Thoughts from mothers of sons on circumcision? - Page 3 — The Bump
December 2015 Moms

Thoughts from mothers of sons on circumcision?

13

Re: Thoughts from mothers of sons on circumcision?

  • I have a son who is fully intact. It's his pens to make the decision with not mine. Unless it needs to be done later on because of a medical issue then I have no right to make decisions about his penis
    MorganW24Life is Exciting
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  • My sister decided not to circumcise her son saying that it would be his choice if he wanted it done or not. She tried teaching him how to properly clean it when he was little. But there is only so much you can teach before they are on their own. When he was 12 he got an infection and was treated, she again stressed to him the importance of cleaning and even had print outs of instructions for him. The infection returned 2 more times before the doctor said circumcision was the only way to treat it and not have it come back. So his choice was still taken from him and now he remembers the pain from the infections and the experience of circumcision at the age of 12. I on the other hand chose to have both my son's done because I remember as a teenager my friends BIL had to be done at the age of 30 something and I remember him crying and limping around the house. (not sure why he had it done) But that image stuck with me and I decided then I would have my boys circumcised. Looking at how my boys are today I am glad that I had it done when they were babies. It's hard enough to get them to shower, brush their teeth, or even put on clean clothes everyday. I just couldn't see myself constantly reminding them to wash their foreskin at now 14 & 11.
    cristinapage72BostonBaby1
  • My DH is intact and so are all his 4 brothers and none of them have had any problems whatsoever. I asked him if he ever felt uncomfortable in the locker room and such and he said he never noticed and didn't even know "that was a thing" for guys to be self conscious about. We have decided we will not go through with circumcision if it's a boy I have no need to mutilate my son. Also just a side note a lot of young children who are not circumcised get infections because the parents pull back to foreskin for cleaning - this does not need to be done and shouldn't not be done until child is much older! You clean an intact newborn penis the same way you would clean a circumcised penis!
    Synnovus
  • dp1320dp1320 member
    My DH is intact and so are all his 4 brothers and none of them have had any problems whatsoever. I asked him if he ever felt uncomfortable in the locker room and such and he said he never noticed and didn't even know "that was a thing" for guys to be self conscious about. We have decided we will not go through with circumcision if it's a boy I have no need to mutilate my son. Also just a side note a lot of young children who are not circumcised get infections because the parents pull back to foreskin for cleaning - this does not need to be done and shouldn't not be done until child is much older! You clean an intact newborn penis the same way you would clean a circumcised penis!
    So we're mutilating our newborn sons? Cool.


    adecembermom2015BostonBaby1wlbmom2013
  • verb (used with object), mutilated, mutilating.
    1.
    to injure, disfigure, or make imperfect by removing or irreparably damaging parts:
    Vandals mutilated the painting.
    Emily & Alex imageimage
    MorganW24
  • My husband and i talked about it. My dad's family is Jewish and it took me awhile to realize how not ok this practice is. My husband said that he got that men did it for centuries in my culture but in his culture, women had to endure footbinding for centuries and that was certainly not ok either. Or that people declaw cats and that's certainly not ok either. He said no mutilating our kid for shallow standards and I agree completely. 

    I'm absolutely against enforcing it on our child. If he grows up and wants to have it done, that's fine by me. 

    And sorry to imply anything because that's not my intent but i've never met an uncircumcised man who can't keep his peen clean. 

    I didn't read through all the rest of the threads, but I thought that I would this one and respond because we are Jewish and we are practicing. That being said, obviously we would circumcise any child at eight days old which would be called his Bris.

    Practice actually did emerge because of the fact that some men have problems fully pulling back their foreskin to clean underneath. Although, when done appropriately, it can be very easy to do so and not a problem. However, if you happen to not do it thoroughly and or cannot due to the inability for the foreskin to pull completely backwards, then you can end up with smegma TMI- aka penis cheese. Obviously, the vast majority of men do not have this problem, but if there is an issue retracting the foreskin fully then it is an issue. Also, many studies have shown that circumcision reduces the risk of transferring STDs and nevertheless, it is completely a personal decision. Only reason that I mention the difference between doing it at eight days of age and doing it later on in life is that a newborn won't remember it all. DH always says, it didn't hurt him at all! We do not consider it mutilation in anyway shape or form because it is not detracting from his ability to perform and/or enjoy sexual activities. Mutilating your body anyway is completely for bidden in Judaism. We cannot get tattoos (with the exception being for medical treatment or against our will.) so in Judaism, we take the philosophy that the body is a precious gift from G-d very strongly. So I respectfully disagree that it is mutilation. Though I do absolutely respect your position.

