November 2015 Moms

UO Natural Birth - Annoyed by semantics

It's a petty thing, but I feel it's kind of a big deal.  Let me preface it by saying I hate the mommy wars and dear god do they start early.  Even before birth there is the by the book vs. the easy going crowd, the breast is best vs the fearless formula feeders, the cloth vs disposable diaper mommy arguments.  My take on things is we all do the best we can do with the resources at our disposal and our children will probably be completely unaffected by most of these hotly debated issues.  The issue I find to be the most annoying is the "natural" vs medicated vs c-section debate. 

All births are natural births.  Unless you're pulling a Melisandre from GoT and giving birth to some kind of unholy demon smoke baby, you're having a natural birth.  There is no more reason to be proud of an unmedicated birth than there is of a medicated birth or a c-section.  The whole point of pregnancy and the birthing process (however you choose to go about it) is a healthy baby.  If you managed that CONGRATULATIONS! 

/deep breath and end rant. 
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Re: UO Natural Birth - Annoyed by semantics

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  • I can't talk about melisandre after last night!! Also... Agreed :)
    I haven't watched past episode 5 or 6 so I'm a little behind.  After noticing things like this on multiple threads I'm going to have to watch.  If she managed to get someone to kill that little girl though I'm going to cry.  
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  • @VexyMommy I truly enjoy your posts. Thank you for keeping it real.
  • I just realised that GoT = Game of Thrones. Seen it loads in posts and just couldn't figure it out.

    I hang my head in shame.
  • People say "natural" a lot when they mean "vaginal". That annoys me too. You can just say the word. Don't fear it. Vagina Vagina Vagina it's easy.
    It's similar to people saying "gender" instead of "sex". It's because they don't want to say the word sex. *gasp* we can watch it on our tvs every day, but don't say it!

    Unless someone pulled some Virgin Mary stuff, we've all had sex and guess what is used during sex... the vagina! How else did we all get pregnant?!

    And yes, thank you! No matter what birth method we choose or is chosen for us, the big thing is we have a beautiful and healthy baby! And no matter what other choices we make, we all have our child's best interest in mind.
  • gerblah said:
    Dude, didn't you hear that if you say Vagina three times out loud, one will appear.
    There are huge numbers of young men and some ladies who would be amazingly happy if this was true.  lol. 
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  • urby87urby87 member
    People say "natural" a lot when they mean "vaginal". That annoys me too. You can just say the word. Don't fear it. Vagina Vagina Vagina it's easy. It's similar to people saying "gender" instead of "sex". It's because they don't want to say the word sex. *gasp* we can watch it on our tvs every day, but don't say it!
    I think usually people mean unmedicated when they use the word natural re: childbirth.  But VexyMommy definitely has a great point here, in that all births are great, and nobody should be trying to shame anybody else for their personal preferences and choices.
  • VexyMommy said:



    I can't talk about melisandre after last night!!
    Also... Agreed :)

    I haven't watched past episode 5 or 6 so I'm a little behind.  After noticing things like this on multiple threads I'm going to have to watch.  If she managed to get someone to kill that little girl though I'm going to cry.  


    Ahhh! I'm 2 episodes behind too! Stanis won't let her get to his daughter will he?! Gah!
  • People say "natural" a lot when they mean "vaginal". That annoys me too. You can just say the word. Don't fear it. Vagina Vagina Vagina it's easy.
    It's similar to people saying "gender" instead of "sex". It's because they don't want to say the word sex. *gasp* we can watch it on our tvs every day, but don't say it!

    =)) =)) =)) =)) I read that and almost fell out of my chair at work I was laughing so hard lol
  • I agree that all moms do their best and should not be judged by their decisions. Everyone has a right to want to bring a child into this world. So no judgement here! But with that being said when people say natural birth they mean how "nature has intended"

    Don't get me wrong I don't fault anyone for what they prefer but at the same time c-sections, IVF, surrogacy etc are not natural. By all means it's beautiful and amazing how far modern science has come today and I'm happy for it but it doesn't mean I consider it natural.

    Nonetheless everyone has their individual opinions and individual stories.

    Nothing but healthy babies for all of us I hope :)
  • edited June 2015

    But with that being said when people say natural birth they mean how "nature has intended"

    Don't get me wrong I don't fault anyone for what they prefer but at the same time c-sections, IVF, surrogacy etc are not natural. By all means it's beautiful and amazing how far modern science has come today and I'm happy for it but it doesn't mean I consider it natural.


    No. When most people say natural birth they are referring to a vaginal birth with no medication. Not as "nature intended."
    So are you telling me that if a mother is trying to have a vaginal birth and her baby's heart beat drops and she needs an emergency c-section that they should both be left to die because "well, that's what nature intended".
    I'm not even going to acknowledge your comment about IVF and surrogacy because I like thebump and I have a feeling I will get banned if I say what's on my mind right now.
    So fucking insensitive.


  • I can't talk about melisandre after last night!!
    Also... Agreed :)

    Me too! Yall need to get caught up! Season is almost over and I'll be going through withdrawals!

    The mommy wars drive me nuts! If I don't baby wear or BF, it doesn't mean I hate my kid. I make choices for what's best for my family!
  • @brianna91chavez I think you need to maybe take time to reread my post.

    You are taking something I said and turning it into what you want to hear.

    I have a right to give my opinion and I'm sorry to say, but you have gone completely left field with it. I have explained to you want most people find to be a natural birth. No where did I offend others- I simply stated that they are mostly a part of modern medicine. There is nothing wrong with that and does not make people's story and more better or worse than someone else's.

