2nd Trimester

Gender vs sex

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Re: Gender vs sex

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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited June 2015
    YogaSandy said:
    And no, I don't call my son it. I call him he. I am referring to his sex when I use the pronoun. I am not referring to his gender. We don't know his gender yet. Most (I forget the exact statistic) people do identify as the same gender as their sex. If my son ever tells me he IDs as female, I will start using she right away. Also - calling a child it is no where near child abuse. That analogy demeans those who have been abused.
    See, a friend of mine is transgender and it really made it hard for him when his parents referred to him as "she" or "her". She is a he. Period. 

    So we got to talking about this one day. And I said "Should they have said 'it'?" and he said "I'm not a sofa. So no." And made the further (good) point that he felt weird enough already and to have been referred to in a total gender neutral term (such as it, reserved for inanimate objects) would have made it even worse. i asked him what would have been the right way to deal with it and he said that this is the problem. There is none. 

  • I use gender and sex interchangeably and I mean no disrespect to the LGBT community as I have family as friends who are members. HOWEVER, my son will wear boys clothes and be given boys toys until HE communicates that he wants differently. If at 3 he wants to put on his cousin dress ups then fine. If in his teen years he identifies as something else, that's fine too. But as a parent I have to provide him some sort of starting pointing to figure out what he likes and dislikes.
    Yup. See? This. This is nice and drama free. 
  • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
    edited June 2015





    WTF is a "boy toy"? Trucks? Things that are blue? Because there's no such thing as a "boy's" toy or a "girl's." My son plays with baby dolls and kitchen and trucks and dinosaurs.
    -----------------
    This

    My daughter wears boys basketball shorts, hates most girl clothing because the shorts are "too short" in her own words. she plays basketball, baseball (no NOT softball), karate and soccer (with boys and other girls). Her favorite color is blue, loves watching baseball, hockey and football. She still likes to play with her dinosaurs, trucks, trains, little pony, Barbie, etc. Her room color is purple. There are NO GIRL YOYS OR BOY TOYS. A TOY IS A TOY, DESPITE THE COLOR OR WHAT IT IS USED FOR. Terrible stereotype!!!!

    Edit: quote fail
    Agreed. I have already stated (DH agrees 100%) that there are no boy toys or girl toys in my house. Just toys (basically the person I state this to is my brother. He vehemently disagrees. I keep telling him he's wrong). DS can play with whatever he wants. He has dolls. I don't force him to play with them (he does sometimes). They are just there as an option. Just like his trucks and blocks are there as an option. If he chooses to be the most stereotypical boy in history - so be it. As long as he made the choice on what things he likes, not because it was forced on him by his parents or society.

    BTW. His favourite toys are his trucks, and his favourite thing to do right now is go see (that's what we call going outside to watch the road work construction in front our house). But he made these decisions.


    ETA - tried to trim the tree (but it all went away) and I got SITB. Prob won't try to do that again (on mobile but I'm always on mobile).
  • bbiutmcph said:



    K just need to say one more thing.. Ya'll are taking this shi* wayyyy too seriously



    You are not taking it serious enough.  It saddens me that people just ignore being educated on something and continue to be completely ignorant on an issue thus making themselves look asinine.  It's not that hard to say, "Wow, I was unaware of this and thank you for educating me so I will not offend people in the future and look foolish." 



    Agree. And it's not hard to say that. I have. I've said it multiple times on here and in real life (and credited the lovely ladies here for making me realize it and making me make the connection to what I already knew. For me it was just the connection piece I was missing).

  • YogaSandy said:

    And no, I don't call my son it. I call him he. I am referring to his sex when I use the pronoun. I am not referring to his gender. We don't know his gender yet. Most (I forget the exact statistic) people do identify as the same gender as their sex. If my son ever tells me he IDs as female, I will start using she right away.

    Also - calling a child it is no where near child abuse. That analogy demeans those who have been abused.

    See, a friend of mine is transgender and it really made it hard for him when his parents referred to him as "she" or "her". She is a he. Period. 

