Is it wrong to have a shower/Diaper Party for 3rd child, first boy?

kaylalyn076 · June 2015

We're pregnant with our 3rd child and it happens to be a boy this time after 2 girls. So would it be wrong to have a Baby shower for him or would a Diaper Party be better or should both of those be no no's?

amberrmariee20 · June 2015

I have an almost 4 year old son, and I'm having another son. It's my bfs first child, and we are having a baby shower. My mother and MIL want to. It's a big thing here to have multiple baby showers. It would all depend on how comfortable you are with it, and if someone wants to throw you one. My sister has 3 boys, on her 4th boy and she had a small shower.

tate62610 · June 2015

Hahaha ehhhh get ready for some unsavory answers. I don't mind going to multiple showers for the same family. First go round, I splurge on the gift. Second go round etc, it's usually pacis, bottles, diapers and wipes from me.

jenn2132 · June 2015

I have two boys my youngest is 7 and we are having our first girl. Im having a women only shower some time in August. My brother has graciously offered up his home and was trying to convince me to make it a co-ed shower but I opted for a smaller women only shower because I want to keep it low key since I had a big co-ed shower with my first. I'm sure you'll have a lot of people say it's not proper etiquette to have a second shower but I personally don't see any issue with it

J1D · June 2015

*Straps on helmet. Buckles on chest armor. Puts on flame resistant gloves. Looks cautiously to the left, then right... Checks over shoulder... Lowers protective goggles... Very carefully... Slowly... Making no sudden movements....eases into conversation about baby shower etiquette...*

I've been reading, commenting on and then analyzing these posts and talking to friends and family and I've come to the conclusion that a lot of the etiquette is either regional or generational. Since we have people from all different places and ages on here I don't think it's actually fair or accurate to ask what is blanketly "correct." Most of the people I've talked to in real life have never heard of half the rules people come up with on here and those who have heard of these "rules" don't care about them and don't follow them. So according to my personal regional and generational standards there really aren't any rules about what party you have when or who throws it. And since the only people I actually have to deal with in real life share the same regional and generational standards as me - here, amongst my friends and family- you could do either a second shower or a diaper party. Whichever works for you. My friends and family and I wouldn't have a problem with either and would be happy to attend and celebrate with you in whatever fashion suits your preferences.

*Runs and ducks for cover and hopes to make it out of this conversation unscathed.*

bbiutmcph · June 2015

Yes.

I have two boys and having my first girl. No showers as I was already welcomes into motherhood. I will add a few girly things to my neutral items I have. Diaper parties are very tacky. Having a party where you dictate exactly what to bring like the huggies and chuggies that Pinterest is so famous for promoting is rude. If you want to celebrate the baby have a sip and see, meet the baby party after he is born.

kaylalyn076 · June 2015

Thank You! My sister wants to throw us one since it's our first boy and we only had a shower with our second who's now 4. I never knew people had more than one. Thanks Ladies!

JaqiDec04 · June 2015

tate62610 said:
Hahaha ehhhh get ready for some unsavory answers. I don't mind going to multiple showers for the same family. First go round, I splurge on the gift. Second go round etc, it's usually pacis, bottles, diapers and wipes from me.

This. Second babies do not get big items (accept maybe the grandmas etc who always spend too much) It's about toys and clothes, blankets, smaller items, especially if it's a different sex.

I'm having a baby shower for #2. My Aunt started planning before we even found out it's a boy this time. I just made her promise to keep it small.

wassuphoes · June 2015

I wouldn't, it's very tacky

If your host won't take no for an answer, keep it very small and family only. (Of like, just your two BFFs if it'd a friend who wants to host it and then it's no family ) you do not ever throw your own shower, ever.

NoSugarCoating · June 2015

kaylalyn076 said:

We're pregnant with our 3rd child and it happens to be a boy this time after 2 girls. So would it be wrong to have a Baby shower for him or would a Diaper Party be better or should both of those be no no's?

Both no. Emphatically NO.

Sweet Sadie Mae · June 2015

Around here people view showers as celebrating the babies and some do multiples. Some of my family have been asking but I've turned down shower offers. Baby doesn't need a thing (we bought whay we need and had stuff saved from our daughter) and I'll probably have people over to see the baby after he's home and no doubt people will want bring him small gifts anyway so I'm one and done with the showers.

J1D · June 2015

@BrooklynBroussard

) Not fair! I didn't put on my anti cat scratch chaps! I am unprepared to handle this!

