If I get one more...(rant!!)

kjacks6347 · July 2015

If I get one more "Just you wait.." comment I swear I might actually lose it!!! I will be talking about something that isn't even baby related and somehow they manage to toss that comment in. For example I was talking about how it is frustrating that my husband likes to snore when he is sleeping and my lovely coworker said "just you wait until you have that baby. girl you don't even know what frustration is yet. That baby will push you past any sanity you thought you had". So I can't be annoyed about something right now because it's not as bad as when I will have a baby?? Maybe it is just because I am almost 31 weeks pregnant. I hit week 30 and EVERYTHING started to get on my nerves. btw if I get one more judgmental look because I am drinking my Starbucks at work I might snap and run someone over with my car. ITS EITHER MY COFFEE OR ILL HURT YOU! WHICH ONE??? Okay..rant over. Sorry. Thanks for listening girls! If anyone has another rant they would like to share please do! I love reading them

arwestover3 · July 2015

Ugh! I feel this way about all the comments about my plan for my daughter'so birth! So much judgement about how I'm seeing midwives, even though I'm delivering in the hospital! Or if people find out I plan to go medication-free, it's, "Why would you if you can get the drugs?" or, "You'll never make it," or, "It's not like you have anything to prove!" Or when we left our doctor because he wanted me to not even try a VBAC, people asked me why we didn't just go with what he said, or told me a VBAC was too dangerous (so not true!), or why wouldn't I just take the "easy" way out and just agree to another c-section for no reason? I keep telling myself that the people who say things like that just don't understand, have no idea what the actual medical research says, etc. but that's not really helping so much anymore!

AshleeM7784 · July 2015

I hate the "just you wait" comments about insomnia. I'm not getting it so much this time, but when I was pregnant with my son and had horrible insomnia I had so many people tell me "just wait until you have a newborn, then you really won't sleep!" Pregnancy insomnia sucks! At least when you have a newborn you have a REASON to be up at n the middle of the night!

J1D · July 2015

I have suffered from chronic insomnia for as long as I can remember. A good 20+ years and anyone and everyone who knows me knows this. Yet for some reason people keep telling me to "enjoy your sleep now while you still can!" Um...do you all not know what chronic insomnia is? Or when I post on Facebook that I hadn't slept for more than a few hours a night for the last week and someone replies "enjoy your sleep while it lasts! You won't be getting any once the baby comes or for the next 3 years!" Um, again, did you not read what I just wrote? I ALREADY DON'T SLEEP! What is this sleep that I don't get that I am supposed to be enjoying!? Ug!

cmjn94 · July 2015

I haven't had this problem that much but I'll just be mad with you because that would drive me freaking nuts!!

kjacks6347 · July 2015

arwestover3 said:
Ugh! I feel this way about all the comments about my plan for my daughter'so birth! So much judgement about how I'm seeing midwives, even though I'm delivering in the hospital! Or if people find out I plan to go medication-free, it's, "Why would you if you can get the drugs?" or, "You'll never make it," or, "It's not like you have anything to prove!" Or when we left our doctor because he wanted me to not even try a VBAC, people asked me why we didn't just go with what he said, or told me a VBAC was too dangerous (so not true!), or why wouldn't I just take the "easy" way out and just agree to another c-section for no reason? I keep telling myself that the people who say things like that just don't understand, have no idea what the actual medical research says, etc. but that's not really helping so much anymore!

Exactly!!! Is is so hard for people to bring a little positivity into this amazing event!? Why not just support your decisions!?

kjacks6347 · July 2015

Yes yes yes! @AshleeM7784 and @J1D just because it's going to be hard later doesn't mean that t doesn't suck being awake at 3am now lol. How can I enjoy the sleep that I'm not getting??!

kjacks6347 · July 2015

@cmjn94 thanks for your support girl! Ladies unite ✊

bdienta2015 · July 2015

@kjacks6347 I drink my Starbucks at work every morning and will tell off anyone who gives me a sideways glance!!! Yes we're pregnant but we do need to still function! And I had the just you wait, everyone does everything differently and every baby is different anyways so it's such an unnecessary comment to begin with.

ameares721 · July 2015

I went to Starbucks and ordered a decaf soy frap... They asked if I wanted it sugar free, too! I was like "I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant, not masochistic..." And I get the sideways glances when I order spicy food. I'll hold off when I'm breastfeeding but damn people spicy food is not going to hurt my baby! I think the worst is when my 6 year old goddaughter lived with me in January/February and before people knew I was pregnant they kept saying it was "practice". Yes, a 6 year old is clearly practice for pregnancy and an infant. Shut upppppp people.