    So we got to talking about this one day. And I said "Should they have said 'it'?" and he said "I'm not a sofa. So no." And made the further (good) point that he felt weird enough already and to have been referred to in a total gender neutral term (such as it, reserved for inanimate objects) would have made it even worse. i asked him what would have been the right way to deal with it and he said that this is the problem. There is none. 



    Triple post for me. Sorry. I agree. I call DS he until he instructs me otherwise. However, I did read an article once about using the pronoun xe. Not even sure how it is pronounce - I have an idea in my head, but not sure how to phonetically write it zh-E???? Anyway,it was something a LGBT club was trying at a school. Not sure if it will catch on. Xe is gender neutral, but not inanimate. I am not sure if they were trying to replace all gender pronouns with xe or just for anyone in the community/club/alliance etc. it also stated that another school just used, "hi. I'm _______. I identify as (male/female) and I prefer (pronoun)"
  • YogaSandy said:
    YogaSandy said:
    And no, I don't call my son it. I call him he. I am referring to his sex when I use the pronoun. I am not referring to his gender. We don't know his gender yet. Most (I forget the exact statistic) people do identify as the same gender as their sex. If my son ever tells me he IDs as female, I will start using she right away. Also - calling a child it is no where near child abuse. That analogy demeans those who have been abused.

    See, a friend of mine is transgender and it really made it hard for him when his parents referred to him as "she" or "her". She is a he. Period. 

    So we got to talking about this one day. And I said "Should they have said 'it'?" and he said "I'm not a sofa. So no." And made the further (good) point that he felt weird enough already and to have been referred to in a total gender neutral term (such as it, reserved for inanimate objects) would have made it even worse. i asked him what would have been the right way to deal with it and he said that this is the problem. There is none. 
    Triple post for me. Sorry. I agree. I call DS he until he instructs me otherwise. However, I did read an article once about using the pronoun xe. Not even sure how it is pronounce - I have an idea in my head, but not sure how to phonetically write it zh-E???? Anyway,it was something a LGBT club was trying at a school. Not sure if it will catch on. Xe is gender neutral, but not inanimate. I am not sure if they were trying to replace all gender pronouns with xe or just for anyone in the community/club/alliance etc. it also stated that another school just used, "hi. I'm _______. I identify as (male/female) and I prefer (pronoun)"
    That is used a lot in Sweden (I think it was Sweden). Also, the pronoun "they" can be acceptable until you have the opportunity to clarify on an idiviual basis.
    Thank God for Raid.

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  • But your all just giant cunts :)
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  • edited June 2015
    But your all just giant cunts :)
    Reported. Buh-bye. 

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  • image There's that positivity and acceptance OP! /sarcarsm
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    But your all just giant cunts :)

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  • AlyllyraAlyllyra member
    edited June 2015


    YogaSandy said:


    YogaSandy said:

    And no, I don't call my son it. I call him he. I am referring to his sex when I use the pronoun. I am not referring to his gender. We don't know his gender yet. Most (I forget the exact statistic) people do identify as the same gender as their sex. If my son ever tells me he IDs as female, I will start using she right away.

    Also - calling a child it is no where near child abuse. That analogy demeans those who have been abused.


    See, a friend of mine is transgender and it really made it hard for him when his parents referred to him as "she" or "her". She is a he. Period. 

    So we got to talking about this one day. And I said "Should they have said 'it'?" and he said "I'm not a sofa. So no." And made the further (good) point that he felt weird enough already and to have been referred to in a total gender neutral term (such as it, reserved for inanimate objects) would have made it even worse. i asked him what would have been the right way to deal with it and he said that this is the problem. There is none. 

    Triple post for me. Sorry. I agree. I call DS he until he instructs me otherwise. However, I did read an article once about using the pronoun xe. Not even sure how it is pronounce - I have an idea in my head, but not sure how to phonetically write it zh-E???? Anyway,it was something a LGBT club was trying at a school. Not sure if it will catch on. Xe is gender neutral, but not inanimate. I am not sure if they were trying to replace all gender pronouns with xe or just for anyone in the community/club/alliance etc. it also stated that another school just used, "hi. I'm _______. I identify as (male/female) and I prefer (pronoun)"

    That is used a lot in Sweden (I think it was Sweden). Also, the pronoun "they" can be acceptable until you have the opportunity to clarify on an idiviual basis.


