Actually, the research does say that a formula fed baby will grow up to be less smart than a breastfed baby. Or rather, it says that breastfed babies will be smarter than formula fed babies.
My son must of gone against that "research" as he is the easily one of the smartest kids in his playgroup. And he was formula fed.. also if you were to visit a playgroup and asked to seperate the breastfed children from the formula fed you would never ever be able to do it because ultimatly there is no difference. A child will developed in there own unique way regardless of how they are fed.
@sassyfrass321 I am in the same situation as you. I am a FTM and I don't know which one I want to do. There are several pros and cons for each one. I am Glad one of my best friends recently had a baby so she could be completely honest about it. She exclusively pumps and bottle feeds. The biggest reason BF isn't for me is because when I go back to work, I won't be able to pump. Apparently you will need to pump or it is painful. I am a teacher and legally your employer must allow you time to do it. People can say what they want, but I can't even find coverage when I need to pee. I can't imagine if it were something that we're painful.
I don't think it makes you any less of a mom for formula feeding. Do whatever you think is best and own your decision. It will make you less stressed about it.
Being a first time mom can be scary. But you will be wonderful and you will figure it out. Unfortunately this is one of those hot topics that people just don't know how to respond without letting their mouth override their a**. Obviously we all know that breastfeeding is best. But if you choose not to do it it doesn't mean your child will be less healthier or less smarter. First I would say take some lactation classes and learn all you can about it. And the nurses in the hospital are usually very helpful with helping you and baby be comfortable. I totally feel the same way as you do about nursing in public for those that do good for you I personally don't care for it and won't be doing it. There are some options. This will be my third child. I plan on trying to nurse but my first wouldn't latch on she sucked the room of her mouth with her tongue And even with the help of a lactation nurse we couldn't get her to latch on. I had to pump with her and feed her formula I did not produce enough milk I pumped every 2-3 hours for 1-2oz of milk to give her bc I felt like I should. I did this for 9 months. She didn't seem to mind having formula sometimes and breastmilk the other times. My second had low blood sugar when she was born so they immediately gave her formula as soon as she came out. Had the same issues didn't produce enough milk pumped and gave her formula for 6 months. I didn't feel that either was painful feels a little strange but not painful. I will tell you that you may want to try at least to pump in beginning bc when you do engorge that is very uncomfortable if you are unable to relieve the pressure. When getting a pump it is best to talk to a lactation consultant about what type to buy there are many out there that are not very good. I bought the models pump n style. Also I don't know how insurance is with covering breast pumps when I had them it was not an option but you could rent one and then that way if you find out or decide you can't or don't want to do it then you have blown 200-300 dollars. All that being said you have to make your own decision and what you feel comfortable with everyone has there own opinions be it some as rude as they are. I would suggest at least try it when you are in the hospital if you are not totally against it so you can have some help. For those of you who are first time moms breast feeding is not as easy and just sticking baby to your beeast and that's it it can be very challenging and upsetting when your in hospital and can't get baby to latch on and the. As a mother you are devestated by trying to decide if baby is not getting anything from you and their hungry what to do I personally say pop open that bottle of formula and do what feels right for your baby as a mom. To OP I mean this with the utmost sincererity you will get over being modest when you have that baby ain't nothing private in that's delivery room lol but at that point you probably will only care about meeting your little one. As I said do what you feel comfortable with and you will figure it out And be a great mom.
I'm shocked at some of the comments here. I am personally a believer in you do what's best for you and your family. Happy mom makes a happy baby! I started breastfeeding my son and I fell into a very bad depression that became extremely serious. I wasn't happy and breastfeeding was making it 10 times worse. I tried for awhile but I was crying all day long and just miserable. Couldn't take any depression meds so I was suffering. My baby was unhappy because he could sense that I was. It was not a good time. I made the decision to switch to formula feeding and it was the best decision ever! I was way more happy and so was my son. He's extremely smart and rarely gets sick. I hate how women can be so judgmental with this topic. WHY? It does not make you any less of a mother if you formula feed. My suggestion if you are on the fence is to try breastfeeding first and if it doesn't work out, you switch and don't beat yourself up about it. Only you know what will work best for you and your family.
