want to be a mom. To share that bond with my husband. To see him be a great and amazing father. So here we are. Ttc. I. Am. Terrified. But were giving this a shot. Here I am reading these posts and trying to plan this out as much as possible. Ahaha jokes on me I know! 😅

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