    That being said, for us it is not a personal decision, it is a requirement and therefore any son that would be born to us would be circumcised.
    Just out of curiosity- what is the significance/history behind doing it on the 8th day?

    I took a religions class in college and am interested in details like this!
    BostonBaby1
  • dp1320dp1320 member
    I have nothing nice to say, so I will choose to say nothing at all. O:-)


    adecembermom2015Ken122014BostonBaby1
  • Thanks everyone for your comments - it was really helpful to hear peoples personal stories. @chewie5990 I was just reading that most infections happen from parents trying to pull back the foreskin too early. At what age should you/he start to do this ? @BostonBaby1 I am also Jewish but my husband isn't. I never would have considered not doing a circumcision but given that it's his son also I feel I owe it to him to consider his side. I'm working on trying to be open to the both sides even if it goes against any preconceived ideas I had. Thanks again for all your feedback !
    BostonBaby1Synnovuswlbmom2013
  • I think calling it mutilation is just plain ridiculous (unless it is a girl, I've done enough research to know that FGM is a different thing entirely).  Take your holier than thou attitude and get lost. I plan on circumcising. But I've also been with a man who wasn't (he was czech) and didn't give a hoot. He didn't either. The vitriol in that judgement is just too much. 

    It fits the definition perfectly.
    Yes fgm anf mgm are dufferent. But they are both altering another persons body without their consent and without any medical need.
    It is a major human rights violation.


    Do you even know the functions of the foreskin? I doubt it
    Emily & Alex imageimage
    MorganW24Paperfinch
  • dp1320dp1320 member
    I think calling it mutilation is just plain ridiculous (unless it is a girl, I've done enough research to know that FGM is a different thing entirely).  Take your holier than thou attitude and get lost. I plan on circumcising. But I've also been with a man who wasn't (he was czech) and didn't give a hoot. He didn't either. The vitriol in that judgement is just too much. 
    It fits the definition perfectly. Yes fgm anf mgm are dufferent. But they are both altering another persons body without their consent and without any medical need. It is a major human rights violation. Do you even know the functions of the foreskin? I doubt it
    It's not the word that people are catching on...it's the highlighted above. Which this response reeks of both of the above highlighted items.


    Ken122014BostonBaby1
  • I come from the UK where it isnt normal to have it done, i just want to say that this means i have known many men who havent had it done with no bad effects. This is something natural that nature has put there for a reason. What i have noticed having had two American boyfriends one now my husband is when it has been done it does have disadvantages such as lack of sensation so less pleasure and lack of ability for the man to produce his own lubrication. I am pretty sure all men dont want these things taken away from them! 
    My son now nearly 8 didnt have it and he has no problems at all! 
    rewareSynnovusjackiesue586Cmagno
  • stivaletastivaleta member
    edited June 2015
    @SarahL25 the foreskin doesn't fully lose the webbing attached at the head of the penis until closer to 10, here is a photo showing when it fully dissolves.
    Synnovus
  • This photo goes with my comment above
    Synnovus
  • Also to those who say it is called mutilation on girls but not boys, the foreskin plays the same role as the casing around the clitoris. Circumcision is popular in the US and through religion but not so much in many other countries. Hmmm wonder why!
    rewareSynnovus
  • It is mutilation though... Even if it has health benefits it's still mutilation...my mom chose to circumcise my brothers and I nowhere said its a horrible thing to do. But like someone said before it does fit the definition of mutilation. I have plenty friends who have chosen to circumcise their kids and I will never think less of them for it its just not something I will chose my son. I don't think it should be illegal or parents should not have a choice but you are cutting off a piece of your child and from what I understand that is mutilation. People can argue that piercing ears is also mutilation of a the body doesn't mean I'm going to not pierce my ears. Sorry to offend so many people with the word choice
  • 313Meg313Meg member