I guess I'm one of those "lazy" "selfish" moms. I breastfed my daughter for about two months. I had a great supply and other than needing to use a nipple shield in the beginning, things went fine. Except I hated it. I resented my baby for being hungry. I hated being awake and alone in the middle of the night feeding her. I was not enjoying breastfeeding or my child. So I quit. And I breathed a huge sigh of relief and starting enjoying motherhood. She and I bonded so much more by formula feeding.
I had my son three years later and told myself I would try again. I thought I may enjoy it more and figured I'd at least try. I think I may have nursed my son a total of 5 times. I sensed those feelings of sadness, loneliness and resentment creeping back. So I immediately stopped, switched to formula and never looked back. Another extremely close bond without breastfeeding. Imagine that! And another crazy smart, super healthy kid.
I'm now expecting my third. And I have no intention of breastfeeding. It doesn't work for me. My kids need, want and deserve a happy mom. And that matters so much more than being a mom who breastfeeds. So go right ahead and call me selfish, lazy, careless, uneducated. I absolutely have the ability to breastfeed and choose not to. I know I am none of those things. I'm a nicu nurse, so I'm well versed on the subject and know that the benefits of breastmilk are blown way out of proportion. And I'm a fantastic mom.
I think if you want to breastfeed and it works for you, great! If you want to formula feed and it works for you, great! I would NEVER shame someone for how they choose to feed their child.
I'm not reading the comments because I know how (unnecessarily) controversial this can get and I don't feel like letting it ruin my Friday.
BUT I tried to BF with DS and he wouldn't latch...he was severely jaundiced and getting dehydrated so I made the decision to whip out the formula because at the time, that's what I felt was right for my child. After he got that bottle, he wanted nothing to do with the boob. I pumped for the first three months and did about 1/2 formula and 1/2 BM...I hated pumping, like loathed it. If this baby has the same issue with latching (I guess I have a semi-flat nipple - TMI?) I will just go straight to formula. I can't imagine pumping and juggling a toddler and a newborn.
People are going to judge....they're going to judge EVERYTHING you do (as I'm sure you've seen if you've spent some time on this board) but at the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you and your family. Happy/healthy mama = happy/healthy baby. The end.
@LC122@afresneda Both of your comments were completely rude and not needed. I will be FF my baby and for you to say I am not doing what is best for my baby and that I am taking the lazy way out is just asinine. I know I won't be able/want to breastfeed. Just not who I am, it grosses me out, always has, think what you want. Even as a baby I didn't want to BF! It's just not me. I have done my research and both DH and I think this is the right move for OUR family. Who are the two of you to judge if moms choose to FF or not. You want to BF? Great, awesome! Everyone lives life different and you don't need to go around making people feel bad because they choose to feed their baby different than you. I think it's great that you both seem to be so passionate about BF, so why don't you offer OP and other women on the fence some tips/pointers instead of shaming people into BF.
Damn, the judgmental mommies are out in full force! Your kid will be fine and probably great no matter if you breastfeed or bottle feed - it isn't going to cost them the Presidency because of it.
Do what you are comfortable with. Some people may judge you but only those close to you will even know about it. The people I know in real life are much less judgemental than internet strangers;) I am much more interested in the emotional well-being of my future children when I think about priorities & being as stress-free as possible will most likely directly contribute to that. Self-care is not selfish.
That being said, I think I'll try breastfeeding but I'm not worried if it doesn't work out & don't think it's a big deal if someone chooses not to. I've seen babies and toddlers being fed soda & fries for every meal. I imagine that's probably worse...
Hi everyone. So I'm a first time mom and I am totally on the fence about which one to do. I know that breastfeeding is much healthier and better for the baby, not to mention cheaper lol but I don't know how I feel about doing it. Maybe I'm a big wussy but I've heard how much it can hurt and I can't see myself out in public even with a cover up doing that. I'm very modest and shy so that's a big factor for me. Honestly, I'm leaning toward bottle feeding but I feel like people look down on you for that if you can breastfeed. I understand women who try to breastfeed and can't so they have to switch. But what if you just don't want to. Is that bad? I'm still doing my research on both and I haven't made a decision and I could still change my mind down the road but I'm just curious to see what you ladies say. What is your experience? And please don't bash on me too hard...It's just kind of scary that's all. Thanks.
