I have a son who is fully intact. It's his pens to make the decision with not mine. Unless it needs to be done later on because of a medical issue then I have no right to make decisions about his penis
I'm not reading the previous comments because I know how heated these debates can be. DH and I both agreed DS would be circ'd...he had zero issues. If the next is a boy, he will be too.
And the "it's their choice" argument... IDK if I can get on board with that...I've only come across circ'd guys in my life but never have I met one that was like "man, I wish I hadn't been circ'd when I was an infant and don't remember a thing".... I HAVE heard stories of people needing to be circ'd later in life and I think that would be way worse (and most of them took care of their area, stuff just happens).
ETA: Not saying my viewpoint is what should be shared by everyone, it's just that, MY viewpoint on why we decided to circ our son and will with a future boy if that's what we have.
My sister decided not to circumcise her son saying that it would be his choice if he wanted it done or not. She tried teaching him how to properly clean it when he was little. But there is only so much you can teach before they are on their own. When he was 12 he got an infection and was treated, she again stressed to him the importance of cleaning and even had print outs of instructions for him. The infection returned 2 more times before the doctor said circumcision was the only way to treat it and not have it come back. So his choice was still taken from him and now he remembers the pain from the infections and the experience of circumcision at the age of 12. I on the other hand chose to have both my son's done because I remember as a teenager my friends BIL had to be done at the age of 30 something and I remember him crying and limping around the house. (not sure why he had it done) But that image stuck with me and I decided then I would have my boys circumcised. Looking at how my boys are today I am glad that I had it done when they were babies. It's hard enough to get them to shower, brush their teeth, or even put on clean clothes everyday. I just couldn't see myself constantly reminding them to wash their foreskin at now 14 & 11.
My DH is intact and so are all his 4 brothers and none of them have had any problems whatsoever. I asked him if he ever felt uncomfortable in the locker room and such and he said he never noticed and didn't even know "that was a thing" for guys to be self conscious about. We have decided we will not go through with circumcision if it's a boy I have no need to mutilate my son. Also just a side note a lot of young children who are not circumcised get infections because the parents pull back to foreskin for cleaning - this does not need to be done and shouldn't not be done until child is much older! You clean an intact newborn penis the same way you would clean a circumcised penis!
My DH is intact and so are all his 4 brothers and none of them have had any problems whatsoever. I asked him if he ever felt uncomfortable in the locker room and such and he said he never noticed and didn't even know "that was a thing" for guys to be self conscious about. We have decided we will not go through with circumcision if it's a boy I have no need to mutilate my son. Also just a side note a lot of young children who are not circumcised get infections because the parents pull back to foreskin for cleaning - this does not need to be done and shouldn't not be done until child is much older! You clean an intact newborn penis the same way you would clean a circumcised penis!
verb (used with object), mutilated, mutilating. 1. to injure, disfigure, or make imperfect by removing or irreparably damaging parts: Vandals mutilated the painting.
My husband and i talked about it. My dad's family is Jewish and it took me awhile to realize how not ok this practice is. My husband said that he got that men did it for centuries in my culture but in his culture, women had to endure footbinding for centuries and that was certainly not ok either. Or that people declaw cats and that's certainly not ok either. He said no mutilating our kid for shallow standards and I agree completely.
I'm absolutely against enforcing it on our child. If he grows up and wants to have it done, that's fine by me.
And sorry to imply anything because that's not my intent but i've never met an uncircumcised man who can't keep his peen clean.
I didn't read through all the rest of the threads, but I thought that I would this one and respond because we are Jewish and we are practicing. That being said, obviously we would circumcise any child at eight days old which would be called his Bris.