    It is mutilation though... Even if it has health benefits it's still mutilation...my mom chose to circumcise my brothers and I nowhere said its a horrible thing to do. But like someone said before it does fit the definition of mutilation. I have plenty friends who have chosen to circumcise their kids and I will never think less of them for it its just not something I will chose my son. I don't think it should be illegal or parents should not have a choice but you are cutting off a piece of your child and from what I understand that is mutilation. People can argue that piercing ears is also mutilation of a the body doesn't mean I'm going to not pierce my ears. Sorry to offend so many people with the word choice

    And my kid having a meltdown bc I said no is torture.

    jutondreauBostonBaby1
  • @313Meg
    Torture: the action or practice of inflicting pain on someone as a punishment or for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain.

    So no I do not see how saying no to a child would fit the definition of torture.
  • @Karawe thank you for finally saying this!!  :-D
    Ken122014
  • dp1320dp1320 member
    Karawe said:
    In all these arguments (pro choice, anti choice, pro vaccinations, anti vaccination, pro circ, anti circ, pro sahm, anti sahm)... There are those who say "you have a personal choice to make" and there are those who say "if you do that you are a horrible horrible mother and person." I'm pretty sure I typically side with the people who say it is a personal choice. Do your research and choose what you want to do. Clearly there are benefits and risks either way. I don't think anyone who chooses to circ or not to circ are right or wrong. It's all a choice. There were at least 2 pages of comments that were supportive and gave both sides of the issues. Then a couple people come one and start throwing out judgments. We CAN have civilized conversations- and those first two pages show it. Eta: dang, it was only a page and a half. I thought it was further than that.
    Truth! I even made sure to add into mine that it was my own personal choice and I don't think that others need to share it. But to be judging everyone who doesn't follow what you do, tell us we're mutilating our kids, taking away their "freedom of religion"?? Give me a break. I smell a troll.


    Ken122014313MegjutondreauBostonBaby1
  • 313Meg313Meg member

    @313Meg
    Torture: the action or practice of inflicting pain on someone as a punishment or for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain.

    So no I do not see how saying no to a child would fit the definition of torture.

    I would say it certainly is painful when he screams like that. And it hurts his little heart. I most certainly don't do it for pleasure. But I do practice it for discipline. So I think it does make sense, and my point is that it's somewhat subjective. But it's ok we clearly do not agree. I do what's best for my child as I'm sure you do too.
    Ken122014BostonBaby1dp1320
  • @redfallon seems like a wise decision :-)  Just because you yell louder doesn't make you more valid ;-)
    redfallonKen122014dp1320BostonBaby1
  • Also CDC says circumsicion has dropped to 58% in the U.S. So there are going to pretty much be just as many boys intact as boys circumsized.
  • @VegDumpling omg your gif is perfection but I'm also cringing. :))
    flyingmombulaBostonBaby1Ken122014
  • We have three boys that are.  Just a personal preference for us and a decision we made together when we found out DS#1 was a boy.  Circumcision is definitely something that isn't quite a common as it was back in the 70's & 80's.  You have to make the right decision for you and your child.  It was pretty pain free for our boys.  They did it and came back without issues.  It was easy to clean and take care of and healed in just a couple of days.  There are different procedures that are done, so if you do decide and have a preference, make sure the let your doctor know what kind of procedure you prefer.  

    Good luck!  
    Erin

    Mom to 3 Boys (Ages 10, 8 & 3)

    Mom to 3 Angels





    BabyFruit Ticker
    BostonBaby1Ken122014Elizabella85
  • Our son had to be circumcised for medical reasons at close to 1 year old. He was a preemie and had urology complications. The procedure was not particularly painful for him, but it did look not so great immediately after surgery (he also had some other urology issues that were taken care of). If this baby is a boy, we will have him circumcised at birth if possible. The pediatric urology nurse told us that a large percentage of their patients were 16-18 year old boys getting circumcised. I thought DH was going to pass out when he heard that.

    Like others have said, it is a personal decision that each family needs to make. I don't think there is a right or wrong decision, just the one you choose for your son. We had the choice made for us medically.
    Ken122014dp1320
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