UO Thursdays!

mamaksweez · June 2015

My UO:
I don't understand why posting positive pregnancy tests is against the rules and posting ultrasounds is not. I would much rather see a stick than a picture taken up someone else's vagina... It's disgusting!
Yes it's a miracle and I love to look at my own baby, but I don't need to see inside anybody else's body. Ewwww!

jordans_wife · June 2015

I don't mind pregnancy test pics either. Nor do us pics bother me. Done vaginally or abdominally. I mean, babies come out of vaginas and you don't look at your friends babies and think "that there baby is disgusting having come out of her vagina!" Silly I think.

Monilee1017 · June 2015

I would guess because people tend to post postive tests on the TTC board and ultrasounds in the BMB.

amargaret24 · June 2015

I don't like feeling self conscious about gaining weight and my significantly noticable blump. I'm 10 wks tomorrow and feel very pregnant right now but am still keeping it under wraps. My fiancé keeps telling me "you're growing a baby and gonna get bigger!!!" But I want him to shut up and tell me he knows it sucks to get bigger. Especially when I can't prance around town screaming I'm pregnant. First trimesters suck. Thats my UO.

Sovvy · June 2015

Lol an ultrasound picture is disgusting? Okay. :-S

I think it's hilarious that people freak about deli meat but don't bother to know or the most common causes of listeria.

Honeybee2813 · June 2015

mamaksweez said:

My UO: I don't understand why posting positive pregnancy tests is against the rules and posting ultrasounds is not. I would much rather see a stick than a picture taken up someone else's vagina... It's disgusting! Yes it's a miracle and I love to look at my own baby, but I don't need to see inside anybody else's body. Ewwww!

Positive pregnancy tests are against the rules now??? ha! what BS! This is a pregnancy board after all.

Myelhsa · June 2015

I am not bothered or offended even a little by women who throw their own baby shower. It's become such a cultural norm (in the United States at least) that when there is a baby there is a baby shower.

Actually, if there are women out there that have nobody close enough to them to just pick up the reins and throw a shower, I think those are the mamas that need to be showered the most because they will probably have very little support after the baby is born (some, not all obviously).

MarleneG88 · June 2015

Myelhsa said:
I am not bothered or offended even a little by women who throw their own baby shower. It's become such a cultural norm (in the United States at least) that when there is a baby there is a baby shower.

Actually, if there are women out there that have nobody close enough to them to just pick up the reins and throw a shower, I think those are the mamas that need to be showered the most because they will probably have very little support after the baby is born (some, not all obviously).

Here in Los Angeles, people have them for all their kids and throw their own! I'm so used to it.

I agree with pp, my uo is first trimesters suck!!

GhanimaAtreides · June 2015

My UO: When people tell me they're praying for me.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessindixie/2015/02/10/whats-wrong-with-telling-an-atheist/

MarleneG88 · June 2015

Lizzie5831 said:
My UO: When people tell me they're praying for me.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessindixie/2015/02/10/whats-wrong-with-telling-an-atheist/

I totally agree with this. I know they're trying to be nice but it's not something I really believe in. Also when they say it was "gods will" or "thank the lord", especially in regards to death. So it was gods will that this person die but thank the lord that other one didn't? I hate seeing that written on posts.

bananers · June 2015

I wouldn't go so far as to say ultrasounds are gross, but I do think the pee stick ban is silly. I mean, yes, you peed on it and some may find that gross to think about, but if I show you a picture of my bathroom remodel should I blur out the toilet? Because I peed in that too.

KaraEpp16 · June 2015

@Lizzie5831 It's not something I believe in either BUT I do believe that's its nice to put good stuff like that out into the universe. I always say sending positive thoughts - or something along those lines. I can't remember the last time I said I was praying for someone. My cousin said she would pray for me when I told her I was pregnant and it did rub me wrong but it's what she believes in. So at least she's thinking of me in a positive way right? haha

GhanimaAtreides · June 2015

The pee stick thing can be a sticky situation if it's not clearly positive. I've seen instances of entire groups of women lying that they see something just to keep feeding false hope. It sucks. Nobody wants to be the first one to tell the TTCer that it's a snow-white HPT, an evap line, or that she has line eyes. So for some reason everyone in the thread keeps perpetuating this sort of walking-on-eggshells lie until the OP comes back saying her period started, then the chorus of condolences and oh, next time and maybe it was a chemical starts. It is honestly one of *the weirdest* phenomenon I've ever observed as an adult woman post-Marine Corp "brainwashing" or "reprogramming" (I've had to relearn how to relate to women after).

