We keep dating these for a week or so and then they keep running over their time frames, so I decided to just make this one monthly. If it gets unwieldy we can always start another
So, what are those significant others doing, ladies?
DH has been struggling with his military career. He has wanted to get out for awhile now, but was finishing the contract he signed in 2008. Even tho he really wanted to get out this year, he resigned for another 3 years, and is now on the phone with a college counselor to utilize his active duty tuition reimbursement and pursue a degree during the next 3 years so that he can get out at the end of this contract and have a plan for life afterwards.
So, what are those significant others doing, ladies?
Right at this moment he's working in a boring office so we can afford food, shelter, and future security and so I can stay home with my kids. That's pretty cool.
I'm going to keep the raves going, LO and I left this afternoon to come to my parent's house since we're leaving in the morning to go to the beach with them, my sister, BIL, and niece tomorrow. DH couldn't get off work and totally teared up when we left
So, what are those significant others doing, ladies?
Right at this moment he's working in a boring office so we can afford food, shelter, and future security and so I can stay home with my kids. That's pretty cool.
DH just bought me the special edition of Fallout New Vegas so I can binge play before Fallout 4 comes out in November. I've played it countless times, but I've never been able to justify spending the extra money for the expansions, so he just went and got it for me. And he's going to take care of LO tonight if she doesn't go down easy so I can play.
Lately I feel exhausted with staying home to take care of LO, attempting to keep the house clean, cook dinners and whatnot (you all know the drill). Some nights I feel like I need a break just to relax and tune out everything around me..lately LO gets tired and needs me to put him to sleep. DH wants to bad to come home to help, but LO just cries. I don't mind taking care of LO, but sometimes I get frustrated with DH with the fact that he gets to go to work and be by himself all day, then come home and do the same. I know logically that he works just as hard as I do but I always seem to take out my frustrations on him.
My rave is that he comes home every day, no matter how cranky I am, and tries to help out every way possible. He always makes sure I eat first, does dishes, bottles, or whatever I didn't get to during the day. He even takes care of LO if he wakes up at night so I can sleep. Even after having a baby and some days I act like the queen of hell, he still loves me, which is amazing.
DH works at a state university. Raises are always dictated by the state. DH is underpaid but we don't want to move. He negotiated the maximum raise from the Dean and told him he needed to figure out how to get him an additional raise so he is closer to market rate. Raises came out this week and the Chancellor matched the Dean doubling his raise. I'm so proud of him. Since he's a government employee, this is all public. We're just hoping none of his coworkers look it up since everyone else complained about their raise this year.
My DH is superman. We had some serious issues and we are working through them but he has seriously stepped up his game. He does as much if not more housework than I do. He cooks and cleans and does laundry. He takes care of our girls and hardly needs to ask questions anymore. It's amazing and I finally feel like I have a partner in this.
I'm surprised none of the FTM has brought it up yet, but isn't it awesome to watch your SO become a dad? I love watching DH with both kids and I love him even more as a father and my partner in this crazy journey than I did just as my husband.
^^^ yes! DH definitely deserves more raves than rants, and I know I don't give him enough credit. He works so hard, he barely has time to eat during the day. So he is always starving when he gets home. Tonight, in lieu of starting on his dinner (we had already eaten as he gets home late), he read our boys a couple bedtime stories. In the middle of one book, he stopped, kissed both boys on the head and said "I'm glad I'm home." Love! :x
I'm surprised none of the FTM has brought it up yet, but isn't it awesome to watch your SO become a dad? I love watching DH with both kids and I love him even more as a father and my partner in this crazy journey than I did just as my husband.
I'm surprised none of the FTM has brought it up yet, but isn't it awesome to watch your SO become a dad? I love watching DH with both kids and I love him even more as a father and my partner in this crazy journey than I did just as my husband.
I've fallen in love with him all over again. It's amazing
DH gives really loving commentary - like if I kiss the baby, DH will say, "Oh, you're a lucky little guy! Mommy kisses are the best!" Or when I come in the room, he'll say, "Yaaayyy, here's Mommy! She's the best!" It's so sweet, and prompts me to do the same - so I feel like DH is leading the way in creating a really loving environment for our little family.
He's also named LO's stuffed animals, and plays with LO and the toys very animatedly. When we are preparing the diaper bag, DH will say to me very seriously, "Did you pack Charlie?" (The stuffed bear. There is also a moose named Margot.)
The baby just adores his daddy, and looks around for him when DH leaves the room. We're so lucky to have this guy in our lives.
