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Re: FFFC

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  • rox7777rox7777 member
    SamanthaAshley820 said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    Hm. I wore goodwill clothes until I graduated high school and I was 5'8" and 90lbs. Guess what? I was tormented throughout middle school and high school. They even started a "I hate RC Cola" club because my initials were RCC. There's plenty of us that have had plenty of life struggles. Should I mention the boy I dated abused me for 3 years and stabbed me with a fork in the stomach (a scar I still carry). Everyone has fucked up points in life, but guess what, that doesn't mean we get to use that as excuse to be liars and/or poor excuses for adults.

    But I'm not lying? and I'm not sure why you think I'm lying...but too each his own. 

    You're lying simply because there's multiple threads where you said you lost custody due to depression, and then it was bipolar disorder and then it was being military. You said your SO is an only child but then you said you had SIL. You said that you were abused and all this stuff happened so you joined the military to get away, but you were never actually in the military.

    Point being, nothing you're saying adds up and then you add in stuff like having herpes and needing to go to groups for sex to distract from the fact that you are a liar. Unlike you my story flows and adds up because it's the truth. There's actually a scar on my stomach and there's actually pictures of me at 5'8" 90lbs. And my husband is actually military and there all multiple threads about being a military wife that back up my story. Your posts all contradict each other.

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  • SamanthaAshley820SamanthaAshley820 member
    rbradshaw77 said:
    rbradshaw77 said:
    I know quite a few dual military families and the only time you would sign over guardianship is in the case of dual deployment. HOWEVER, if you were single and just dating you would not have been able to join as per the rule stating that a single parent cannot join without either a) giving up custody or b) receiving consent from the other parent. Also, you never sign over custody in the case of dual military, you sign over temporary guardianship in the case of deployment and at the end of said deployment you regain your parental rights. If you were diagnosed as bipolar while under contract that means you were either honorably discharged or removed by some other means because I know for a fact bipolar disorder is a disqualifier. So either you lost custody because of your depression and inability to parent or your military obligation (which is highly unlikely). Either way by coming up with this story you lose a lot of respect from someone that is a military wife and knows the sacrifice that those who are military make.


    He was not military. So it wasn't dual anything. I was considered a single, never married mom. and they told me I could sign over temporary guardianship and get my guardianship back after I finished basic. I did what my Recruiter told me to do. I ended up not passing the physical requirements due to knee damage I had received in middle school. But at that point it was too late, I had signed the guardianship papers because my recruiter told me he wouldn't/couldn't take me to MEPS without me signing the court guardianship papers. I was actually told that I could sue my recruiter because he had ill advised me and I ended up in the "custody situation" that I am currently in. I am well aware of military sacrifices, I come from a family that has a lot of served time. Army, Marines and Navy. both my grandfathers, 2 uncles, and a cousin. I also have a lot of friends that are/were in the military because as I previously posted I was in JROTC throughout high school.
    If you had past injuries they wouldn't have allowed you to sign up. Andplusalso you don't sign over temporary guardianship until you actually pass the physical to be in the military and sign the contract. But even if you did sign the the contract and failed the physicial, that means you were never military. How the hell do you keep this story straight?

    Because when you go into MEPS its a two day process, they put you in a hotel room and at the end of the second day you sign your contract, you cant sign your contract unless custody is taken care of. at least that is what my recruiter told me. He also told me my knee wouldn't be an issue because there was no medical documentation on it. I couldn't walk on the concrete floor on my knees. and that's where I failed. Something I found out wayyy later is that my recruiters job was in jeopardy because he hadn't recruited anyone in almost a year. The navy doesn't have a run this much in this amount of time and do these many push ups physical, like the other branches which is required to pass before going to MEPS which is a huge reason why I went for the Navy, because I can't do a single push up. you could have a gun pointed to my head and I couldn't do one. the physical test they do is at MEPS and its very basic, not a physical of endurance but if your body can handle simple things, like a duck walk, walking on your knees sitting on the ground and getting up with out using your hands, ect. 

    I keep my story straight because it is the truth. needless to say the recruiter that I had lost his job a couple months later for falsifying cadets paper work and trying to reword an arrest report to help someone get in. 
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  • rox7777rox7777 member
    SamanthaAshley820 said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    SamanthaAshley820 said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    I know quite a few dual military families and the only time you would sign over guardianship is in the case of dual deployment. HOWEVER, if you were single and just dating you would not have been able to join as per the rule stating that a single parent cannot join without either a) giving up custody or b) receiving consent from the other parent. Also, you never sign over custody in the case of dual military, you sign over temporary guardianship in the case of deployment and at the end of said deployment you regain your parental rights. If you were diagnosed as bipolar while under contract that means you were either honorably discharged or removed by some other means because I know for a fact bipolar disorder is a disqualifier. So either you lost custody because of your depression and inability to parent or your military obligation (which is highly unlikely). Either way by coming up with this story you lose a lot of respect from someone that is a military wife and knows the sacrifice that those who are military make.



