Yes! I honestly thought I would receive those comments from the opposite sex and women who weren't pregnant. I didn't realize I would hear it from other pregnant women!
Someone I've never seen contribute messaged me about me having patience with duplicate posters. Do I come off as mean or angry? I only say something to try to improve the situation. I might stop posting of people start policing our board.
You don't come off as mean or angry at all. You're extremely respectful and thoughtful. If they think that you don't have any patience, they should've seen this board a few months ago.
But of course pregnant women are just bitchy and hormonal anyway so whatevs. :-/ :-S
O'15 September Siggy Challenge -- Third Trimester Woes
Someone I've never seen contribute messaged me about me having patience with duplicate posters. Do I come off as mean or angry? I only say something to try to improve the situation. I might stop posting of people start policing our board.
You don't come off as mean or angry at all. You're extremely respectful and thoughtful. If they think that you don't have any patience, they should've seen this board a few months ago.
But of course pregnant women are just bitchy and hormonal anyway so whatevs. :-/ :-S
So I have mixed feelings about the duplicate post thing. It sometimes rubs me the wrong way to see regular posters tell new posters to search first, for a couple of reasons. First, I am a shy person and have always felt weird about "fitting in" to a new group. Once I feel like I am accepted, I feel confident and able to participate fully, but before that, I am unsure and a bit anxious. This mostly goes for real life, but it may be even more pronounced in an Internet group like this where there is a total lack of tone and other cues. I lurked a lot before posting much, and every time I saw "please search first, we have too many of these" I sort of cringed on the inside. It made me nervous to post for fear or breaching etiquette or annoying someone. So I empathize with those who feel that even a politely worded "please search" is a bit of a reprimand.
The other reason it rubs me the wrong way is that none of us are obligated to click on or read these duplicates, so it doesn't really harm anything that I can see. I don't click on "what sex is this" or other redundant posts, so they don't bother me.
It probably also bugs me because I genuinely tried to use the search function here several times - I am not a technological idiot, and I really wanted to play by the rules, but it's really not that intuitive to make it to the advanced search to narrow it down to our board. You'd think a simple label saying "advanced search" would be easy to implement, right?
All that to say, I think this is a lovely place, @BrooklynBroussard, you are a super helpful poster with even-keeled responses, and I think "stop being bitchy" posts are totally uncalled for. Just giving a little alternate perspective.
Edit: iPhones be crazy.
The repeat threads are annoying. I actually searched and found a couple of posts that had to do with what I was looking for (found a focus on baby girl's heart) and the thread immediately got pushed down because of repeat posts. I was nervous and worried, looking for the support that all the ladies have been amazing at giving, but no one saw it because of the other ones. This is one of the nicest boards in how the ladies talk about the rules and explain it to new users. I feel like I have missed something, because I haven't seen the ladies of this board get nasty.
@leighann1 When someone posts a question and we let them know there is a previous thread, it's not to be rude but to help them find the information they are looking for rather than having everyone post the same answers several times. A lot of us are FTMs and have a million questions, but there is a lot of great answers in previous threads.
@MelMel92 I get not getting your puppy from a puppy mill. They are horrid horrid places, but don't those pups need to be rescued too?! I am just curious, how do you save animals from places like that as well? I am way too much of an animal lover, our house is full of furry creatures.
The best way to get those animals rescued seems to be to alert animal police. When the mill gets shut down, the dogs are taken in by shelters/humane societies, where they'll get a chance to be adopted and rescued. Sadly, if you "rescue" them straight from the mill, you are financially supporting that mill and making sure that more dogs and pups end up in that situation, which isnt what anyone rescueing a pet wants to happen!
Ok, cool. That is what I figured, but wasn't sure. It's so hard to tell sometimes! They are pretty good at masquerading as breeders. I sometimes wonder if the 'breeder' my husband got our boxer from wasn't a puppy mill. He got her right when we started dating so I showed up to his house and there she was! So tiny and cute, but way too little to be away from mom (5 ish weeks) and not papered. He saw the mom and dad, so maybe they were people breeding without a license (hopefully not a puppy mill!). Our lab was papered and sounds like she came from a more reputable breeder (again, she came along before the me and the boxer). I just want to save all the animals!
***We have boxers and our girl boxer came to our family at four weeks due to her mom being hit by a car. They are awesome pets, but our girl is socially different than our male and I feel it's because she didn't get what they normally learn from momma dog.
My UO, I'm having a natural birth and I don't want a doula. Many friends have had success with them and I even have a friend who is a doula but after much research i have decided that senario just doesn't gel with my personality type. But an educated opinion that effects no one but myself seems to be more than some people can handle. One friend actually said to my face, "You don't know what you're getting into, you'll give up on a natural birth if you don't have someone there to help." Gosh, thanks for the vote of confidence!
Isn't it our husbands/ s,o's jobs to be that support and not let you give up on what you want?