BlueWaffleSpeshul · June 2015

bananers said:

I wouldn't go so far as to say ultrasounds are gross, but I do think the pee stick ban is silly. I mean, yes, you peed on it and some may find that gross to think about, but if I show you a picture of my bathroom remodel should I blur out the toilet? Because I peed in that too.

The HPT issue is two things, really: 1) way too many people think it's acceptable to post their positive test on the TTC boards, which is never acceptable unless you have become a part of that community, and 2) I might be able to see the line or not, but at the end of the day I'm not a trained professional and can't tell you if you're pregnant. The gross thing, eh. I usually say that as more tongue-in-cheek when someone has posted it somewhere they really shouldn't.

As to ultrasounds, in and of themselves they aren't gross, but all the posting with "hey focus on my child's genitalia for a minute because I have to know rightstatnow if it is a boy or a girl" has a bit of an ick factor.

As to the bathroom remodel, just don't show your recent poo in the toilet, ok?

SullyN · June 2015

Lizzie5831 said:

The pee stick thing can be a sticky situation if it's not clearly positive. I've seen instances of entire groups of women lying that they see something just to keep feeding false hope. It sucks. Nobody wants to be the first one to tell the TTCer that it's a snow-white HPT, an evap line, or that she has line eyes. So for some reason everyone in the thread keeps perpetuating this sort of walking-on-eggshells lie until the OP comes back saying her period started, then the chorus of condolences and oh, next time and maybe it was a chemical starts. It is honestly one of *the weirdest* phenomenon I've ever observed as an adult woman post-Marine Corp "brainwashing" or "reprogramming" (I've had to relearn how to relate to women after).

At one point early on in this pregnancy I was on the Babycenter BMB as well and they had a whole thread on tweaking tests. I was so confused! Women would upload their test and if they couldn't see it others would play with the settings and change the lighting to see if they could see a line. I'll admit I peed on a stick a lot in the beginning with this one. I just couldn't imagine editing somebody's test to tell them and possibly giving them false hope!

sck601 · June 2015

I can't stand The Bachlor/Bachlorette

SummerOH · June 2015

I think posting pee sticks and ultrasounds on here is fine. On Facebook? Tacky tacky tacky. Worse if it's a profile pic. It's OK if you have close friends and family, but so many people with like 500 "friends" do it.

My UO is that the US medical community treats pregnant women like silly twits who can't be trusted to make good decisions. I can't deal with the ban on caffeine, lunch meat, cheese, soft serve, etc etc. Although there are a lot of women who are too lazy to do the research themselves, so I guess maybe it's necessary. But it RUINS it for us and leads to rude people giving their unsolicited advice when they see a pregnant woman eating a sandwich, drinking a small glass of wine, etc etc.

steph_pegasus · June 2015

I hated it when people told me happy mother's day when I was still pregnant with dd. My reply: "she's not out yet, I'm not a mother yet."

danasphillips · June 2015

SummerOH said:
I think posting pee sticks and ultrasounds on here is fine. On Facebook? Tacky tacky tacky. Worse if it's a profile pic. It's OK if you have close friends and family, but so many people with like 500 "friends" do it.

My UO is that the US medical community treats pregnant women like silly twits who can't be trusted to make good decisions. I can't deal with the band on caffeine, lunch meat, cheese, soft serve, etc etc. Although there are a lot of women who are too lazy to do the research themselves, so I guess maybe it's necessary. But it RUINS it for us and leads to rude people giving their unsolicited advice when they see a pregnant woman eating a sandwich, drinking a small glass of wine, etc etc.

Agree! And it's why I take issue with the whole "no amount of alcohol is a safe amount of alcohol when you are pregnant" rule. There actually are safe amounts, but apparently everyone thinks we are idiots who can't discern a few sips or 1 small glass of wine on occasion from downing a bunch of drinks in one sitting.

Honeybee2813 · June 2015

Lizzie5831 said:

My UO: When people tell me they're praying for me. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessindixie/2015/02/10/whats-wrong-with-telling-an-atheist/

I think it's depends on whether the person knows your an atheist or not. If so, yeah, I can see why someone might take offense but if not, the person means no harm. If I'm going through a hard time and someone offers to pray to a God I don't believe in so be it, they mean well.

amargaret24 · June 2015

One more UO: People are so afraid of what they're eating because of possible food borne illness risk but lots of folks are A.) Eating GMO foods and pesticide/hormone laden foods and B.) Using beauty and cleaning products that have a slew of horrible ingredients.........

GhanimaAtreides · June 2015

Good news for those of us who can handle drinking in moderation: https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/health/451623/Pregnant-women-drinking-a-bottle-of-wine-a-month-have-better-behaved-children-says-report

"Mothers who drank 90 units or more of alcohol (over entire pregnancy) turn out to be the most well educated and healthiest lifestyle over all."