)

danixbanani24 · June 2015

J1D said:

*Straps on helmet. Buckles on chest armor. Puts on flame resistant gloves. Looks cautiously to the left, then right... Checks over shoulder... Lowers protective goggles... Very carefully... Slowly... Making no sudden movements....eases into conversation about baby shower etiquette...* I've been reading, commenting on and then analyzing these posts and talking to friends and family and I've come to the conclusion that a lot of the etiquette is either regional or generational. Since we have people from all different places and ages on here I don't think it's actually fair or accurate to ask what is blanketly "correct." Most of the people I've talked to in real life have never heard of half the rules people come up with on here and those who have heard of these "rules" don't care about them and don't follow them. So according to my personal regional and generational standards there really aren't any rules about what party you have when or who throws it. And since the only people I actually have to deal with in real life share the same regional and generational standards as me - here, amongst my friends and family- you could do either a second shower or a diaper party. Whichever works for you. My friends and family and I wouldn't have a problem with either and would be happy to attend and celebrate with you in whatever fashion suits your preferences. *Runs and ducks for cover and hopes to make it out of this conversation unscathed.*

*claps* thank you!

Msdpgp · June 2015

No to both. Tacky.

jenspeake · June 2015

Was the second slap really necessary @BrooklynBroussard?

)

You girls crack me up!

CodiSilsby · June 2015

Go for it! Every baby deserves a celebration! Plus....cake! Haha

J1D · June 2015

Well @jenspeake , you see, the first slap is just to get your attention to make sure you are really "listening" when the second slap is delivered. It's a valid strategy. I support it.

ElleMF728 · June 2015

I definitely side eye anyone who has showers for 2nd, 3rd etc. children no matter the sex and it isn't just about etiquette (well not entirely). It isn't my fault if you registered for a pink car seat the first time around despite knowing that your next child may have different genitalia than your first.

I'd like to point out that just in my and DH's family this year alone we have 2 wedding showers, 3 weddings, 6 babies, and 3 graduation parties. Every time I attend one of these events it takes time away from my own family and a decent amount of money from my bank account. Now, I love my family and friends and certainly don't mind celebrating and spending money on them but if every single person in my life had an event for every single child they had, the costs and time spent away from home on my "day off" would add up to a point I am no longer comfortable with.

I'm not selfish or a bad friend because I would prefer to spend my Sunday doing something with my 2 year old or my husband rather than sit and make small talk with strangers while I spend my money buying you a new swing because you gave away the first one I bought you.

Something small with no registry if your host won't take no for an answer is more acceptable.

Rikki_5 · June 2015

I never knew about all these rules until I got married last year and now pregnant. I'm a FTM so my host is going all out, renting a hall, decorations, etc. But I think that having a shower for a 2nd or 3rd child is fine. Maybe keep it more scaled back, only register for small items but why not?! A lot of these "rules" are out of date in my opinion. Just like if you get married a second time, why shouldn't you have a wedding shower again or a bachlorette party? Just my opinion! Have fun, enjoy life, we need more parties and reasons to celebrate. I think a new baby is a great reason whether it's the first or not!

rgisaly · June 2015

I truly do not understand why people have such an issue with this. If someone wants to throw you a shower or even if you want to do something your self whether it's your first baby or 10th baby why is that wrong. I look at it as a celebration of this baby and a chance to celebrate with friends and family!

rosebby7 · June 2015

You should have a shower for every child

RainbowMama7 · June 2015

Having a small baby q!

bbiutmcph · June 2015

@BrooklynBroussard

I would totes buy from your pet registry. Anything for the furbabies. I'm sad to say I googled for fun pet shower things and only got very bizarre baby shower invites with cats in bags and then pets taking actual showers. However you could totally be starting a new market of things with this avenue.

devonsd315 · June 2015

I think that since your sister offered, it slides this into the category of "maybe ok". I just would only register for small, inexpensive boy stuff. Nothing big. If you register at all.

I went to a baby shower for a second baby a few months ago. The mom was living overseas for her first baby and so didn't have a shower. She registered for a few things, but she only got clothes. Because she already had all the big stuff (or people assumed).

If one my friends had something like this, I would most likely see it as a fun time to get together with friends while giving her some baby clothes that I probably would have gotten her anyways. But if she had a huge registry with a new blue stroller, for instance, the eye rolling would begin.

knottymomma · June 2015

I think it is perfectly acceptable! Even though this isn't your first baby, you still should be able to celebrate baby's arrival with friends and family! I'm pregnant with baby number 2 and we are doing another shower. I did include on the invitations gifts are appreciated though not expected, we would rather have time with family and friends. Instead of asking for diapers, we are doing the diaper raffle. I believe my hubby is having a Huggs and Chuggs party after baby comes with his friends. The guys will come over for a BBQ and they each bring beer of choice and a pack of diapers. It's easier for them instead of buying gifts.

tate62610 · June 2015

J1D said:

Well @jenspeake , you see, the first slap is just to get your attention to make sure you are really "listening" when the second slap is delivered. It's a valid strategy. I support it.

@jenspeake I hope you're listening real good now!

jenspeake · June 2015

@tate62610 Luckily I'm not the one who got slapped. If so I would have been all like....

komorebi · June 2015

I'm so tacky. This is my 4th and despite clearly stating it was not at all something i need, there are two in the works. One is my friends from my last job and the other is my mil. They think i need one because it's my first boy. And i have neutral carseats,strollers, playpen, etc. So there *sticks out tongue*.

