I just realized a couple years ago that dachshund is pronounced like dox-in. I thought it was pronounced dash-hound and 'doxin' was just a sort of nickname. I'm 28.
Also, all the Jackalope stuff was cracking me up. Where I am from we have stores called Jackalope, I always new they were made up. So I didn't really think about it. Just thought they were kind of modeled after a Jack Rabbit.
No shittin way. I just learned something.... I thought the same thing as you. I'm 34. Dumbfounded.
I just realized a couple years ago that dachshund is pronounced like dox-in. I thought it was pronounced dash-hound and 'doxin' was just a sort of nickname. I'm 28.
Also, all the Jackalope stuff was cracking me up. Where I am from we have stores called Jackalope, I always new they were made up. So I didn't really think about it. Just thought they were kind of modeled after a Jack Rabbit.
No shittin way. I just learned something.... I thought the same thing as you. I'm 34. Dumbfounded.
Right? I'm so glad I am not the only one! It just dawned on me one day, as I was saying dash-hound. I felt like a total dummy for saying dash-hound in front of people. Ha ha
My husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) wanted to make spaghetti sauce.... I somehow never realized you could make it.... I somehow thought it automatically came in jars??
I used to think that the number of children you had equalled the number of times you did the deed... I didn't realize until I was about 14 I that people had sex for fun!
Omg some of these are just too good ! Lots of funny stories here. The only one I can think to add is when I was 15 I realized that stuff came out of a penis LOL young and curious ">
I learned at 28 that not all cows with "horns" are Boys, I had thought my entire life that a cow with horns was a male and all the ones without where female.... Dating a dairy farmer for a few years thought me a lot ....
There is such thing as smashed potatoes. I read your posts and I felt like I was in the twilight zone. You can have smashed or mashed potatoes, but one is not the other
At age 18 I realized that getting your "second wind" was actually not called getting your "sack of wind".
It is going to be difficult to resist bringing this up while coaching. We say "second wind" fairly often, and I'll just be thinking of "sack of wind" the whole time! This one definitely made me laugh loud enough for DH to come check it out!
There is such thing as smashed potatoes. I read your posts and I felt like I was in the twilight zone. You can have smashed or mashed potatoes, but one is not the other
Lol dang now I have to apologize for laughing so hard at him . :P "sack of wind" has me cracking up over here .
Until I was an older teen I used to think that men ejaculated at the start of sex and that was what provided the lubrication... I guess I should have paid more attention in Sex Ed?
I was a teenager before I realized that chocolate milk didn't come from a different type of cow. It came in a milk jug just like regular milk so I just assumed...
Love this post! Mine is BAD and an example of why you should teach your children the proper terms for their private parts. I thought p*ssy was the real name for female genetalia is until I was in 4th grade. My friend called it a vagina and I thought she made it up and didn't believe her.
I never learned how to pump gas until I had my first car...at 19. I was on E and didn't realize that was something that needed to be done. THANKS MOM AND DAD!
I also didn't know milk came out of our breasts more so like a sponge and not a stream like a cow's udders. Thank god I said something to my doctor lmao she was like "no dear...." and laughed at me 3:-O
These are fantastic! I was just talking my friend about these and she said "remember in 4th grade when you thought it was cowwebs instead of cobwebs and everyone laughed at you"
I also didn't know milk came out of our breasts more so like a sponge and not a stream like a cow's udders. Thank god I said something to my doctor lmao she was like "no dear...." and laughed at me 3:-O
Wow. I never really thought about it before but I was also picturing a stream . Just Wow.
The dachshund one makes me laugh. Because my 35-yo DH asked me how to say it not long ago! He would just say Weiner dog when referring to them.
There were a lot of things that I didn't realize until I lived in the city (rather than our farm) and travelled outside of the U.S. Like how public transportation works. Or that some people don't own cars! I also never saw a dubbed over movie until I went to Germany. I just assumed that people either didn't get to see a movie that was foreign or they remade it (with new actors, etc) for the other language.