I'm not going to read all the comments, this get pretty heated. But what I want to tell you is that I had some concerns about public feeding with my first. It wasn't an issue. I didn't nurse in public because I couldn't figure out the cover and I was a lot more insecure than I am now. I would pump and use bottles in public or if I didn't have one I would go into the restroom because I felt more comfortable there. I wasn't as much afraid of what people would think as I wasn't able to figure out how not to show the entire world my boob. Today I doubt I would worry about it as much, but I'm 10 years older and I feel differently about these things. As far as pain goes it wasn't really painful at all. Right at first it took some adjustment on both our parts but I used a lanolin cream and I was fine.
While there are some fantastic benefits to breastfeeding, there is truly no shame in bottle feeding. This comes right back to those personal parenting choices. Do what is right for you and your baby. Your baby isn't going to be sick, stupid or damaged for life if you don't breastfeed, they will be just as healthy and happy as a formula fed baby. Am I a proponent of breastfeeding, yes 100%. Do I feel you should be shamed for making the choice to bottle fed, absolutely not. It is your body and your baby, make the choice that is right for you.
Actually, the research does say that a formula fed baby will grow up to be less smart than a breastfed baby.
Or rather, it says that breastfed babies will be smarter than formula fed babies.
**also, it's less healthy and less smart, not "less healthier and smarter"**
So explain this to me ...
I was strictly formula fed as a child. I was in honors and accelerated classes throughout school. I have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree, a fantastic job, am insanely good at math, and can do a 1000 piece puzzle freakishly fast. Oh, and my IQ is 148 (I could apply for Mensa if I really wanted to). So how does that fit in with your "FF babies are stupid and breastfed babies are smart" theory? Or am I just an anomaly?
Someone else may have also brought this up and I apologize if it's already in the conversation (I haven't quite read through everything yet). What about people who choose not to breastfeed for their own health benefit? ie. someone with anxiety or depression who needs to be on meds but can't be if baby is BFing?
Is that considered selfish for not putting baby's health first? Is that considered "allowed" in the eyes of those who judge women who choose not to breastfeed? Or is this considered "okay" in their eyes because it's a legitimate reason and not just being "lazy"?
And what about women who choose not to breastfeed because they don't want to but choose to use a breastmilk donor (many organizations that do this). It doesn't work for their schedule to pump and BF but they still provide breastmilk for their baby. How are those women viewed?
PS. I should note that I think all this judgment is a load of bull and people need to mind their own business but if people are going to MAKE it their business, I'd love to know what they think about these types of situations.
I skipped through most of these comments after reading a shaming/ignorant one but I will say I everyone has to do what is best for them and their family. I will try my hardest to breastfeed but if I cannot, I don not want to feel any "less of a mother/woman" for not breastfeeding my child.
Due 11.16.17 Baby Girl 12.9.15
MC 2.1.15 @ 5 W - Chemical MC 4.7.14 @ 21 W - Turners Syndrome
Actually, the research does say that a formula fed baby will grow up to be less smart than a breastfed baby.
Or rather, it says that breastfed babies will be smarter than formula fed babies.
**also, it's less healthy and less smart, not "less healthier and smarter"**
You serious with this? Talk about mom shaming to the extreme.
OP, you do what is best for you. Period. It doesn't matter what anyone else does or thinks, because it has no bearing on your personal situation or circumstances. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is if your child is fed.
Actually, the research does say that a formula fed baby will grow up to be less smart than a breastfed baby.
Or rather, it says that breastfed babies will be smarter than formula fed babies.
**also, it's less healthy and less smart, not "less healthier and smarter"**
So explain this to me ...
I was strictly formula fed as a child. I was in honors and accelerated classes throughout school. I have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree, a fantastic job, am insanely good at math, and can do a 1000 piece puzzle freakishly fast. Oh, and my IQ is 148 (I could apply for Mensa if I really wanted to). So how does that fit in with your "FF babies are stupid and breastfed babies are smart" theory? Or am I just an anomaly?
I was FF, salutatorian out of high school, graduated Summa Cum Laude and first in my psychology degree. Damn that formula, I could have been a rocket scientist!
Someone else may have also brought this up and I apologize if it's already in the conversation (I haven't quite read through everything yet). What about people who choose not to breastfeed for their own health benefit? ie. someone with anxiety or depression who needs to be on meds but can't be if baby is BFing?
Is that considered selfish for not putting baby's health first? Is that considered "allowed" in the eyes of those who judge women who choose not to breastfeed? Or is this considered "okay" in their eyes because it's a legitimate reason and not just being "lazy"?