    ---qbf---

    Have to jump in since I'm Swedish! Yes, there is a gender neutral pronoun that is starting to be used more and more. Some people still oppose it because it's "silly" but I think it will catch on as people get more aware of these issues.
    The pronoun is a mixture of out words for "him" and "her". It's not xe, though ;)
  • @alyllyra thank you for clarifying. 
    Thank God for Raid.

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  • K just need to say one more thing.. Ya'll are taking this shi* wayyyy too seriously
    K - one more thing for you: you're being obtuse. Multiple people have said this to you. Instead of stomping your foot and telling us to calm down, perhaps you should take the topic a bit more seriously. It's a serious topic. Now act like a grown up already.
    Married July 2009, Rescue dog adopted September 2010, DS born June 2012
    Expecting LO2 in February 2016
    Ghost of MrsMuq
  • Yawn.
    Huh. Calling other members c-u-next-tuesdays. Klassy. Like Kim Kardashian. You must be a big 'ole bucket full of shits and giggles.
    Married July 2009, Rescue dog adopted September 2010, DS born June 2012
    Expecting LO2 in February 2016
    Ghost of MrsMuq
  • Alyllyra said:


    YogaSandy said:


    YogaSandy said:

    And no, I don't call my son it. I call him he. I am referring to his sex when I use the pronoun. I am not referring to his gender. We don't know his gender yet. Most (I forget the exact statistic) people do identify as the same gender as their sex. If my son ever tells me he IDs as female, I will start using she right away.

    Also - calling a child it is no where near child abuse. That analogy demeans those who have been abused.


    See, a friend of mine is transgender and it really made it hard for him when his parents referred to him as "she" or "her". She is a he. Period. 

    So we got to talking about this one day. And I said "Should they have said 'it'?" and he said "I'm not a sofa. So no." And made the further (good) point that he felt weird enough already and to have been referred to in a total gender neutral term (such as it, reserved for inanimate objects) would have made it even worse. i asked him what would have been the right way to deal with it and he said that this is the problem. There is none. 

    Triple post for me. Sorry. I agree. I call DS he until he instructs me otherwise. However, I did read an article once about using the pronoun xe. Not even sure how it is pronounce - I have an idea in my head, but not sure how to phonetically write it zh-E???? Anyway,it was something a LGBT club was trying at a school. Not sure if it will catch on. Xe is gender neutral, but not inanimate. I am not sure if they were trying to replace all gender pronouns with xe or just for anyone in the community/club/alliance etc. it also stated that another school just used, "hi. I'm _______. I identify as (male/female) and I prefer (pronoun)"

    That is used a lot in Sweden (I think it was Sweden). Also, the pronoun "they" can be acceptable until you have the opportunity to clarify on an idiviual basis.


    ---qbf---

    Have to jump in since I'm Swedish! Yes, there is a gender neutral pronoun that is starting to be used more and more. Some people still oppose it because it's "silly" but I think it will catch on as people get more aware of these issues.
    The pronoun is a mixture of out words for "him" and "her". It's not xe, though ;)

    I assumed the xe was kinda a mix he he and she (bc it ends in e and in my head the x is sorta but not quite like sh). But maybe it's not. I don't remember (or maybe it wasn't in the article) what the equivalent to him/her was.
  • @batgirl11688
    Try growing up. Only an ignorant child starts an argument based on ignorance, bitching and complaining about something they're completely uneducated on. THEN TOPS IT OFF when correctly educated and corrected on the subject, try to shrug it off and ignore it and STILL try to tell the people trying to educate them "they are taking it to far". Then when these people try to explain further you resort to disgusting language and name calling? Are you 5? Don't start an argument or conversation you're not willing to finish. If you're not going to be an adult on the matter, don't come to a place full of educated adults trying to put your ignorance A pedestal and expect them to bow down. I'm glad you have been reported. Bye Felicia!
  • On a pedestal**
  • YogaSandy said:

    Alyllyra said:


    YogaSandy said:


    YogaSandy said:

    And no, I don't call my son it. I call him he. I am referring to his sex when I use the pronoun. I am not referring to his gender. We don't know his gender yet. Most (I forget the exact statistic) people do identify as the same gender as their sex. If my son ever tells me he IDs as female, I will start using she right away.