Practice actually did emerge because of the fact that some men have problems fully pulling back their foreskin to clean underneath. Although, when done appropriately, it can be very easy to do so and not a problem. However, if you happen to not do it thoroughly and or cannot due to the inability for the foreskin to pull completely backwards, then you can end up with smegma TMI- aka penis cheese. Obviously, the vast majority of men do not have this problem, but if there is an issue retracting the foreskin fully then it is an issue. Also, many studies have shown that circumcision reduces the risk of transferring STDs and nevertheless, it is completely a personal decision. Only reason that I mention the difference between doing it at eight days of age and doing it later on in life is that a newborn won't remember it all. DH always says, it didn't hurt him at all! We do not consider it mutilation in anyway shape or form because it is not detracting from his ability to perform and/or enjoy sexual activities. Mutilating your body anyway is completely for bidden in Judaism. We cannot get tattoos (with the exception being for medical treatment or against our will.) so in Judaism, we take the philosophy that the body is a precious gift from G-d very strongly. So I respectfully disagree that it is mutilation. Though I do absolutely respect your position.
That being said, for us it is not a personal decision, it is a requirement and therefore any son that would be born to us would be circumcised.
Just out of curiosity- what is the significance/history behind doing it on the 8th day?
I took a religions class in college and am interested in details like this!
Thanks everyone for your comments - it was really helpful to hear peoples personal stories. @chewie5990 I was just reading that most infections happen from parents trying to pull back the foreskin too early. At what age should you/he start to do this ? @BostonBaby1 I am also Jewish but my husband isn't. I never would have considered not doing a circumcision but given that it's his son also I feel I owe it to him to consider his side. I'm working on trying to be open to the both sides even if it goes against any preconceived ideas I had. Thanks again for all your feedback !
I think calling it mutilation is just plain ridiculous (unless it is a girl, I've done enough research to know that FGM is a different thing entirely). Take your holier than thou attitude and get lost. I plan on circumcising. But I've also been with a man who wasn't (he was czech) and didn't give a hoot. He didn't either. The vitriol in that judgement is just too much.
I think calling it mutilation is just plain ridiculous (unless it is a girl, I've done enough research to know that FGM is a different thing entirely). Take your holier than thou attitude and get lost. I plan on circumcising. But I've also been with a man who wasn't (he was czech) and didn't give a hoot. He didn't either. The vitriol in that judgement is just too much.
Thank you - I know anything I would have said in response would not have been said so nicely. ^:)^
I think calling it mutilation is just plain ridiculous (unless it is a girl, I've done enough research to know that FGM is a different thing entirely). Take your holier than thou attitude and get lost. I plan on circumcising. But I've also been with a man who wasn't (he was czech) and didn't give a hoot. He didn't either. The vitriol in that judgement is just too much.
It fits the definition perfectly. Yes fgm anf mgm are dufferent. But they are both altering another persons body without their consent and without any medical need. It is a major human rights violation.
Do you even know the functions of the foreskin? I doubt it
I think calling it mutilation is just plain ridiculous (unless it is a girl, I've done enough research to know that FGM is a different thing entirely). Take your holier than thou attitude and get lost. I plan on circumcising. But I've also been with a man who wasn't (he was czech) and didn't give a hoot. He didn't either. The vitriol in that judgement is just too much.
It fits the definition perfectly.
Yes fgm anf mgm are dufferent. But they are both altering another persons body without their consent and without any medical need.
It is a major human rights violation.
Do you even know the functions of the foreskin? I doubt it
It's not the word that people are catching on...it's the highlighted above. Which this response reeks of both of the above highlighted items.
I think calling it mutilation is just plain ridiculous (unless it is a girl, I've done enough research to know that FGM is a different thing entirely). Take your holier than thou attitude and get lost. I plan on circumcising. But I've also been with a man who wasn't (he was czech) and didn't give a hoot. He didn't either. The vitriol in that judgement is just too much.
It fits the definition perfectly.
Yes fgm anf mgm are dufferent. But they are both altering another persons body without their consent and without any medical need.
It is a major human rights violation.
Do you even know the functions of the foreskin? I doubt it
And if we're going to take the "violation of human rights" stance...wouldn't ANY decision you make for your child before they're able to do so, "violating their rights?" .... Giving them shots/vaccinations without their consent? Violation. Putting them in a carseat without them having a say in it? Violation. I just can't.
