December 2015 Moms

Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding

1235

Re: Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding

  • LC122LC122 member

    Hi everyone. So I'm a first time mom and I am totally on the fence about which one to do. I know that breastfeeding is much healthier and better for the baby, not to mention cheaper lol but I don't know how I feel about doing it. Maybe I'm a big wussy but I've heard how much it can hurt and I can't see myself out in public even with a cover up doing that. I'm very modest and shy so that's a big factor for me. Honestly, I'm leaning toward bottle feeding but I feel like people look down on you for that if you can breastfeed. I understand women who try to breastfeed and can't so they have to switch. But what if you just don't want to. Is that bad? I'm still doing my research on both and I haven't made a decision and I could still change my mind down the road but I'm just curious to see what you ladies say. What is your experience? And please don't bash on me too hard...It's just kind of scary that's all. Thanks.

    @Marchmellow2 , reading fail on your part.
    Per the original post, what part of "maybe I'm a big wussy" and "it's just kind of scary" doesn't indicate "fear" to you?

    And I never said anything about her being a bad parent. I referenced several examples of people making poor choices out of fear and advised against letting fear motivate choices.

    And since she is scared of the experience of breastfeeding, she can't possibly be informed about her personal experience without personally experiencing it. All the information one might collect to be "informed" about breastfeeding supports that breastfeeding is best barring any personal exclusions. And since she hasn't experienced it yet, those exclusions can't apply.

    I'm not here to convince anyone that breastfeeding is best for everyone nor that anyone should be ashamed for formula feeding. Everyone should already know the facts about it.

    The original post asked if it was bad to just not want to breastfeed. If she had asked is it bad to just buy your kids fast food even though you know cooking fresh foods at home is healthier, would we be having the same vigilante defense of fast food? ("Some people don't have time to cook, organic vegetables are expensive, she can feed her baby what she wants, I ate fast food as a kid and I turned out fine, my niece eats exclusively fast food and is a genius, etc.".)

    Take the "breastfeeding" and "formula feeding" out of the equation and rephrase it as a logical question: Is it bad not to do something I know is "healthier and better" (her words) for my baby just because I don't want to/"it's just kind of scary"?
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  • So we should all chastise and judge her over a decision that is ultimately not our business? She asked for our opinion, that's it. From what I have seen, second time mothers are more likely to breastfeed. First time moms are intimated by a lot of things, there is a lot of anxiety and fear in becoming a parent. This is my first, so I know this well. Having other moms equate bottle feeding to bad parenting and for them to basically trash the mom who made the decision to bottle feed only turns them away from us. What if they desire to breastfeed their second child, but feel as if they ask for support they will be treated poorly? If not for support of other moms, let's at least be kind to each other.
  • laurabwalkerlaurabwalker member
    edited July 2015
    Just a side note, if you are wanting to breast feed pumping in the first 24 hours is not very effective as you only have colostrum ( some people it takes 3 days for milk supply) so hand expressing is what works. Also, for supply the pump is not nearly effective as the baby's sucking mechanism, pumping is usually reserved at the beginning for Moms with babies that are preemies or unable to suck for some reason. Pumping BM once your milk is established is effective with breastfeeding as well, so you pump at the end of your feeds. The actual breastfeeding act is what will stimulate your prolactin to activate the receptors in the first 24 hrs.
    Edit: this is for ftm
  • @nik6499 For President!!

    Beautifully stated.
  • dp1320dp1320 member

    I support your decision 100%. I'm of the mindset that happy mom = happy baby. I know there's a formula feeding group here on TB and I'd recommend you also check out fearlessformulafeeder.com.


  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    edited July 2015
    From experienced BF moms here, when were you able to start pumping? I'll be able to have 12 weeks off before I return to work, I would love to build a good frozen supply.
  • sarahgn said:

    From experienced BF moms here, when were you able to start pumping? I'll be able to have 12 weeks off before I return to work, I would love to build a good frozen supply.