SparklesC · June 2015

In regards to the "I will pray for you" to an atheist comment. As a Christian, prayer is the most powerful thing we can do. If someone is offering to take time out of their day to focus on you and pray to their God about your situation, you should be a little more grateful. (Unless its being said in a condescending way, then I get it)

I don't personally believe in "good vibes" but when someone says they will be sending them my way, I don't take offense, because that is what they believe and they mean well.

Paige6410 · June 2015

The pregnancy test rule is stupid, but then again so is asking "Is it a line?" to a bunch of Internet strangers. It is or it isn't, buy a digital if you can't tell what a line is. I can't stand the term "pee sticks" either. It's right up there with constantly referring to yourself as "prego."

Here's a big one: I absolutely loathe the term "furbaby." It makes me cringe every time I see or hear it.

SparklesC · June 2015

fragglemom · June 2015

I really don't like the word "hubby". He's my husband. It's like how some people hate the word "moist". I just hate the sound of it and it feels derogatory. I'd be annoyed if he called me "wifey". Ick. I just gagged.

SummerOH · June 2015

Paige6410 said:
The pregnancy test rule is stupid, but then again so is asking "Is it a line?" to a bunch of Internet strangers. It is or it isn't, buy a digital if you can't tell what a line is. I can't stand the term "pee sticks" either. It's right up there with constantly referring to yourself as "prego."

Here's a big one: I absolutely loathe the term "furbaby." It makes me cringe every time I see or hear it.

The Wondfo cheapies returned a faint squinter 6 days before the digital showed positive, so I get the whole, "Is it or isn't it a line?" I DON'T get posting it online, though. (And yes, I was obsessively testing at 8dpo, which I know is ridiculous, but it DID return a positive that early.)

TinyDancer51510 · June 2015

SparklesC said:
In regards to the "I will pray for you" to an atheist comment. As a Christian, prayer is the most powerful thing we can do. If someone is offering to take time out of their day to focus on you and pray to their God about your situation, you should be a little more grateful.

I don't personally believe in "good vibes" but when someone says they will be sending them my way, I don't take offense, because that is what they believe and they mean well.

I'm a Christian and I take issue with it only because so many people are insincere when they say it. It's become a filler for when you don't know what else to say. I think people of other faiths/no faith take issue because we as Christians enjoy great privilege in the US and there is an automatic assumption that you are Christian or have any faith in a higher power. While I think it's silly to be upset when someone is obviously wishing you well (ex. Christians who get pissy over "Happy Holidays"), I can also understand the frustration for atheists/other belief systems.

Hopefully that made sense. I'm so exhausted I'm not sure I'm being coherent. TL;DR: I see both sides.

I'm also too exhausted to come up with an UO. Though the fact that I try to understand both sides of touchy issues is often unpopular in and of itself. ;-)

dc072175 · June 2015

amargaret24 - YES!!! I just feel overweight and unhealthy not pregnant. My hubs keep saying the same thing - it's o.k. you're pregnant. YEA - except all the people I pass in the store don't know that they just think I'm gross; at least in my irrational mind!!

SummerOH · June 2015

@amargaret24 @dc072175 Add me to the club. I've only gained 2 pounds which is probably all bloat anyway, but I haven't been as active as I normally am so I feel mushy and slug-like. Blah.

Karenin · June 2015

I hate how everyone wants to post pictures of themselves on the internet post-pregnancy or plus sized, or even just not at a societally ideal weight, being like "I'm BEAUTIFUL." I'm all for body positivity and stopping unrealistic ideas, but I feel like those internet stories/social media posts are basically either daring people to tell you that you are fat or unattractive so you can yell at them, or begging them to tell you you're beautiful. Why do you need the internet for this? Can't we all just find confidence among ourselves/our actual friends/our SO's?

bananers · June 2015

Karenin said:
I hate how everyone wants to post pictures of themselves on the internet post-pregnancy or plus sized, or even just not at a societally ideal weight, being like "I'm BEAUTIFUL." I'm all for body positivity and stopping unrealistic ideas, but I feel like those internet stories/social media posts are basically either daring people to tell you that you are fat or unattractive so you can yell at them, or begging them to tell you you're beautiful. Why do you need the internet for this? Can't we all just find confidence among ourselves/our actual friends/our SO's?

I agree with this. Being obese isn't healthy. That's not to say women who are obese aren't beautiful too, but I would hope they are in the process of trying to get healthy. There's a difference between embracing real curves and real flawed bodies (we are all flawed) - and bragging about something that every doctor in the world would tell you is a danger to your health.

peppercorn16 · June 2015

bananers said:
I wouldn't go so far as to say ultrasounds are gross, but I do think the pee stick ban is silly. I mean, yes, you peed on it and some may find that gross to think about, but if I show you a picture of my bathroom remodel should I blur out the toilet? Because I peed in that too.