@jackiesue586 I do know the function. Like many of the moms on this site, I have done the research (in addition to my university degree, which was originally focused in biology). The parental decision on whether to circumcise is medical, but it is also socio-cultural. Mutilation suggests deprivation of an essential part, and an intention to do harm. The sexual function of circumcised males is altered, but it is not by any means minimized. People have been doing it for thousands of years for various reasons. Just because you choose not to do it (and you have good reasons) does not give you the license to trash moms who make a different decision. You are not an expert, a medical professional, or a researcher, are you? Not every situation is the same. I find myself wondering what your children will think of YOUR decision when they grow up-- because it is yours, and not theirs. Children cannot make informed decisions, so we do the best we can to prepare them for the world. No one is blaming you, I don't understand why you can't offer the same courtesy.
I come from the UK where it isnt normal to have it done, i just want to say that this means i have known many men who havent had it done with no bad effects. This is something natural that nature has put there for a reason. What i have noticed having had two American boyfriends one now my husband is when it has been done it does have disadvantages such as lack of sensation so less pleasure and lack of ability for the man to produce his own lubrication. I am pretty sure all men dont want these things taken away from them! My son now nearly 8 didnt have it and he has no problems at all!
@SarahL25 the foreskin doesn't fully lose the webbing attached at the head of the penis until closer to 10, here is a photo showing when it fully dissolves.
Also to those who say it is called mutilation on girls but not boys, the foreskin plays the same role as the casing around the clitoris. Circumcision is popular in the US and through religion but not so much in many other countries. Hmmm wonder why!
As a mother of a boy and not sure what this one will be, we decided to circ. I let DH make the decision. We did have the release of the skin by encouraging it back and had the smegma. But never has it once bothered my son. I don't regret doing it. And I just can't get on board w the "freedom of rights" argument. So am I not going to take my kid to church bc we go weekly and it was how we were brought up? Am I not supposed to feed my kid meat bc it's wrong? Or for heavens sake, cry it out because I've hit a wall and its what's best for both of us in the moment and we are desperate? Or not baby wear my kid bc he doesn't want to? Let alone make him go to the store bc he's screaming? Seriously... We as parents try to do the best damn job that we can. Do we make mistakes? Absolutely!! But I love my child unconditionally and would give my life for his without thinking! We need to stop this horrible parent shaming and allow us to try the best we can and encourage and support each other because we all have struggles. Just because you may think of this differently than me, doesn't mean we love our children different.
So stop with the nonsense and realize what's important in life. It's or children being loved and cared for to the best of our abilities. Which is my whole heart and life. And we are going to raise amazing people. And one day, maybe our kids will be CEO and CFO of the same company. And no one will know who's circ'ed and who's not.
It is mutilation though... Even if it has health benefits it's still mutilation...my mom chose to circumcise my brothers and I nowhere said its a horrible thing to do. But like someone said before it does fit the definition of mutilation. I have plenty friends who have chosen to circumcise their kids and I will never think less of them for it its just not something I will chose my son. I don't think it should be illegal or parents should not have a choice but you are cutting off a piece of your child and from what I understand that is mutilation. People can argue that piercing ears is also mutilation of a the body doesn't mean I'm going to not pierce my ears. Sorry to offend so many people with the word choice
It is mutilation though... Even if it has health benefits it's still mutilation...my mom chose to circumcise my brothers and I nowhere said its a horrible thing to do. But like someone said before it does fit the definition of mutilation. I have plenty friends who have chosen to circumcise their kids and I will never think less of them for it its just not something I will chose my son. I don't think it should be illegal or parents should not have a choice but you are cutting off a piece of your child and from what I understand that is mutilation. People can argue that piercing ears is also mutilation of a the body doesn't mean I'm going to not pierce my ears. Sorry to offend so many people with the word choice
And my kid having a meltdown bc I said no is torture.
