Disappointed with 20 week scan experience

rainymtncountrygirl · July 2015

Just had our 20 week scan and I was so looking forward to seeing our little girl moving around and maybe even see a face! This time, baby girl was asleep for most of the scan and though they were able to determine she is healthy, which we are so excited about, I was hoping for some good shots of her. We were told the sex early on due to a blood test I had to have but yesterday were hoping to have sex confirmed at the scan. The technician told she was seated the whole time but I could feel her kicking and wanted to see that on the screen so I am confused. Also we were in a new scan room and the screen was too far from me to see. My husband could see the whole scan and even tried videotaping it for me but it came out blurry.Since this will likely be our last shot to "see" her until birth, I feel so disappointed that I wasn't able to really see anything or get any good pictures of her in the end. The technician has never been overly chatty or helpful and this really added to my disappointment. Have you guys had a similiar experience? Just wanted to voice my frustration a bit. Thanks.

misamima · July 2015

No experience, but I'm glad she's healthy.

I never recommend this, but if you're that disappointed, you can always opt to go and pay for an elective ultrasound elsewhere to take another peek.

CMDD · July 2015

I agree. You know the sex and that she's healthy and that's huge! You can feel disappointment for anything but maybe this is a good opportunity to feel gratitude for the good stuff!

spottedginger · July 2015

@rainymtncountrygirl I'm sorry that you were disappointed in your experience, but you don't mention the results of your scan- since you didn't specify, can we assume that your LO is healthy? If so, congrats! Although you didn't get the experience you were hoping for, the main point of the anatomy scan is to ensure a healthy fetus and proper development. I agree with @CMDD that gratitude for a healthy little one might outweigh your disappointment.

ammnam14 · July 2015

My last two ultrasounds she was just sleeping the day away. My husband was home and was really anxious to see her moving and squirming, so I understand your disappointment. Yesterday we paid to have another ultrasound and she was wiggly for a few minutes then cuddled up and fell asleep lol. Maybe go to a 3d place when you are further along? It would give you another chance to see your babe! Also, congrats on a healthy little one.

Jina32 · July 2015

You are not alone! Just had my 20 week yesterday and I was very disappointed...On the bright side, baby was moving all around in there, had all its parts and organs, and I'm measuring exactly on time for due date... My Dr sent us to a different place for this scan... And maybe we've been spoiled by the last place, Sonographer, and 3D pics we went to and received the last two times, but this new lady was really cold and technical... she almost seamed bored... I don't know if she had the 3D technology or not but she certainly didn't use it so all I saw on the screen were blobs and she gave us horribly lazy pics with hardly any detail... She asked about Gender and we told her we wanted to know due to a reveal party we are throwing this Saturday... After a few minutes she said baby had its legs closed and that she COULD see whether it was a boy or girl, but didn't want to make a prediction because of the closed legs

Jina32 · July 2015

Continued from previous post: My fiancé asked if there was anything we could do to get baby to move around, maybe open its legs...and she said NO which is false because at my nuchal scan they had me drink apple juice to make the baby turn over so that the Sonographer could measure the neck but whatever! I mentioned the party again thinking maybe that would make her try harder but nope.... We're going to get an elective ultrasound done on Thursday at this place in Bloomington, MN called Enlightened 4D Imaging... I told the lady over the phone the experience we had just had and about the upcoming party and she made sure to get us in... So fingers crossed!

lesmanly0506 · July 2015

My ultrasound tech was not very nice. My hubby had to ask questions to find out anything. She didn't get any food shots of baby boy not to mention it was supposed to be. 30 minute ultrasound and we were in there maybe 10 minutes.

jessejasonbaby · July 2015

Ultrasounds are not meant to be experiences for the parents. They are medical tests to determine the health of the pregnancy. You had a successful ultrasound in that your results were normal. Nothing to be disappointed about.

daylynj · July 2015

My doctor had warned me before my anatomy scan that the tech wouldn't tell us anything except the gender, because they are taking necessary measurements. Although I missed the chatty tech from ny nt scan (she told us ds was beautiful ten times...I never got tired of hearing it), she was still pleasant and was doing her job. Ds was sleeping away and wouldn't move much, so we just joke that he's stubborn already

we weren't even sure he'd let us see the sex! so happy for you that your lo is healthy though! I agree with pps and try going to a 3d place so you're able to experience and see your Dd and hopefully she'll move around a bit more

good luck!

