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In-law/Family Issues?

ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
in August 2015 Moms
Anyone else having issues with in-laws or family?
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Re: In-law/Family Issues?

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  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    My LO is 5 days old. We recently started talking to the in-laws again after a separation. My MIL has already been quick to act like nothing happened and has already given me some wonderful advice including that I should not be letting LO sleep during the day so he can sleep through the night. She also told me that I should be putting rice cereal in his milk so he can sleep. Again he is 5 days old

    Then the in-laws came over yesterday and SIL from out of town was in and held LO most of the time. When someone asked her if they could hold LO instead she had the nerve to say that "I won't get to see LO much so this is about me." Ahhhh

    Fortunately when SIL called to see if see could stop in to see LO today DH backed me up in saying no. Even when she started whining about how she doesn't know when she will see LO next
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  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    I would have DH have a chat with them and explain that you guys are trying to make this relationship work after (xyz, whatever led to the separation), but they need to respect boundaries and understand that this is your baby and you will raise him as you see fit. I would have him remind them that you don't need unsolicited advice, you get they are trying to be helpful, but it is just causing unnecessary stress at this point. And then maybe set some visitation boundaries.
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  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    Miz_Liz said:

    I would have DH have a chat with them and explain that you guys are trying to make this relationship work after (xyz, whatever led to the separation), but they need to respect boundaries and understand that this is your baby and you will raise him as you see fit. I would have him remind them that you don't need unsolicited advice, you get they are trying to be helpful, but it is just causing unnecessary stress at this point. And then maybe set some visitation boundaries.

    Fortunately he talked to a guy friend who is a dad who told him just that and that helped my husband understand the importance of boundaries and sticking to them. Otherwise I fear he would give into the pressure
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  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    It is always hard when it is family and I think a lot of guys would rather ignore it than tackle it head on when it comes to their family. They seem to be able to just let it roll off their back easier, but if you have a serious talk with him about how much it bothers you and how important it is that you two are a united front and his family doesn't have an impact on YOUR relationship, hopefully he will get it. Glad his friend helped him see the light too.
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  • candicejeff2013candicejeff2013 member
    MIL is flying in town after baby Q is born. She is super sweet but one of those OVERLY helpful mil's ...one that doesn't let me step foot in my own kitchen when she's here. I'm kind of afraid she is going to try and tend to the baby the whole time and tell hubby and I to " go enjoy yourselves..." Um. NO. Back off. Let me take care of my child as I will never get these moments back. You can cook and clean if you'd like. That would be helpful. I'm just not sure how I will hold my ground if this does actually happen.
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    edited August 2015
    Just found out my MIL and half brother in law (same mom different dad) are coming to visit the same weekend DSD will be meeting LO for the first time. My MIL is okay she annoys DH and I to no end but she means well. But my BIL is a felon, high school drop out, and all around horrible influence. I'm not pleased....
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  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    @candicejeff2013 the nice thing is if you are BF'ing, you can always use that as an excuse to take the baby into another room and have some alone time. Especially in the beginning when they eat soooooo often. @nakoppel I wouldn't be too pleased either, but at least baby isn't impressionable at first so they can't pick up on any of his bad habits, etc. and hopefully as baby gets older he won't be around as much.
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  • cseley321cseley321 member
    I actually really like my in-laws and enjoy their company, but right now my husband is not on speaking terms with them.  They all got into a silly argument back on July 3rd and he hasn't spoken to them since.  So right now I'm basically playing messenger between them and us.  Thankfully he has agreed to call them to the hospital when I'm about to deliver so they can still see the baby.  I hope everything blows over after that.
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    @Miz_Liz very true Im more annoyed at the extra house guests. Augusf 25-1 we are having our best friends and their baby, then my family comes 29-sept 11 (they however are not staying at our house, then sept 18 we get DSD and MIL/BIL. I also don't like BIL around my step daughter
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  • archetypeblondearchetypeblonde member
    I have a hard time communicating with MIL in general because she speaks Korean and her English is a little broken. She buys me clothes all the time for my pregnancy, and they are all in a size XL. You guys I am 115 and 5'6" when not pregnant, and I have only gained 20-25 lbs all in the belly. I'm still a size small! She expects me to wear these giant outfits in public around her but I feel so fat in them! I obviously can't tell her how I feel because I'm grateful for her thinking of me at all but I just broke down crying in the xl dress in front of SO, asking him if his mom thought I was fat. I wore a belt under my boobs so I didn't feel like a giant marshmallow and sure enough she told me to take the belt off because the dress was supposed to be worn by itself. SO reminded her that I'm still not a large and the belt makes it "fit" better. Thank god for him.
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  • countryrhodes90countryrhodes90 member
    As always, miz liz has good advice! Thankfully my inlaws are ok for the most part, they can grate on my nerves sometimes but who doesn't at this point.... :)) my main complaint about them is they are always sharing their germs with me! I've been sick three times during this pregnancy and it's always been from them!! I told my husband I'm not going to any more family gatherings without a bucket of hand sanitizer!!
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  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    nakoppel said:

    Just found out my MIL and half brother in law (same mom different dad) are coming to visit the same weekend DSD will be meeting LO for the first time. My MIL is okay she annoys DH and I to no end but she means well. But my BIL is a felon, high school drop out, and all around horrible influence. I'm not pleased....

    This would annoy me. How does your DH feel about it? Is it an issue that matters enough to you to stand your ground on?
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  • HarleenQuinz86HarleenQuinz86 member
    I see the need to shut myself and baby in my room once DS is born... my boyfriends mom lives with us and is already planning with her family some kind of party after the baby is born where I will be able to drink this time since I couldn't at the baby shower and everyone can meet the baby... except that I'm planning on BFing so.... yeah. Also as I get further along in pregnancy I find myself more easily annoyed by her need to "baby" my boyfriend. He is 28 damn years old if he's hungry he will eat he doesn't need you to cook for him or clean his clothes or any of the millions of things that have been getting under my skin lately.
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    ChristyM87 said:
    Just found out my MIL and half brother in law (same mom different dad) are coming to visit the same weekend DSD will be meeting LO for the first time. My MIL is okay she annoys DH and I to no end but she means well. But my BIL is a felon, high school drop out, and all around horrible influence. I'm not pleased....
    This would annoy me. How does your DH feel about it? Is it an issue that matters enough to you to stand your ground on?

    My DH feels he can keep his brother in line. I can't exactly say no they can't come when my family is coming for two weeks. I just feel a little stuck honestly. I feel as though if I say something I look like I'm attempting to exclude his family
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  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    edited August 2015
    nakoppel said:


    ChristyM87 said:

    nakoppel said:

    Just found out my MIL and half brother in law (same mom different dad) are coming to visit the same weekend DSD will be meeting LO for the first time. My MIL is okay she annoys DH and I to no end but she means well. But my BIL is a felon, high school drop out, and all around horrible influence. I'm not pleased....

    This would annoy me. How does your DH feel about it? Is it an issue that matters enough to you to stand your ground on?



    My DH feels he can keep his brother in line. I can't exactly say no they can't come when my family is coming for two weeks. I just feel a little stuck honestly. I feel as though if I say something I look like I'm attempting to exclude his family

    ------------------------
    You can absolutely say something, especially if reasons like his criminal past are a big deal to you. My FIL has a history of physical abuse so I have told DH that I am staying firm on FIL and MIL not babysitting
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    I just spoke with him about it. My biggest concern is theft. My DH said he's talked to him about it and it won't happen. I guess I have to trust him that it won't happen. The only reason he is coming is my MIL can't drive long distances on her own because of her medication for her seizures.
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  • mariafordonmariafordon member
    No issues really but I am kind of nervous about MIL coming to stay. When we moved out to California from Michigan SO didn't think she would want fly out here(we now live close to her ex-husband, plus it's hard for her to get the time off work, pay for a ticket, ect) and that we would just make a trip home a few months after LO is born to meet everyone. She mentioned recently though that she was going to come but we don't know for sure when yet.
    We've never had any issues and I did enjoy spending time with her before we left but I just don't know her very well. I'm trying to be optimistic but I know we have very different parenting philosophies and having people in my home 24/7 kind of stresses me out anyway. Also she has a tendency to pick on my SO but he's really laid back and doesn't let it get to him. I think it bothers me a lot more than him.
    Anyway I'm really just hoping she waits a while to come so we can get into a groove as a new family and feel confident with our decisions no matter what she thinks.
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  • raelynch87raelynch87 member
    DH's stepmom is very controlling and manipulative. She has been a part of his life since he was 4 so she considers herself his mother and will often try to punish DH's bio mom for leaving DH's dad 30+ years ago. We were going to have both sets of parents (dad & stepmom, mom & step dad) in town for the birth but step MIL threw a huge tantrum saying FIL would be so hurt and they just wouldn't be there. She really sounded like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I said that's fine no one would be in town then and she could visit when LO is a week old. That REALLY upset her but I don't care. This about my baby, my husband and me. Even after that she still does stuff like send DH articles about not having guns in the house even though he only has one hunting rifle (that was a gift from his step dad) locked in a gun safe. She also thinks we should take out a line of credit to remodel our kitchen even though we keep telling we don't believe in taking on debt and our kitchen is fine. She is constantly putting one of us down or putting down our house or how we choose to live. DH told me that he wants take back her invitation and the only reason he isn't is because he is trying to keep the peace.
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  • pabeybabypabeybaby member
    Mines long, sorry.