After DH being in the dog house for the last 2 weeks (apparently that was PMS induced totally didn't pick it) he has been amazing. Yesterday I was doing LO's bottles so he folded the laundry, pit it all away and then surprised me with 2 tickets to dirty dancing stage show & an amazing meal at Nobu restaurant to say thanks.
After DH being in the dog house for the last 2 weeks (apparently that was PMS induced totally didn't pick it) he has been amazing. Yesterday I was doing LO's bottles so he folded the laundry, pit it all away and then surprised me with 2 tickets to dirty dancing stage show & an amazing meal at Nobu restaurant to say thanks.
Oh how I've fallen back in love with you again.
Oh that's awesome! I tried to convince DH to see Dirty Dancing when I was pregnant. No dice. Your husband rocks!
I have never seen the movie or mentioned going so I'm not sure why he picked it but it was a really cool show.. Nice to do something different. Can you recommend any other shows to see virginiaunicorn11?
I have never seen the movie or mentioned going so I'm not sure why he picked it but it was a really cool show.. Nice to do something different. Can you recommend any other shows to see virginiaunicorn11?
We used to go to the theater all the time, but it's been over a year and I don't even know what's current! Or what's local for you. Some favorites over the years have been Book of Mormon, A View from the Bridge, One Man Two Governors, War Horse (awesome), anything Disney (I'm not a Disney fan but the productions are amazing), Waiting for Godot (have seen this a few times and it's always different and weird and good)...
DH hates musicals, so I rarely see those. Non-profit workers, teachers and military get heavily discounted Broadway tickets through a membership organization called TDF, so we used to go every month or so.
ETA: just saw you said you'd never seen Dirty Dancing. Omg! Sorry for long post, but have to share this:
When I was 5, my uncle gave me Cinderella for Christmas. I already had it, so he asked me what other movie wanted. I picked Dirty Dancing, which I'd seen during Friday Family Movie & Pizza Night. I just loved the dancing and music. I watched it so much, I memorized every line in the movie... But it wasn't til I re-watched it in high school that I realized what the ACTUAL story line is. And then sort of questioned my parents' judgment in letting me memorize that movie, lol
@mishmardhiono you are going to love it! I've never seen the stage show, but it is hands down my favorite movie ever.
@virginiaunicorn11 I used to watch it all the time as a kid, my mom's 2 younger sisters were 11 and 16 when I was born and I used to watch it with them, didn't realize till I was older what it was actually about and how inappropriate it was.
A slight rant to countermand my rave - it seems like any time DH is home now, during the overnight feeding (which I insist he be a part of by giving LO his bottle of formula while I relax and play games on my phone or bump) he seems to always need to go to the bathroom while giving the bottle, making it necessary for me to take over while he is in the bathroom for 10 minutes. Dude, since its not even my call to nature but I've figured out it happens fairly consistently, you could at least take care of it during the half hour the kid is attached to my boobs beforehand.
For the first day in forever, it is absolutely gorgeous here in NJ... We just finished a heat wave, and another starts tomorrow. I'm dying to get outside with LO and do something fun. I suggested we go to the Philadelphia Zoo, and DH said no because he had to mow the lawn this morning, and he doesn't want to go late in the afternoon. His suggestion? Walk around the neighborhood. Um, no dude. There are no tigers or gorillas in our neighborhood. I want to go to the zoo!! Boo.
ETA he must know I'm pissed. He suggested we take LO to a local park to walk around and then drop him off at my in laws so he and I can go out for all you can eat sushi tonight. I guess I can accept that sushi>zoo haha.
Rant: DH watched LO for all of 60 minutes while I ran to the store to get something presentable to wear, and when I called him she was crying. I said "did she nap?" And he goes uhhh no. I said "did you put her down to nap?" Uhhh no. Literally we have been doing that pattern since 6 weeks old I don't get it. I come home and she looks like a tired zombie plus it's time to eat but won't eat because she's so tired. I also asked him to try and feed her a bottle and he said "well I want to go do some yard work". Cue my eyes rolling and saying REALLY, 20 MINUTES WILL THROW YA OFF?
Notice how my rant is so much longer than my rave. I swear...sometimes men are incapable of making connections. It makes leaving her in his care terrible because he doesn't do anything right except keep her alive.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
@dancegurl1118 what is it with men and yardwork? DH won't say anything about it for days, then I ask him to help with something inside and suddenly the grass must be cut that instant.
@dancegurl1118 and @KarasTwin my DH is constantly cleaning the gutters. He is saying they need to be cleaned again. I think I need to learn to clean out the gutters.