MamaOwl15 · July 2015

@ameares721, I think it's actually ok to eat spicy food while breastfeeding - women in other countries whose diets normally include a lot of spicy foods do it! Just monitor how your baby seems to react . . .

As for the "just you wait" comments . . . I don't get it. Why does everyone seem hellbent on making motherhood seem like a nightmare to FTMs? When I was expecting my son, and experiencing the lovely 3rd trimester insomnia, everyone was like "sleep now while you still can!"

For every negative "just you wait," I can think of a positive. Motherhood means never sleeping in, being responsible for another human being's very life, giving up getting to be selfish . . . And getting to have the joy of being your child's favorite person (even when they hit the toddler years and stop acting like it), watching this little 7-9 lb blob of baby grow into a walking, talking, creative little person . . . And yes, you DO get to sleep eventually. Maybe even in the first few months!

jefinley1 · July 2015

MamaOwl15 said:

@ameares721, I think it's actually ok to eat spicy food while breastfeeding - women in other countries whose diets normally include a lot of spicy foods do it! Just monitor how your baby seems to react . . .

Thank you! I can't imagine trying to give up spiced up foods. Baby's going to end up with a picky palate otherwise! My understanding is that as long as they aren't having allergic reactions, the more foods and flavors introduced through breast milk the better.

J1D · July 2015

Also, in regards to the whole you'll never sleep again thing- I think it really depends on your baby and your spouse and your situation. I had friends who were getting 8 hours of sleep a night from day 1 of bring baby home. Mom was a early to bed early to rise kinda gal and Dad was a night owl. Mom nursed baby at 10pm then said peace, I'm out and she went to bed. Baby would be bottle fed by Dad once or twice as needed until he went bed around 3am or 4am. Then Mom was always awake by 6am so she was well rested and ready to go the next time baby needed anything. Baby slept in her own crib in her bedroom down the hall and the baby monitor went with the parent that was a awake. Neither one of them ever missed out on a wink of sleep unless baby was actually sick and needed extra care.

I know that's not going to work for everyone but its proof that its not impossible to get some sleep.

heytallmama · July 2015

J1D said:

Also, in regards to the whole you'll never sleep again thing- I think it really depends on your baby and your spouse and your situation. I had friends who were getting 8 hours of sleep a night from day 1 of bring baby home. Mom was a early to bed early to rise kinda gal and Dad was a night owl. Mom nursed baby at 10pm then said peace, I'm out and she went to bed. Baby would be bottle fed by Dad once or twice as needed until he went bed around 3am or 4am. Then Mom was always awake by 6am so she was well rested and ready to go the next time baby needed anything. Baby slept in her own crib in her bedroom down the hall and the baby monitor went with the parent that was a awake. Neither one of them ever missed out on a wink of sleep unless baby was actually sick and needed extra care.
I know that's not going to work for everyone but its proof that its not impossible to get some sleep.

----- quote box fail-----
OOoohhh THIS sounds like a dream scenario that could actually have a real possibility of playing out in our home! Shoot for the stars, right? Even pre-pregnancy, I'd be out like a light by 10pm and easily up by 5:30... my husband can't fall asleep before midnight if he tries!

J1D · July 2015

@lnord7 It's basically the plan my husband and I are going to try but with me as the night owl. My mother has offered to come over for a few hours in the morning or afternoon for a few weeks after the baby is born so its possible that we could work our schedules to where my husband and I could theoretically get 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep opportunity. We'll see if it actually plays out that way but we are going to try!

MamaOwl15 · July 2015

jefinley1 said:

MamaOwl15 said:

@ameares721, I think it's actually ok to eat spicy food while breastfeeding - women in other countries whose diets normally include a lot of spicy foods do it! Just monitor how your baby seems to react . . .

