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September 2015 Moms
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So people say when the time comes, "you will know"....

kkerner87kkerner87 member
in September 2015 Moms
But ugh... I'm a FTM and feel so clueless to all this stuff. I've been having pre-labor contractions since week 35 and I feel like they're just so strong and all the time now, I don't know if I should go to the hospital. I'm 38+2, almost 3cm dilated and 75% effaced on Thursday and lost my plug on Friday. Getting contractions from pretty much walking from the car to my door. Every night I think "okay, this is it". "this shit hurts". But they never get worse, just stay pretty uncomfortable. Almost like a really, really bad first day of menstrual cycle. I guess I'm just frustrated because I feel like I could end uo giving birth in my office chair because I'm expecting to have this clear moment where " I will know" as they say...
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Re: So people say when the time comes, "you will know"....

  • lovesgummieslovesgummies member
    How long do they last and how far apart are they? Call your doctor to see what they suggest but I think many doctors recommend the 5-1-1 before going to the hospital. 5 minutes apart, one minute long for an hour.
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  • kkerner87kkerner87 member
    That's why i have not gone. They're so inconsistent and all over the place. But they just feel like they're there all the time. Or maybe my body is just so tense and achy ( ihave a really stiff and sore lower back). I also feel like they kind of act like a girdle. They tighten and tense. But still hard to time, so I have not gone to the hospital. I just feel like I won't know when the time comes... Idk maybe it's a FTM fear lol.
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  • theglitteredpterodactyltheglitteredpterodactyl member
    I have really bad (and completely irrational) anxiety about having false alarm trips to the hospital. Part of me is worried I'll end up giving birth at home from being so obstinate. I mean I've told my partner this concern, lol, and he really doesn't want to go through that so I'm sure between the two of us I'll get to the hospital in time but I definitely feel you about the whole how will I know fear!
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  • kkerner87kkerner87 member
    Plus I don't want to down play the pain (if that is possible). Everyone says it's the worst pain of your life. Kind of like what people told me when I got my wisdom teeth removed. So i expected the worst and honestly, it wasn't what people made it out to be. Not saying that wisdom teeth removal is comprable to contractions, but you get what I mean. I guess everyone has a diff level of pain tolerance. so what if i get these horrible god awful contractions, but think "well they're going to be worse than this, I will hold off going to the hospital".... I just really have no clue lol.
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    kkerner87 said:

    Plus I don't want to down play the pain (if that is possible). Everyone says it's the worst pain of your life. Kind of like what people told me when I got my wisdom teeth removed. So i expected the worst and honestly, it wasn't what people made it out to be. Not saying that wisdom teeth removal is comprable to contractions, but you get what I mean. I guess everyone has a diff level of pain tolerance. so what if i get these horrible god awful contractions, but think "well they're going to be worse than this, I will hold off going to the hospital".... I just really have no clue lol.

    Yes!! 100%! There's been a few post on here where women were having normal NST's done and their doctors had to point out they were having contractions every 2-3 mins apart and they had no idea! So scary
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  • kkerner87kkerner87 member
    Or even like when I picked out my wedding dress. People would tell me "When it's the one, you will know". Nope, bitch. I didn't. I found one i thought I looked hott in and gave my charge card. Never had this moment of emotion and clarity. Again, i know it's comparing apples to oranges, but I guess my issue lies with in my instincts. The only that gives me comfort is I knew I was pregnant at 4 weeks before I took any kind of pregnancy test or had any symptoms..... While I sit here now, I can feel my back muscles tensing and releasing and have my "menstrual cramps" as I call them and I feel like I could puke all over my desk....
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  • RachelsbabyRachelsbaby member
    It's sound like labor is right around the corner. I would start keeping track 5-1-1 or 4-1-1 method. My 1st I was actually at the dr's that afternoon dr told me I was not dilated and told me it was Braxson hicks at 11pm I lost mucus plug went to hospital and was 6cm dilated already. If that would have not happened I prolly would have gave birth at home because dr told me it was just braxon hicks and not dilated. If those "menstrual cramps" are consistent don't second guess just go right to hospital. The worst that will happen is they send you home but it sound like this baby is coming very very soon.
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  • ElleKHElleKH member
    @kkerner87 - You might want to think about heading to the hospital, babe.  Not everyone has textbook contractions, so yours might have a pattern all their own.  Everything else you're describing sounds like labor.  Better to know for sure, right?  Best of luck to you!
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  • kkerner87kkerner87 member
    Every time I think "This is it. I'm going to go to the hospital", They suddenly seem to die down. I just don't want hubby to leave work and drive all the way to the hospital for nothing. I know they will ask me how far apart they are and I honestly don't know how to answer. It just always hurts and sometimes it hurts more than other times. I guess if they keep up, I will have to force myself to really figure out a pattern and how to time.