And what about women who choose not to breastfeed because they don't want to but choose to use a breastmilk donor (many organizations that do this). It doesn't work for their schedule to pump and BF but they still provide breastmilk for their baby. How are those women viewed?
PS. I should note that I think all this judgment is a load of bull and people need to mind their own business but if people are going to MAKE it their business, I'd love to know what they think about these types of situations.
Sorry, I'm rapid fire posting, but mom shaming brings that out in me. This was me exactly. Breastfeeding shot me even deeper into PPA. I wasn't eating, drinking, or sleeping. But that would have TOTALLY been better for my baby.
Here is the honest truth from my experience of bf a preemie:
1.) Breastfeeding can be a wonderful bonding experience, but it is hard work and takes a definite commitment.
2.) Breastfeeding is great for the immune system. My son didn't have a cold until he was 2 yrs old.
3.) Breastfeeding isn't right for every woman. It was a choice I made to do for his first year of life.
4.) You can breastfeed or you can formula feed and your baby will be just fine with either decision.
5.) Breastfeeding can be exhausting and isolating. When you are the only one able to feed the baby, it can seem like a never ending task and like you can't be a normal person.
6.) Breastfeeding is one of the most awesome things I have chosen to do for my son and I would do it all over again with this baby.
The smart thing is killing me here. Nobody cares that you were formula fed and a genius. No one is saying that breastfeeding gives you standard deviations worth of IQ points. Nobody formula-fed can go back and find out of breastfeeding would have made them anything more than they already are. And should anyone really be choosing to breastfeed or not based on an IQ point or two?
There are other benefits though, immunities over time, etc. (I'd like to see more research re: asthma, allergies, auto-immune disorders) and those can't be discounted.
For the rest, I default to the PP above me. She said it way better than I could.
The smart thing is killing me here. Nobody cares that you were formula fed and a genius. No one is saying that breastfeeding gives you standard deviations worth of IQ points. Nobody formula-fed can go back and find out of breastfeeding would have made them anything more than they already are. And should anyone really be choosing to breastfeed or not based on an IQ point or two?
There are other benefits though, immunities over time, etc. (I'd like to see more research re: asthma, allergies, auto-immune disorders) and those can't be discounted.
For the rest, I default to the PP above me. She said it way better than I could.
The article posted about the differences being less significant still found a significant difference regarding asthma. It was an interesting article but fell short of explaining the "why" of the differences. In families in which one child was breastfed and another was not, it did not account for why. It did mention socioeconomic factors and education factors, which are major contributors across the board. Those with the resources and education to know better are more likely to do better.
Agree on the smart point as well. No number of anecdotes on this board is going to convince me of anything different than what research supports. And it's research, not "research". Putting it in quotes doesn't make it any less legit. It is a numbers issue. Research also says that those who attend college are more likely to earn more over their lifetime. No number of "Bill Gates dropped out of college" stories would ever convince me that there isn't a numerical advantage to higher education.
I'm leaning toward pumping and bottle feeding breast milk. I want my husband to be able to help out with feedings and I'll be going back to work after 8 weeks, so LO is going to have to be bottle fed eventually.
OP - would you feel more comfortable pumping and bottle feeding?
Thats my opinion ! I dont expect people to agree with me at all. If you think I was rude well then dont ask for opinion if you cant handle diffrent points of view. I know whats best for my child. Everyone just calm down. i have better things to do Bye!
Are you serious ?! Breastfeeding !!!! You are going to give birth come on! You should be more scared giving your baby bottle milk a product that has nothing to offer to that child compared to what you can give him the natural way. Dont be selfish and put your baby first. Think about that....
Thats my opinion ! I dont expect people to agree with me at all. If you think I was rude well then dont ask for opinion if you cant handle diffrent points of view. I know whats best for my child. Everyone just calm down. i have better things to do Bye!
It's one thing to say what's best for your baby, but quite another to tell a mother that she is harming her child and being selfish by feeding formula instead of breastmilk.
afresneda said:
Thats my opinion ! I dont expect people to agree with me at all. If you think I was rude well then dont ask for opinion if you cant handle diffrent points of view. I know whats best for my child. Everyone just calm down. i have better things to do Bye!