    I've got a ton of never ending crap in both my family and with my in-laws. I wish so badly (I know this sounds awful) that my parents would get divorced and move the hell on with their lives and stop putting me in the middle. Neither of them ever have anything good to say about one another, and they're only together for the wrong reasons. My dads wanting to push my mom off onto me for a while to "help out" with things around the house because "it'll make her feel better". Um, how about no. Apparently she's got some kinda hormonal thing going on (she hit menopause years ago so idk what this is), and I'm still pregnant, and that would just be a bomb waiting to go off. Plus she gets on my nerves anyway because she keeps trying to change things around my house to suit herself. Or she complains about something about my house. She only wants to eat fast food too, then complains about how fat she is.

    Then my SIL is dating this guy who's a druggie and he's very verbally violent, and MIL lives with them. MIL calls my hubby often to complain about how the guy is stealing from her but she never does anything about it. The house they're renting is in her name but she won't kick him out or call the cops or anything. Hubby and I can't really do anything and there's no room for her to stay with us. SIL and her boyfriend have a baby together which doesn't help either. I feel bad for the kid.

    Can I move far far away now? [-O<
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  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    pabeybaby said:

    Mines long, sorry.

    I've got a ton of never ending crap in both my family and with my in-laws. I wish so badly (I know this sounds awful) that my parents would get divorced and move the hell on with their lives and stop putting me in the middle. Neither of them ever have anything good to say about one another, and they're only together for the wrong reasons. My dads wanting to push my mom off onto me for a while to "help out" with things around the house because "it'll make her feel better". Um, how about no. Apparently she's got some kinda hormonal thing going on (she hit menopause years ago so idk what this is), and I'm still pregnant, and that would just be a bomb waiting to go off. Plus she gets on my nerves anyway because she keeps trying to change things around my house to suit herself. Or she complains about something about my house. She only wants to eat fast food too, then complains about how fat she is.

    Then my SIL is dating this guy who's a druggie and he's very verbally violent, and MIL lives with them. MIL calls my hubby often to complain about how the guy is stealing from her but she never does anything about it. The house they're renting is in her name but she won't kick him out or call the cops or anything. Hubby and I can't really do anything and there's no room for her to stay with us. SIL and her boyfriend have a baby together which doesn't help either. I feel bad for the kid.

    Can I move far far away now? [-O<

    This sounds terrible. I am so sorry for you
    And I don't blame you for wanting your to divorce, not everyone is meant to be married forever. MIL would definitely be happier if she divorced FIL but she lacks the balls to follow through with her threats and thoughts of divorce
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  • SassetteSmurflingSassetteSmurfling member
    MIL and FIL always piss me off, but tonight my complaint is about DH's aunt. She asked if she could come over around 4 today to meet the baby. We said okay. I woke the baby up around 315 to feed her, even though it wasn't really "time" for her to eat, but I like to be done feeding her when we're expecting people so that they can see her and hold her and all. Well she shows up at 7:45! My older two are just getting out of the bath and ready for their 8 o'clock bed time. I was planning on feeding baby at 8. Aunt brings her two kids with her so of course my two want to play with them instead of go to bed. They stay until 9 o'clock. Like really!? Get out!
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  • pabeybabypabeybaby member
    ChristyM87 said:

    pabeybaby said:

    Mines long, sorry.