@Gingerella8 the reason I asked about it coming out in a stream? I had my nipples pierced and assumed it would be coming out like a dam sprung a leak from multiple holes! I told my mom the same day and her response was "oh COME ON!" lol I'M SO EMBARRASSED
@BrooklynBroussard I didn't realize cats had genitalia until high school. I always had dogs growing up and you can see their parts...cats are like asexual teddy bears. I actually Googled "cat penis " because I'd never known until my best friend told me that they had them. That was after I turned Salem on his back and checked for a penis. OOPS!
I thought it was called the "Specific Ocean" instead of the "Pacific Ocean". I learned this after a test I took in junior high...my mom is friends with my teacher from that class and I still never hear the end of it. We had to label all of the oceans, seas, and gulfs on that test. I got every single other one right. I even spelled "Mediterranean" correctly but somehow couldn't manage Pacific...
I didn't think I had one that I'm already aware of...I'm sure something would come up at some point. Well, I thought of one that my husband will never let me live down. I'm a science, language, arts person. History and math are not my thing. Well, I think it was college or shortly after that I learned that Pearl Harbor is in Hawaii and not New England! Oops!
My mom learned from an adult me, that the second hand on the clock counts the seconds within a minute. She always thought first hand, second hand, third hand. Lol!
My brother learned in high school that it's "play it by ear" and not "play it by year".
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Another one. When I was about 6 or 7 my Mom had a list on the refrigerator of things to do when you get bored in the summer. One of the things was to "paint nails". I always thought this meant paint construction type nails - which I could not understand why anyone would ever want to do that. Fast forward to one day in college when I was randomly thinking about that list and realized she meant paint your fingernails. Aha!
I never learned how to pump gas until I had my first car...at 19. I was on E and didn't realize that was something that needed to be done. THANKS MOM AND DAD!
I had my license and first car for probably a year before I knew how to pump gas! In my defense, I live in a small town in SC, where we still had gas attendants until I was an adult. One night I was out with friends and had to get gas a couple of towns away that didn't have attendants, so my friend's boyfriend had to teach me to pump gas. Good thing I learned before I moved away to college
My husband has always wanted to go to Alaska. Over the past year or so, we've been researching cruises. You can either go out of Seattle, WA or by train from Vancouver. I couldn't figure out for the life of me how you could take a train to an island...
My husband laughed hysterically when he told me alaska is not an island.
I'm 28 years old. I graduated with a bachelors degree and 4.0 GPA and am currently working on my masters with a 4.0. I'm not dumb by any means, but clearly geography isn't my thing!
I got my licence after 5 months and 28 days (in New South Wales, Australia, we usually have to have our learners permit for 12 months) and had skipped a few vital lessons - like where the petrol goes into the car. I was out with a friend and neither of us had a clue where the petrol went, so I lifted the bonnet and was looking where it goes in when the petrol attendant came running out screaming at me to put the nozzle down. I was 24 and was very nearly arrested for it.
When I was about 22, I learned that there are actually three holes "down there" not just two. I thought one was for number ones, and the other was for number twos. I'm a prude and have never looked down there, but was informed by an entire group of friends that I was very much wrong.
I also found out that boys don't loose their penises for playing with them too much and become girls at about 12. We are born that way. Oh lord, that was embarrassing. I've never forgiven my eldest sister for mis-informing me about that one.
And I have a 'genius' IQ. Be afraid. Be very afraid. There are so many more that I could share
I can't think of one personally, which probably means I'm still living some sort of lie. But I do have a friend who recently told me "I just found out it's ok to pee while you're in the shower. It just washes down the drain." I had to explain to her that while yes, it will wash down the drain, it's still probably not the best idea. Just go before you get in sweetheart haha! My favorite though: my SO had his mom send us some of his baby/early childhood photos and while going through them I had to stop and say "wtf is that?" As I pointed to HIS RAT TAIL!!!!! He tried to tell me that his hair just naturally grew that way. Um no babe, that's just your moms excuse for allowing you to grow an f-ing rat tail!!! He even tried to have me look at the back of his head to make sure that patch just doesn't grow faster. In case any of you were curious, it doesn't.