Thank you! I can't imagine trying to give up spiced up foods. Baby's going to end up with a picky palate otherwise! My understanding is that as long as they aren't having allergic reactions, the more foods and flavors introduced through breast milk the better.

You don't really have to change your diet for breastfeeding, unless your baby reacts to something (nuts, dairy, etc). Obviously you have to watch intake of certain medications and stuff, but it's not like eating hot sauce is going to make your milk too spicy and give baby heartburn. I'm not 100% sure how spicy food affects breastmilk since I don't really eat spicy myself, but I've heard it's OK.

When baby starts solids, the more variety in the diet, the better, but you have to introduce foods one at a time to monitor potential allergic reactions. But there's no reason babies need a bland diet!

amberrmariee20 · July 2015

Just you wait till your child learns to say "I love you mommy" and kisses you. It's so sweet (: !

Just you wait when your child is 4 and your pregnant and he rubs your belly and says I love your baby mommy.

millereliz13 · July 2015

I keep getting told, just wait you'll want a 2nd child because your kid will want a sibling. Yeah, I'm 32, I'd be over 35 before we would even consider trying again. I'm high risk and have not had a "fun" pregnancy.
Plus, I keep getting told, just wait, the pain gets worse in regards to some back and rib issues I'm having now. I was asking about stretches to do to help with it.

plumpous · July 2015

I'm getting sick of people telling me to eat more because I'm eating for 2.

First, that's not true.

Second, I eat soooo much anyways. I eat too much. I got fat yo. I don't need a bigger slice of cake. Really.

MamaOwl15 · July 2015

millereliz13 said:
I keep getting told, just wait you'll want a 2nd child because your kid will want a sibling. Yeah, I'm 32, I'd be over 35 before we would even consider trying again. I'm high risk and have not had a "fun" pregnancy.
Plus, I keep getting told, just wait, the pain gets worse in regards to some back and rib issues I'm having now. I was asking about stretches to do to help with it.

Of course they forget to mention that after the pain gets worse, you have the baby and the pain goes away! It's amazing what not having a human being stuffed in your belly does.

adcoxmt · July 2015

J1D said:

I have suffered from chronic insomnia for as long as I can remember. A good 20+ years and anyone and everyone who knows me knows this. Yet for some reason people keep telling me to "enjoy your sleep now while you still can!" Um...do you all not know what chronic insomnia is? Or when I post on Facebook that I hadn't slept for more than a few hours a night for the last week and someone replies "enjoy your sleep while it lasts! You won't be getting any once the baby comes or for the next 3 years!" Um, again, did you not read what I just wrote? I ALREADY DON'T SLEEP! What is this sleep that I don't get that I am supposed to be enjoying!? Ug!

THIS! Everyone who knows me even a little bit knows I've never been able to sleep for shit. Yet now it's suddenly something to comment on, sometimes in a chastising or reprimanding way: "Girl, you know you better take care of yourself and get your sleep now while you still can." Yeah, because my insomnia is purely a choice. I ENJOY not being able to sleep, no matter what I try. No, no, as I've told you before, Melatonin doesn't affect me in the slightest. Thanks.

heytallmama · July 2015

plumpous said: I'm getting sick of people telling me to eat more because I'm eating for 2.First, that's not true.Second, I eat soooo much anyways. I eat too much. I got fat yo. I don't need a bigger slice of cake. Really.
---ugh why with the quote box fails!?---
This! It drives me crazy when people say, "You're eating for two -- go for the extra cookie/ cake/ donut/ massive sandwich!" I always respond with, "Yeah, one of us is a full grown adult, the other is about 3 pounds. Not exactly equal." Besides, I can give into my own "screw it I'm having all of the cheese balls" impulses without someone else encouraging me.

J1D · July 2015

Also, with the sleep now while you can- Why? Does sleep now come with a rollover data plan? Like can I stockpile sleep hours and somehow apply them once the baby comes? If I get the best sleep of my life EVER right now, at 7 months pregnant, will it make one teensy tiny bit of difference once the baby is here and sleep is no longer an option according to the doomsayers?