I will not register for anything spendy because i have all my big stuff. I'm not even sure if I'll register because nobody listens and my friends are getting me a wrap i posted about on Facebook. One of them keeps spilling the beans, obviously, cause it's supposed to be a surprise and i hate surprises. I'll poke out any side eyes coming my way. And i definitely feel blessed to be so spoiled cause we really didn't have this baby financial planned.

@BrooklynBroussard is my favorite oct 15 mom to disagree with, ftr ♡

mom4liak · June 2015

I am pregnant with my fifth. This is our 2nd daughter my other DD is almost 12. My youngest LO is almost 9. We have nothing as we were extremely surprised to even find out I am pregnant. Both family and friends have asked about a shower, as in "you are having one,right??? And I better be invited". So I decided not to fight it and if someone wants to throw me a shower for this LO, who am I to decline....lol It may also be worth noting that no one on either side of the family has had a baby since our youngest was born 8 years ago. It has been 16 years since we have had a baby shower on either side of the family so maybe that makes a difference. I say if family/friends want to throw you one then have at it. If someone is appalled that you are having another shower they most likely just won't attend!

komorebi · June 2015

Huggs and chuggs? Sip n see. Puke and side eye. I can't with the rhymey/cutesy stuff. I just can't. I won't. I refuse.

tate62610 · June 2015

Just come over and see my baby....

casserole27 · June 2015

In my area it is not uncommon for the first time a family has a baby of a different sex than they already have to have another shower. Since the purpose of gifts at the shower is to help jumpstart things for the baby and they may only have gender specific items.

twogirlsandagreen · June 2015

I'm expecting a little boy after two girls also. I am not having a shower (turned down a few kind offers from hosts). I just can't because I had a shower with my oldest and a sip n see with my second (it was a surprise for me though). Just would not feel right to have another shower. My idea to celebrate him is to have a onesie decorating party where I buy all of the supplies and my friends/family help me decorate them

Boonhilde · June 2015

If you have a registry people who want to will be able to buy you stuff, but a shower isn't ideal after the first.

hspangler12 · June 2015

I think every baby should be celebrated so why not have multiple showers! If someone is willing to host For you then go for it. Have you heard of a sprinkle? I think that's a cute way of having a "shower" after your first child.

erinboehme · June 2015

I suppose some are looking at showers differently than any shower I've ever been to. I have only ever been to showers in people's homes or church. They are never big or elaborate. My friend just had baby #8 and was thrown a shower. No one I know had registered for showers either. Then again, I live in Small Town, Alaska and there isn't anywhere to register.

christina4436 · June 2015

Yes if you are asking for it. If someone on their own willy nilly plans a 'sprinkle' then go with it. But I saw this the other day on FB, someone having a bbq saying bring diapers for opp to win a prize.... Tackky!!! Nothing like asking someone to pay for the diapers for the child you decided to have.

MamaOwl15 · June 2015

The general consensus on TB is that showers beyond your first baby are tacky. That being said, j think it depends on what's commonly done in your social circle. If that's what everybody does, they'll forget to call the Etiquette Police and report your extreme tackiness.

When my son was born, my MIL threw me a little shower (really more of a sprinkle), but we got only a couple big items because we'd bought most everything else. This time, if she wants to get the family together and use that occasion to present us with the baby afghans she already has in the works and whatever baby girl clothes she's bound to have picked up (first girl grandchild, she's excited), I won't say no.

My old workplace did a shower for every staff who had a baby, first or not. No one complained, we had fun. But it was just what everyone did.

I think if someone's dying to throw you a shower, that's fine. Some people like doing stuff like that. However, I'm with those that go for smaller stuff rather than any big ticket items. In figuring if you have a baby who's less than say, 5, you probably have some baby gear lying around, and if you don't, you probably know how to use Craigslist.

For the record, I never heard of the "welcoming to motherhood" thing till o joined TB. I just figured most people didn't have multiple showers (unless they had a sprinkle), because they got all their gear with baby #1 and didn't need much afterward. Just sayin'.

komorebi · June 2015

My first baby shower was 6 years before my second baby was born and the first baby for SO so i didn't even think twice.

momma=z · June 2015

My friend recently went to a babyshower for a second baby but they called it a Baby Sprinkle. Not sure what else they did differently but apparently there is such a thing. I'll bet Pinterest has ideas!

felicia&rene · June 2015

Okay so here's my input... My mother threw me a baby shower for my first daughter, then when I met my husband we were expecting another little girl so friends of his family wanted to give us one since it was his first. Then the 3rd and the 4th girl came along. So I pretty much had everything you could think of for a girl, right. Well now with this pregnancy ITS A BOY! (Yay for us, right!) well my mother wants to throw us one for the boy. (Believe me we have nothing for him) and then my mil wants to too! But I really don't feel like having a shower, lol I hate being the host! But like the attention! (Who doesn't!, just too much work for me) anyways I'm thinking of just telling my hubby to start saving money for our son and buy our own stuff...

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