Not a real rant, more of an annoyance. This morning I took the dog for a very short run, less than 30 min. Bottle was ready for LO, DS had breakfast. All he had to do was hang out with them. You would have thought he was a goddamn martyr for giving me 30 min. Dude, every single day I take care of both kids so you can poop, shower, shave and get dressed in peace, which takes more than 30 min. Stop complaining about it. The dog needs to poop anyway.
I was excited to have a cup of coffee and watch a movie this morning while LO was with DH in another room. Well LO starts screaming his head off and DH is shouting from the other room to "COME HERE NOW". I get in there and he's just sitting there watching LO scream his head off. He didn't try to get up and soothe him, bottle, pacifier, NOTHING. His excuse was that I said I had just fed him. Dude, I told you that TWO hours ago! So of course, as soon as I take LO and walk around and prep his bottle, totally fine. He even then fell asleep for his morning nap.
So basically, DH just didn't want to get up and stop watching his movie. Like, thanks for that. I do this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You couldn't handle 2 hours alone while I relaxed?? It was like he was just playing dumb like he hasn't been doing this for 10 weeks already. So annoyed. :-w
Disclaimer: DH is AMAZING with LO 99.9% of the time. I guess long weekends are just not his thing now that we have a baby. haha
Today I learned DH and I have very different ideas about what "taking the baby and letting me sleep" means. It's kind of flabbergasting to hear that phrase could be open for interpretation...?!?!
@virginiaunicorn11 I used to watch it all the time as a kid, my mom's 2 younger sisters were 11 and 16 when I was born and I used to watch it with them, didn't realize till I was older what it was actually about and how inappropriate it was.
ditto. I can't believe we were allowed to watch it!
@virginiaunicorn11 I used to watch it all the time when I was little. This is going to age me, but they had a rerelease for the 10 year anniversary when I was in high school. I was shocked about how my parents let me watch it! I loved Patrick Swayze and his Mom taught dance classes in my hometown!
It's 1am and DH is still up playing madden football. We stayed up late drinking and playing/singing songs on the piano, so I understand that he's still up. But, LO woke up an hour ago for a bottle. That cues me to go to bed no matter what time it is, but DH is still up. I told him, as long as he doesn't wake LO up and takes good care of her at night (he always does the overnight feeding) I don't care if he stays up a bit late. We'll see how this goes I guess.
Rave: DH took the middle of the night feeding two nights ago
Rant: DH has only taken one middle of the night feeding. Ever.
We are EBF... DH used to tell people the baby slept through the night. He said it around our parents, and we all have him so much crap about it that now he knows to answer the sleep question with, "Baby and mama wake every 2-3 hours, but I sleep through the night!" Smarter answer.
He will sometimes try to cuddle me or pat my leg or something if he wakes while I'm feeding the baby, "to provide support." It's a sweet thought so I don't want to tell him, but I can't stand being touched while nursing.
He also claims he "wishes he could help more" so sometimes I wonder if pumping bottles for the night time would be good... But seeing your post and others' makes me think it's maybe just going to set me up for disappointment.
I have a rave for the first time in a long time. DH and I are very quick to snap at each other, even for the tiniest thing. Two nights ago he told me we needed to have a serious talk and HE initiated a conversation about us not snapping at each other so much. He said we both needed to put in the effort to speak better to each other.
Wait!! So all this time he knew how to communicate???
Anyway. I'm super happy cause it was the first time he sat down to talk to me about something and actually talked and made sense.
And then yesterday he snapped at me and I said "you just snapped at me" and he got quiet for a second (I thought he was going to roll his eyes or huff and puff or something) and just said "I'm sorry I snapped at you" and changed his attitude to a better one. There might be hope for us yet!
@mvargas12 Yay! Sounds like he is finally realizing that being a family takes a lot of work!
One thing that I try to remind myself of often when things are stressful is that as the (adult) person I love the most and have chosen to spend my life with, my husband deserves more of my courtesy and respect than anyone else in the world. If it's something I wouldn't say or a tone I wouldn't take with some random stranger on the street then my husband definitely doesn't deserve it either. My parents don't have this kind of relationship (an understatement) so I struggle with just being nice to him sometimes but I keep trying.
I have to rave. My husband is a state trooper, and I assume most of you know the problems going on right now with law enforcement. This is one of the hardest and scariest times as a family but he still does his best to make us feel safe. I love him.
@ChardeeMacDennis that's a great thing to practice and keep in mind. It's tough when tired, overwhelmed, and so on, and my husband is the first one I take it out on.