In all these arguments (pro choice, anti choice, pro vaccinations, anti vaccination, pro circ, anti circ, pro sahm, anti sahm)... There are those who say "you have a personal choice to make" and there are those who say "if you do that you are a horrible horrible mother and person." I'm pretty sure I typically side with the people who say it is a personal choice. Do your research and choose what you want to do. Clearly there are benefits and risks either way. I don't think anyone who chooses to circ or not to circ are right or wrong. It's all a choice. There were at least 2 pages of comments that were supportive and gave both sides of the issues. Then a couple people come one and start throwing out judgments. We CAN have civilized conversations- and those first two pages show it.
Eta: dang, it was only a page and a half. I thought it was further than that.
In all these arguments (pro choice, anti choice, pro vaccinations, anti vaccination, pro circ, anti circ, pro sahm, anti sahm)... There are those who say "you have a personal choice to make" and there are those who say "if you do that you are a horrible horrible mother and person." I'm pretty sure I typically side with the people who say it is a personal choice. Do your research and choose what you want to do. Clearly there are benefits and risks either way. I don't think anyone who chooses to circ or not to circ are right or wrong. It's all a choice. There were at least 2 pages of comments that were supportive and gave both sides of the issues. Then a couple people come one and start throwing out judgments. We CAN have civilized conversations- and those first two pages show it.
Eta: dang, it was only a page and a half. I thought it was further than that.
Truth! I even made sure to add into mine that it was my own personal choice and I don't think that others need to share it. But to be judging everyone who doesn't follow what you do, tell us we're mutilating our kids, taking away their "freedom of religion"?? Give me a break. I smell a troll.
@313Meg Torture: the action or practice of inflicting pain on someone as a punishment or for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain.
So no I do not see how saying no to a child would fit the definition of torture.
I would say it certainly is painful when he screams like that. And it hurts his little heart. I most certainly don't do it for pleasure. But I do practice it for discipline. So I think it does make sense, and my point is that it's somewhat subjective. But it's ok we clearly do not agree. I do what's best for my child as I'm sure you do too.
As someone interested in this post who is still undecided, I'm more likely to pay attention to the ones who have calm responses rather than the ones who spew the "you're a monster if you do this!" type responses.
My DH is intact and so are all his 4 brothers and none of them have had any problems whatsoever. I asked him if he ever felt uncomfortable in the locker room and such and he said he never noticed and didn't even know "that was a thing" for guys to be self conscious about. We have decided we will not go through with circumcision if it's a boy I have no need to mutilate my son. Also just a side note a lot of young children who are not circumcised get infections because the parents pull back to foreskin for cleaning - this does not need to be done and shouldn't not be done until child is much older! You clean an intact newborn penis the same way you would clean a circumcised penis!
So we're mutilating our newborn sons? Cool.
God, thank you. I get so....there is no appropriate word for the way I feel when people call it mutilation. Not one that would be within the TOU, anyway.
FGM is different because it is a procedure that is done ritually. It involves a person of religious authority, not a doctor. They either shear the labia or the clitoris or both. They sew the vaginal opening so that instead of a urine stream, there is a 'drip.' Recovery sometimes takes months and infection is common and sometimes fatal. In Somalia the man is expected to 'open' the woman with a knife on their wedding night to prove virginity. It is NOT the same thing. Did my Senior Seminar in Global/ Transnational Feminism (source).
Just adding for those who think boys DONT compare penises, yes, yes they do. Not only did I hear about all this from my brothers, but my hubby caught a ton of flack in the locker rooms because he was a late bloomer. (No worries, he grew into his manhood.) Just wanted to say that boys certainly do pay attention to differences.
Also, he has zero issues in the pleasure department. I actually think if he still had a foreskin and had more nerve endings down there sex would never last more than a minute. (Yes I'm trying to be funny and silly here to diffuse some tension). He certainly isn't suffering from less sexual satisfaction. He does not miss his foreskin, think about his missing foreskin, or feel mutilated in any way.
Because of this thread I just had a lengthy conversation with my mom about circumcision for the first time and literally uttered the sentence "I never thought I'd be worrying about penises so much in my life" :-??
