Yes totally agree with @DaphneMoon1. If you are reasonable with how you will parent it usually all works out but no one ever knows what every situation will be like with their children. And sometimes things change with different kids!
There is a lot of judgement that goes on prior to having kids. Some I think is ok.
We had a friend live with us and dinner times are sometimes a challenge here. I told him it's OK to think our kids are crazy and his will never act like that or he won't want to have kids!
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I can't sleep with the baby in our bed. My SO and I would crush her/him. I do have a spare bed that I will be "lounging" aka comatosing on while attempting to breast feed.
As an FTM I am totally going with the flow. I barely even believe I'm pregnant half the time, and have to remind myself to be weary of certain things. But after some reading, A lot of talking with friends and family, and ideas and opinions I have read on here, I am going with a "most things in moderation" or as I feel comfortable view point. No I won't drink alcohol, even a small glass, because Im just not comfortable, but I don't think poorly of those who do. I have a small cup of coffee here and there, and I eat soft cheese - because almost all cheese sold in Canada is regulated to have pasteurized milk in it. When Im not sure of something, I read up on it, just so I can make an informed choice.
When it comes to the bigger issues, Although I am more of an organized A type personality, for the sake of my anxiety and stress level, I am still trying to just go with it. My Best friend has had two babies and I think the best thing I ever learned from her was her attitude towards some important issues. She wanted to deliver naturally with no meds, and she wanted to win at breastfeeding. BUT she always said, that was what she wanted and she would learn everything she could to be successful, but she was not going to settle on these things so definitively, that if in the end, one or both of those things didn't happen, she'd be disappointed in herself. You try your best, you do what you can, and whatever happens, you find a way to make it work. I loved that thinking, and I am trying to stick to that.
There are a lot of things, I'd like to say I'll never do, but I know, kids are unpredictable, and sometimes we sell our soul to make them happy. The only one thing I can say we will TRY to never do, is let the baby sleep in our bed. My Husband is a Firefighter, and his very first emergency call was a suffocated baby. Out of everything he has seen on the job in 7 years, thats the one thing he cannot let go of. It is very important to him that we will not do this. So I will do my best to honour his wish, and trust me, I worry about the nights when he is at work and I am alone with an infant, doing night time feedings, and trying to stay awake to get baby back into bed.
Edited to add: Whats that accronym used for the way too long posts? lol
I have never heard of Elf on a Shelf before....
I also grew up Jewish and did not find it a big deal to not believe in Santa or be getting gifts from him.
We did the Tooth Fairy thing, but I always knew it was my mother but I kind of just went along with it. She was so excited about it.
I kind if feel like Santa when I laugh because of the way pregnancy makes my belly jiggle. I think I need to film it.
I guess my UO is that I don't really think it matters whether you tell your kids Santa is real or not. They will be happy to be getting the gifts.
On the other hand, the Jimmy Kimmel parents eating the Halloween candy I think is just so awful. Though, I think it would be a fascinating study to track these kids into adulthood and see if the different responses has any indication on success.
HOLY SMOKES I saw the videos last year of the parents eating the kids Halloween candy, and I just thought to myself that I would have been so pissed at my mom if she did that!
I have never heard of Elf on a Shelf before....
I also grew up Jewish and did not find it a big deal to not believe in Santa or be getting gifts from him.
We did the Tooth Fairy thing, but I always knew it was my mother but I kind of just went along with it. She was so excited about it.
I kind if feel like Santa when I laugh because of the way pregnancy makes my belly jiggle. I think I need to film it.
I guess my UO is that I don't really think it matters whether you tell your kids Santa is real or not. They will be happy to be getting the gifts.
On the other hand, the Jimmy Kimmel parents eating the Halloween candy I think is just so awful. Though, I think it would be a fascinating study to track these kids into adulthood and see if the different responses has any indication on success.
I think that our children being happy about "just getting gifts" is what must of us who were advocating for Santa are trying to avoid. We don't want our kids to just focus on the gift part. We want them to have a deeper understanding of the holiday. The kind of deep meaning that seems like a lot of us grew up realizing.
Edit to add: for
I totally get hating the "just you waits", sometimes people can be suuuuper annoying with how bad things will be when baby gets here. BUT, nothing went the way I thought it would with first daughter. From birth, to breastfeeding, co-sleeping, screen time, etc. Ha!
My UO: I am 100% okay with screen time when we go out to eat. We don't do it as much now that my daughter is getting closer to 6 and we can actually communicate and reason with her, but when she was 2 - 4 it provided some much needed "alone" time for husband and I. We'd sit and enjoy dinner and talk about life and marriage stuffs. I loved it.
@ChelseyBels , I used to be against screen time ( FTM, forgive me). Then I found out that one of my friends lets her kids have screen time during the summer when they get up.....at 6am. Now it sounds brilliant.
@ChelseyBels , I used to be against screen time ( FTM, forgive me). Then I found out that one of my friends lets her kids have screen time during the summer when they get up.....at 6am. Now it sounds brilliant.
My 5 year old has screen time and I'm 100% ok with it. She sometimes watches is a little in the morning and in the afternoon when her brother is napping. We all need downtime and what she watches is not hurting her in fact I think it's taught her a lot. As an early education teacher at first it freaked me out but she needs that time just to relax since she is playing and going the rest of the day.