    I've got a ton of never ending crap in both my family and with my in-laws. I wish so badly (I know this sounds awful) that my parents would get divorced and move the hell on with their lives and stop putting me in the middle. Neither of them ever have anything good to say about one another, and they're only together for the wrong reasons. My dads wanting to push my mom off onto me for a while to "help out" with things around the house because "it'll make her feel better". Um, how about no. Apparently she's got some kinda hormonal thing going on (she hit menopause years ago so idk what this is), and I'm still pregnant, and that would just be a bomb waiting to go off. Plus she gets on my nerves anyway because she keeps trying to change things around my house to suit herself. Or she complains about something about my house. She only wants to eat fast food too, then complains about how fat she is.

    Then my SIL is dating this guy who's a druggie and he's very verbally violent, and MIL lives with them. MIL calls my hubby often to complain about how the guy is stealing from her but she never does anything about it. The house they're renting is in her name but she won't kick him out or call the cops or anything. Hubby and I can't really do anything and there's no room for her to stay with us. SIL and her boyfriend have a baby together which doesn't help either. I feel bad for the kid.

    Can I move far far away now? [-O<

    This sounds terrible. I am so sorry for you
    And I don't blame you for wanting your to divorce, not everyone is meant to be married forever. MIL would definitely be happier if she divorced FIL but she lacks the balls to follow through with her threats and thoughts of divorce
    Thank you. I know there's worse situations out there, but it's always like "if it's not one thing it's another". Hubby and I are planning to move in a few years and I'm hoping so bad it works out. Sorry about your in laws, you're definitely right on how some people aren't meant to be married forever.
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  • candicejeff2013candicejeff2013 member
    SassetteSmurfling said:

    MIL and FIL always piss me off, but tonight my complaint is about DH's aunt. She asked if she could come over around 4 today to meet the baby. We said okay. I woke the baby up around 315 to feed her, even though it wasn't really "time" for her to eat, but I like to be done feeding her when we're expecting people so that they can see her and hold her and all. Well she shows up at 7:45! My older two are just getting out of the bath and ready for their 8 o'clock bed time. I was planning on feeding baby at 8. Aunt brings her two kids with her so of course my two want to play with them instead of go to bed. They stay until 9 o'clock. Like really!? Get out!

    Oh this should be an understood no-no! People just don't get it sometimes. I would have been like "it's a little late...maybe another day"
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  • knottieb8c7dfd990a71e69knottieb8c7dfd990a71e69 member
    My complaint is about my fathers wife who as recently as last year told me she could "give a sh*& about my daughter" and is "waiting for (her daughter) to have kids" for her and my father to enjoy grandkids. She has been manipulative, angry jealous & idk.. a touch crazy for the better part of their marriage since I've been 10. I've tried to explain and shed light on her behavior for years but really got into it with my father last year and have not spoken to him since. He has shown no desire to be involved with my daughter although acts the contrary to relatives like I am not allowing him to see or speak to her!! and seemingly cared less when I miscarried last year (no phone call nothing) and when I announced my pregnancy with son. I've reached out several times in several ways to him but no luck. I'm conflicted as to whether or not even to call when son is born (due in 1.5 week) because he is my father but at the same point the behavior of his wife is just so toxic combined with his denial and lack of emotion.. I would never accept this from someone off the street friend or whomever. It just sucks to want to share this beautiful moment with him when he has this little devil on the shoulder and he is so blind and deaf to the reality :( It goes beyond him too-- my brother/sil and half sister are in the middle, relationships strained w me and passive to her-- growing up in her dysfunction it's easier to avoid situations than feel her wrath and disconnect from our father. I just couldn't take it anymore esp. after having children- made me reevaluate a lot of things!!
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  • clyon14clyon14 member
    My biggest problems have been with my sister. She and I are two very different people. She is very much an attention seeker while I tend to shy away from the spotlight. She likes to be the first to do or know everything. For example, when I announced my engagement to my DH it was after I had dated and lived with him for 3 years. We set our wedding date for October. She then announces her engagement to her husband that had only known and dated for 6 months. The kicker is she planned her wedding a month before mine. That's the kind of relationship we have and it's never bothered me as much as now. When she was pregnant with her first son I was so excited for her and helped anyway I could and tried to be a good sister that she could turn to if she needed anything. Now that I am pregnant all she really has talked about is how she wants to be pregnant again and then she goes on to give me really rude unsolicited advice. Like that DH and I should tell our parents to stay home and wait a few days when DS gets here. I told her how important it is to us to share him with our parents as they play a huge role in our lives. I get a call from her the other day to tell me she is pregnant and it was hard for me to be excited for her. Now everything is back to her. Its like I'm not even pregnant anymore.it's hard to talk to her about her pregnancy as I'm preoccupied with my own and just want to enjoy/endure what is left of this really special time. She wants to come visit in October and I don't think I could take it. I'm hoping morning sickness will be bad for her this go around and she can't make the trip. I have pretty much stopped picking up the phone. The closer that we get to delivery time, I have to watch what I say as my filter has flown right out the window.
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  • mjones0721mjones0721 member
    clyon14 said:

    My biggest problems have been with my sister. She and I are two very different people. She is very much an attention seeker while I tend to shy away from the spotlight. She likes to be the first to do or know everything. For example, when I announced my engagement to my DH it was after I had dated and lived with him for 3 years. We set our wedding date for October. She then announces her engagement to her husband that had only known and dated for 6 months. The kicker is she planned her wedding a month before mine. That's the kind of relationship we have and it's never bothered me as much as now. When she was pregnant with her first son I was so excited for her and helped anyway I could and tried to be a good sister that she could turn to if she needed anything. Now that I am pregnant all she really has talked about is how she wants to be pregnant again and then she goes on to give me really rude unsolicited advice. Like that DH and I should tell our parents to stay home and wait a few days when DS gets here. I told her how important it is to us to share him with our parents as they play a huge role in our lives. I get a call from her the other day to tell me she is pregnant and it was hard for me to be excited for her. Now everything is back to her. Its like I'm not even pregnant anymore.it's hard to talk to her about her pregnancy as I'm preoccupied with my own and just want to enjoy/endure what is left of this really special time. She wants to come visit in October and I don't think I could take it. I'm hoping morning sickness will be bad for her this go around and she can't make the trip. I have pretty much stopped picking up the phone. The closer that we get to delivery time, I have to watch what I say as my filter has flown right out the window.





    Sounds exactly like me and my sister.
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  • candicejeff2013candicejeff2013 member
    @thisbis This is just me and how I would react but I believe it's my parents job to be apart of my life. If you've tried reaching out to your dad and he hasn't responded then wait till he comes to you. You're having a baby, that's stressful and exciting and scary all wrapped into to one. He should be available and supportive. Sorry to hear that.
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  • kat+1kat+1 member
    My issue is with my mother. My inlaws aren't part of our life other then a few Facebook comments on pictures.
    My I live really far from my family and when I found out I was having baby girl I asked my mom to come stay with us to help. She refused so I planed for my niece to come. While wouldn't you know, my mother took my niece on a 3 week vacation during March and now because she has already need away so much she isn't able to come( says her dad) so then I ask my mom and she said she would bring my niece to watch my son and she would come be with me in the delivery room.

    I was like ummmmm..... NO Your not! It's just me and hubby you know that...

    She was trying to bribe me with paying for my niece to come and I just had to tell her flat out no thanks I'll figure something out. I dont want your help if it comes with conditions. ( I just spent a month at her house in June helping for my sisters wedding and helping her get her house in order.

    I have found some lovely young ladies from church to come look after my son (1year old) and my mom isn't talking to me.( which is fine cause she told my sisters I was the one causing the problem. And my dad says she only wants to be part of the "main event"

    My mom was told not to post a wedding announcement for my sisters wedding because of some crazy family that was trying to ruin the day. And she did anyways. She said that the wedding wasn't about the bride and groom it was about her and she wanted to announce it so she did and too bad if it caused problems. The wedding almost got canceled because of her!!!

    But we will see my mom like to be the hero and "save the day" spin am sure she will end up flying out to use when the baby comes just to prove something to her self. I couldn't care at this point is she comes or not. My feeling have been too hurt to forgive her right now.
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  • pabeybabypabeybaby member
    @kat+1 my mom loves to be the center of attention too, and plays the victim a lot. Know how you feel! It's a bunch of bs.
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  • MouseMama817MouseMama817 member
    nakoppel said:


    ChristyM87 said:

    nakoppel said:

    Just found out my MIL and half brother in law (same mom different dad) are coming to visit the same weekend DSD will be meeting LO for the first time. My MIL is okay she annoys DH and I to no end but she means well. But my BIL is a felon, high school drop out, and all around horrible influence. I'm not pleased....