Side note: one time I saw an uncircumcised penis and I was super freaked out. I thought something was wrong with it and it mutated extra skin. Don't think they discussed that in health class.
@magburt hahaha! I was seeing a guy who was 'uncut' and didn't really care, EXCEPT i was not putting that thing in my mouth. (tmi?) probably other women wouldn't mind...
We have three boys that are. Just a personal preference for us and a decision we made together when we found out DS#1 was a boy. Circumcision is definitely something that isn't quite a common as it was back in the 70's & 80's. You have to make the right decision for you and your child. It was pretty pain free for our boys. They did it and came back without issues. It was easy to clean and take care of and healed in just a couple of days. There are different procedures that are done, so if you do decide and have a preference, make sure the let your doctor know what kind of procedure you prefer.
Our son had to be circumcised for medical reasons at close to 1 year old. He was a preemie and had urology complications. The procedure was not particularly painful for him, but it did look not so great immediately after surgery (he also had some other urology issues that were taken care of). If this baby is a boy, we will have him circumcised at birth if possible. The pediatric urology nurse told us that a large percentage of their patients were 16-18 year old boys getting circumcised. I thought DH was going to pass out when he heard that.
Like others have said, it is a personal decision that each family needs to make. I don't think there is a right or wrong decision, just the one you choose for your son. We had the choice made for us medically.
Re: Thoughts from mothers of sons on circumcision?
I'm not reading the previous comments because I know how heated these debates can be. DH and I both agreed DS would be circ'd...he had zero issues. If the next is a boy, he will be too.
And the "it's their choice" argument... IDK if I can get on board with that...I've only come across circ'd guys in my life but never have I met one that was like "man, I wish I hadn't been circ'd when I was an infant and don't remember a thing".... I HAVE heard stories of people needing to be circ'd later in life and I think that would be way worse (and most of them took care of their area, stuff just happens).
ETA: Not saying my viewpoint is what should be shared by everyone, it's just that, MY viewpoint on why we decided to circ our son and will with a future boy if that's what we have.
1.
to injure, disfigure, or make imperfect by removing or irreparably damaging parts:
Vandals mutilated the painting.
I took a religions class in college and am interested in details like this!
^:)^
Yes fgm anf mgm are dufferent. But they are both altering another persons body without their consent and without any medical need.
It is a major human rights violation.
Do you even know the functions of the foreskin? I doubt it
My son now nearly 8 didnt have it and he has no problems at all!
And I just can't get on board w the "freedom of rights" argument. So am I not going to take my kid to church bc we go weekly and it was how we were brought up? Am I not supposed to feed my kid meat bc it's wrong? Or for heavens sake, cry it out because I've hit a wall and its what's best for both of us in the moment and we are desperate? Or not baby wear my kid bc he doesn't want to? Let alone make him go to the store bc he's screaming? Seriously...
We as parents try to do the best damn job that we can. Do we make mistakes? Absolutely!! But I love my child unconditionally and would give my life for his without thinking!
We need to stop this horrible parent shaming and allow us to try the best we can and encourage and support each other because we all have struggles. Just because you may think of this differently than me, doesn't mean we love our children different.
So stop with the nonsense and realize what's important in life. It's or children being loved and cared for to the best of our abilities. Which is my whole heart and life. And we are going to raise amazing people. And one day, maybe our kids will be CEO and CFO of the same company. And no one will know who's circ'ed and who's not.
Torture: the action or practice of inflicting pain on someone as a punishment or for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain.
So no I do not see how saying no to a child would fit the definition of torture.
Eta: dang, it was only a page and a half. I thought it was further than that.
Jamie
Also, he has zero issues in the pleasure department. I actually think if he still had a foreskin and had more nerve endings down there sex would never last more than a minute. (Yes I'm trying to be funny and silly here to diffuse some tension). He certainly isn't suffering from less sexual satisfaction. He does not miss his foreskin, think about his missing foreskin, or feel mutilated in any way.