    I would Give yourself a few weeks to establish BF and then start pumping.
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  • LC122LC122 member
    sarahgn said:

    So we should all chastise and judge her over a decision that is ultimately not our business? She asked for our opinion, that's it. From what I have seen, second time mothers are more likely to breastfeed. First time moms are intimated by a lot of things, there is a lot of anxiety and fear in becoming a parent. This is my first, so I know this well. Having other moms equate bottle feeding to bad parenting and for them to basically trash the mom who made the decision to bottle feed only turns them away from us. What if they desire to breastfeed their second child, but feel as if they ask for support they will be treated poorly? If not for support of other moms, let's at least be kind to each other.

    @sarahgn, the criticism isn't in the decision to bottle feed. It's in knowing that breastfeeding is better and choosing not to even try. To answer your question re: "what if they desire to breastfeed their second child..." if you are perceiving this conversation as a criticism of bottle feeding, then anyone wanting to breastfeed would be well supported. Not sure what you thought your logic was there. I think you mean that first time moms are "intimidated" and the fact that there is a lot of fear and anxiety is the reason my advice was to not let that fear (and anxiety, for that matter) motivate the decisions you make as a parent.

    Since you brought up "what you have seen" and @nik6499 brought up some great points as well as "cultures" attitudes toward breastfeeding, it is worth mentioning that many people on here and most people in general will do what is "normal"/common in their social circles. If you have friends who breastfeed, you are more likely to try it and be educated about it. I have a friend who (before I knew her) felt stigmatized at the playground because she was the only one not breastfeeding and all the other moms took a nursing break together. In fact, she actually faked it. It was a new group she was meeting with and just trying to fit in, she pretended to breastfeed her formula-fed child. She went on to have other children and had a wonderful breastfeeding experience with them. It's sad that she had that sort of self-conscious experience, but I'm glad she was ultimately able to have a positive breastfeeding experience.
    My point is that people do what they know, but when you know better, you can do better.
  • sarahgn said:

    From experienced BF moms here, when were you able to start pumping? I'll be able to have 12 weeks off before I return to work, I would love to build a good frozen supply.

    I would wait at least 6 weeks before starting to build a stash. I believe the recommended wait is 4-6 weeks. Pumping to soon, especially before your milk has regulated, can cause unpleasant issues with oversupply and engorgement... Ouch!
  • LC122 said:

    Exactly @tralalablah , big difference between can't/can but won't try. One difference is that the mom who can't knows that she would have done all she could have to try to give her baby the best possible option. And maybe there aren't enough S+TMs on here for this to come out, but some of the ones that can't get angry that someone just wouldn't. There will inevitably be some of those in this group next year.

    @lupita99 , not only is it ok, I think you're a perfect example of someone who overcame obstacles and made it work. You stayed committed to making the best choice you could. And y'all is a word. Truth. Props for correctly punctuating it too.

    Back to the topic at hand... I had a brief (couple weeks) period during which breastfeeding was uncomfortable. It was more like my nipples were adjusting to it. After that it was smooth sailing...until teeth came in, but that was quickly remedied too, so don't let that be a deterrent. I would say that pumping during that uncomfortable time was probably less painful but I was never a big pumper. I never yielded as much and I preferred not having to worry about storage and bottles and all that unless we were going somewhere that I just preferred having pumped milk available (for my husband to help or whatever).

    How was the teeth problem remedied?
  • I didn't get to breast feed with my first. I did with my 2nd! Best feeling in the world! I cant wait to do it again! I'm a preachers wife so modesty is a very big thing but I look at it as feed my baby and if people have a problem with they can look the other way!
  • LC122LC122 member
    @BrookeBrown2015 , good question, thanks for asking.
    The thing with teeth is that they are new to the baby too, so it's not like they are trying to hurt you; they are just exploring and, well, teething. The other thing, at least for my kids, is that the age at which their teeth started coming in (6-7 months) was also a time that they are capable of understanding a lot more (ie "no"). Basically, if/when the baby would bite me, I would say firmly "no" and remove baby from breast momentarily. The baby wants to nurse much more than they want to explore with their teeth, so they quickly learn that biting = removal from breast and they stop.

    It's definitely not comfortable to get bitten, but it also quickly resolves. Some women stop breastfeeding out of fear of getting bitten but it is a pretty easy fix.

    Babies also start solid foods around that time and are more than happy to explore foods with their teeth/gums.
  • What about pumping? Is that a happy medium for you OP? I'm sorry if you already answered this question. there was A LOT to read and it all became a blur. But that sounds like a happy medium. Baby would get the better nutrients and you wouldn't have to BF. 