    Also - calling a child it is no where near child abuse. That analogy demeans those who have been abused.


    See, a friend of mine is transgender and it really made it hard for him when his parents referred to him as "she" or "her". She is a he. Period. 

    So we got to talking about this one day. And I said "Should they have said 'it'?" and he said "I'm not a sofa. So no." And made the further (good) point that he felt weird enough already and to have been referred to in a total gender neutral term (such as it, reserved for inanimate objects) would have made it even worse. i asked him what would have been the right way to deal with it and he said that this is the problem. There is none. 

    Triple post for me. Sorry. I agree. I call DS he until he instructs me otherwise. However, I did read an article once about using the pronoun xe. Not even sure how it is pronounce - I have an idea in my head, but not sure how to phonetically write it zh-E???? Anyway,it was something a LGBT club was trying at a school. Not sure if it will catch on. Xe is gender neutral, but not inanimate. I am not sure if they were trying to replace all gender pronouns with xe or just for anyone in the community/club/alliance etc. it also stated that another school just used, "hi. I'm _______. I identify as (male/female) and I prefer (pronoun)"

    That is used a lot in Sweden (I think it was Sweden). Also, the pronoun "they" can be acceptable until you have the opportunity to clarify on an idiviual basis.
    ---qbf---

    Have to jump in since I'm Swedish! Yes, there is a gender neutral pronoun that is starting to be used more and more. Some people still oppose it because it's "silly" but I think it will catch on as people get more aware of these issues.
    The pronoun is a mixture of out words for "him" and "her". It's not xe, though ;)

    I assumed the xe was kinda a mix he he and she (bc it ends in e and in my head the x is sorta but not quite like sh). But maybe it's not. I don't remember (or maybe it wasn't in the article) what the equivalent to him/her was.


    Was the article about a Swedish school?

    The word that has caught on (and is now used in national newspapers, books and television) is "hen". Sounds silly in English, doesn't it?
    But its pretty logical in Swedish. Him="han", her="hon", so they substituted the middle letter in those words and ended up with "hen".
  • Alyllyra said:

    YogaSandy said:

    Alyllyra said:


    YogaSandy said:


    YogaSandy said:

    And no, I don't call my son it. I call him he. I am referring to his sex when I use the pronoun. I am not referring to his gender. We don't know his gender yet. Most (I forget the exact statistic) people do identify as the same gender as their sex. If my son ever tells me he IDs as female, I will start using she right away.

    Also - calling a child it is no where near child abuse. That analogy demeans those who have been abused.


    See, a friend of mine is transgender and it really made it hard for him when his parents referred to him as "she" or "her". She is a he. Period. 

    So we got to talking about this one day. And I said "Should they have said 'it'?" and he said "I'm not a sofa. So no." And made the further (good) point that he felt weird enough already and to have been referred to in a total gender neutral term (such as it, reserved for inanimate objects) would have made it even worse. i asked him what would have been the right way to deal with it and he said that this is the problem. There is none. 

