Hey ladies! So I know it's been quite the weekend lol so I'm hoping this will help get things back to normal, if not then don't mind me and feel free to snark away
I'm wondering what everyone does to help get their SO in the mood when the time comes? My DH is a 1x/week kinda guy, two if I'm lucky! I've already talked to him about how when it does happen that we can't wait around if we want a baby. I think I may have added some pressure by doing that, so I wanna spice things up to try to make it more fun and take off some of that pressure! Ideas??? :x
Re: Getting DH in the mood!
@joleri23 we went through that about a year ago. I totally understand what you're dealing with! It's especially hard when TTC because the added pressure seems to make him in the mood less often [-( A while back I started not initiating and started letting him do all of that, and honestly it helped a lot! He said that by turning me down when not in the mood it made him feel much worse and less confident. Hopefully some of this helps!
**BTW the doctor didn't help at all for us. Not saying that it won't for you, just giving full disclosure
We love to use food & sensory play (textures/fabric). Some dirty talk & we bone like in college. Honestly, for us once the kids are asleep we are like, "let's do this thing!" )
DH knows the "TTC drill" & he actually thinks it's hot to try to impregnate me. So that helps us (vs. Adds pressure). So, we have a little bit of difference.
Good luck. We've been able to master The Sexy-Dirty Quicky so that we can get sleep/shower whatever to capitalize on the kids being asleep.
I've always wondered how moms of 3+ kids get KU because balancing all the needs of the kids & getting them all asleep to get busy takes some mad skills. :-bd
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
TTC- since we got married (off and on)
TTC with focus: Since July 2015
December 2015: Starting 1st IVF cycle
January 2016: Retrieval
March 2016: Pending Transfer (I have 3 PGS tested embryos waiting for a womb)
April 2016: BFP, the old fashioned way.
Add some cute matching lingerie & heels-- he will be falling over himself to get you in bed... Or on the floor... Table...
Sadly, we have to reserve this one for date night when the kids are at a drop in or we can get a hotel.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
TTC- since we got married (off and on)
TTC with focus: Since July 2015
December 2015: Starting 1st IVF cycle
January 2016: Retrieval
March 2016: Pending Transfer (I have 3 PGS tested embryos waiting for a womb)
April 2016: BFP, the old fashioned way.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OTQnUTgLssI
I have found in the past that if we wait until our usual bedtime one of us is often too tired, so during our fw I'll take him upstairs right when we get home from work so tiredness isn't an issue
DX - MFI Antibodies, High DNA fragmentation
IUI #1 November 2015 - 0% Motility
IVF #2 May 2016 - (FAIL/25 eggs, 1 5BB xx, PGS abnormal)
TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow
He still thinks we're all crazy and that it'll just happen whenever. What do they teach men in Sex Ed anyway?? We're on month 4 so it's not been too difficult yet, but this month he is going to be gone a lot. Don't think any outfits will help us this month!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
TTC- since we got married (off and on)
TTC with focus: Since July 2015
December 2015: Starting 1st IVF cycle
January 2016: Retrieval
March 2016: Pending Transfer (I have 3 PGS tested embryos waiting for a womb)
April 2016: BFP, the old fashioned way.
I turn to my girlfriends when I need an in person chat to share details with. We're all interested in this stage of life, so they're okay with discussing it!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
penelope4612 rings true for me being the one with the low sex drive in the relationship. I would be perfectly happy with 2x a week. I will say that Penelope hit the nail on the head with having a discussion about what affects his libido and what does/doesn't work for him. If I have a bad day at work, family stress, a lot of things on my to-do list etc. then I'm most likely going to shoot DH down. TTC has been actually really great for our sex life as it's forced me and DH to talk about my low sex drive and ways we can work on it together because it is absolutely a team approach IMO.
You have to find out what works/what will help him get in the mood. I know personally I need at least 2 hours after work of ME TIME to decompress and relax. DH knows that if he draws me a bath, gives me a glass of wine and leaves me alone for an hour I will jump his bones no problem. I am like most men I know in that I didn't want to talk about this stuff with DH at first but the more patient and understanding he has been the more I've come out of my shell.
Edit: spelling and tag
I feel for you - a similar sex drive was a MUST for me! My husband is the best ever...
This may be an UO, but ttc sex is the BEST. We have been using condoms and I hate those things so much! Plus BC lowers my sex drive...
HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!)
CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors!
SA - sperm count excellent, 2% Morphology
March/April IUI scheduled - surprise BFP w/ help of Progesterone - 3/18/2016
Beta #1 @ 11dpo - 45.7 #2 @ 14dpo - 163 #3 @ 18dpo - 997 #4 @ 21dpo - 3799
EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).
*TEAM BLUE!*
TTC- since we got married (off and on)
TTC with focus: Since July 2015
December 2015: Starting 1st IVF cycle
January 2016: Retrieval
March 2016: Pending Transfer (I have 3 PGS tested embryos waiting for a womb)
April 2016: BFP, the old fashioned way.
I pretty much just force myself on DH.
To the rest of you awesome gals, I tried a little bit of everyone's advice and still didn't work DH couldn't finish the deed tonight (which is the first time that's ever happened). He got super upset and went to sleep w/out talking. Anyways, hopefully he feels better tomorrow! And thanks again to everyone for the tips, I really appreciate it!