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@jessfragione Yes! You just adjust the screen time to make it work for you. Right now we try to keep the kid's screen time to under 2 hours (she usually watches at 4pm). So, if we go to eat and she watches a show/plays games… we skip cartoons for the night. OR… if she's insane and decides to get up at 5 or 6am (OMG) she gets screen time early so I can sleep, then none at night.
@vvitchhazel Nothing too exciting. Of course on days when I'm super busy, there is drama and excitement. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in the backseat of a car right now with 5 more hours to go... I keep refreshing the threads every 5 mins. Lol. I wish I was at the pool!
@cameronreed It was wonderful! Not relaxing because of these two nuggets, but fun all the same! And not too shabby when you top it off with homemade ice cream!
You ladies must all live in warmer climates than me. I can't even imagine wearing leggings in the winter. We had a blizzard that dropped 6 ft of snow in 24 hours. Eta this past January.
I live in southern California and i cant even wear leggings in winter. Christmas day is like 70 degrees it sucks i really want a white christmas.
Late to the party but where do abouts? I'm on the central coast @sarah92544
You ladies must all live in warmer climates than me. I can't even imagine wearing leggings in the winter. We had a blizzard that dropped 6 ft of snow in 24 hours. Eta this past January.
I live in southern California and i cant even wear leggings in winter. Christmas day is like 70 degrees it sucks i really want a white christmas.
Late to the party but where do abouts? I'm on the central coast @sarah92544
How can you not like country!? I understand the hoe down stuff but do you ever just listen to the lyrics?!
Nope, I change the station. Haaaaa.
The lyrics contribute 50% of what is awful about country music to it. The other 50% is comprised of hackneyed melodies and exaggerated southern drawls. (I like hip hop. It's no better than country. Just different tastes.) :-\"
I also grew up Jewish and did not find it a big deal to not believe in Santa or be getting gifts from him.
We did the Tooth Fairy thing, but I always knew it was my mother but I kind of just went along with it. She was so excited about it.
I kind if feel like Santa when I laugh because of the way pregnancy makes my belly jiggle. I think I need to film it.
I guess my UO is that I don't really think it matters whether you tell your kids Santa is real or not. They will be happy to be getting the gifts.
On the other hand, the Jimmy Kimmel parents eating the Halloween candy I think is just so awful. Though, I think it would be a fascinating study to track these kids into adulthood and see if the different responses has any indication on success.
I think that our children being happy about "just getting gifts" is what must of us who were advocating for Santa are trying to avoid. We don't want our kids to just focus on the gift part. We want them to have a deeper understanding of the holiday. The kind of deep meaning that seems like a lot of us grew up realizing.
Edit to add: for
I get that, I was responding to the "what will scar our children less 1. Kids finding out Santa isn't real or 2. Kids not having Santa as part of their lives and feeling left out in school". The kids were getting the gifts and it was just a question of who they were receiving them from.
My sister-in-law has the kids donate new gifts they receive even on their birthdays. Generosity and not feeling entitled, rather feeling appreciative, are important year round lessons and it's great if you can use Christmas (or Santa) as a tool to impart those lessons.
How can you not like country!? I understand the hoe down stuff but do you ever just listen to the lyrics?!
Nope, I change the station. Haaaaa.
The lyrics contribute 50% of what is awful about country music to it. The other 50% is comprised of hackneyed melodies and exaggerated southern drawls. (I like hip hop. It's no better than country. Just different tastes.) :-\"
I have to say that I think country music has deteriorated in quality since the early 2000's. I love older, early 90's country - Clint Black, George Strait, Tim McGraw, Alan Jackson. But new stuff, just no. Don't even get me started on Tatlor Swift. [-X
Re: UO Thursday
There is a lot of judgement that goes on prior to having kids. Some I think is ok.
We had a friend live with us and dinner times are sometimes a challenge here. I told him it's OK to think our kids are crazy and his will never act like that or he won't want to have kids!
Nope, I change the station. Haaaaa.
DD - January 2016
I think that our children being happy about "just getting gifts" is what must of us who were advocating for Santa are trying to avoid. We don't want our kids to just focus on the gift part. We want them to have a deeper understanding of the holiday. The kind of deep meaning that seems like a lot of us grew up realizing. Edit to add: for
Nope, I change the station. Haaaaa.
The lyrics contribute 50% of what is awful about country music to it. The other 50% is comprised of hackneyed melodies and exaggerated southern drawls. (I like hip hop. It's no better than country. Just different tastes.) :-\"
I think that our children being happy about "just getting gifts" is what must of us who were advocating for Santa are trying to avoid. We don't want our kids to just focus on the gift part. We want them to have a deeper understanding of the holiday. The kind of deep meaning that seems like a lot of us grew up realizing.
Edit to add: for
I get that, I was responding to the "what will scar our children less 1. Kids finding out Santa isn't real or 2. Kids not having Santa as part of their lives and feeling left out in school". The kids were getting the gifts and it was just a question of who they were receiving them from.
My sister-in-law has the kids donate new gifts they receive even on their birthdays. Generosity and not feeling entitled, rather feeling appreciative, are important year round lessons and it's great if you can use Christmas (or Santa) as a tool to impart those lessons.
I have to say that I think country music has deteriorated in quality since the early 2000's.
I love older, early 90's country - Clint Black, George Strait, Tim McGraw, Alan Jackson.
But new stuff, just no. Don't even get me started on Tatlor Swift. [-X