    So what is the 5-1-1 rule? 5 contractions one minute apart for 1 hour?
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  • kkerner87kkerner87 member
    oh nvm. I read the 5-1-1 rule up top. thanks!
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  • ElleKHElleKH member
    kkerner87 said:

    So what is the 5-1-1 rule? 5 contractions one minute apart for 1 hour?
    You got it.  Make sure you time from the beginning of one contraction to the beginning of the next.
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  • irenejeanirenejean member
    Yep, that's the 5-1-1 rule, and the timing is from the beginning of one to the beginning of the next one.
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  • wannabeamongoosewannabeamongoose member
    I have a friend who had ongoing preterm contractions for 3 weeks before going into active labor. Usually got stronger at night, she would start to feel like "ok this is it" but it wouldn't ever get consistent enough to warrant a trip to hospital. OB kept a good eye on her and let her know that there was no need to worry. It sucked the life out of her constantly feeling like it was time and then realizing it really wasn't. The good news is that when she did go into active labor, it was really short. Baby came fast and was healthy as could be.

    **TW**
    Me & DH: 32
    Married 2013
    Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
    BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30

    "I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
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  • jabeauty90jabeauty90 member
    With my first, on his EDD, I woke up when horrible cramping pains and figured I would take a shower. In the shower they got stronger and that's when I knew. :)
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  • kkerner87kkerner87 member
    Lizlann said:
    I have a friend who had ongoing preterm contractions for 3 weeks before going into active labor. Usually got stronger at night, she would start to feel like "ok this is it" but it wouldn't ever get consistent enough to warrant a trip to hospital. OB kept a good eye on her and let her know that there was no need to worry. It sucked the life out of her constantly feeling like it was time and then realizing it really wasn't. The good news is that when she did go into active labor, it was really short. Baby came fast and was healthy as could be.


    This is EXACTLY me.
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  • CRooney89CRooney89 member
    @kkerner87 I feel the same way!!!!!!!! I have been having painful and irregular cramps/contractions since the weekend, and each time they start up they seem stronger and more painful than before, and every time they start up I'm like "okay maybe this is it!" But they always die down. Everyone says "you will know when it's time" but I feel the exact same way you do I'm just nervous what if I don't know?! I always thought your water breaking was a sure sign of labor but since becoming pregnant I've learned that a lot of women have their water broken at the hospital. Hopefully the saying is true and we will "just know" when the time comes. It sounds like you are close so I wish you luck!!!!
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  • EarcarEarcar member
    If you have a smart phone, there are a lot of contraction timers. They are actually quite helpful. I'm in the same boat. Just when I think they are starting to form some pattern they stop. It sucks, it makes me grumpy and so uncomfortable all the time! And on a side note, if you go in and get monitored, you should have time for the doctor to let you know if it's real or not before your husband would have to join you :)
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  • EarcarEarcar member
    @kkerner87 when are you due? And when is your next appointment?
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  • kkerner87kkerner87 member
    @Earcar Due date is Aug 31st next appointment is Friday!
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  • EarcarEarcar member
    Ohhhh you're so close!!! I'm not due until September 24. I honestly think the mental game of "is this it?!" Is one of the hardest parts about being pregnant. Hang in there, have a nice bath and do your best to relax. I know that it's impossible to completely relax haha.
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  • MommyandBryceMommyandBryce member
    kkerner87 said:
    Every time I think "This is it. I'm going to go to the hospital", They suddenly seem to die down. I just don't want hubby to leave work and drive all the way to the hospital for nothing. I know they will ask me how far apart they are and I honestly don't know how to answer. It just always hurts and sometimes it hurts more than other times. I guess if they keep up, I will have to force myself to really figure out a pattern and how to time.