    He was not military. So it wasn't dual anything. I was considered a single, never married mom. and they told me I could sign over temporary guardianship and get my guardianship back after I finished basic. I did what my Recruiter told me to do. I ended up not passing the physical requirements due to knee damage I had received in middle school. But at that point it was too late, I had signed the guardianship papers because my recruiter told me he wouldn't/couldn't take me to MEPS without me signing the court guardianship papers. I was actually told that I could sue my recruiter because he had ill advised me and I ended up in the "custody situation" that I am currently in. I am well aware of military sacrifices, I come from a family that has a lot of served time. Army, Marines and Navy. both my grandfathers, 2 uncles, and a cousin. I also have a lot of friends that are/were in the military because as I previously posted I was in JROTC throughout high school.
    If you had past injuries they wouldn't have allowed you to sign up. Andplusalso you don't sign over temporary guardianship until you actually pass the physical to be in the military and sign the contract. But even if you did sign the the contract and failed the physicial, that means you were never military.

    How the hell do you keep this story straight?


    Because when you go into MEPS its a two day process, they put you in a hotel room and at the end of the second day you sign your contract, you cant sign your contract unless custody is taken care of. at least that is what my recruiter told me. He also told me my knee wouldn't be an issue because there was no medical documentation on it. I couldn't walk on the concrete floor on my knees. and that's where I failed. Something I found out wayyy later is that my recruiters job was in jeopardy because he hadn't recruited anyone in almost a year. The navy doesn't have a run this much in this amount of time and do these many push ups physical, like the other branches which is required to pass before going to MEPS which is a huge reason why I went for the Navy, because I can't do a single push up. you could have a gun pointed to my head and I couldn't do one. the physical test they do is at MEPS and its very basic, not a physical of endurance but if your body can handle simple things, like a duck walk, walking on your knees sitting on the ground and getting up with out using your hands, ect. 

    I keep my story straight because it is the truth. needless to say the recruiter that I had lost his job a couple months later for falsifying cadets paper work and trying to reword an arrest report to help someone get in. 


    I know how MEPS works, I dropped my husband off, and don't go to MEPS until you've signed a contract because that's when you're sworn in. You do the physical before you sign a contract or get sworn in. This is all basic knowledge.
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  • mmk29mmk29 member
    VexyMommy said:
    mmk29 said:
    I'm so freaking confused right now. So you tried to be in the military but didn't pass basic, shouldn't that have immediately voided any parental guardianship issues? The very limited resources I know on this topic assured me that the second you become capable of being a parent again (whether that means you didn't pass basic or you're returning to duty) you would have immediately been reinstated as guardian. I really didn't want to know anyones medical history in regards to whatever is going on by "The Baby Door", but trying to piece things together I went back to look some stuff up and I'm REALLY confused about your SO sibling situation. In one thread you comment he's an only child, in several others you complain about your MIL and SIL. Then I stopped reading because my head hurt and I'm pregnant tired.
    I don't have a dog in this fight, but at one point after my daughter was born I attempted to join the Navy as well.  I scored really well on the ASVAB and the recruiter told me all kinds of things to get me to go in before I was physically ready.  I accepted his advice and lied about my run times and the fact that my knee had previously popped out of joint on a few occasions.  I was a scared kid doing what I thought I had to do to get myself and my daughter out of a crappy situation.  My knees became so screwed up during basic training in January in Illinois that I was unable to complete training.  I also had one young kid in basic tell me how because she was from Chicago her recruiter told her she could come home on weekends.  Because of this, I give a bit of leeway to someone saying their recruiter screwed them over and gave them incorrect legal advice.  Having worked in law, I know that what should happen and what does happen when it comes to legal matters don't always align the way they should.  

    I don't know Samantha from Adam and I don't know if what she says is true or not, but I can see how the circumstances she's stated are at least plausible.  There is another young mother I've worried over on these boards that I've suspected of possibly not being real.  I kind of hope that person's situation is made up, but her story is also plausible though with some incredibly large holes in it. 

    ETA:  I say I was a scared kid, but I was 22 and really should have known better.  On the other hand, my recruiter was in his 40's and signed his name to the witnessing paperwork so I feel partially absolved. 
    Thanks for the input, and I completely get that part. It's not the military part I was actually confused about. I get that recruiters stretch the truth to get you to sign on the dotted line, but where I'm confused is the actual custody portion of the agreement. If you have to sign paper work assigning custody while you're performing a military duty, how is there still a custody battle several years after not passing basic training? Did you have to sign away custody of your daughter, was their a clause if you didn't pass basic?
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  • VexyMommyVexyMommy member
    mmk29 said:
    VexyMommy said:
    mmk29 said:
    I'm so freaking confused right now. So you tried to be in the military but didn't pass basic, shouldn't that have immediately voided any parental guardianship issues? The very limited resources I know on this topic assured me that the second you become capable of being a parent again (whether that means you didn't pass basic or you're returning to duty) you would have immediately been reinstated as guardian. I really didn't want to know anyones medical history in regards to whatever is going on by "The Baby Door", but trying to piece things together I went back to look some stuff up and I'm REALLY confused about your SO sibling situation. In one thread you comment he's an only child, in several others you complain about your MIL and SIL. Then I stopped reading because my head hurt and I'm pregnant tired.
    I don't have a dog in this fight, but at one point after my daughter was born I attempted to join the Navy as well.  I scored really well on the ASVAB and the recruiter told me all kinds of things to get me to go in before I was physically ready.  I accepted his advice and lied about my run times and the fact that my knee had previously popped out of joint on a few occasions.  I was a scared kid doing what I thought I had to do to get myself and my daughter out of a crappy situation.  My knees became so screwed up during basic training in January in Illinois that I was unable to complete training.  I also had one young kid in basic tell me how because she was from Chicago her recruiter told her she could come home on weekends.  Because of this, I give a bit of leeway to someone saying their recruiter screwed them over and gave them incorrect legal advice.  Having worked in law, I know that what should happen and what does happen when it comes to legal matters don't always align the way they should.  

