My sister wants to throw me a second, she says every baby deserves to be celebrated. I think they are tacky. Have a celebration of baby after they are born if that's the reasoning, otherwise it's a gift grab. Can't afford the kid, don't have it.
I totally understand where you're coming from, but is it really that much different doing it after the baby is born? Either way, you're getting gifts for the baby. I dunno. Just my two cents.
I don't think people bring gifts when they come see baby unless they want to get an outfit or something. I'm not much for parties or gifts anyway.
I've always brought gifts to meet the baby / sip and see events just because I thought that was the norm. It seemed like others did too. I mean I didn't feel obligated. I just wanted to.
My sister wants to throw me a second, she says every baby deserves to be celebrated. I think they are tacky. Have a celebration of baby after they are born if that's the reasoning, otherwise it's a gift grab. Can't afford the kid, don't have it.
I totally understand where you're coming from, but is it really that much different doing it after the baby is born? Either way, you're getting gifts for the baby. I dunno. Just my two cents.
I don't think people bring gifts when they come see baby unless they want to get an outfit or something. I'm not much for parties or gifts anyway.
I've always brought gifts to meet the baby / sip and see events just because I thought that was the norm. It seemed like others did too. I mean I didn't feel obligated. I just wanted to.
I think some people bring gifts but it's less of an obligation because it's not a "shower" where the point is gift giving. Also, a shower gift tends to be different than a "meet the baby" gift. Like for a sip & see I may bring a stuffed animal or a pretty blanket. For a shower, in spending more money.
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I'm having a second shower. When this one gets here, my oldest will be 19. This is my SO's first child, too. It was never really a question of whether I was having one, two different friends told me they were throwing me a shower. I have another friend who is pregnant with her 4th. I went to her shower for the 3rd and didn't side eye it too much since there's a rather large gap between the 2nd & 3rd, but her 3rd will be 2 when the 4th is born so I'm hoping she doesn't do another shower.
I know everyone is always do deeply divided in this. My mom already told me she would like to throw me a shower for this baby. I already have everything I need but in my family (believe if or not) showers aren't really about the gifts. It is a lot more about celebrating new life and family gathering around to show their love. So ifmy mom throws a second one, I might include no gifts in the invite. Besides, my family usually just gives small homemade items just for that baby. So I guess we do things differently. Now my in-laws it is all about the gifts and I don't think they'll do a second shower which is totally fine with me.
I know everyone is always do deeply divided in this. My mom already told me she would like to throw me a shower for this baby. I already have everything I need but in my family (believe if or not) showers aren't really about the gifts. It is a lot more about celebrating new life and family gathering around to show their love. So ifmy mom throws a second one, I might include no gifts in the invite. Besides, my family usually just gives small homemade items just for that baby. So I guess we do things differently. Now my in-laws it is all about the gifts and I don't think they'll do a second shower which is totally fine with me.
I wouldn't put anything about gifts, even to say no gifts, on the invite. It someone asks when they RSVP, your mom can say "they didn't register because they don't need anything."
I think they're super duper tacky esp. if your kids are 1) same sex 2) close together in age 3) if you throw them yourself. But most people I know have them. I don't even know if I'll have a first. I'm not expecting one and I am also not expecting anyone to gift me something. I've also been in situations where you are told what to gift or expected to and it's so very rude/awkward.
I have hosted 3 different 2nd 'sprinkle's ( I personally think the term is stupid, but not important) with 3 other girlfriends. The showers I have hosted are usually at someone's house with food either picked up from a restaurant or home made. Lots of decorations, bakery cake and some sort of sparkling wine bar ( sangria, mimosa, Bellini etc.) 10 to 20 immediate family and friends. Whereas sprinkle is at a restaurant, definitely under 15, no family, local friends, no registry, mostly cute outfits or some item we liked during our pregnancy that we think she'd use. It's a good excuse for all the girls with their own busy family and work schedules to get together, chat and eat some delicious food without our firsts disrupting us ( the husbands,who are all friends, usually get together with the kids to hang out during these events). Long story short, I think as long as it's small and no one is asking or demanding one, I have no prob with a second shower.
