Abort or Keep? Controversial Topic

BearkatLou · January 2009

An earlier post got me to thinking... if there was a problem with your child (i.e., downs, T-18, SB, etc) would you terminate or keep it?

I would keep.

queenjohnston · January 2009

Keep, it's my child no matter what's 'wrong' with it. I can't image seeing it on an ultrasound and then being able to kill it.

Steffsjet · January 2009

Keep it.....I would feel arrogant making the decision.

Donny-stfu · January 2009

Keep.

kleopatra09 · January 2009

KimL22:
Keep. A baby is a baby.

ditto

Chrysallys · January 2009

I think this is a very personal question, one that really isn't anyone else's business.

HDxNxJ · January 2009

Keep.

My reason for testing is to prepare my family for anything that may come. That includes research, doctors, and what to expect.

Other than that the results won't effect my decision.

aynjc · January 2009

Keep!!

lovesweetlove07 · January 2009

Omg...is someone really going to come in here and say they'd abort? I am terrified to see everyones reaction if they do! I know I'm not being very open-minded, but geeez.

kjlrs · January 2009

keep, with the exception of a defect in which the baby would live an extremely brief amount of time and be in pain during that time.

something like down's though, abortion seems so wrong.

kweido · January 2009

Definitely keep. I did have the quad screen done, but only because I want to get educated about any obstacles we may have to cross.

Mrs.Carlybella · January 2009

depends on the precise issue. i know that in our house it is not a 'i would never do that' thing- but it would def. be a discussion. i really think no one can say 'never'. Some of those disorders, where the baby lives to 1 yr max, i just don't know.

emclarenicks · January 2009

The first time my DH went to the MD with me, she asked me again if we were doing any testing and I said, "no, we decided not to." After the appointment, my husband said "we didn't talk about that, I don't remember that." The conversation ended for us in:

What would we do about it???? I guess we'd be more prepared, but we both knew we couldn't abort......

TwinCitiesGirl · January 2009

Normally on issues similar to this I would argue that you will never truly know what you will do until you actually go through the experience.

However, due to my moral and religious beliefs I have absolutely no doubt that I would decide to keep the baby.

BearkatLou · January 2009

Chrysallys:
I think this is a very personal question, one that really isn't anyone else's business.

Then don't answer it if you don't want to. Ppl answering are doing so because they are ok with it.

SoTouchy · January 2009

in 95% of cases, I would keep it. However, I've heard horrible, horrible stories of people finding out at the big u/s that the brain had never developed so there was NO hope for the baby to survive. That is the kind of thing I would abort for.

sarahryandrewlo · January 2009

keep keep keep keep

Aug Bride · January 2009

I would keep as someone said a baby is a baby.

BearkatLou · January 2009

lovesweetlove07:
Omg...is someone really going to come in here and say they'd abort? I am terrified to see everyones reaction if they do! I know I'm not being very open-minded, but geeez.

Bluesmoothie decided to after she found her 2nd one with Downs. I can't imagine the agony and pain having to make that decision. Poor girl.

Hi725 · January 2009

It depends on how serious the condition was. You have to take into consideration quality of life and pain factors. I would not want my child to live a life of excruciating pain. If the outlook was that grim, I would abort.

danielle520 · January 2009

absolutely keep, my thoughts were that if god picked us to be able to raise a special needs child then he must have thought we were able

nolebride · January 2009

Honestly, I think it would be a really hard decision but it boils down to that fact that I'm pro-life for myself. Pro-choice for others. I would never consider terminating a child with Downs or something simliar but I might feel differently about something more "severe". At any rate, this is why I'm not having any genetic testing. If my child has some sort of genetic disorder and God wants me to carry it to term then I figure there must be a reason for it. I just have to have faith. Ugh...this stuff is hard.

Annie_1208 · January 2009

I would not terminate my pregnancy. We did not have the tests done because it didn't matter to us.

Pesky · January 2009

What if you discovered at a 17w u/s that the baby had DS, only had half a brain (literally -- other half never formed and at that stage, never would) and a host of other defects? The likelihood of the child surviving to birth was slim to none and chances of survival at birth would be minutes at best.

Reason I ask is that is the decision a good friend (and bridesmaid) faced two days before my wedding. It's easy to say you would or wouldn't in a vaccuum but I honestly can say I don't know because the circumstances can vary so dramatically depending on the nature of the diagnosis.

marcandjen · January 2009

DH and I talked about this a lot when we were awaiting the results of our NT and AFP screens.

There's definitely a continuum of birth defects and the way we'd handle it. Down's syndrome is a definite-keep scenario, but something on the opposite end of the spectrum, but there are other defects that mean that IF the pregnancy makes it to full term, it's likely that he/she will live a very short, very painful life. That would require a lot of thought on our part, and I honestly don't know what we would decide, but if pressed, I'd say terminate.

Chrysallys · January 2009

BearkatLou:

Chrysallys:
I think this is a very personal question, one that really isn't anyone else's business.

Then don't answer it if you don't want to. Ppl answering are doing so because they are ok with it.

Which is why I'm not. However, this post is going to be very one sided due to people not being honest due to folks being highly judgmental.

HisLobster · January 2009

Keep. I know this for sure.

KelliO924 · January 2009

Before I had experienced this situation, I would have said I would keep the baby no matter what. After being in this situation, I think a little different about it. It really depends on the defect and how severe it is. (FWIW, I did not terminate in my first pg, but the baby did die in utero). I think I also may have a little different of a perspective as a nurse, watching these very, very sick babies struggle and then later pass away. I just don't think that this is something that you can say you would or would not absolutey do until you are faced with it. There are some, but it seem like very few, that talk to the talk and then walk the walk.

hellcatjill · January 2009

Keep, no matter what. I've heard too many stories of people being told their babies wouldn't live past XX number of days after birth, and they ended up being born healthy--or having something wrong that could be fixed.