    I don't know Samantha from Adam and I don't know if what she says is true or not, but I can see how the circumstances she's stated are at least plausible.  There is another young mother I've worried over on these boards that I've suspected of possibly not being real.  I kind of hope that person's situation is made up, but her story is also plausible though with some incredibly large holes in it. 

    ETA:  I say I was a scared kid, but I was 22 and really should have known better.  On the other hand, my recruiter was in his 40's and signed his name to the witnessing paperwork so I feel partially absolved. 
    Thanks for the input, and I completely get that part. It's not the military part I was actually confused about. I get that recruiters stretch the truth to get you to sign on the dotted line, but where I'm confused is the actual custody portion of the agreement. If you have to sign paper work assigning custody while you're performing a military duty, how is there still a custody battle several years after not passing basic training? Did you have to sign away custody of your daughter, was their a clause if you didn't pass basic?
    I don't know her situation, but I have seen some custody paperwork.  Most of the time lawyers, especially if they're low paid or staff lawyers at child support/jag offices, will put in the least amount of effort necessary to check the boxes.  If the assumption was the grandmother would give the kids back, why spend the extra time writing up clauses for something that wasn't likely to happen.  Again, I don't know the situation, but I see the scenario she explained as being plausible. 

    I'm also betting she may have thought it was a good idea to let grandma keep the baby for a while until she could get things legally under control with the abusive father.  I don't know, but in a situation like that I'd want my child kept safe and out of the way until I was in a position to protect her.  I could also see a grandmother's skepticism that a young mother and her boyfriend could provide a better environment for the child and fighting to retain custody. 
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  • LSRooLSRoo member
    rbradshaw77 said:

    LSRoo said:

    I cannot fathom not having custody of my child because I signed up for the navy and didn't get in. I would be standing outside of the courthouse every single day. Why wouldn't your grandparents just give her back to you if the only issue was the navy??

    I am sorry but this makes no sense.

    image

    You wouldn't have to. Guardianship is a temporary situation set up for the child to have care during basic/AIT/deployments. In the event that one does not pass basic, the contract becomes null and void, including the guardianship clause.
    The contract only holds if you actually pass your training and become active duty. DH has a guardianship clause for his daughter and guess what? It doesn't apply to everyday life; it specifically states in the case of training or deployment his baby momma or mother will take care of her.
    So the military story Samantha is telling cannot be the reason she doesn't have her daughter.
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  • rox7777rox7777 member
    LSRoo said:

    rbradshaw77 said:

    LSRoo said:

    I cannot fathom not having custody of my child because I signed up for the navy and didn't get in. I would be standing outside of the courthouse every single day. Why wouldn't your grandparents just give her back to you if the only issue was the navy??

    I am sorry but this makes no sense.

    image

    You wouldn't have to. Guardianship is a temporary situation set up for the child to have care during basic/AIT/deployments. In the event that one does not pass basic, the contract becomes null and void, including the guardianship clause.
    The contract only holds if you actually pass your training and become active duty. DH has a guardianship clause for his daughter and guess what? It doesn't apply to everyday life; it specifically states in the case of training or deployment his baby momma or mother will take care of her.
    So the military story Samantha is telling cannot be the reason she doesn't have her daughter.
    If the contract held after failing basic, that means there would be a lot of people in jail for owing the military time and service. The contract allows for those that fail to void the contract because it means they're not capable of fulfilling their end of the bargain.
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  • VexyMommyVexyMommy member
    You wouldn't have to. Guardianship is a temporary situation set up for the child to have care during basic/AIT/deployments. In the event that one does not pass basic, the contract becomes null and void, including the guardianship clause. The contract only holds if you actually pass your training and become active duty. DH has a guardianship clause for his daughter and guess what? It doesn't apply to everyday life; it specifically states in the case of training or deployment his baby momma or mother will take care of her.
    So the military story Samantha is telling cannot be the reason she doesn't have her daughter.
    I didn't realize that.  I've known people who gave up custody temporarily as opposed to a guardianship agreement like your DH has with his daughter.  Again, I don't have a dog in this fight I just think it's plausible with some holes.  I think most of us would have some holes in what we've posted though if it were carefully scrutinized. 
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  • rox7777rox7777 member
    VexyMommy said:

    You wouldn't have to. Guardianship is a temporary situation set up for the child to have care during basic/AIT/deployments. In the event that one does not pass basic, the contract becomes null and void, including the guardianship clause.
    The contract only holds if you actually pass your training and become active duty. DH has a guardianship clause for his daughter and guess what? It doesn't apply to everyday life; it specifically states in the case of training or deployment his baby momma or mother will take care of her.