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  • MorganW24 said:

    sarahgn said:

    From experienced BF moms here, when were you able to start pumping? I'll be able to have 12 weeks off before I return to work, I would love to build a good frozen supply.

    I would wait at least 6 weeks before starting to build a stash. I believe the recommended wait is 4-6 weeks. Pumping to soon, especially before your milk has regulated, can cause unpleasant issues with oversupply and engorgement... Ouch!
    That doesn't sound like too much fun, thanks for the into. I am taking a breastfeeding class per my OB's suggestion when my due date is closer, but it's always nice to know what to expect because I'm a planner. Lol
  • @Jonesy288  I thought about pumping only but honestly, I would rather not. It's just not something I want to do. I have it in my mind to Formula feed and I'm perfectly ok with that. It's what I grew up with and it's what I know. And I seriously thought about breastfeeding and giving it a try but in the end, I don't want to and I no longer feel bad about that. My baby will still be healthy and that's all that matters. I appreciate your question though. Thanks

    And to @LC122  I appreciate your comment to. And I know in my original post I had said that I was scared but that was just an excuse I was giving myself to just not want to. I thought it was bad at first. Until I found others who were in the same boat as me. I am not scared and I'm not breastfeeding out of fear. Because I seriously considered it. But like I said, in the end it comes down to just not wanting to. I have no desire to breastfeed in the least bit. And that's it. Thanks for your input.
  • @sassyfrass321 Listen, I'm glad you looked into your options and then decided what you feel is best for you. I'm sure your baby will be happy, healthy and intelligent either way.  :) 
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  • I am in your boat, and I realize I will probably get slammed for saying I don't want to breast feed, but honestly it's your own choice and anyone who shames you for it is just plain rude. Everyone has their own choice. Mine is to formula feed because I'm just plain not comfortable with breast feeding and I don't care if people shame me for it, it's my body, it's my knowledge and it's my choice. Plain and simple. Nobody should influence you to do either, your body, your choice. I know the research, but I also was formula fed and I'm pretty damn healthy and smart.
  • Breastfeeding has so many more things for your baby than formula can offer. It won't hurt as long as your baby puts your whole nipple in his/her mouth. There are classes you can take for breastfeeding and they'll go over the ins and outs with you! Not to mention it will cost way less, you'll have a stronger connection with your baby, and formula makes small incisions in the baby's intestines that can cause them severe pain :( Hope this helps!
  • kmvansi said:

    Breastfeeding has so many more things for your baby than formula can offer. It won't hurt as long as your baby puts your whole nipple in his/her mouth. There are classes you can take for breastfeeding and they'll go over the ins and outs with you! Not to mention it will cost way less, you'll have a stronger connection with your baby, and formula makes small incisions in the baby's intestines that can cause them severe pain :( Hope this helps!

    Where is is research that proves formula makes incisions in the intestine? I have never heard this.
  • kmvansi said:
    Breastfeeding has so many more things for your baby than formula can offer. It won't hurt as long as your baby puts your whole nipple in his/her mouth. There are classes you can take for breastfeeding and they'll go over the ins and outs with you! Not to mention it will cost way less, you'll have a stronger connection with your baby, and formula makes small incisions in the baby's intestines that can cause them severe pain :( Hope this helps!
    image


    Wait wait wait wait wait WHAT? What are your sources? Please share this info. I've never ever ever ever ever heard this before. I must read this for myself. This seems a bit ridiculous, especially as many of the women on here have themselves said that they were formula fed as babies. Also, some women can't breast feed, so they use formula. I highly doubt that formula would still be on the market if this happened. 