I'd never abort for something like Down Syndrome.

toospooky · January 2009

Keep. To me and my husband, it would mean a major change in lifestyle, but worth every bit of it. As far as the argument based around how long the baby would live after birth is concerned.....it doesn't really matter, because a "normal" baby's lifespan is unknown - all kinds of things can happen (SIDS, illness, car accident, etc).

in my life · January 2009

SoTouchy:
in 95% of cases, I would keep it. However, I've heard horrible, horrible stories of people finding out at the big u/s that the brain had never developed so there was NO hope for the baby to survive. That is the kind of thing I would abort for.

I agree with this. I would absolutely keep for something like DS or SB, but if the baby had a condition in which they would not survive past birth, I would really have to consider other options as difficult as it would be.

sherron83 · January 2009

SoTouchy:
in 95% of cases, I would keep it. However, I've heard horrible, horrible stories of people finding out at the big u/s that the brain had never developed so there was NO hope for the baby to survive. That is the kind of thing I would abort for.

I agree w/this. I would hate to put a baby through this pain. And It would hurt me more to know that it was suffering.
We didn't get tested b/c were young and don't have any family history of downs or anthing else. I would worry MORE knowing that something was wrong... and put more stress on me and the baby. DH and I were both in agreement about it.

lovesweetlove07 · January 2009

Chrysallys:
BearkatLou:

Chrysallys:
I think this is a very personal question, one that really isn't anyone else's business.

Then don't answer it if you don't want to. Ppl answering are doing so because they are ok with it.

Which is why I'm not. However, this post is going to be very one sided due to people not being honest due to folks being highly judgmental.

Unfortunately...so very true.

Just like I was saying...no one's going to come in here and say..."yah, I'm testing and if I find out that there's a problem - I'm aborting."

emaria · January 2009

keep.

?

EDIT: ?for certain conditions where baby wouldn't live long past birth and would be in pain we'd considering aborting. ?but in cases of DS we would not. ??

mavilabride · January 2009

I cancelled my NT scan for today because regardless of the results, it wouldn't change my mind on how I feel about the baby.

robbie3982 · January 2009

I wouldn't abort based on any prenatal testing which is why we're not doing any. When my mom was pregnant with my sister they told her she'd be born with all kinds of problems that she didn't end up having. She does have disabilities, but what they described is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from where she is. I do not have faith that the tests are accurate enough to know 100% what is going on with my baby or even that a confirmed diagnosis would be able to tell me what kind of life my child would have. Disorders and disabilities have a wide variance in severity.

Rizzo5 · January 2009

Keep.

Though this is my first child I've worked in the field of intellectual/developmental disabilities for 7 years and have seen and met some wonderful people who are diagnosed with disabilities of all sorts. Yes, some individuals do eventually pass on but all in all I've only met people who want to live (and who do so with dignity).

Shanseur* · January 2009

I would keep it and even though I would keep my child....I can truly understand why some people don't. My niece has tay-sachs disease. She's basically been in the process of dying since she was two. It is absolutely fatal (not just a defect but FATAL) and there is no cure. She is 5 years old now and is deaf, blind, dumb, on a g-tube but still throwing up, has at least 15 seizures every single hour all day every day, has to be suctioned out every 5 minutes or else she'll choke and die, gets constant infections, and she only weighs 25 pounds. My 9 month old weighs 20 to give you an idea. Her legs and arms are turned inward and she can't use any part of her body. She can't even watch cartoons like Dora because they are too stimulating and give her even more seizures. She basically just lays there and doesn't even really know her mom and dad are there. She is absolutely going to die. So.... if they are going to die anyway....would you want to make them suffer? Like I said....I wouldn't be able to abort my child, but can see why some people might in this case and I have nothing but sympathy for them. What a hard thing to face. Either way....your child is going to die. And if they live a long time like my niece has it is a daily struggle and absolutely horrible.

lovesweetlove07 · January 2009

Chrysallys:
BearkatLou:

Chrysallys:
I think this is a very personal question, one that really isn't anyone else's business.

Then don't answer it if you don't want to. Ppl answering are doing so because they are ok with it.

Which is why I'm not. However, this post is going to be very one sided due to people not being honest due to folks being highly judgmental.

Very VERY true. Like I said...no one is going to come in here and say "oh yah, I'd definitely abort!" Even if they know deep down that they would.

toospooky · January 2009

Pesky:

What if you discovered at a 17w u/s that the baby had DS, only had half a brain (literally -- other half never formed and at that stage, never would) and a host of other defects? The likelihood of the child surviving to birth was slim to none and chances of survival at birth would be minutes at best.

My logic is: if the baby isn't going to survive till birth, it will die. I don't need to speed up that process. My body will expel it, with or without medication. Either way, I wouldn't want to put my body through any more trauma than what it would be going through miscarrying or w/stillbirth.

proudpreg · January 2009

lovesweetlove07:
Chrysallys:
BearkatLou:

Chrysallys:
I think this is a very personal question, one that really isn't anyone else's business.

Then don't answer it if you don't want to. Ppl answering are doing so because they are ok with it.

Which is why I'm not. However, this post is going to be very one sided due to people not being honest due to folks being highly judgmental.

Unfortunately...so very true.

Just like I was saying...no one's going to come in here and say..."yah, I'm testing and if I find out that there's a problem - I'm aborting."

It's also much easier to answer when you're not actually in a tough situation.

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