    So the military story Samantha is telling cannot be the reason she doesn't have her daughter.

    I didn't realize that.  I've known people who gave up custody temporarily as opposed to a guardianship agreement like your DH has with his daughter.  Again, I don't have a dog in this fight I just think it's plausible with some holes.  I think most of us would have some holes in what we've posted though if it were carefully scrutinized. 


    For the most part the military is very cut and dry in the case of guardianship and custody. My husband couldn't sign his contract he proved that his daughter did not rely on him as her sole parent. You can always void guardianship with the military, my husband did it a year ago when his baby momma tried to get married and have his daughter adopted by her new husband. In any case, the contract is void if you fail basic, and if taken to court guardianship would never hold up because she never fulfilled her contract and became active. I know quite a lot about all of this, including custody rules because DH has a 6 year old from a previous relationship.

    I'm honestly not even being snarky, I just know quite a bit and when stories don't add up, I always ask questions, Nancy Drew and I go way back.

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  • rox7777rox7777 member
    VexyMommy said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    VexyMommy said:

    You wouldn't have to. Guardianship is a temporary situation set up for the child to have care during basic/AIT/deployments. In the event that one does not pass basic, the contract becomes null and void, including the guardianship clause.
    The contract only holds if you actually pass your training and become active duty. DH has a guardianship clause for his daughter and guess what? It doesn't apply to everyday life; it specifically states in the case of training or deployment his baby momma or mother will take care of her.


    So the military story Samantha is telling cannot be the reason she doesn't have her daughter.

    I didn't realize that.  I've known people who gave up custody temporarily as opposed to a guardianship agreement like your DH has with his daughter.  Again, I don't have a dog in this fight I just think it's plausible with some holes.  I think most of us would have some holes in what we've posted though if it were carefully scrutinized. 
    For the most part the military is very cut and dry in the case of guardianship and custody. My husband couldn't sign his contract he proved that his daughter did not rely on him as her sole parent. You can always void guardianship with the military, my husband did it a year ago when his baby momma tried to get married and have his daughter adopted by her new husband. In any case, the contract is void if you fail basic, and if taken to court guardianship would never hold up because she never fulfilled her contract and became active. I know quite a lot about all of this, including custody rules because DH has a 6 year old from a previous relationship.

    I'm honestly not even being snarky, I just know quite a bit and when stories don't add up, I always ask questions, Nancy Drew and I go way back.


    I tend to cling to rainbows and kittens until the last possible second.  That said I LOVE Nancy Drew books and am so excited that the 10yr old has started reading them.  She loves them and Goosebumps.  It makes me so freaking excited that she's starting to like some of the books that I enjoyed as a kid.  The 9yr old has begun to love reading too although she struggles with it, which actually makes me a bit more proud of her accomplishments in reading than the 10yr old for whom academics comes easily. 


    I have the Hardy Boys for DS to read one day. I'm not sure he'd like Judy Moody or Nancy Drew. Lol.
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  • rox7777rox7777 member
    VexyMommy said:


    jjr1214 said:

    @Vexymommy That is so exciting, I can't wait for my kids to start reading! I'm not a big "my kid MUST be involved in certain activities" person but I admit I will be sad if they don't like to read. 


    Reading for me is such an important part of being a well rounded person.  I'm not in a position to send my children on trips to see the world or hit up major museums frequently, but I can bring them books like Kim about India, The Little Prince about Europe and aristocracy, Number the Stars or Anne Frank's diary to teach about WWII, A Wrinkle in Time series to foster an interest in science, and non-fiction works that allow me to bring the world to them. 

    Can you tell I spent my childhood with more friends inside books than outside.  lol.  The 10yr old is introverted and cautious like me whereas my 9yr old never meets a stranger.  It's interesting to see the differences in the two and how those differences are expressed in things like book choices where they have the same options. 


    This is 100% my husband and I. I spent my life with my nose in a book and still do most days now that I'm a SAHM. I graduated with a 4.2 and honors and got a full ride to 3 colleges.
    DH is a total social butterfly, insanely smart, but he hates academics. He does well in the military because he can talk to people and he's a natural leader. DS1 talks to everyone and loves to be the center of attention.
    For his birthday he got a microphone and a mini stage. Maybe DS2 will take a page from my nerd book.
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  • modanz1modanz1 member
    VexyMommy said:
    jjr1214 said:
    @Vexymommy That is so exciting, I can't wait for my kids to start reading! I'm not a big "my kid MUST be involved in certain activities" person but I admit I will be sad if they don't like to read. 

    Reading for me is such an important part of being a well rounded person.  I'm not in a position to send my children on trips to see the world or hit up major museums frequently, but I can bring them books like Kim about India, The Little Prince about Europe and aristocracy, Number the Stars or Anne Frank's diary to teach about WWII, A Wrinkle in Time series to foster an interest in science, and non-fiction works that allow me to bring the world to them. 