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  • @Mizuiro007 Sorry, I didn't get to read all of the comments about your trouble with BF and wasn't sure if you had mentioned the reason? We're you by any chance talking about PKU? I apologize if this is totally out there or completely not right lol

    The reason I'm wondering is because I have a niece and nephew who have PKU so I definitely know the struggles. I'm a carrier, although I don't know about my husband but I do get a bit scared thinking about our LO having PKU. I've seen how hard it can get especially with all the special formulas, making sure every gram is accounted for. I get so stressed thinking about it. When my mom and I babysat, it was just so different. It was the first time our family had really dealt with PKU, it opened my eyes and I ended up doing a PowerPoint presentation on it when I was in med school =]
    If this is totally not what you dealt with I completely apologize for my rambling lol
  • I did a search on this and nothing came up. Again, I would like to know the source @kmvansi to read for myself. Otherwise, we have to assume you are spreading ignorance.
  • Ladies, I have to assume that this poster is either blindly spreading misinformation or is intentionally trying to stir up MUD.  No matter what your stance is on breast/formula, I think that we can all agree that inventing "information" and using fear tactics to try to spread your opinion and beliefs is not okay.  Unfortunately, I don't think that ignorance is reportable. I certainly hope that no one takes her statement as a fact.  I will gladly edit this statement if I am proven wrong by factual evidence from a non-biased scientific study.  
  • I 100% have no interest in breastfeeding. I might pump, but there are options for a reason
  • @beccabeeee It was protein intolerance, not PKU. I don't mind you asking at all. I have no experience with PKU but from reading I can understand your worry. It's my understanding PKU testing is done under routine newborn screening?
  • I've not read all the replies but from my personal experience you should do whatever works best for you and your baby.
    I tried to breast feed my first and 'failed', baby was latched on perfectly (I stayed in hospital for 4 days to perfect it!) but still it was the most painful thing ive ever experienced. My nipples bled so much that when my baby brought up any milk it was a pinky/red because of my bleeding nipples. It got to the point where I would lie in bed sobbing because I dreaded my baby waking up because I had to feed him. So for my own mental well being we decided to give him a formula bottle and it was the best decision I made! I felt like I could finally start to enjoy my baby and a huge black cloud lifted! I was also able to express some milk which didn't hurt at all once I'd healed a bit.

    It still makes me sad when I see my friends able to breast feed so easily when I found it so difficult but I really think people should give it a go and if it works great and if not then don't beat yourself up about it.
  • @beccabeeee It was protein intolerance, not PKU. I don't mind you asking at all. I have no experience with PKU but from reading I can understand your worry. It's my understanding PKU testing is done under routine newborn screening?
    It is. My SO has PKU and because of that, I'm currently being tested as a carrier. They test for PKU as well as cystic fibrosis via heel prick (?) when the baby is born.
    (sorry I jumped in, I just have experience with it :) )
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  • No matter how much research you do, you will always find that breastfeeding your baby is better for baby. However, if you don't feel like it's your thing then don't do it. You can always give it a try in the beginning. It will hurt a little for the first few weeks but that goes away! You have to do what you feel is best for you! So good luck! Breast or bottle, just feed that little baby when the time comes
  • @caitlyn5454 No need to apologize at all. Thank you for the information.
  • tralalablah  Thanks--but no.  It was purely a milk supply issue on my part.  Palate, tongue, lips, and latch were all fine.  People don't always realize that even though nature makes the body able to breastfeed, sometimes (for no apparent reason whatsoever) it doesn't work like it should.

    But you make a good point that sometimes breastfeeding issues can be due to medical reasons.  If you want to breastfeed and can't seem to make it work, there might be someone out there (lactation consultant, pediatrician, etc) that can help make it happen.

  • I'm a FTM and plan okay breastfeeding. However, I do have an inverted nipple and with my experiencing as a nurse on Postpartum ward this can make it pretty difficult. However I plan on trying anything anyways.

    On the other hand, my mom formula fed all her kids and we turned out fine. She didn't feel comfortable with it and that was her decision. Yes, breastfeeding had more health benefits and yes, it is cheaper... But sometimes it's about being comfortable with what you have to do multiple times a day.
  • I was a young mother when I had my first child and did not think to breastfeed. For my second child I was 15 years older and wanted nothing but to nurse. Now, I am pregnant with my third and will also breastfeed this baby. From my personal experience, it is a wonderful feeling being able to provide for my baby in a way that no one else can. It is a lot of hard work and sometimes can be embarrassing out in public but the end result is the bigger picture. The bond I have with my second child is so much different than my first. The benefits do out way the cons. I nursed for almost two years and pumped for a year. In the end you will do what's best for you and your baby. It's worth given it a try.
  • The first month was a killer on my nipples but once I got over that hurdle, the pain was gone.
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