    This would annoy me. How does your DH feel about it? Is it an issue that matters enough to you to stand your ground on?



    My DH feels he can keep his brother in line. I can't exactly say no they can't come when my family is coming for two weeks. I just feel a little stuck honestly. I feel as though if I say something I look like I'm attempting to exclude his family

    I know exactly how you feel here. I didn't want my MIL hovering over me while I'm trying to get to know my newborn but I also can't ask them to stay away unless I'm asking the same of my family. So to be fair to everyone DH and I agreed to ask everyone to allow us three days at home by ourselves after two days of open visitation at the hospital to establish a routine with our new baby. My family accepted that just fine however, his mother threw an absolute fit. The best part? He somehow blanked when speaking to her and told her we only wanted a HALF day to ourselves...that's a few hours people. You would've thought he had cursed her out the way she reacted. So I told him "if I can't prevent your family from coming right away, then I want my mom to stay with us the first few days. I need a buffer between myself and any meddling in laws."

    It would've been hard not having my family around those first few days but it would've been BLISS not having his! So annoyed that she steamrolled my plans.
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  • MouseMama817MouseMama817 member
    SassetteSmurfling said:

    MIL and FIL always piss me off, but tonight my complaint is about DH's aunt. She asked if she could come over around 4 today to meet the baby. We said okay. I woke the baby up around 315 to feed her, even though it wasn't really "time" for her to eat, but I like to be done feeding her when we're expecting people so that they can see her and hold her and all. Well she shows up at 7:45! My older two are just getting out of the bath and ready for their 8 o'clock bed time. I was planning on feeding baby at 8. Aunt brings her two kids with her so of course my two want to play with them instead of go to bed. They stay until 9 o'clock. Like really!? Get out!

    Oh. Hell. No. How inconsiderate! I honestly would have called her or texted her at a certain point to tell her that bedtime routines were starting so she'll have to wait to see baby another day. That's some bullshit. My in-laws have no consideration for schedules or time commitments so I am always struggling with this. Baby isn't here yet but when she is, I will definitely be using this tactic.
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  • SassetteSmurflingSassetteSmurfling member
    messymolly08 said:

    SassetteSmurfling said:

    MIL and FIL always piss me off, but tonight my complaint is about DH's aunt. She asked if she could come over around 4 today to meet the baby. We said okay. I woke the baby up around 315 to feed her, even though it wasn't really "time" for her to eat, but I like to be done feeding her when we're expecting people so that they can see her and hold her and all. Well she shows up at 7:45! My older two are just getting out of the bath and ready for their 8 o'clock bed time. I was planning on feeding baby at 8. Aunt brings her two kids with her so of course my two want to play with them instead of go to bed. They stay until 9 o'clock. Like really!? Get out!

    Oh. Hell. No. How inconsiderate! I honestly would have called her or texted her at a certain point to tell her that bedtime routines were starting so she'll have to wait to see baby another day. That's some bullshit. My in-laws have no consideration for schedules or time commitments so I am always struggling with this. Baby isn't here yet but when she is, I will definitely be using this tactic.


    Well when they didn't show up by 5 (an hour after they said they were coming) DH texted to ask if they were still coming. He got no response so we figured they weren't. Then they just showed up.
    His aunt was holding the baby the entire time. She started fussing and DH must have said at least 5 times "she's probably getting hungry" hoping that would give her a hint that it was time to go. Nope. She still stayed and held on to the baby another 15 minutes. I try really really hard to be nice to his family even though I can't stand them but I almost lost it.
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  • Jessy336Jessy336 member
    Overall my inlaws are great.  They live about 3 and a half hours away, and MIL has said she wants to come down when DD is born.  We called the other night to find out exactly what they are planning.  They gave us like 4 different possible scenarios.  They will be staying here with us, I don't know how long they plan on staying and I'm trying to be zen about it all!  When they're here, they kinda have a habit of taking over the house.  My mom says I just have to go with it, and I know that's true.  I also am planning on BFing our LO, and will most likely need to camp out in my bedroom.  I just wish I had a better idea of what they are planning to do.  