    Can you tell I spent my childhood with more friends inside books than outside.  lol.  The 10yr old is introverted and cautious like me whereas my 9yr old never meets a stranger.  It's interesting to see the differences in the two and how those differences are expressed in things like book choices where they have the same options. 
    Not to mention reading helps establish a diverse vocabulary & allows for a mental escape in to a whole new world.  I hope my children love to read as much as I do.
    YCSWU 



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  • Peony1982Peony1982 member
    edited June 2015
    SamanthaAshley820 said:
    rbradshaw77 said:
    rbradshaw77 said:
    I know quite a few dual military families and the only time you would sign over guardianship is in the case of dual deployment. HOWEVER, if you were single and just dating you would not have been able to join as per the rule stating that a single parent cannot join without either a) giving up custody or b) receiving consent from the other parent. Also, you never sign over custody in the case of dual military, you sign over temporary guardianship in the case of deployment and at the end of said deployment you regain your parental rights. If you were diagnosed as bipolar while under contract that means you were either honorably discharged or removed by some other means because I know for a fact bipolar disorder is a disqualifier. So either you lost custody because of your depression and inability to parent or your military obligation (which is highly unlikely). Either way by coming up with this story you lose a lot of respect from someone that is a military wife and knows the sacrifice that those who are military make.


    He was not military. So it wasn't dual anything. I was considered a single, never married mom. and they told me I could sign over temporary guardianship and get my guardianship back after I finished basic. I did what my Recruiter told me to do. I ended up not passing the physical requirements due to knee damage I had received in middle school. But at that point it was too late, I had signed the guardianship papers because my recruiter told me he wouldn't/couldn't take me to MEPS without me signing the court guardianship papers. I was actually told that I could sue my recruiter because he had ill advised me and I ended up in the "custody situation" that I am currently in. I am well aware of military sacrifices, I come from a family that has a lot of served time. Army, Marines and Navy. both my grandfathers, 2 uncles, and a cousin. I also have a lot of friends that are/were in the military because as I previously posted I was in JROTC throughout high school.
    If you had past injuries they wouldn't have allowed you to sign up. Andplusalso you don't sign over temporary guardianship until you actually pass the physical to be in the military and sign the contract. But even if you did sign the the contract and failed the physicial, that means you were never military. How the hell do you keep this story straight?

    Because when you go into MEPS its a two day process, they put you in a hotel room and at the end of the second day you sign your contract, you cant sign your contract unless custody is taken care of. at least that is what my recruiter told me. He also told me my knee wouldn't be an issue because there was no medical documentation on it. I couldn't walk on the concrete floor on my knees. and that's where I failed. Something I found out wayyy later is that my recruiters job was in jeopardy because he hadn't recruited anyone in almost a year. The navy doesn't have a run this much in this amount of time and do these many push ups physical, like the other branches which is required to pass before going to MEPS which is a huge reason why I went for the Navy, because I can't do a single push up. you could have a gun pointed to my head and I couldn't do one. the physical test they do is at MEPS and its very basic, not a physical of endurance but if your body can handle simple things, like a duck walk, walking on your knees sitting on the ground and getting up with out using your hands, ect. 

    I keep my story straight because it is the truth. needless to say the recruiter that I had lost his job a couple months later for falsifying cadets paper work and trying to reword an arrest report to help someone get in. 

    Someone with more military knowledge feel free to correct me, but I don't believe there is such thing as cadets in the navy?? I interned in college in a navy department, and my brother is a Naval Officer...and they'd actually get pissed if someone referred to them as cadets.
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  • rox7777rox7777 member
    edited June 2015
    Peony1982 said:


    SamanthaAshley820 said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    SamanthaAshley820 said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    I know quite a few dual military families and the only time you would sign over guardianship is in the case of dual deployment. HOWEVER, if you were single and just dating you would not have been able to join as per the rule stating that a single parent cannot join without either a) giving up custody or b) receiving consent from the other parent. Also, you never sign over custody in the case of dual military, you sign over temporary guardianship in the case of deployment and at the end of said deployment you regain your parental rights. If you were diagnosed as bipolar while under contract that means you were either honorably discharged or removed by some other means because I know for a fact bipolar disorder is a disqualifier. So either you lost custody because of your depression and inability to parent or your military obligation (which is highly unlikely). Either way by coming up with this story you lose a lot of respect from someone that is a military wife and knows the sacrifice that those who are military make.



    He was not military. So it wasn't dual anything. I was considered a single, never married mom. and they told me I could sign over temporary guardianship and get my guardianship back after I finished basic. I did what my Recruiter told me to do. I ended up not passing the physical requirements due to knee damage I had received in middle school. But at that point it was too late, I had signed the guardianship papers because my recruiter told me he wouldn't/couldn't take me to MEPS without me signing the court guardianship papers. I was actually told that I could sue my recruiter because he had ill advised me and I ended up in the "custody situation" that I am currently in. I am well aware of military sacrifices, I come from a family that has a lot of served time. Army, Marines and Navy. both my grandfathers, 2 uncles, and a cousin. I also have a lot of friends that are/were in the military because as I previously posted I was in JROTC throughout high school.
    If you had past injuries they wouldn't have allowed you to sign up. Andplusalso you don't sign over temporary guardianship until you actually pass the physical to be in the military and sign the contract. But even if you did sign the the contract and failed the physicial, that means you were never military.