@BrooklynBroussard Girl, you really need to stop with all those well thought out posts that try and help people while also lifting the general mood. Theyre extremely offensive and we all have major issues with them. [-X
@mrsdhouse89 Awww, poor pup! Boxers are so great. They are hysterical. My husband had read that they are really silly, so that was why he got her. And that has been so true. She is the sweetest and silliest (sometimes weirdest) dog.
@leighann1 When someone posts a question and we let them know there is a previous thread, it's not to be rude but to help them find the information they are looking for rather than having everyone post the same answers several times. A lot of us are FTMs and have a million questions, but there is a lot of great answers in previous threads.
Oh, I know that! I just wanted to give some perspective on why it might be taken that way by a new or infrequent poster.
@BrooklynBroussard-you should have sent that person my way. I feel like I hate dup threads as much as the next person! I don't know if there ever is a good way to let the person know....especially if they are newer. I hate to make waves. I just try to comment to their thread with some back threads links for them to read so that they don't miss out on any info. My polite way of saying Hey we've talked about this already. I hardly every start a thread because just about every topic has been brought up so far.
Now we have another "etiquette" thread that does nothing but cause more drama....but asking for the drama to stop.
My UO, I'm having a natural birth and I don't want a doula. Many friends have had success with them and I even have a friend who is a doula but after much research i have decided that senario just doesn't gel with my personality type. But an educated opinion that effects no one but myself seems to be more than some people can handle. One friend actually said to my face, "You don't know what you're getting into, you'll give up on a natural birth if you don't have someone there to help." Gosh, thanks for the vote of confidence!
Isn't it our husbands/ s,o's jobs to be that support and not let you give up on what you want?
We hired a doula because I don't want my husband to feel that he has to be the perfect support person. He's very sensitive and a little squeamish, even though he works in the medical field. I am sure that while birth will be very hard on me, it will be really hard on him, too. I'm sure he'll feel a little helpless and that it will be very hard for him to watch me be so uncomfortable. I want him to know that someone who knows what's up will be there if he needs to take a break. I think of the doula as a support person for my husband, really
My UO, I'm having a natural birth and I don't want a doula. Many friends have had success with them and I even have a friend who is a doula but after much research i have decided that senario just doesn't gel with my personality type. But an educated opinion that effects no one but myself seems to be more than some people can handle. One friend actually said to my face, "You don't know what you're getting into, you'll give up on a natural birth if you don't have someone there to help." Gosh, thanks for the vote of confidence!
Isn't it our husbands/ s,o's jobs to be that support and not let you give up on what you want?
We hired a doula because I don't want my husband to feel that he has to be the perfect support person. He's very sensitive and a little squeamish, even though he works in the medical field. I am sure that while birth will be very hard on me, it will be really hard on him, too. I'm sure he'll feel a little helpless and that it will be very hard for him to watch me be so uncomfortable. I want him to know that someone who knows what's up will be there if he needs to take a break. I think of the doula as a support person for my husband, really
yes I agree @anorthro! My husband is my main support person, we are taking classes that center around a husband coached birth! He knows me the best and knows when to push me and when to back off so I trust him very much. But our instructors suggested a doula so that someone is always with me. This will give dh the opportunity to go eat a snack, stretch his legs, talk to the nurses (if they need to be told to back off) all while knowing that I am fully taken care of. And if anything happens and DH has to follow baby anywhere after it is born the doula will stay with me. I am fully confident in my husband but I also think the doula will bring experience that we just don't have as first timers. But I don't think there is anything wrong with someone not wanting one as we weren't planning on it at first.
My UO, I'm having a natural birth and I don't want a doula. Many friends have had success with them and I even have a friend who is a doula but after much research i have decided that senario just doesn't gel with my personality type. But an educated opinion that effects no one but myself seems to be more than some people can handle. One friend actually said to my face, "You don't know what you're getting into, you'll give up on a natural birth if you don't have someone there to help." Gosh, thanks for the vote of confidence!
Isn't it our husbands/ s,o's jobs to be that support and not let you give up on what you want?
Some husbands are very bad at this. Many are not even remotely educated and get frightened and are quicker to push a woman towards pain relief or other interventions. I've seen it first hand. And a good doula can take the fear out of the situation for the guy. My SO is great as my support and even though we homebirth I'd trust him to fight for me in a hospital setting. But he is that role in our life. I make him get tough when I can't and that works for us. But I've seen strong men crumble when labor gets scary for them.
My UO, I'm having a natural birth and I don't want a doula. Many friends have had success with them and I even have a friend who is a doula but after much research i have decided that senario just doesn't gel with my personality type. But an educated opinion that effects no one but myself seems to be more than some people can handle. One friend actually said to my face, "You don't know what you're getting into, you'll give up on a natural birth if you don't have someone there to help." Gosh, thanks for the vote of confidence!
Isn't it our husbands/ s,o's jobs to be that support and not let you give up on what you want?