A very hypocritical statement. You know what's best for your child as do all other mothers on this board. You are free to share your opinion. Sharing an opinion sounds like, "I think breastfeeding is better and that's what I'm doing for my child." It is NOT sharing your opinion when you come on here and tell other mothers that they are bad mothers, that they are doing their child harm, that they aren't doing what's best for their child, etc, which, while not in those exact words, is just what you were doing. That is basically telling them that they do NOT know what's best for their child, which is not your right and goes completely against what you're asking of the group with this statement.
No one said anyone doesn't know what's right for their (unborn) child. The OP asked 2 questions: 1) "Is that bad?" "That" being just not wanting to breastfeed, even though you know it's better, healthier, cheaper, etc. 2) "What is your experience?"
For the most part, people were very pro-breastfeeding in sharing their experiences. In most cases where someone chose to formula feed, there was a reason why. I think in only one case was the reason just not wanting to. And I differentiate between not wanting to "just because" and not wanting to because it was painful, it kept you from taking medication, you had to go back to work and didn't have a supportive environment for pumping, etc. All of those are reasons, the degree of legitimacy of which can be debated in a thread sometime in 2016.
The fact of the matter is that breastmilk is just better than formula. Just like broccoli is better than French fries. You can come up with any number of reasons to choose the less healthy option over the healthier one, but that doesn't change the nutrition information. Nor will anyone die (with rare exception) for choosing the less healthy option. It is just the less healthy option.
The personal attacks really don't contribute to the conversation. And trying to empower someone to feel capable of breastfeeding (as @afresneda 's original post did) is very different from shaming someone for formula feeding. Many formula feeders are very sensitive about their decision and will read "shaming" into something that said no such thing.
She said that the mother should be scared of feeding formula, that formula had nothing nutritious to offer, and that the mother would be selfish for feeding formula. I don't know how any of these statements are trying to empower someone to try breastfeeding.
Lots of other people had truly helpful statements that didn't put her down for whatever choice she makes and a lot of them are mothers who breastfed their babies.
It was a comparison. Formula has nothing COMPARED to what breastmilk can offer naturally. And depending on what components you're talking about, that can be true.
And since OP was asking if it was bad to do formula just because she wanted to even though she knows breastmilk is the better choice, her opinion was that it would be selfish to do so.
The empowerment came from the "you are going to give birth, come on" part. As in, if you are capable of giving birth, you can do anything.
No one said anyone doesn't know what's right for their (unborn) child. The OP asked 2 questions: 1) "Is that bad?" "That" being just not wanting to breastfeed, even though you know it's better, healthier, cheaper, etc. 2) "What is your experience?"
For the most part, people were very pro-breastfeeding in sharing their experiences. In most cases where someone chose to formula feed, there was a reason why. I think in only one case was the reason just not wanting to. And I differentiate between not wanting to "just because" and not wanting to because it was painful, it kept you from taking medication, you had to go back to work and didn't have a supportive environment for pumping, etc. All of those are reasons, the degree of legitimacy of which can be debated in a thread sometime in 2016.
The fact of the matter is that breastmilk is just better than formula. Just like broccoli is better than French fries. You can come up with any number of reasons to choose the less healthy option over the healthier one, but that doesn't change the nutrition information. Nor will anyone die (with rare exception) for choosing the less healthy option. It is just the less healthy option.
The personal attacks really don't contribute to the conversation. And trying to empower someone to feel capable of breastfeeding (as @afresneda 's original post did) is very different from shaming someone for formula feeding. Many formula feeders are very sensitive about their decision and will read "shaming" into something that said no such thing.
This confuses me... You state that personal attacks don't contribute to the conversation... But you started the personal attacks by calling the OP selfish and lazy, and then stating that her baby will be less smart if she decides to formula feed. You then went further and shamed a mother for using improper grammar.
And you're right, most posts were pro-breastfeeding. But most posts were also supportive in OP's right to make a choice for herself and her LO, without attacking her for it.
Your joking right? You seriously need to take a class on motivational interviewing and empowerment if you think that statement was anything other than condemnation.