alessalogan · July 2015

You will see the baby soon enough in real life and i know from experience that this pictures you get from the scan feel so insignifiant when you have the baby in your arms. I enjoy just feeling the baby move inside me.
We are not getting any scans, the midwife told me they are not necassary for us. (Please no bad comments about this i have been over this on the fb page)!
I wouldnt get a 3D one i have done a lot of reading about them and they dont sound so good for the baby.

kdoak2015 · July 2015

This is what I've learned during pregnancy, don't put so much thought/pressure on scans, apts etc. they never turn out the way they are suppose to and if your go in with high expectations you will likely be disappointed. You will survive not seeing your baby until it's born just be thrilled it's healthy and excited you know it's a girl.

leek71983 · July 2015

I have my scan next week and I hope my experience turns out as well as yours. Congrats on your healthy baby!

ktc18 · July 2015

I had a huuuuge latte before my scan and sure enough my super friend was moving all over the place. We are not finding out the gender so that wasn't a big deal.

Melissadmag · July 2015

Mine isn't for 5 more days but if you really want to have a fun look at her I'd suggest going to get a 3D ultrasound done. I did that at 15 weeks and it was so much fun. We got to see everything we wanted in both 2D and 3D and it was around $60 which was very worth it in my opinion. It was in a big room so we invited friends and family since the room could seat up to 25. Also, it was all recorded on a disc and we got print out pictures. It wasn't medically helpful in any way since they aren't legally allowed to point out problems, but as a fun thing it was great.

I almost forgot to say. I also drank a lot of orange juice before hand which really woke her up and she was dancing around the whole time. Something to try for the next US if there is another one.

Caligurl858 · July 2015

rainymtncountrygirl said:
Just had our 20 week scan and I was so looking forward to seeing our little girl moving around and maybe even see a face! This time, baby girl was asleep for most of the scan and though they were able to determine she is healthy, which we are so excited about, I was hoping for some good shots of her. We were told the sex early on due to a blood test I had to have but yesterday were hoping to have sex confirmed at the scan. The technician told she was seated the whole time but I could feel her kicking and wanted to see that on the screen so I am confused. Also we were in a new scan room and the screen was too far from me to see. My husband could see the whole scan and even tried videotaping it for me but it came out blurry.Since this will likely be our last shot to "see" her until birth, I feel so disappointed that I wasn't able to really see anything or get any good pictures of her in the end. The technician has never been overly chatty or helpful and this really added to my disappointment. Have you guys had a similiar experience? Just wanted to voice my frustration a bit. Thanks.

AlejandraN2 · July 2015

If you've been following the boards the last few days you'd see that there are at least 4-5 women that got less than stellar results in their ultrasounds and now have real worries beyond getting good pictures. I get that you're disappointed, but maybe this isn't the place to post about it.

Like others said, many places will do elective ultrasounds for you for a low fee if you really want good pictures. But titling a post with "disappointed at my 20 week scan experience" for bad pictures is not really a great move - personally I got immediately concerned for you and your baby, but then after reading the actual post, I just rolled my eyes at the bad pictures concern.

Regardless, I'm really happy for you for having a healthy growing baby. I wish you a smooth and healthy pregnancy.

duckinoven · July 2015

^. This. Skimming thru the post titles it sounded like something was abnormal with your baby and there were several ladies with abnormal scans and very real concerns. I'm not sure if you read through those?

@jessejasonbaby said it best. It seems to be a common misconception that anatomy scans are simply to "see the baby" rather than a medical diagnostic tool to ensure the proper development.

As PPs mention of you want a photo op of your baby in utero, pay for the elective boutique ultrasound, that's why they are in business.

Beside that, it's great news that your anatomy scan went well and your baby is healthy. I wish you a very happy and healthy second half of pregnancy

TacoSarah · July 2015

Your baby is HEALTHY. How you an be disappointed is beyond me. I went in to my anatomy scan sh!t scared that my baby may have a cleft palate and lip due to medication I take. AND I have to wait until baby is born to find out if he has inherited a genetic abnormality from me which could cause him pain and difficulty walking for the rest of his life. So your baby didn't give you dinner and a show, big deal.