For a long time, I didn't understand how the banking system worked. My parents would take me to the bank as a little girl to deposit money. I thought that, after I left, the bank teller would take my twenty dollar bill and walk to the back room where there were tons of small boxes. I thought she would find the box with my name on it and put my money in there until I came to take it back out. I was much older when I realized it was all computerized lol. Ironically I ended up working for a bank for eight years.
When I was about 22, I learned that there are actually three holes "down there" not just two. I thought one was for number ones, and the other was for number twos. I'm a prude and have never looked down there, but was informed by an entire group of friends that I was very much wrong.
There is an episode of OITNB proves you are totally not the only one that had struggled with the hole issue. Love it.
Re: Things you learned at an inappropriately old age (stolen from another board)
No shittin way. I just learned something.... I thought the same thing as you. I'm 34. Dumbfounded.
No shittin way. I just learned something.... I thought the same thing as you. I'm 34. Dumbfounded.
Right? I'm so glad I am not the only one! It just dawned on me one day, as I was saying dash-hound. I felt like a total dummy for saying dash-hound in front of people. Ha ha
The only one I can think to add is when I was 15 I realized that stuff came out of a penis LOL young and curious
And this wasn't me, but last year, a coworker of mine who's about the same age as me learned for the first time that soy sauce is made from soybeans!
Lol dang now I have to apologize for laughing so hard at him . :P "sack of wind" has me cracking up over here .
THIS! I am now enlightened! I was trying to think of something to add...well now my mind is blown. =D>
Mine is BAD and an example of why you should teach your children the proper terms for their private parts. I thought p*ssy was the real name for female genetalia is until I was in 4th grade. My friend called it a vagina and I thought she made it up and didn't believe her.
I also didn't know milk came out of our breasts more so like a sponge and not a stream like a cow's udders. Thank god I said something to my doctor lmao she was like "no dear...." and laughed at me 3:-O
So I guess there is another one of mine.
There were a lot of things that I didn't realize until I lived in the city (rather than our farm) and travelled outside of the U.S.
Like how public transportation works.
Or that some people don't own cars!
I also never saw a dubbed over movie until I went to Germany. I just assumed that people either didn't get to see a movie that was foreign or they remade it (with new actors, etc) for the other language.
My mom learned from an adult me, that the second hand on the clock counts the seconds within a minute. She always thought first hand, second hand, third hand. Lol!
My brother learned in high school that it's "play it by ear" and not "play it by year".
My husband laughed hysterically when he told me alaska is not an island.
I'm 28 years old. I graduated with a bachelors degree and 4.0 GPA and am currently working on my masters with a 4.0. I'm not dumb by any means, but clearly geography isn't my thing!
I got my licence after 5 months and 28 days (in New South Wales, Australia, we usually have to have our learners permit for 12 months) and had skipped a few vital lessons - like where the petrol goes into the car. I was out with a friend and neither of us had a clue where the petrol went, so I lifted the bonnet and was looking where it goes in when the petrol attendant came running out screaming at me to put the nozzle down. I was 24 and was very nearly arrested for it.
When I was about 22, I learned that there are actually three holes "down there" not just two. I thought one was for number ones, and the other was for number twos. I'm a prude and have never looked down there, but was informed by an entire group of friends that I was very much wrong.
I also found out that boys don't loose their penises for playing with them too much and become girls at about 12. We are born that way. Oh lord, that was embarrassing. I've never forgiven my eldest sister for mis-informing me about that one.
And I have a 'genius' IQ. Be afraid. Be very afraid. There are so many more that I could share
My favorite though: my SO had his mom send us some of his baby/early childhood photos and while going through them I had to stop and say "wtf is that?" As I pointed to HIS RAT TAIL!!!!! He tried to tell me that his hair just naturally grew that way. Um no babe, that's just your moms excuse for allowing you to grow an f-ing rat tail!!! He even tried to have me look at the back of his head to make sure that patch just doesn't grow faster. In case any of you were curious, it doesn't.
Also as a teenager I didn't realize you had to change the oil on a car until I blew out the engine on my first car. Whoops!