Formula is FDA regulated and most companies are constantly evolving their formulations to get closer to breast milk, yes breast milk is best. But it is not always feasible for every parent and there is no shame or selfishness in that choice. Formula preparations offer a sound nutritional alternative. If you want to empower someone give them evidence based fact without lacing it with personal judgement and opinion, help them see how they might potentially be able to overcome their Barriers, and if they cannot, you support them to make the most educated choice possible even if it isn't your favorite. And if you can't do that? Well keep your mom shaming to yourself. Because there is nothing more contemptuous then making another women feel bad about making the best choice she can for her and her baby. It doesn't have to be your choice, you don't have to agree with it. Having an opinion and shaming are two exceptionally different concepts.
@Ken122014 , the difference between a personal attack and giving an opinion asked is the intent. I said nothing about the OP personally. Do I think it is selfish to choose formula "just because you don't want to breastfeed"? Yes, especially when you know all the benefits of breastmilk and you choose to ignore them. Let me rewrite that to make it more clear for you. Yes, I think it is SELFish when You (yourSELF) choose formula even though You (yourSELF) know the benefits of breastmilk and You (yourSELF) choose to ignore them. The proverbial You, of course, but also in response to the question posited by OP. She hasn't had the baby yet, so all the other factors that might contribute to someone choosing not to breastfeed don't apply here.
@nik6499 , since what you're calling shaming is "making another [womAn] feel bad about making the best choice she can for her and her baby", your point doesn't apply here. The situation described by the OP wasn't "making the best choice she can for her and her baby" it was simply making the choice she wanted, in fact, with complete disregard for what is best for her baby.
@LC122 you really seem to talk down to people. Using formula will not scar your baby for life. Breastfeeding isn't for everyone. It's not appropriate to make women feel like bad mothers for choosing formula.
@LC122 you really seem to talk down to people. Using formula will not scar your baby for life. Breastfeeding isn't for everyone. It's not appropriate to make women feel like bad mothers for choosing formula.
I agree. I mean honestly, what's your end game here @LC122? Do you think condescension is going to change someone's mind or convince them to bf?
It was a comparison. Formula has nothing COMPARED to what breastmilk can offer naturally. And depending on what components you're talking about, that can be true.
And since OP was asking if it was bad to do formula just because she wanted to even though she knows breastmilk is the better choice, her opinion was that it would be selfish to do so.
The empowerment came from the "you are going to give birth, come on" part. As in, if you are capable of giving birth, you can do anything.
It would be selfish of her to do so? Really? So if she hates breastfeeding she should just suck it up? Even if it prevents her from bonding with baby because she dreads every feeding? What if she starts resenting the baby? May be extreme, but to say it's selfish of her to not breastfeed is pretty extreme too. It's people like you that cultivate the formula feeding vs breastfeeding feeding wars when they're completely unnessary. It's equally important for mom to be happy and healthy and if she's not ... I can promise that's not good for baby either.
At this point though, OP has no experience with breastfeeding and if she gives it a try she might find out it's a wonderful bonding experience that connects her even more with her child. She might not, but at this point, we don't know. At this point, I would encourage her to give breastfeeding a try, and sometimes overcoming breastfeeding obstacles can make you feel good too (in my case a tongue tie and lip tie that caused a bad latch which turned great just a month later).
I was going to stay out of this until a comment about the FDA regulating formula.
Just because the FDA regulates something does NOT make it safe. Look at red dye 40. It was initially approved for use in makeup and further testing linked it to cancer in the animals it was tested on which caused it to be banned in all makeup products. The SAME red dye 40 is still used in food that humans consume on a daily basis.
This can also be said about multiple diet supplements, medications, and food additives. They are approved and then later pulled from products.
To say the FDA regulates formula DOES NOT mean it is safe for consumption. I'm not saying that it isn't safe for or anything like that but I AM saying that the FDA does approve things that hurt people.
It's important to know what you are putting in your body and your baby's. That means that you shouldn't take the FDA approval as law, you should take it with a grain of salt like everything else in this world.
Be an informed consumer! Not all formulas are created equal!
The FDA regulating formula means that every formula MUST contain a minimum amount of products that are deemed necessary. In order to be on the shelves formulas must contain these products. I'm not saying all formulas are created equal, but those regulations are in place to ensure babies get what is currently believed to be minimal requirements for safety and health. Regulations and recommendations continue to evolve as studies and research show evidence to point them in another direction. The purpose of these regulations is to keep people as safe as possible, naturally they change just as information on drugs and foods and fabrics change as more information is discovered over time. We don't know everything, we are constantly learning as our those that are out there to protect us.