Not to mention profile ultrasounds pictures all look the same, my baby looks like your baby, looks like everyone else's baby at 20 weeks. Blurry and greyscale.

Congratulations on your healthy baby girl. You have nothing to be disappointed about.

kjswan3 · July 2015

TacoSarah said:
Your baby is HEALTHY. How you an be disappointed is beyond me. I went in to my anatomy scan sh!t scared that my baby may have a cleft palate and lip due to medication I take. AND I have to wait until baby is born to find out if he has inherited a genetic abnormality from me which could cause him pain and difficulty walking for the rest of his life. So your baby didn't give you dinner and a show, big deal.
Not to mention profile ultrasounds pictures all look the same, my baby looks like your baby, looks like everyone else's baby at 20 weeks. Blurry and greyscale.
Congratulations on your healthy baby girl. You have nothing to be disappointed about.

This exactly....just from experience now...be VERY thankful that everything checked out ok! The pictures are just a bonus, but main concern in baby's overall heath.

kjswan3 · July 2015

I forgot to add one more thing....and I don't want to sound insensitive. I am very happy your baby is healthy! I think that like other pp have said you really need to look at the big picture, and especially since being on this board you should know some have already experienced losses or gut-wrenching news about the status of their baby at some point. We all hope and pray for all our babies be healthy.

Reading this post just infuriates me...take a step outside yourself and breathe in that "thankful" air. It can be hard to get caught up in "small" things. A healthy mom and baby are the only thing you could ask for in a pregnancy...all the other stuff is just that "stuff".

Sorry for the rant but I guess I am just in an emotional spot!

Beckah31 · July 2015

@katie1885 - internet hugs and prayers that baby is happy and healthy.

mowelt · July 2015

Does your ob offer extra ultrasounds that you can pay for? We did the sneak peek one this week to find out the gender at our ob office and my insurance covered most of it. I only had to pay $10 for it. They included tons of pictures printed and on a dvd and mini video clips of our baby moving. It was well worth it!

jamiemerk · July 2015

Unbelievable. I guess some people just always need something to complain about. Be happy you have a healthy baby... What a slap in the face to mothers with REAL concerns.

ashleyannhaynes · July 2015

Look, it's totally okay to be disappointed that you didn't get to see her the way you wanted. Some people on this comment thread are quick to call you out and judge you because you're disappointed, and while I disagree and think it's okay that you're disappointed, it is true that you have a healthy baby and that's something to be happy about. Celebrate the joy and try not to revel in the disappointment!

Ken122014 · July 2015

"Some people" will judge because "some people" have had real disappointments in their a/s. Like PPs have noted, there are at least 2 or 3 threads on this page about serious health concerns that came out of the a/s. Yes you can be disappointed by bad pictures, but talk to friends and family about it, complain on the u/s tech's yelp page, etc. Many women would be ecstatic to have lousy pictures and a happy healthy baby. Finding out baby was happy and healthy was the most important part of our a/s. Finding out "it" is a "she" was very exciting, but I was sure to warn my dh multiple times that we may not be able to see her sex yet, and we were both prepared that we may not find out yet.

I think OP said she is going to an ultrasound boutique, which sounds perfect for her. An a/s (as PPs have pointed out) is to determine that your fetus is healthy. An ultrasound boutique is for pictures.

Mizuiro007 · July 2015

I just wanted to say, there are two ultrasound techs at my OB's office. With two pregnancies so close I've had them each a couple of times. One is very friendly and outgoing. The other initially comes off cold and distant. I find them both to be amazing. Their personality does not mean they are not professional and knowledgeable.

One will play more to the parents and make a show. The other one has said herself that she goes in focused on the baby. The latter is the one who performed my anatomy scan with both babies and I trust her not to miss anything. I also trust she won't tell me something without 100% confidence. She was the one reassuring me when I went in thinking we were 9 weeks and got a 5 week sacred without a heartbeat, and celebrating with us two weeks later when baby had grown and had a strong heartbeat.