    So what is the 5-1-1 rule? 5 contractions one minute apart for 1 hour?


    --I am only 35.4 weeks and I am dealing with the exact same thing!! I used to have the BH contractions that didn't have any pain, but only had the tightening. I was not able to time those contractions. Yesterday I started having the BH tightening of my whole stomach, but the pain was also in my back, hips, and ribs. I still couldn't figure out how to time them!! I am so nervous that I will not be able to know when the time is right to go to the hospital. I have already had the "lightening" pain in my lower abdomen that some women describe as stabbing with a knife, I still stayed at work and acted like everything was okay. I am nervous that I won't be able to know what the REAL pain and contractions feel like.

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  • aharders89aharders89 member
    I think another rule of thumb for contractions- other than the 511 rule- is that if you can't continue doing your normal activities during them, you should go to the hospital. My doctor said sometimes waiting until 511 isn't a good plan. So if you can't comfortably walk and talk during the contraction, it might be time to go! She also said that sometimes all if feels like it's menstrual cramps at first, but they're true contractions! Good luck!
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  • nbuzardnbuzard member
    They will become more consistent and painful, even when resting. There was no doubt once I was in real labor with my daughter, but everyone's different.
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  • ABombard12ABombard12 member
    I am so glad someone posted this thread! I keep getting told "oh you'll know. I don't care how high your pain tolerance is, you'll know."  But then I read all these stories of people not really knowing and then bam in L&D.  I am about 40 mins away from hospital so I keep trying to time the contractions I am having (or what I think are contractions) and its so hard. Then I get told oh well once its real contractions they will be able to be tracked... I have been cramping for a week now... I now have an NST tomorrow morning and they will be checking me... my hope is they tell me to go to L&D and I get to start the process to see my LO and stop all this worrying about what I am feeling all day.. is this it? was that it?? whats that?  so hard not knowing.....and everyone being different makes it that much harder.
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  • nursekatie47nursekatie47 member
    Follow the 5-1-1 rule regardless if you think they are contractions or not. Anything timeable and consistent that fits the 5-1-1 rule is something to take seriously. My contractions don't really hurt and only get uncomfortable when I'm 6 cm dilated or more.
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  • Cnesvig32Cnesvig32 member
    I remember with my 3rd (I was induced with my first 2) every night id go to bed thinking that was the night. Well the one night without any symptoms ended up being the next early morning delivery. I woke up around 400am with a really bad stomach ache. Got up went to the bathroom back to bed. Stomach didn't go away. Then something clicked telling me that it was prob labor pains. Our daughter was born just a few hours later!! We live an hour from the hospital so I'm always guessing should we go, is this real? So frustrating!! Good luck to you!!!
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  • bracybabiesbracybabies member
    5-1-1 is a little different than above...
    5 minutes BETWEEN contractions that LAST one minute, this pattern happening for an hour.
    I just don't want you to wait until your contractions are one minute apart, because thats push time. Just to clarify.
    Every 5 minutes, not every one minute.
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  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    I'm guilty of saying this! I'd suggest maybe watching some natural drug-free birth videos. Even if you're not choosing to have a drug-free birth because when you go into labor on your own you won't have any drugs at your house, so check out how these women are acting during contractions.