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    BFP#1 9/14/2013  ||  EDD 5/25/2014  ||  mmc discovered on 11/1/2013  ||  d&c on 11/6/2013
    BFP#2 12/8/2014  ||  EDD 8/19/2015 || please be our RAINBOW
    **All Welcome**


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  • MouseMama817MouseMama817 member
    @SassetteSmurfling This is exactly what I'm dreading happening with my in laws. Needing to take my baby away from someone who refuses to give her to me. I can absolutely see myself literally removing her from their arms if I've already dropped multiple hints that aren't being taken. I try my hardest to keep a happy face for my in laws but they're seriously so draining. They're very sensitive and will feel disrespected off of nothing. Not that I care about that but I don't want my husband to have to argue with them for my sake. Hopefully I'll keep this mentality once our LO is here!

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  • Brownk1030Brownk1030 member
    edited August 2015

    I apologize for my rant in advance. It has been a bad day.

     

    I live with my MIL and BIL and I HATE IT! I regret the decision to do this almost every single day. We are supposed to be taking care of my sick MIL and my BIL cannot get his life together enough to move out. It is beyond stressful.

     

    Lately, all I can think of is, "And I'm bringing a baby into this?"

     

    Married by best friend August 24th, 2013!!!
     

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

     
    Jelly Bean is due August 27th, 2015!!!
    It's a GIRL!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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  • SassetteSmurflingSassetteSmurfling member
    @messymolly08 when DD1 was a newborn I literally snatched her out of FIL's hands. I dropped hints. Then I directly asked for her and he said "no she's fine" that's where I drew the line. I just grabbed her and walked away.

    I really can't believe how such a wonderful man came from such a horrible horrible family. It's mind boggling.
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  • AshleyM0125AshleyM0125 member
    SassetteSmurfling said:
    @messymolly08 when DD1 was a newborn I literally snatched her out of FIL's hands. I dropped hints. Then I directly asked for her and he said "no she's fine" that's where I drew the line. I just grabbed her and walked away. I really can't believe how such a wonderful man came from such a horrible horrible family. It's mind boggling.
    I think this constantly. My MIL is awful and controlling and rude and was horrible to her sons while they were growing up (she still is, but it's not so horrendous since they are old enough to get away from the situation if need be). I have absolutely zero respect for her. She would take away Christmas and birthdays when her sons were younger. They would be misbehaving (they were young boys with ADHD) and she would take all of the gifts back and put up all of the decorations and they wouldn't have Christmas or parties or anything. She killed their pet bird with a hammer because it wouldn't quit chirping. She's an awful person. And somehow, miraculously, I managed to find a wonderful, loving, amazing man that came out of such a horrible childhood. I have know idea how he ended up so normal.

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  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    AshleyM0125 said:


    SassetteSmurfling said:

    @messymolly08 when DD1 was a newborn I literally snatched her out of FIL's hands. I dropped hints. Then I directly asked for her and he said "no she's fine" that's where I drew the line. I just grabbed her and walked away.

    I really can't believe how such a wonderful man came from such a horrible horrible family. It's mind boggling.

    I think this constantly. My MIL is awful and controlling and rude and was horrible to her sons while they were growing up (she still is, but it's not so horrendous since they are old enough to get away from the situation if need be). I have absolutely zero respect for her. She would take away Christmas and birthdays when her sons were younger. They would be misbehaving (they were young boys with ADHD) and she would take all of the gifts back and put up all of the decorations and they wouldn't have Christmas or parties or anything. She killed their pet bird with a hammer because it wouldn't quit chirping. She's an awful person. And somehow, miraculously, I managed to find a wonderful, loving, amazing man that came out of such a horrible childhood. I have know idea how he ended up so normal.


    OMG she sounds like a monster. Some people are unbelievable
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  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    messymolly08 said:

    @SassetteSmurfling This is exactly what I'm dreading happening with my in laws. Needing to take my baby away from someone who refuses to give her to me. I can absolutely see myself literally removing her from their arms if I've already dropped multiple hints that aren't being taken. I try my hardest to keep a happy face for my in laws but they're seriously so draining. They're very sensitive and will feel disrespected off of nothing. Not that I care about that but I don't want my husband to have to argue with them for my sake. Hopefully I'll keep this mentality once our LO is here!

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    I am also wondering if I will eventually be in this scenario, especially since some of his family seems to think they are entitled to hold him.

    My husband's friends brought up a good point in that some people don't get that you didn't have a baby for them to hold and play with
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