BTDT Moms, did you ever, at any point, while up at 3am covered in baby puke, pee (yours or theirs) and breast milk leaked from the midnight feeding that you never got a chance to clean up, say, "Thank God I got all that sleep before the baby came! I'm really glad I have those energy reserves built up to pull from right now!"? I'm guessing no. Cause you can't stockpile sleep!

amberrmariee20 · July 2015

@J1D my son is 3 almost 4. And he sleeps till usually 9 or so, sometimes 8, but he plays in his room for an hour or so before he will wake me up ! I get more sleep now then when I was pregnant with him !!

MamaOwl15 · July 2015

@J1D, if I could've stockpiled sleep I would have!

Though the first few weeks were rough, my son slept 5-6 hours a night starting around 8 weeks. Sleeping with him by my side in the cosleeper rather than inside my belly where he kicked all night was blissful. In fact, until I got pregnant again, I slept alright for the past two years except when DS is sick. I have to get up early every day, but I can log 6-8 hours.

Now, for those of you who suffer from insomnia, you have my sympathy. My husband suffers from insomnia and melatonin doesn't help (except the extra strength kind from GNC).

SarahAnne1101 · July 2015

The coffee.... If one more person says something to me about it, i really might pour scalding coffee on them.

Also, 'It's cute now that DS - he's 3 - loves the baby. But just wait until that baby is actually here. he's going to be so jealous and hate the baby and it's going to be horrible."

Why would you wish that on someone.... And also, my son LOVES babies. All of them. Anyone's. My best friend has a 7 week old, and he cries when she leaves and says he wants his baby to come so he never has to leave.....

komorebi · July 2015

People mostly stop that once you have a few kids. But now that we have a boy coming we get some of it. I'm sorry but there is nothing a boy can do that my crazy girls haven't done. Except have a penis.

komorebi · July 2015

@SarahAnne1101 i haven't found jealousy to be an issue. I do worry about my youngest now but only because she tends to think I'm only hers but my experience has been as long as you have some support and include them in the day to day stuff with the new baby it's no problem.

And omg with the caffeine. It's safe. So is almost everything else. Leave me alone weirdos!

komorebi · July 2015

@amberrmariee20 those are the only just you waits people should say. "Just you wait until you meet your little one and you feel like your heart might explode with love."

kjacks6347 · July 2015

Girls! You are all amazing

it's so nice being able to come here and vent. This place seriously keeps me from actually losing it on people!

Sbrouwer0706 · July 2015

I was basically shouting "YES!" as I read all of these responses!

I feel like I am hearing "just you wait" from so many people but the worst of it is my sister. She has two kids and is pregnant with her third. I feel like I can't tell her anything without a "just you wait" comment. Now it's "just you wait until the baby is born!" soon it will be "just you wait until you have 2 or 3!" and because she will always have the oldest of the family it will eventually become "just wait until they are teenagers!"

I'm resigning to the fact that "just you wait" will haunt me forever.

SarahAnne1101 · July 2015

@komorebi - That's exactly what I think. I keep telling them, this is my 3rd baby. I managed to figure it out the first time, and DD didn't like babies all that much. DS is the most mature 3 year old I have ever met. he expresses himself better than most adults I know. I am so not worried about him. He will tell me, Mommy, I am feeling a little tired and would like to lay with you. Or Mommy my sister said this and it made me sad. I want to hit her but that would be mean. Pretty sure he will tell me if he feels like he needs something....

naka92 · July 2015

The sleep one drives me nuts. I've been getting around 3 hours a night on average since i was 12 due to insomnia. None of the medication I've been prescribed has helped at all. Get sleep now? Bitch ive not slept in 11 years, if i knew of a magical way to get more sleep I'd fall asleep every time this comes up, just to escape the conversation. Every. Freaking. Day.

komorebi · July 2015

SarahAnne1101 said:
@komorebi - That's exactly what I think. I keep telling them, this is my 3rd baby. I managed to figure it out the first time, and DD didn't like babies all that much. DS is the most mature 3 year old I have ever met. he expresses himself better than most adults I know. I am so not worried about him. He will tell me, Mommy, I am feeling a little tired and would like to lay with you. Or Mommy my sister said this and it made me sad. I want to hit her but that would be mean. Pretty sure he will tell me if he feels like he needs something....