When you go in and see this person maybe once, you are going off of a first impression and judging them based off other people's experiences. Yes, there is the occasional tech that is unprofessional or wrong, but really... Sometimes even after trying all the "tricks" the baby still won't move.

I was disappointed this time because we could not see all organs to know for sure baby is healthy. Most likely everything is fine, but I miss the reassurance.

nik6499 · July 2015

Unfortunately our society has become so fixated on the 'experiences' that we miss the purpose of the procedures that are done. I completely understand OP disappointment, due to the distorted view that society presents about these pregnancy appointments.

I think the frustration from other posters is about the fact that these medical procedures are not for enjoyment, souvenirs or even for our enjoyment. They are done for a medical purpose, this sort of gets lost. I think these boutiques are part of the problem as well. They bring this expectation that an ultrasound appointment should be like that.

So let me share a little story with you, I have a friend who has had multiple late term losses diagnosed on the anatomy scan. She went in excited to see baby, to get pictures to find out sex. And she found out her babies had passed away. This puts it into perspective for me, because after the first experience she feared her scans. Can you imagine the terror after the second time that this happened?

I don't think that a lot of the frustration is as much with OP as with the entire misconception surrounding our prenatal care. The procedures that we receive are not done for our peace of mind, they are done to ensure that our babies are healthy and determine the need for medical intervention. If your scans go wonderfully and you have no issues it may never occur to you to think about the thousands of scans that do not go well, I get that. Having suffered multiple losses myself, my perspective is completely different now. But when I was pregnant with my first, I was too young and too naive to know that anything could go wrong. I am going to assume that this is the case for some of these situations. You have been misled by society to believe that these scans are there to serve your needs and your expectations.

chelseymmcghee · July 2015

It's always exciting to see the baby and always a blessing an relief when everything checks out as normal and healthy. I've personally never experienced a MC (though I've fallen as well as having a threatened MC) but my hearts break for those mamas who have.

I do understand though the excitement and fantasy to see the baby and hopefully get some good pictures to take home. I have used an ultrasound clinic twice this pregnancy and had sonograms done at my doctor's office twice as well! They ARE totally different "experiences". The elective clinic is more personal, relaxing, calm and an enjoyment for us- we see plenty of the baby and it's a joy! The one's with the doctor are obviously primarily for medical reasons so it's a little to straight to the fact, in and out, not much ooooooing and awhhhing.

If you're seeking a different experience, I'd highly recommend a good clinic! The one we go to is amazing! I can only speak for that one in particular, but if you find a good one, it's amazing!

Congrats on a healthy baby!

slabancz · July 2015

Reading the title I really thought some bad news happened to you at your appt and I was prepared to give you encourageament because I myself didn't get the all clear from my scan. I actually have to go tomorrow and have some high risk Drs scan me and to see this was pretty much about pics and movement is a disappointment to say the least. I am very glad that you were blessed with a HEALTHY baby and I hope the rest of your pregnancy is blessed with health for baby and you, but I would seriously consider changing the title.

josiesanderson · July 2015

You ladies are savage, leave OP alone! Maybe she didn't word it right but I believe she got that the first or maybe the third time. This could be her first and she could have been told by friends all there wonderful experiences and had high expectations.
Hence " disappointment"
You sound like you guys are shaming a child honestly it's pretty over the top. I also have no idea what you're going on about with the title being wrong because I didn't think anything was wrong with baby reading it? Disappointed with the experience . Well that's exactly what this post is about hey.
If something was wrong with baby im sure it would say, devastated, or advice, or anyone been in a similar situation and name said problem like others posted. Not disappointed with expierience. Put the claws away ladies.

spottedginger · July 2015

josiesanderson said:
You ladies are savage, leave OP alone! Maybe she didn't word it right but I believe she got that the first or maybe the third time. This could be her first and she could have been told by friends all there wonderful experiences and had high expectations.
Hence " disappointment"
You sound like you guys are shaming a child honestly it's pretty over the top. I also have no idea what you're going on about with the title being wrong because I didn't think anything was wrong with baby reading it? Disappointed with the experience . Well that's exactly what this post is about hey.
If something was wrong with baby im sure it would say, devastated, or advice, or anyone been in a similar situation and name said problem like others posted. Not disappointed with expierience. Put the claws away ladies.