    How the hell do you keep this story straight?


    Because when you go into MEPS its a two day process, they put you in a hotel room and at the end of the second day you sign your contract, you cant sign your contract unless custody is taken care of. at least that is what my recruiter told me. He also told me my knee wouldn't be an issue because there was no medical documentation on it. I couldn't walk on the concrete floor on my knees. and that's where I failed. Something I found out wayyy later is that my recruiters job was in jeopardy because he hadn't recruited anyone in almost a year. The navy doesn't have a run this much in this amount of time and do these many push ups physical, like the other branches which is required to pass before going to MEPS which is a huge reason why I went for the Navy, because I can't do a single push up. you could have a gun pointed to my head and I couldn't do one. the physical test they do is at MEPS and its very basic, not a physical of endurance but if your body can handle simple things, like a duck walk, walking on your knees sitting on the ground and getting up with out using your hands, ect. 

    I keep my story straight because it is the truth. needless to say the recruiter that I had lost his job a couple months later for falsifying cadets paper work and trying to reword an arrest report to help someone get in. 






    Someone with more military knowledge feel free to correct me, but I don't believe there is such thing as cadets in the navy?? I interned in college in a navy department, and my brother is a Naval Officer...and they'd actually get pissed if someone referred to them as cadets.

    Cadet is not a rank of any of the military branches. It's a rank reserved for those in JROTC or ROTC. The lowest rank in the navy is a seaman.
    Trust me, my husband who is army loves to make fun of the seamen. "60 men go down, 30 couples come up"

    ETA: DH navy cadets are those who are in training to become commissioned officers, which would be impossible if she was signing up as an enlisted solider.
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  • Peony1982Peony1982 member
    rbradshaw77 said:
    SamanthaAshley820 said:
    rbradshaw77 said:
    rbradshaw77 said:
    I know quite a few dual military families and the only time you would sign over guardianship is in the case of dual deployment. HOWEVER, if you were single and just dating you would not have been able to join as per the rule stating that a single parent cannot join without either a) giving up custody or b) receiving consent from the other parent. Also, you never sign over custody in the case of dual military, you sign over temporary guardianship in the case of deployment and at the end of said deployment you regain your parental rights. If you were diagnosed as bipolar while under contract that means you were either honorably discharged or removed by some other means because I know for a fact bipolar disorder is a disqualifier. So either you lost custody because of your depression and inability to parent or your military obligation (which is highly unlikely). Either way by coming up with this story you lose a lot of respect from someone that is a military wife and knows the sacrifice that those who are military make.


    He was not military. So it wasn't dual anything. I was considered a single, never married mom. and they told me I could sign over temporary guardianship and get my guardianship back after I finished basic. I did what my Recruiter told me to do. I ended up not passing the physical requirements due to knee damage I had received in middle school. But at that point it was too late, I had signed the guardianship papers because my recruiter told me he wouldn't/couldn't take me to MEPS without me signing the court guardianship papers. I was actually told that I could sue my recruiter because he had ill advised me and I ended up in the "custody situation" that I am currently in. I am well aware of military sacrifices, I come from a family that has a lot of served time. Army, Marines and Navy. both my grandfathers, 2 uncles, and a cousin. I also have a lot of friends that are/were in the military because as I previously posted I was in JROTC throughout high school.
    If you had past injuries they wouldn't have allowed you to sign up. Andplusalso you don't sign over temporary guardianship until you actually pass the physical to be in the military and sign the contract. But even if you did sign the the contract and failed the physicial, that means you were never military. How the hell do you keep this story straight?

    Because when you go into MEPS its a two day process, they put you in a hotel room and at the end of the second day you sign your contract, you cant sign your contract unless custody is taken care of. at least that is what my recruiter told me. He also told me my knee wouldn't be an issue because there was no medical documentation on it. I couldn't walk on the concrete floor on my knees. and that's where I failed. Something I found out wayyy later is that my recruiters job was in jeopardy because he hadn't recruited anyone in almost a year. The navy doesn't have a run this much in this amount of time and do these many push ups physical, like the other branches which is required to pass before going to MEPS which is a huge reason why I went for the Navy, because I can't do a single push up. you could have a gun pointed to my head and I couldn't do one. the physical test they do is at MEPS and its very basic, not a physical of endurance but if your body can handle simple things, like a duck walk, walking on your knees sitting on the ground and getting up with out using your hands, ect. 

    I keep my story straight because it is the truth. needless to say the recruiter that I had lost his job a couple months later for falsifying cadets paper work and trying to reword an arrest report to help someone get in. 

    Someone with more military knowledge feel free to correct me, but I don't believe there is such thing as cadets in the navy?? I interned in college in a navy department, and my brother is a Naval Officer...and they'd actually get pissed if someone referred to them as cadets.
    Cadet is not a rank of any of the military branches. It's a rank reserved for those in JROTC or ROTC. The lowest rank in the navy is a seaman. Trust me, my husband who is army loves to make fun of the seamen. "60 men go down, 30 couples come up" ETA: DH navy cadets are those who are in training to become commissioned officers, which would be impossible if she was signing up as an enlisted solider.