Oh yeah, I'm an underage Dirty Dancing watcher too. In the scene when Penny's sick in bed after her back alley abortion she's wearing a necklace with a tiny pendant on her throat. Somehow I decided that she had a puncture wound on her throat and that's why everyone was so worried about her. My kids (2 and 4) haven't seen the movie yet but they recognize the soundtrack!
I have to rave. My husband is a state trooper, and I assume most of you know the problems going on right now with law enforcement. This is one of the hardest and scariest times as a family but he still does his best to make us feel safe. I love him.
Ugh I can't imagine this stress right now! We have a few family members in law enforcement but we live in Wisconsin so nothing has really happened here with that. Hopefully never does. They are calling us the "happy valley" because citizens are being more friendly towards them then ever. I hope this whole thing ends soon. Way too many deaths. It's so sad! Keeping your family in my thoughts too
Re: DH / SO rants or raves - Month of September
Message read:
Him: Want me to stop and pick up sushi? We can use bottles so you can have wine.
This is definitely a rave. I love that man!
I'm really proud of him
My rave is that he comes home every day, no matter how cranky I am, and tries to help out every way possible. He always makes sure I eat first, does dishes, bottles, or whatever I didn't get to during the day. He even takes care of LO if he wakes up at night so I can sleep. Even after having a baby and some days I act like the queen of hell, he still loves me, which is amazing.
He's also named LO's stuffed animals, and plays with LO and the toys very animatedly. When we are preparing the diaper bag, DH will say to me very seriously, "Did you pack Charlie?" (The stuffed bear. There is also a moose named Margot.)
The baby just adores his daddy, and looks around for him when DH leaves the room. We're so lucky to have this guy in our lives.
Oh how I've fallen back in love with you again.
DH hates musicals, so I rarely see those. Non-profit workers, teachers and military get heavily discounted Broadway tickets through a membership organization called TDF, so we used to go every month or so.
ETA: just saw you said you'd never seen Dirty Dancing. Omg! Sorry for long post, but have to share this:
When I was 5, my uncle gave me Cinderella for Christmas. I already had it, so he asked me what other movie wanted. I picked Dirty Dancing, which I'd seen during Friday Family Movie & Pizza Night. I just loved the dancing and music. I watched it so much, I memorized every line in the movie... But it wasn't til I re-watched it in high school that I realized what the ACTUAL story line is. And then sort of questioned my parents' judgment in letting me memorize that movie, lol
@virginiaunicorn11 I used to watch it all the time as a kid, my mom's 2 younger sisters were 11 and 16 when I was born and I used to watch it with them, didn't realize till I was older what it was actually about and how inappropriate it was.
Rant: DH watched LO for all of 60 minutes while I ran to the store to get something presentable to wear, and when I called him she was crying. I said "did she nap?" And he goes uhhh no. I said "did you put her down to nap?" Uhhh no. Literally we have been doing that pattern since 6 weeks old I don't get it. I come home and she looks like a tired zombie plus it's time to eat but won't eat because she's so tired. I also asked him to try and feed her a bottle and he said "well I want to go do some yard work". Cue my eyes rolling and saying REALLY, 20 MINUTES WILL THROW YA OFF?
Notice how my rant is so much longer than my rave. I swear...sometimes men are incapable of making connections. It makes leaving her in his care terrible because he doesn't do anything right except keep her alive.
Rant: DH has only taken one middle of the night feeding. Ever.
He will sometimes try to cuddle me or pat my leg or something if he wakes while I'm feeding the baby, "to provide support." It's a sweet thought so I don't want to tell him, but I can't stand being touched while nursing.
He also claims he "wishes he could help more" so sometimes I wonder if pumping bottles for the night time would be good... But seeing your post and others' makes me think it's maybe just going to set me up for disappointment.
Wait!! So all this time he knew how to communicate???
Anyway. I'm super happy cause it was the first time he sat down to talk to me about something and actually talked and made sense.
And then yesterday he snapped at me and I said "you just snapped at me" and he got quiet for a second (I thought he was going to roll his eyes or huff and puff or something) and just said "I'm sorry I snapped at you" and changed his attitude to a better one. There might be hope for us yet!
One thing that I try to remind myself of often when things are stressful is that as the (adult) person I love the most and have chosen to spend my life with, my husband deserves more of my courtesy and respect than anyone else in the world. If it's something I wouldn't say or a tone I wouldn't take with some random stranger on the street then my husband definitely doesn't deserve it either. My parents don't have this kind of relationship (an understatement) so I struggle with just being nice to him sometimes but I keep trying.
@mvargas12 glad for you!
Another Dirty Dancing watcher here! My cousin also showed me Pretty Woman when I was young. That one might be even worse!