I think you missed the point of what was being said. When given some insight regarding the purpose of the anatomy scan and hearing stories of other mothers facing real issues or losses as diagnosed in their anatomy scans, perhaps the OP can find a bit more gratitude for the diagnosis of a healthy fetus and put her disappointment into perspective.

misamima · July 2015

josiesanderson said:

You ladies are savage, leave OP alone! Maybe she didn't word it right but I believe she got that the first or maybe the third time. This could be her first and she could have been told by friends all there wonderful experiences and had high expectations. Hence " disappointment" You sound like you guys are shaming a child honestly it's pretty over the top. I also have no idea what you're going on about with the title being wrong because I didn't think anything was wrong with baby reading it? Disappointed with the experience . Well that's exactly what this post is about hey. If something was wrong with baby im sure it would say, devastated, or advice, or anyone been in a similar situation and name said problem like others posted. Not disappointed with expierience. Put the claws away ladies.

adecembermom2015 · July 2015

monaclemere · July 2015

Jeez. Enough already. I'm pretty sure OP stated she knew she was lucky that the baby was healthy and that was most important.

Not everything on this board has to be a contest over who has it the worst and who's suffered the most.

I never enjoy my anatomy scan, I work in a NICU where all the things that can go wrong and be found during that scan are right in my face. I'm constantly reminded of the potential problems and how devastating it can be-- but I totally understand people having expectations of getting a good look at their baby and getting good pictures. It's ok to feel bummed when it didn't turn out as good as you hoped. Yes, others have gotten worse news. That doesn't mean people can't be dissatisfied with an experience that didn't measure up.

misamima · July 2015

monaclemere said:

Jeez. Enough already. I'm pretty sure OP stated she knew she was lucky that the baby was healthy and that was most important.

Not everything on this board has to be a contest over who has it the worst and who's suffered the most.

I never enjoy my anatomy scan, I work in a NICU where all the things that can go wrong and be found during that scan are right in my face. I'm constantly reminded of the potential problems and how devastating it can be-- but I totally understand people having expectations of getting a good look at their baby and getting good pictures. It's ok to feel bummed when it didn't turn out as good as you hoped. Yes, others have gotten worse news. That doesn't mean people can't be dissatisfied with an experience that didn't measure up.

This isn't the point of an anatomy scan. It's not for a parent's enjoyment or experience. This is strictly for medical purposes. Not for funsies.

Mizuiro007 · July 2015

I agree with @spottedginger. I didn't see any of the posts as attacks. I do see how they could be seen that way. This happens again and again on many threads. A lot is lost in text when you can't hear tone or know the intention of the person writing it. Before you get defensive I suggest taking a break then coming back calm and rereading with a neutral tone to see if it changes how the post sounds.

monaclemere · July 2015

misamima said:

monaclemere said:

Jeez. Enough already. I'm pretty sure OP stated she knew she was lucky that the baby was healthy and that was most important.

Not everything on this board has to be a contest over who has it the worst and who's suffered the most.

I never enjoy my anatomy scan, I work in a NICU where all the things that can go wrong and be found during that scan are right in my face. I'm constantly reminded of the potential problems and how devastating it can be-- but I totally understand people having expectations of getting a good look at their baby and getting good pictures. It's ok to feel bummed when it didn't turn out as good as you hoped. Yes, others have gotten worse news. That doesn't mean people can't be dissatisfied with an experience that didn't measure up.

This isn't the point of an anatomy scan. It's not for a parent's enjoyment or experience. This is strictly for medical purposes. Not for funsies.

I guess you didn't bother to read my post. I know that. I work in a huge NICU that cares for the sickest newborns imaginable. I 100% understand the purpose of the anatomy scan and am faced with the reality of it every day. But even with my knowledge and experience, I can still be understanding and sympathetic that someone was hoping for an enjoyable experience where they get a good look at their baby and get a few keepsake photos.

Get over yourself.

adecembermom2015 · July 2015

@misamima oh no she didn't! Want me to take my earrings out?

monaclemere · July 2015

nik6499 · July 2015

It's funny when other people are rude, whilst calling other people rude.......... I guess it can only go one way?

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