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February 2016 Moms
graceinchaos
member
You may have a definition.
graceinchaos
member
So, I've noticed a lot of newcomers throwing around very strong words in regards to regs redirecting their posts, etc. When I see the words some of these people are choosing, it makes me sad, and if I'm honest, a little more than a little irritated. The women I have directly encountered on this board have been nothing short of WONDERFUL (etc, etc 
) It bothers me when people try to say otherwise.
) It bothers me when people try to say otherwise.So, for your pleasure and convenience...below is a list of the commonly offensive words that you may need to rethink when using them in a sentence.
bully - a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
bullying - to intimidate, domineer
harass/harassing - to disturb persistently; torment, as with troubles or cares; bother continually; pester; persecute
harassment - the act or instance of harassing; or disturbing, pestering, or troubling repeatedly; persecution
(Did I miss any??)
***It is worth noting, these are the words that, when used incorrectly, drive regs & folks like me (attempting to be a reg...do people like me get a name?) CRAZY.
It seems a few of the newcomers feel intimidated by regs. A couple things to remember...there are pinned posts at the top of this board for a reason. Those posts are not to intimidate you, or anything like that. They are there to help YOU understand how this board works. If reading those posts still leaves you wondering what this board is like, take a minute and read through some of the posts (this is what we mean when we say lurk). This board has so many wonderful women on it, and it's fun to go through pregnancy with them by your side. They are great for a laugh, immediate to support, and helpful when the need arises. When someone redirects your post regarding things like ultrasounds, movement, bumps, etc. it's not because they are harassing you or bullying you. (If you reread those definitions above, you'll see what I mean there.) Regs discourage repeat threads because it buries other posts that don't have specific threads already dedicated to those topics.
That's all I have to say about that for now. So newcomers, we welcome you, but don't call us bullies or tell us we are harassing you for simple redirection, etc.
ETA:
A few more things that I kind of forgot about, in my excitement to post this...
- Gender vs Sex - just don't. Or if you do, let's get this straight now, so we can avoid repeated discussions on the topic. Gender = a choice, your own personal identification. Sex = biological. @acuteangles put it so simply & in such understanding terms that I'm going to copy what she said right here. "I think there is such an important distinction here that is worth recognizing. By using sex (biological) and gender (personal identification) interchangeably, we are implying that they are one in the same, and that you are defined by your biology, which we know is not true. There are countless ways to be a human being and express yourself. Gender is not binary."
- Honesty, expressing your opinion, stating scientific facts is NOT rudeness. When you enter a forum, and post anything, you're opening up a discussion. If you don't want real input, you may want to reconsider posting. (See above re: lurking, knowing when to post, etc.)
Happy October 
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Emmett Austin Langford, born sleeping 2.25.15
"Once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
|| The Velveteen Rabbit ||
>>> BFP 6.6.15, Rainbow due 2.6.15! <<<
>>We are Team Pink!<<
I write over at Grace In Chaos.
Re: You may have a definition.
Baby F.......02/02/2016
Feb16 August Siggy Challenge
Favorite TV Mom
@DrillSergeantCat I love your name change!
Edit typo
BFP 12/31/14, EDD 9/08/14 ~ Natural M/C 2/21/14 at 11.5 weeks
BFP 5/24/15 - EDD 2/4/16
So much yes to all of this. I'd never side-eye someone for using the wrong terminology, but continuing to do so after being asked to change, or to argue that you shouldn't be corrected because you're more comfortable using the wrong word, just screams ignorance to me. Society changes over time, and is helped along by people who refuse to let ignorance win.
Also, I think it helps to remember that this is a community and not a Google search bar. Use the same etiquette you would with a group of friends!
BFP 12/31/14, EDD 9/08/14 ~ Natural M/C 2/21/14 at 11.5 weeks
BFP 5/24/15 - EDD 2/4/16
@graceinchaos Thank you for taking this approach. The "bully" one seriously irks me. People, please don't throw that word around carelessly while so many sweet kids out there are dealing with real bullying.
I'm JK I love ya'll equally!
I tell my high school students that I don't have favorites, I hate them all equally. It usually gets a laugh or two.
I tell my high school students that I don't have favorites, I hate them all equally. It usually gets a laugh or two.
I tell the agents on my team that I have a new favorite whenever one of them does something really awesome or gives me food haha
DS - 22 Months 1/29/16
Here is a great visual that might help!
Male: a person bearing an X and Y chromosome pair in the cell nuclei and normally having a penis, scrotum, and testicles, and developing hair on the face at adolescence; a boy or man.
Female: a person bearing two X chromosomes in the cell nuclei and normally having a vagina, a uterus and ovaries, and developing at puberty a relatively rounded body and enlarged breasts, and retaining a beardless face; a girl or woman.
If my baby is a male, that will be his gender, if a female, that will be her gender. Did I miss something here?
Baby F.......02/02/2016
----------------EDIT QUOTE FAIL----------------------
Not necessarily. That's why it's important to be aware and respectful of the terminology. Some people are born with sex traits of a man but identify as a woman (gender), and vice versa. While probably most people's sex and gender are the same (I don't know the exact statistics, I'm sorry), a lot of people feel that theirs aren't, and people purposefully conflating the two terms can be very marginalizing.