Re: Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding
Glad one of my best friends recently had a baby so she could be completely honest about it. She exclusively pumps and bottle feeds. The biggest reason BF isn't for me is because when I go back to work, I won't be able to pump. Apparently you will need to pump or it is painful. I am a teacher and legally your employer must allow you time to do it. People can say what they want, but I can't even find coverage when I need to pee. I can't imagine if it were something that we're painful.
I don't think it makes you any less of a mom for formula feeding. Do whatever you think is best and own your decision. It will make you less stressed about it.
I'm shocked at some of the comments here. I am personally a believer in you do what's best for you and your family. Happy mom makes a happy baby! I started breastfeeding my son and I fell into a very bad depression that became extremely serious. I wasn't happy and breastfeeding was making it 10 times worse. I tried for awhile but I was crying all day long and just miserable. Couldn't take any depression meds so I was suffering. My baby was unhappy because he could sense that I was. It was not a good time. I made the decision to switch to formula feeding and it was the best decision ever! I was way more happy and so was my son. He's extremely smart and rarely gets sick. I hate how women can be so judgmental with this topic. WHY? It does not make you any less of a mother if you formula feed. My suggestion if you are on the fence is to try breastfeeding first and if it doesn't work out, you switch and don't beat yourself up about it. Only you know what will work best for you and your family.
Me:34 DH:41 1 son: 6 2 step sons: 18, 12
BFP: 4/24/08 - Missed Miscarriage found 5/29/08
BFP: 11/21/08 - DS born 7/13/09
BFP:5/8/14 - Chemical pregnancy
BFP: 4/11/15....stick baby stick!!!
I had my son three years later and told myself I would try again. I thought I may enjoy it more and figured I'd at least try. I think I may have nursed my son a total of 5 times. I sensed those feelings of sadness, loneliness and resentment creeping back. So I immediately stopped, switched to formula and never looked back. Another extremely close bond without breastfeeding. Imagine that! And another crazy smart, super healthy kid.
I'm now expecting my third. And I have no intention of breastfeeding. It doesn't work for me. My kids need, want and deserve a happy mom. And that matters so much more than being a mom who breastfeeds. So go right ahead and call me selfish, lazy, careless, uneducated. I absolutely have the ability to breastfeed and choose not to. I know I am none of those things. I'm a nicu nurse, so I'm well versed on the subject and know that the benefits of breastmilk are blown way out of proportion. And I'm a fantastic mom.
I think if you want to breastfeed and it works for you, great! If you want to formula feed and it works for you, great! I would NEVER shame someone for how they choose to feed their child.
I'm not reading the comments because I know how (unnecessarily) controversial this can get and I don't feel like letting it ruin my Friday.
BUT I tried to BF with DS and he wouldn't latch...he was severely jaundiced and getting dehydrated so I made the decision to whip out the formula because at the time, that's what I felt was right for my child. After he got that bottle, he wanted nothing to do with the boob. I pumped for the first three months and did about 1/2 formula and 1/2 BM...I hated pumping, like loathed it. If this baby has the same issue with latching (I guess I have a semi-flat nipple - TMI?) I will just go straight to formula. I can't imagine pumping and juggling a toddler and a newborn.
People are going to judge....they're going to judge EVERYTHING you do (as I'm sure you've seen if you've spent some time on this board) but at the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you and your family. Happy/healthy mama = happy/healthy baby. The end.
Some of you ladies are aggressive today!
Mom shaming is no joke....
I'm just going to leave this here:
Breast-feeding Benefits Appear to be Overstated, According to Study of Siblings
https://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/sibbreast.htm
That being said, I think I'll try breastfeeding but I'm not worried if it doesn't work out & don't think it's a big deal if someone chooses not to. I've seen babies and toddlers being fed soda & fries for every meal. I imagine that's probably worse...
Good luck!
While there are some fantastic benefits to breastfeeding, there is truly no shame in bottle feeding. This comes right back to those personal parenting choices. Do what is right for you and your baby. Your baby isn't going to be sick, stupid or damaged for life if you don't breastfeed, they will be just as healthy and happy as a formula fed baby. Am I a proponent of breastfeeding, yes 100%. Do I feel you should be shamed for making the choice to bottle fed, absolutely not. It is your body and your baby, make the choice that is right for you.