Where I live in Texas showers seem to be customary with each child. Treated as more of a celebration of each child and the mothers new journey. I can see both sides of the argument given the history of showers is that a community would shower a bride or mother with gifts when her husband could not afford the gifts. But I think the custom has evolved from a sense of necessity to a social ritual. There will be a 6 year gap between #1 and #2. #1 happened in HS and was a very different situation and #2 is with my husband and will be his first biological. So I wouldn't be surprised if his family wants to have a shower but I do not expect it and am budgeting for us to purchase all baby items, as we have none of them! But I don't see it as gift grabby if a community wants to bless a mother and father regardless of how many children they have. Anyway there are a lot of creative ideas around the traditional registry and gift receiving.
I flat out refused my step mothers offer to throw me another shower for this baby, and my best friend's offer. I think it's super tacky, especially since I am fully capable of paying for everything I need for this LO, which wont be much. The only time I think its acceptable for 2nd showers is if your children are 5+ years apart, you are having multiples, or something tragic happened; like a house fire, flood, tornado etc. I would never want someone to spend the money on throwing me a shower where people felt obligated to give me gifts that I already have from baby #1. It's just a waste. I would much rather have a sip 'n see that I would throw for other people to come and meet the new baby (no gifts).
I'm still on the fence with this one. I told my sister I didn't want a second shower bc I know they're a pain and expensive and mostly boring but she acted surprised and said on no you have to have a second! I think if someone offered and was insistent, I would let them throw me one but otherwise I'm not going to do anything. I had thought about maybe doing a beer and diaper bbq for our close friends and family but haven't made up my mind.
Also, getting on my soap box here, I would never dream of not sending thank you notes but the last few showers I have been to I never received any thank you note or otherwise. Is this acceptable now?? I don't get it at all or maybe I just have rude "friends" (sorry to go off topic this irks me, can you tell!)
I'm still on the fence with this one. I told my sister I didn't want a second shower bc I know they're a pain and expensive and mostly boring but she acted surprised and said on no you have to have a second! I think if someone offered and was insistent, I would let them throw me one but otherwise I'm not going to do anything. I had thought about maybe doing a beer and diaper bbq for our close friends and family but haven't made up my mind.
Also, getting on my soap box here, I would never dream of not sending thank you notes but the last few showers I have been to I never received any thank you note or otherwise. Is this acceptable now?? I don't get it at all or maybe I just have rude "friends" (sorry to go off topic this irks me, can you tell!)
I've always received personalized thank you notes -- so maybe you have rude friends lol
I can't imagine someone not sending a thank you.
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I'm still on the fence with this one. I told my sister I didn't want a second shower bc I know they're a pain and expensive and mostly boring but she acted surprised and said on no you have to have a second! I think if someone offered and was insistent, I would let them throw me one but otherwise I'm not going to do anything. I had thought about maybe doing a beer and diaper bbq for our close friends and family but haven't made up my mind.
Also, getting on my soap box here, I would never dream of not sending thank you notes but the last few showers I have been to I never received any thank you note or otherwise. Is this acceptable now?? I don't get it at all or maybe I just have rude "friends" (sorry to go off topic this irks me, can you tell!)
I've noticed recently more and more friends not sending out thank you notes from weddings and showers..Huge pet peeve for me! I'm also the type of person that will send a thank you note the day I receive something because 1.) I love snail mail so I have tons of stationary and 2.) I'm always afraid I'm going to forget to do it so I do with while I still have it fresh in my mind.
I'm still on the fence with this one. I told my sister I didn't want a second shower bc I know they're a pain and expensive and mostly boring but she acted surprised and said on no you have to have a second! I think if someone offered and was insistent, I would let them throw me one but otherwise I'm not going to do anything. I had thought about maybe doing a beer and diaper bbq for our close friends and family but haven't made up my mind.
Also, getting on my soap box here, I would never dream of not sending thank you notes but the last few showers I have been to I never received any thank you note or otherwise. Is this acceptable now?? I don't get it at all or maybe I just have rude "friends" (sorry to go off topic this irks me, can you tell!)
I've noticed recently more and more friends not sending out thank you notes from weddings and showers..Huge pet peeve for me! I'm also the type of person that will send a thank you note the day I receive something because 1.) I love snail mail so I have tons of stationary and 2.) I'm always afraid I'm going to forget to do it so I do with while I still have it fresh in my mind.
I sent them out for my baby shower... though I did not send them out for my youngest 1st birthday but does it count that I said thank you a million times for making his day special and shelled out tons of hugs? In all honesty, thank you cards seem not important to people anymore and its kind of sad, along with normal, paper invitations.