    Triple post for me. Sorry. I agree. I call DS he until he instructs me otherwise. However, I did read an article once about using the pronoun xe. Not even sure how it is pronounce - I have an idea in my head, but not sure how to phonetically write it zh-E???? Anyway,it was something a LGBT club was trying at a school. Not sure if it will catch on. Xe is gender neutral, but not inanimate. I am not sure if they were trying to replace all gender pronouns with xe or just for anyone in the community/club/alliance etc. it also stated that another school just used, "hi. I'm _______. I identify as (male/female) and I prefer (pronoun)"

    That is used a lot in Sweden (I think it was Sweden). Also, the pronoun "they" can be acceptable until you have the opportunity to clarify on an idiviual basis.
    ---qbf---

    Have to jump in since I'm Swedish! Yes, there is a gender neutral pronoun that is starting to be used more and more. Some people still oppose it because it's "silly" but I think it will catch on as people get more aware of these issues.
    The pronoun is a mixture of out words for "him" and "her". It's not xe, though ;)
    I assumed the xe was kinda a mix he he and she (bc it ends in e and in my head the x is sorta but not quite like sh). But maybe it's not. I don't remember (or maybe it wasn't in the article) what the equivalent to him/her was.


    Was the article about a Swedish school?

    The word that has caught on (and is now used in national newspapers, books and television) is "hen". Sounds silly in English, doesn't it?
    But its pretty logical in Swedish. Him="han", her="hon", so they substituted the middle letter in those words and ended up with "hen".

    No. It was a college in the States somewhere. Very interesting though.

  • @NoSugarCoating
    Nor am I required to tolerate yours. Plain and simple. I'll post anywhere I feel like, when I feel like it. You don't like it, thats cool. I stated how I do not separate the two terms, and that is my view. I understand that they *do* mean different things, but since the topic of gender doesn't come up in the groups of people I know, I don't worry about it and I've never been corrected.

    @FemShep
    No, I'm not a bigot. To be one, I would have to strongly and unfairly dislike other people or their ideas; I am ambivalent and indifferent. I am not going to say whether a person's actions are right, wrong, black, white, or gray. They're their decisions and actions, not mine. But I will not pussyfoot around just to cater to different people's desires. People don't bend over backward for MY desires, so why should I do it for them? The last decade has shown how soft people have become, how everything is acceptable no matter what. Its not something I ascribe to, so I keep my own counsel and speak my mind when necessary.

    @sunrise135
    Dont worry your pretty little head about my child; he or she will be just fine.

    Look, y'all are really blowing this whole thing so far out of proportion. Everyone is so concerned with other peoples' feelings and what may or may not hurt them that they forget to just speak. Everything that 90% of the population says goes through so many filters its ridiculous. Every time you say something, you (mostly subconsciously) over-analyze every word to make it PC and "soft" enough to be socially acceptable. Why? Because we are trained to think that is the only way to act in society. I refuse to be lumped in with every other sheep on the planet, only speaking words that are guaranteed not to hurt feelings. If, for example, someone offends me, then I am going to say something rather than meekly turning away. A woman questioned yesterday why I'd been hired at my new job if they knew I was pregnant and, rather than ignore her ignorance, I told her that I was entitled to a job just as she was. And if someone comes up to me and tells me that they want to be referred to as a guy, then fine. Perhaps y'all missed the part where I said I have a very close friend with DID, who does legitimately identify as a male on some days. There's legitimate reasons for this. But I still feel that a lot of the rise in the number of people who claim to be transgender has to do with it being a "fad" among a large part of the younger generation, just as it was "cool" to be a lesbian in high school when in fact the girls really weren't; they were seeking attention. I never said that this is true in every case; what I said was that I don't automatically believe a person when they make that claim. I live with a healthy dose of suspicion; it has kept me out of trouble more times than I can count.

    I understand that theres a lot of people who identify as a different gender, and thats fine. But there doesn't need to be those whole "I can be whatever I want and if you don't like and tolerate my views I will retaliate against you and drag everyone I know into it." I don't attack every woman who isn't white and straight; why would I? I legitimately don't care enough about what goes on behind your closed doors to make comments about it, just as you (used generally) shouldn't care so much about what goes on behind mine. I worked with a girl who was openly gay. She talked with me about girls she liked, just as a straight woman would have talked guys. Did I care? No. She's probably one of the stronger friends I have. Did I ever make fun of her, or tell her she was wrong, or that her decisions are bad? No. But if she had acted like an idiot about something, I'd have told her. I guess my PC filter didn't get installed. Oh well.
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