    Maybe in OCS, they are cadets, but if you do Navy ROTC or Naval Academy, you're a Midshipman. They get very testy when you confuse that with Cadet.
    Report Reply
  • rox7777rox7777 member
    Peony1982 said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    Peony1982 said:


    SamanthaAshley820 said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    SamanthaAshley820 said:


    rbradshaw77 said:

    I know quite a few dual military families and the only time you would sign over guardianship is in the case of dual deployment. HOWEVER, if you were single and just dating you would not have been able to join as per the rule stating that a single parent cannot join without either a) giving up custody or b) receiving consent from the other parent. Also, you never sign over custody in the case of dual military, you sign over temporary guardianship in the case of deployment and at the end of said deployment you regain your parental rights. If you were diagnosed as bipolar while under contract that means you were either honorably discharged or removed by some other means because I know for a fact bipolar disorder is a disqualifier. So either you lost custody because of your depression and inability to parent or your military obligation (which is highly unlikely). Either way by coming up with this story you lose a lot of respect from someone that is a military wife and knows the sacrifice that those who are military make.



    He was not military. So it wasn't dual anything. I was considered a single, never married mom. and they told me I could sign over temporary guardianship and get my guardianship back after I finished basic. I did what my Recruiter told me to do. I ended up not passing the physical requirements due to knee damage I had received in middle school. But at that point it was too late, I had signed the guardianship papers because my recruiter told me he wouldn't/couldn't take me to MEPS without me signing the court guardianship papers. I was actually told that I could sue my recruiter because he had ill advised me and I ended up in the "custody situation" that I am currently in. I am well aware of military sacrifices, I come from a family that has a lot of served time. Army, Marines and Navy. both my grandfathers, 2 uncles, and a cousin. I also have a lot of friends that are/were in the military because as I previously posted I was in JROTC throughout high school.
    If you had past injuries they wouldn't have allowed you to sign up. Andplusalso you don't sign over temporary guardianship until you actually pass the physical to be in the military and sign the contract. But even if you did sign the the contract and failed the physicial, that means you were never military.

    How the hell do you keep this story straight?


    Because when you go into MEPS its a two day process, they put you in a hotel room and at the end of the second day you sign your contract, you cant sign your contract unless custody is taken care of. at least that is what my recruiter told me. He also told me my knee wouldn't be an issue because there was no medical documentation on it. I couldn't walk on the concrete floor on my knees. and that's where I failed. Something I found out wayyy later is that my recruiters job was in jeopardy because he hadn't recruited anyone in almost a year. The navy doesn't have a run this much in this amount of time and do these many push ups physical, like the other branches which is required to pass before going to MEPS which is a huge reason why I went for the Navy, because I can't do a single push up. you could have a gun pointed to my head and I couldn't do one. the physical test they do is at MEPS and its very basic, not a physical of endurance but if your body can handle simple things, like a duck walk, walking on your knees sitting on the ground and getting up with out using your hands, ect. 

    I keep my story straight because it is the truth. needless to say the recruiter that I had lost his job a couple months later for falsifying cadets paper work and trying to reword an arrest report to help someone get in. 




    Someone with more military knowledge feel free to correct me, but I don't believe there is such thing as cadets in the navy?? I interned in college in a navy department, and my brother is a Naval Officer...and they'd actually get pissed if someone referred to them as cadets.

    Cadet is not a rank of any of the military branches. It's a rank reserved for those in JROTC or ROTC. The lowest rank in the navy is a seaman.
    Trust me, my husband who is army loves to make fun of the seamen. "60 men go down, 30 couples come up"

    ETA: DH navy cadets are those who are in training to become commissioned officers, which would be impossible if she was signing up as an enlisted solider.






    Maybe in OCS, they are cadets, but if you do Navy ROTC or Naval Academy, you're a Midshipman. They get very testy when you confuse that with Cadet.

    Either way, another valid point has been given in the attempt to get to the truth, so there's that.

    Report Reply
  • kwaldykwaldy member
    FFFC: If I could have financially afforded to quit my job today, I would have. I don't work well with dumb... and my coworkers are definitely falling in that category lately.
    Also... if my stepdaughter asks me again the question I told her no to 23 times already, I might snap. ... Shit I'm a horrible person.
    Report Reply
  • VexyMommyVexyMommy member
    kwaldy said:
    FFFC: If I could have financially afforded to quit my job today, I would have. I don't work well with dumb... and my coworkers are definitely falling in that category lately. Also... if my stepdaughter asks me again the question I told her no to 23 times already, I might snap. ... Shit I'm a horrible person.
    Is it too early for bedtime?  lol. 
    June Siggy Challenge image
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  • SquirtgunSquirtgun member
    FWIW, reading everything as well as I can, she didn't say she was being recruited as a cadet, just that the guy got in trouble for something to do with recruiting cadets.
    As PP said, I don't have a dog in this fight, but it seems like some people are hanging the argument on that, so thought I'd point it out.
    But, there's so much going on I'm not really sure I follow any of it, so that might not be what y'all are talking about anyway.
    * goes back to hiding away from this conversation*
    Report Reply
  • VexyMommyVexyMommy member
    I really want to go to my friends "Birthdayween" that she and her roommates hold every year to celebrate Halloween and 2 of my friend's birthdays.  It's usually held the weekend before Halloween and in a city about 4hrs away from me.  I'm due on November 6 and I can't go this year.  I really want to go because I am planning the most adorable Olaf costume ever and want to show it off. 
    June Siggy Challenge image
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  • kwaldykwaldy member
    edited June 2015
    VexyMommy said:


    kwaldy said:

    FFFC: If I could have financially afforded to quit my job today, I would have. I don't work well with dumb... and my coworkers are definitely falling in that category lately.
    Also... if my stepdaughter asks me again the question I told her no to 23 times already, I might snap. ... Shit I'm a horrible person.

    Is it too early for bedtime?  lol. 


    Almost! 20 more minutes...

    Edit: weird block quote... probably still jacked up but maybe this is better
    Report Reply
  • rmbuchholzrmbuchholz member
    edited June 2015
    @VexyMommy I agree with other posters, seriously can't imagine someone referring to you as trying too hard to fit in. You give the straight truth when we need to hear it, you say what needs to be said, and at the same time you manage to be supportive and encouraging to so many of us. We all love you! (Pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.)

    Edit: whoaa sorry, didn't realize how late to the game I was on this, just saw that one comment from you about maybe it being you and typed a response right away.

    FFC: sometimes those long block quotes on here drive me crazy (at least on mobile) - I feel like I'm reading through one of those chain email threads
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  • jesshock22jesshock22 member
    I'm confused. Why can't she have a SIL if her DH is an only child? My DH is an only child but I have a SIL because my brother is married. Couldn't she have been referring to a SIL on her side of the family?

    PS-I have no dog in this fight either.
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  • rox7777rox7777 member
    edited June 2015
    jesshock22 said:

    I'm confused. Why can't she have a SIL if her DH is an only child? My DH is an only child but I have a SIL because my brother is married. Couldn't she have been referring to a SIL on her side of the family?

    PS-I have no dog in this fight either.

    She specifically stated she hated her finance's sisters on another thread but a few threads before that she stated he was an only child. Generally changing your stories causes questions, especially when you start messing up with details like that.

    ETA: I promise I'm not being mean, I'm just curious and I want to know the real story now.
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  • SamanthaAshley820SamanthaAshley820 member
    My fiance was adopted out when he was 10. He has 3 biological sisters and one brother but he was the only one that was adopted by his adoptive parents. They were all spilt apart with the exception of 2 of his sisters.

    They got back in contact a few months before him and I got together; because of a grandparents death and the will. Ever since then it has been a hot mess of a situation.

    The guardianship papers were done through the county court, not the military.

    The contract with the military was due to be signed the second day of MEPS because day one was the ASVAB and you can't sign a contract without a job and you can't get a job without the ASVAB.

    Even though I temporarily signed away guardianship and custody I still have to go to the court house and show them that I can financially, emotionally and physically support my daughter without anyones help. Which has been difficult because when I went to go to file papers with the court 3 years ago my grandmother kicked me out and told me I was no longer welcome to live there. Which meant I had to find a new living situation and become "stable" and show that it's a "permanent" situation.

    Then for her mental health I had to slowly start to integrate her into a new environment and now, after years of getting my situation seamless I can start the process again. Because if my grandma does try to fight me and I lose, then it will become a million times harder for me to get my daughter. I have been there everyday, or she has been here. There is not a day my daughter does not see or talk to me. I'm not lying, I'm not a poor excuse of an adult. I was 17 and pregnant and then had a lot of shit happen and now I'm a 23 year old adult piecing back together the aftermath of a bunch of poor decisions, mistakes, and unfortunate events.

    Did I miss anything?
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  • SamanthaAshley820SamanthaAshley820 member
    I'm sorry that you can't accept that someone may have a complicated life; and doesn't have shit picture perfect like how you act your lives are. Tell me where it would have been appropriate for me to go into excessive detail about all of my families personal situations at any point in time? Like I said; your seals of approval mean nothing to me; but I am not a liar...I never have been. And it's not something I plan on starting; ever. There's actually a whole lot more fucked up in my life and my past that I haven't told you all at all...why? Because it's not pertinent...to anything. I've been through a whole lot; and its upsetting that a bunch of grown women want to act like they're in high school...
    Report Reply
  • HoneyBadgerDoesNotCareHoneyBadgerDoesNotCare member
    SamanthaAshley820 said:

    I'm sorry that you can't accept that someone may have a complicated life; and doesn't have shit picture perfect like how you act your lives are. Tell me where it would have been appropriate for me to go into excessive detail about all of my families personal situations at any point in time? Like I said; your seals of approval mean nothing to me; but I am not a liar...I never have been. And it's not something I plan on starting; ever. There's actually a whole lot more fucked up in my life and my past that I haven't told you all at all...why? Because it's not pertinent...to anything. I've been through a whole lot; and its upsetting that a bunch of grown women want to act like they're in high school...

    We were only questioning the holes in your story because catfishes are NOT WELCOME
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