@kyleneum13
=D>Baby Girl 12.9.15
MC 4.7.14 @ 21 W - Turners Syndrome
It was an interesting article but fell short of explaining the "why" of the differences. In families in which one child was breastfed and another was not, it did not account for why. It did mention socioeconomic factors and education factors, which are major contributors across the board. Those with the resources and education to know better are more likely to do better.
Agree on the smart point as well. No number of anecdotes on this board is going to convince me of anything different than what research supports. And it's research, not "research". Putting it in quotes doesn't make it any less legit. It is a numbers issue.
Research also says that those who attend college are more likely to earn more over their lifetime. No number of "Bill Gates dropped out of college" stories would ever convince me that there isn't a numerical advantage to higher education.
OP - would you feel more comfortable pumping and bottle feeding?
Jamie
1) "Is that bad?" "That" being just not wanting to breastfeed, even though you know it's better, healthier, cheaper, etc.
2) "What is your experience?"
For the most part, people were very pro-breastfeeding in sharing their experiences. In most cases where someone chose to formula feed, there was a reason why. I think in only one case was the reason just not wanting to. And I differentiate between not wanting to "just because" and not wanting to because it was painful, it kept you from taking medication, you had to go back to work and didn't have a supportive environment for pumping, etc. All of those are reasons, the degree of legitimacy of which can be debated in a thread sometime in 2016.
The fact of the matter is that breastmilk is just better than formula. Just like broccoli is better than French fries. You can come up with any number of reasons to choose the less healthy option over the healthier one, but that doesn't change the nutrition information. Nor will anyone die (with rare exception) for choosing the less healthy option. It is just the less healthy option.
Here is some objective information about breastfeeding and formula feeding.
https://www.m.webmd.com/baby/breastfeeding-vs-formula-feeding
The personal attacks really don't contribute to the conversation. And trying to empower someone to feel capable of breastfeeding (as @afresneda 's original post did) is very different from shaming someone for formula feeding.
Many formula feeders are very sensitive about their decision and will read "shaming" into something that said no such thing.
Lots of other people had truly helpful statements that didn't put her down for whatever choice she makes and a lot of them are mothers who breastfed their babies.
Jamie
And since OP was asking if it was bad to do formula just because she wanted to even though she knows breastmilk is the better choice, her opinion was that it would be selfish to do so.
The empowerment came from the "you are going to give birth, come on" part. As in, if you are capable of giving birth, you can do anything.
And you're right, most posts were pro-breastfeeding. But most posts were also supportive in OP's right to make a choice for herself and her LO, without attacking her for it.
Formula is FDA regulated and most companies are constantly evolving their formulations to get closer to breast milk, yes breast milk is best. But it is not always feasible for every parent and there is no shame or selfishness in that choice. Formula preparations offer a sound nutritional alternative. If you want to empower someone give them evidence based fact without lacing it with personal judgement and opinion, help them see how they might potentially be able to overcome their Barriers, and if they cannot, you support them to make the most educated choice possible even if it isn't your favorite. And if you can't do that? Well keep your mom shaming to yourself. Because there is nothing more contemptuous then making another women feel bad about making the best choice she can for her and her baby. It doesn't have to be your choice, you don't have to agree with it. Having an opinion and shaming are two exceptionally different concepts.
@nik6499 , since what you're calling shaming is "making another [womAn] feel bad about making the best choice she can for her and her baby", your point doesn't apply here. The situation described by the OP wasn't "making the best choice she can for her and her baby" it was simply making the choice she wanted, in fact, with complete disregard for what is best for her baby.
Just because the FDA regulates something does NOT make it safe. Look at red dye 40. It was initially approved for use in makeup and further testing linked it to cancer in the animals it was tested on which caused it to be banned in all makeup products. The SAME red dye 40 is still used in food that humans consume on a daily basis.
This can also be said about multiple diet supplements, medications, and food additives. They are approved and then later pulled from products.
To say the FDA regulates formula DOES NOT mean it is safe for consumption. I'm not saying that it isn't safe for or anything like that but I AM saying that the FDA does approve things that hurt people.
It's important to know what you are putting in your body and your baby's. That means that you shouldn't take the FDA approval as law, you should take it with a grain of salt like everything else in this world.
Be an informed consumer! Not all formulas are created equal!
Kylie M.
Baby #1 Born 12.16.2015
Baby #2 Due 7.13.2018