    Okay if you start zoning out during them and can't focus, walk or talk through contractions, and it's following the timing rule, you are definitely in labor. You may be super sleepy between them. You may feel or say irrational things that don't make sense (like someone I knew refused to put pants on when her husband said he was taking her to the hospital).

    Prodromal labor can last weeks and it really sucks. You can slip from practice contractions to the real deal without any other warning. Just keep paying attention and you know it's rare for a FTM to have baby on the roadside.
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  • ymcadanceymcadance member
    I felt the same way as you last pregnancy! I know everyone is completely different, and that is what makes everything so hard. I have an insanely high pain tolerance, and kept fearing that I would not know. I was five days late, and all five of those days I had contractions on and off- some painful, some not. I did have that "this is it" moment though on the day I had him. The pain is just such a different pain, that is why I think so many women say "you will know." I cant describe the pain, it just basically took my breath away and the ability to speak... Sorry, I am probably not helping at all. I do want to say, even though it really was the worst pain I have ever felt (wisdom teeth are nothing!) I am sooo excited about going into labor again. Sounds crazy, I know, but I loved the entire experience. Best wishes, I think you are on your way :-D 
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  • ElleKHElleKH member
    Thanks for clarifying, @bracybabies!
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  • PreggersinParisPreggersinParis member
    Oh man, I had a scare last night. I was having painful (but not earth-shattering) contractions on my right side every thirty minutes, so I called the hospital. It turned out to be constipation contractions (have you ever heard of such a thing?) and she recommended a doliprane and two Pamprin type pills which took care of the bloating and cramping, and I fell right to sleep. But I have to say in that moment, I did not "just know" I was really confused, uncomfortable and scared. Maybe when it's the real thing, we will just know. Here's hoping!
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  • dmland17dmland17 member
    So apparently the 5-1-1 rule is pretty common. My doc told me to wait until my contractions are only 3 minutes apart for at least 2 hours before going in, so more like a 3-1-2 rule. I have an unusually high pain tolerance and I'm also scared I don't realize what's happening as a FTM. I also live almost an hour from the hospital and my husband is already nervous about a car birth!  
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  • eah325eah325 member
    PreggersinParis said:

    Oh man, I had a scare last night. I was having painful (but not earth-shattering) contractions on my right side every thirty minutes, so I called the hospital. It turned out to be constipation contractions (have you ever heard of such a thing?) and she recommended a doliprane and two Pamprin type pills which took care of the bloating and cramping, and I fell right to sleep. But I have to say in that moment, I did not "just know" I was really confused, uncomfortable and scared. Maybe when it's the real thing, we will just know. Here's hoping!

    I think I'm experiencing this tonight... I am miserable. I feel so bloated and in pain. What is doliprane?
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  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    dmland17 said:

    So apparently the 5-1-1 rule is pretty common. My doc told me to wait until my contractions are only 3 minutes apart for at least 2 hours before going in, so more like a 3-1-2 rule. I have an unusually high pain tolerance and I'm also scared I don't realize what's happening as a FTM. I also live almost an hour from the hospital and my husband is already nervous about a car birth!  

    Does doc know you're an hour away? I'll be honest, laboring in the car sucks. I'd probably stick with 5-1-1 to head out. About 12 contractions to get through compared to 20!
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  • sidskinnersidskinner member
    Ive thought the same thing! I had to be monitored over night two weeks ago for a car accident and i was having contractions and never once felt them. Makea you wonder but im honestly hoping my water breaks so ill know its that time!
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  • MiromiMMiromiM member
    I actually just got back from the hospital (false alarm). This evening I suddenly had cramping, severe back pain, and 4-6 contractions in an hour (I usually only notice 3-4 in a day). None of which I've had before now. I called my OB office and the after hours nurse said to go. Well the head nurse at the hospital told me off. She said that I wasn't "really in pain" and to just "take some tylenol and if that doesn't work then you know you're really in labor".
    *Siggy Warning*

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