Some husbands are very bad at this. Many are not even remotely educated and get frightened and are quicker to push a woman towards pain relief or other interventions. I've seen it first hand. And a good doula can take the fear out of the situation for the guy. My SO is great as my support and even though we homebirth I'd trust him to fight for me in a hospital setting. But he is that role in our life. I make him get tough when I can't and that works for us. But I've seen strong men crumble when labor gets scary for them.
My husband is definitely a strong personality, and would fight for me in a hospital situation too. I do think it is going to be hard for him to see me in pain (and crying, I'm weepy, so I expect some tears during labor). We chose to birth at a birth center. If for some reason you have to be transferred to the hospital, they offer to get you a doula to transition with you and stay at the hospital (because the midwives can't). If that happens, I will be asking for a doula. Also if we were at the hospital, I think a doula would be helpful. Neither my husband or I are too keen on hospitals. And with more nurses and docs, I think having some extra help talking to them and keeping everything straight would be really nice.
How has your experience been as a doula? I'm curious. I feel like it would usually be a pretty rewarding job.
It's been a mixed bag. You're not always welcomed and sometimes the hostility is downright scary, but as long as you have a good connection with the parents and they have realistic expectations it's very cool. I can't do it much since my third kidand now this pregnancy, but eventually I hope it's more of my main focus. I'm the unofficial doula, childbirth educator, and breastfeeding person for my friends. It's definitely my passion in life.
I have a UO to add, which I'm sure y'a will understand:
My husband is very, very allergic to rabbits. Like if he pets one, his face swells up and he can't breathe. Like get the Benadryl, STAT. Understandably, he hates them.
This is sad because bunnies are cute. That is all.
I once saw a rabbit bite a kids thumb off in ag. I'm terrified of rabbits.
Seriously?! I'm kind of afraid of rabbits too. Pet ones freak me out, the only ones I have seen get really fat and mean. The ones out in nature are cute, but I'd never touch them!
I was getting all bummed about TB after the rough start to the morning (plus last night's late comments), so this part of the thread has made my day! Go team
I once saw a rabbit bite a kids thumb off in ag. I'm terrified of rabbits.
Seriously?! I'm kind of afraid of rabbits too. Pet ones freak me out, the only ones I have seen get really fat and mean. The ones out in nature are cute, but I'd never touch them!
Wow I leave for half the day and ppl are getting banned...ppl are wanting to leave @BrooklynBroussard pls dont leave us ...purdyy please..days like today where i wshed i had a person with me that could very politely and graciously have told someone off.. You came to mind and then instantly followed by @jefinley1 the nicest bitch around .....all of you ladies are like the group I would love to have around as friends cuz y'all say it how u see it in the nicest way....I can't I'm done being nice I go to straight trying to throw it down ! Ha I got hood! ............... How does my sons teacher lose his report card and then has the balls to tell me not to worry its not that important!!!!wdf!!!! ...and this thread made me laugh wish I knew how to gif .....and pls don't leave anyone and go fb'n I don't fb ..fb sux!!! Ggrrrr!!!
@gabrielafrnqyepez This was my first try and it actually wasn't hard! Maybe it just seemed complicated? Apparently it's as simply as copy/paste. I would say "who knew?" but apparently the answer is a lot of people.
Re: UO Thursday
But of course pregnant women are just bitchy and hormonal anyway so whatevs. :-/ :-S
So I have mixed feelings about the duplicate post thing. It sometimes rubs me the wrong way to see regular posters tell new posters to search first, for a couple of reasons. First, I am a shy person and have always felt weird about "fitting in" to a new group. Once I feel like I am accepted, I feel confident and able to participate fully, but before that, I am unsure and a bit anxious. This mostly goes for real life, but it may be even more pronounced in an Internet group like this where there is a total lack of tone and other cues. I lurked a lot before posting much, and every time I saw "please search first, we have too many of these" I sort of cringed on the inside. It made me nervous to post for fear or breaching etiquette or annoying someone. So I empathize with those who feel that even a politely worded "please search" is a bit of a reprimand.
***We have boxers and our girl boxer came to our family at four weeks due to her mom being hit by a car. They are awesome pets, but our girl is socially different than our male and I feel it's because she didn't get what they normally learn from momma dog.
Some husbands are very bad at this. Many are not even remotely educated and get frightened and are quicker to push a woman towards pain relief or other interventions. I've seen it first hand. And a good doula can take the fear out of the situation for the guy. My SO is great as my support and even though we homebirth I'd trust him to fight for me in a hospital setting. But he is that role in our life. I make him get tough when I can't and that works for us. But I've seen strong men crumble when labor gets scary for them.
How has your experience been as a doula? I'm curious. I feel like it would usually be a pretty rewarding job.
My husband is very, very allergic to rabbits. Like if he pets one, his face swells up and he can't breathe. Like get the Benadryl, STAT. Understandably, he hates them.
This is sad because bunnies are cute. That is all.
Sorry couldn't resist.
COME PATSY!
@komoberi I will never look at rabbits the same. Gah.