Major lol at the toilet analogy....so true. I don't mind pregnancy test or ultrasound posts!

TVL25 · June 2015

I don't know how anyone could not know they were pregnant until they were in labor....

Until it happened to me!

No, I am not a "troll" nor have I introduced myself yet to this board (my first appt. is Monday) but I have been a member of the Bump community with a previous pregnancy that ended in loss. I love hearing people react to the "I didn't know I was pregnant stories" because no one will ever understand unless they've gone through it. I was 22, knew my body, had irregular periods, used protection, was almost engaged (we were waiting to finish the last semester of college) took pregnancy tests when I thought something was "off" (two separate months, both negative) and it STILL happened. Now my oldest is 7 and I couldn't be more thankful for that experience, scary as it was! When I compare my last 3 pregnancies and 2 births, there is still no way I would have ever known! Every pregnancy is truly different!

m6anderson · June 2015

UO: Unless it is a licensed service animal, it is NOT OKAY to bring your dog out in public with you. Not to the grocery store, not to your doctor's office, just no. (obviously bringing to the the beach or for a walk or another dog-related activity is not what I am talking about.) I am in my office, and through a wall and a closed door, I can hear a little yippy dog barking like a maniac. Mind you, I work in a health center, so this dog is in the waiting room of a doctor's office. WTF?

Paige6410 · June 2015

m6anderson said:
UO: Unless it is a licensed service animal, it is NOT OKAY to bring your dog out in public with you. Not to the grocery store, not to your doctor's office, just no. (obviously bringing to the the beach or for a walk or another dog-related activity is not what I am talking about.) I am in my office, and through a wall and a closed door, I can hear a little yippy dog barking like a maniac. Mind you, I work in a health center, so this dog is in the waiting room of a doctor's office. WTF?

Adding to this, the whole service animal thing is out of control. I totally understand a service dog out of necessity (blindness, disabled, maybe even war vets with ptsd), but so many people take advantage of this. Service hampster? Service miniature pony? No, just no. Pets belong at home, minus going to dog parks and the like. There is a reason that animals aren't just allowed anywhere.

Lljbean · June 2015

m6anderson said:

UO: Unless it is a licensed service animal, it is NOT OKAY to bring your dog out in public with you. Not to the grocery store, not to your doctor's office, just no. (obviously bringing to the the beach or for a walk or another dog-related activity is not what I am talking about.) I am in my office, and through a wall and a closed door, I can hear a little yippy dog barking like a maniac. Mind you, I work in a health center, so this dog is in the waiting room of a doctor's office. WTF?

My DH is always like, "If they can push their yippie dog in a stroller, why cant we bring our dog into the store?!??!" (Our dog is a Boarder Collie) -_- Seriously, though. It's dumb.

bananers · June 2015

Lljbean said:

m6anderson said:

UO: Unless it is a licensed service animal, it is NOT OKAY to bring your dog out in public with you. Not to the grocery store, not to your doctor's office, just no. (obviously bringing to the the beach or for a walk or another dog-related activity is not what I am talking about.) I am in my office, and through a wall and a closed door, I can hear a little yippy dog barking like a maniac. Mind you, I work in a health center, so this dog is in the waiting room of a doctor's office. WTF?

My DH is always like, "If they can push their yippie dog in a stroller, why cant we bring our dog into the store?!??!" (Our dog is a Boarder Collie) -_- Seriously, though. It's dumb.

Yes, there is such a double standard for big dogs vs little dogs! I'd never dream of bringing my 60 and 80 lb beasts into a store. Why is it you think your little ankle biters are exempt?

ETA: quote fail.

ChipMonster · June 2015

Lljbean said:

My DH is always like, "If they can push their yippie dog in a stroller, why cant we bring our dog into the store?!??!" (Our dog is a Boarder Collie) -_- Seriously, though. It's dumb.

Oh man do I ever hate seeing dogs in strollers!!! Dogs were meant to walk! I definitely judge people that push their dogs around!

Edit: formatting

Sovvy · June 2015

Lizzie5831 said:

Good news for those of us who can handle drinking in moderation: https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/health/451623/Pregnant-women-drinking-a-bottle-of-wine-a-month-have-better-behaved-children-says-report "Mothers who drank 90 units or more of alcohol (over entire pregnancy) turn out to be the most well educated and healthiest lifestyle over all."

Probably why my son is so well behaved!

)