I'm against having a shower because I am super picky and know what I want for my baby this time. Instead my friends and I are going to go out to eat and go shopping together. It's low key and we can all have fun. And eat awesome food!
I was living out of state whenmy showers were thrown for me. We had to travel 8 hours to get to one and 10 to the other. In the process of driving back home DH accidentally threw out the list of gifts from people and addresses. For my wedding we moved the day after 8 hours away. Someone else packed our wedding gifts and put all the cards in a separate box. I had no clue what came from who after that. I thanked everyone I could but it wasn't through snail mail. I've always felt terrible about that.
I haven't gotten paper thank yous for the last several gift-giving events and it irritates me. We don't do thank yous for birthday/Christmas, but showers and weddings deserve mailed thank you notes IMO.
I also loathe the trend of text/email/online invites to big events. Send me a cute invitation!
Same here. I'm sick of the facebook invites to showers, etc. And mass text for thank you. I think is SUPER rude.
Agree! I got a group text thank you for a kids birthday party. The text was bad enough, but they couldn't at least send an individual message? Obviously easier since there was no specific mention of each gift, but I think no thank you would almost be better!
I am in the UK so baby showers are completely different here to what they seem to be like in the US. Over here they're called a baby shower, because we pinched the idea from America, but it's really not a "shower" at all. Basically all we do is invite close female family and friends to have something to eat, usually afternoon tea or a small buffet at someone's house. There is always those daft games like sniff the fake poo in the nappy or taste the baby food and guess the flavour or down a bottle of juice race. Those seem to be the focus. The games and the chatting basically. It's always organised by family and friends, not by the preggo.
People always bring gifts, but since the only people who are invited are people who would be buying gifts for the baby anyway because they are mums, nanas, best friends etc., it's not the focus of the event at all, and it's not additional to what a mum would get if she didn't have a shower. Over here gifts are brought traditionally on first meeting the baby. But when my friends have had a shower I get them a gift for their shower and then usually a very low cost token gift on meeting baby.
All of my friends have had showers for all of our babies, even for 2nd, 3rd etc. But like I said, the gifts are usually just the kind of thing that you would buy when meeting baby for the first time, not ever huge gifts. And we certainly don't ever register for gifts, not even for a first shower or baby. Registry's are still considered pretty tacky over here on the whole, both wedding and baby ones. I think they're great cause it takes out the guess work, but you never see them.
But, after saying all that not many people have baby showers. The British are (as a massive generalisation) very touchy about being asked to buy presents for people so I think that's why the dilute version of a baby shower was adopted. I think there would be uproar if tons of people were invited who weren't close family or friends and there was a register. lol!
I had a shower for my first girl, not my second girl, and my third which was a boy. And the reason why I had a shower with my boy, was because we move around with the military, and my military family wanted to throw me one, and my hubs was deployed! I don't think I would have had one otherwise!
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I live out of state and I am going back home a month before our due date so my sister really wanted to throw me a second. It's a good way to get together with friends and family. Especially because we are only there for so long so it ensures we will be able to see everyone. For me the showers are all about celebrating the baby and being together as a family. Also if it's not a different sex I told her we could do a gender reveal party instead. I don't really think anything of throwing more then one as long as you aren't doing for gifts and you should even put something like that on the invites.
Re: Second Showers
Also, a shower gift tends to be different than a "meet the baby" gift.
Like for a sip & see I may bring a stuffed animal or a pretty blanket. For a shower, in spending more money.
But most people I know have them.
I don't even know if I'll have a first. I'm not expecting one and I am also not expecting anyone to gift me something. I've also been in situations where you are told what to gift or expected to and it's so very rude/awkward.
Edit spelling.
Long story short, I think as long as it's small and no one is asking or demanding one, I have no prob with a second shower.
Baby F.......02/02/2016
In all honesty, thank you cards seem not important to people anymore and its kind of sad, along with normal, paper invitations.
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I also loathe the trend of text/email/online invites to big events. Send me a cute invitation!
Baby F.......02/02/2016
Agree! I got a group text thank you for a kids birthday party. The text was bad enough, but they couldn't at least send an individual message? Obviously easier since there was no specific mention of each gift, but I think no thank you would almost be better!
Isabella {09-02-05} & Savannah {03-02-07} & Bradley {02-06-10}