I think people want things to be hard for others, which i don't get. Even if i am struggling, I'm not likely to confide in anyone who told me "just you wait." And going from 2 to 3 was my easiest transition. I hope is the same for you:)

amberrmariee20 · July 2015

komorebi said:
@amberrmariee20 those are the only just you waits people should say. "Just you wait until you meet your little one and you feel like your heart might explode with love."

I can't stand when people say just you wait and then proceed with a negative comment ! I love being a mom, it's scary at times, it's stressful, but it's also a whole lot of love and a whole lot of fun. The smallest thing can make a child happy (: !

MamaOwl15 · July 2015

@BrooklynBroussard, I agree, "just you wait and see" is pretty insulting. It's like, "yeah because you know EXACTLY what MY child is going to be like."

Unfortunately, the comments don't stop once the baby is born, either. It's all "just wait till you reach the terrible twos." "just wait till they're teenagers." I'm like, oh you mean the toddler years where you get to witness the magic of language development and the creativity of a child at play? Or the teenage years when they can make their own peanut butter sandwiches and bathe themselves and clean up their own rooms?

Srhbgr · July 2015

MamaOwl15 said:

. . . As for the "just you wait" comments . . . I don't get it. Why does everyone seem hellbent on making motherhood seem like a nightmare to FTMs? When I was expecting my son, and experiencing the lovely 3rd trimester insomnia, everyone was like "sleep now while you still can!" For every negative "just you wait," I can think of a positive. Motherhood means never sleeping in, being responsible for another human being's very life, giving up getting to be selfish . . . And getting to have the joy of being your child's favorite person (even when they hit the toddler years and stop acting like it), watching this little 7-9 lb blob of baby grow into a walking, talking, creative little person . . . And yes, you DO get to sleep eventually. Maybe even in the first few months!

THIS!!!!!!

I went to visit a friend last week and her 2yo was very shy of me the whole weekend until the last dinner we had together and he just crawled right up on my lap and fell asleep on my shoulder. I know I was grinning like an idiot so friend says, "Just wait till yours gets here!" I swear if I didn't have a sleeping toddler on me I would have jumped over the table to hug and kiss her!!!! Why can't people talk about all the positives you'll experience?

taralohse · July 2015

This thread is like music to my ears. I am so sick of "just you wait" -- LEAVE ME ALONE.

intheversa · July 2015

I'm already not sleeping so when they tell me "Just you wait, you're never going to sleep again!" I just tell them to look at the bags under my eyes.

I get an unusual just you wait and it makes me crazy. I have a very large Kate Spade tote that my mom got discounted and gave me for Christmas. I carry it everywhere and I love it. But I constantly hear, "You love that purse, but just you wait till that baby gets here and those fancy things that you love so much will be a thing of the past. It will be too hard carrying that purse and a diaper bag so enjoy it while it lasts!" I know that once the baby gets here I will be using the diaper bag as my purse for the most part, I've accepted that. But let me enjoy carrying the purse I wanted for years while I still can please! Is that too much to ask?

plumpous · July 2015

For the 'Just you wait' people I keep saying that each baby is different. It's true though. My BFF said, oh you have a girl? You'll see, when she gets older, she will only bond with her dad. Girls don't love their moms the same way. Pffft. I was a total mommy girl.

But if I get one more... "are you having twins?" I will blow my fuze!

People keep asking me that, and my bump is small, so why even go there? The issue here is that I HAD twins, and now I DON'T. Losing twin A was one of the worst moments of my life, and getting used to the fact I'm carrying one instead of two was really hard for me. So, I always smile and say, no, just the one, but inside I am crying. I know they have no way of knowing, but for goodness sake, can they just ask if I know what I'm having?

KLHauck12 · August 2015

I was just saying this to my husband. It wasn't so much of the "just you wait" comments related to what I will be giving up or struggling with myself (i.e. lack of sleep) but related to dealing with kids behaviors. We were at a 1st bday party with lots of kids running around. Everytime someone's kid did something frustrating, they would turn to me and say, "just you wait, this will be you". I don't know how to respond to that except with a smile and/or awkward laugh.

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