    I'm trying to understand your response and where I stated there was anything wrong with a c-section.

    You know, before you are so quick to judge and get so angry and offensive, you would do well with maybe taking someone's words as they are and not what you want them to be...

    As I said, healthy babies for everyone :)
  • kmkrushi said:

    I can't talk about melisandre after last night!!
    Also... Agreed :)

    Me too! Yall need to get caught up! Season is almost over and I'll be going through withdrawals!

    The mommy wars drive me nuts! If I don't baby wear or BF, it doesn't mean I hate my kid. I make choices for what's best for my family!
    Serious- how are you all avoiding spoilers?! I got in trouble with the boyfriend for spoiling Joffrey's death last year and am trying to be more discreet :)
    Every year I am like- no more- I cannot watch this show anymore- and then I am right back into it come the next season
  • edited June 2015
    I'm not angry sweet heart, I don't let Internet people make me angry. You said c-sections are not natural which is really just contributing to the mommy wars that this thread was about to begin with by saying c-sections aren't natural, and then you made an insensitive comment about IVF and surrogacy not being natural .... Continuing to contribute to the mommy wars. While I'm not turning what you said into what I want to hear, I did read it a TAD bit wrong but it's still contributing to the exact thing this thread was trying to get rid of.....
    Have a nice day!
  • kmkrushi said:

    I can't talk about melisandre after last night!!
    Also... Agreed :)

    Me too! Yall need to get caught up! Season is almost over and I'll be going through withdrawals!

    The mommy wars drive me nuts! If I don't baby wear or BF, it doesn't mean I hate my kid. I make choices for what's best for my family!
    Serious- how are you all avoiding spoilers?! I got in trouble with the boyfriend for spoiling Joffrey's death last year and am trying to be more discreet :)
    Every year I am like- no more- I cannot watch this show anymore- and then I am right back into it come the next season
    DH read the books so he watched me during the Red Wedding instead of the show!
  • elbouelbou member
    edited June 2015
    This is somewhat of a pet peeve of mine as well, however, if you're going to use semantics, you need to get the definitions right. (Semantics itself is the study of the meanings of words and phrases in language as well as the meanings of words and phrases in a particular context.) According to 2 popular dictionary definitions, all of the above methods of bringing a baby into the world are considered a birth, but they are not all considered natural. For reference: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/natural https://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/natural https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/birth https://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/birth https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/natural childbirth https://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/natural-childbirth?q=natural+childbirth I agree with every other point you made VexyMommy. It shouldn't matter how we parent/feed/diaper/whatever else moms get judged for as long as we are doing our best to keep our kids alive, healthy, and loved. I think there is a range of natural which goes from completely un-medicated and intervention-free vaginal birth through a vaginal birth with pain meds/interventions and ends just before C-sections. A C-section may be a medical necessity or it may be desired out of convenience, but it is never "existing in nature and not made or caused by people : coming from nature". That doesn't mean that a mother has failed, or that it is something she should be judged for. It just simply does not fit the definition of "natural" or "natural childbirth". Again, I agree with the point you are trying to make, but semantics is not on your side in this particular case. ETA: a sentence I had forgotten.


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  • kmkrushi said:

    I can't talk about melisandre after last night!!
    Also... Agreed :)

    Me too! Yall need to get caught up! Season is almost over and I'll be going through withdrawals!

    The mommy wars drive me nuts! If I don't baby wear or BF, it doesn't mean I hate my kid. I make choices for what's best for my family!
    Serious- how are you all avoiding spoilers?! I got in trouble with the boyfriend for spoiling Joffrey's death last year and am trying to be more discreet :)
    Every year I am like- no more- I cannot watch this show anymore- and then I am right back into it come the next season
    Every time I see GoT, I don't look until after I have caught up! Ha ha so far no spoilers for the last two episodes. I did get spoilers for the Red Wedding though (same day my husband and I planned to watch it too, argh). Sorry for hijacking the thread with GoT.
  • jscasher said:



    But with that being said when people say natural birth they mean how "nature has intended"

    Don't get me wrong I don't fault anyone for what they prefer but at the same time c-sections, IVF, surrogacy etc are not natural. By all means it's beautiful and amazing how far modern science has come today and I'm happy for it but it doesn't mean I consider it natural.


    No. When most people say natural birth they are referring to a vaginal birth with no medication. Not as "nature intended."
    So are you telling me that if a mother is trying to have a vaginal birth and her baby's heart beat drops and she needs an emergency c-section that they should both be left to die because "well, that's what nature intended".
    I'm not even going to acknowledge your comment about IVF and surrogacy because I like thebump and I have a feeling I will get banned if I say what's on my mind right now.
    So fucking insensitive.



    Wow, you went kinda psycho there for a second. You feeling ok? Come back to Earth!

    Totally fine. It just struck a nerve with the nature intended part bc I have seen quite a few things lately about how c-section moms aren't as worthy so to say as vaginal delivery moms and its that kind of thinking that makes people seem to think that's true.
  • Okay if you are not angry @brianna91chavez

    You know I promote peace not war :). I dont believe i said anything offensive regarding IVF/surrogacy. But if someone has taken it this way it was not intended.

    Just because we have different opinions doesn't mean we have to fight! Perspective is what allows you to learn new things about ourselves and others!

    For example, I'm def someone who wants to go in with a natural birth. Mostly because I want to challenge myself. That is not to say that I will all right refuse to take care of myself and my baby. That is just absurd...And if I end up wanting the epi for whatever reason I will def take it... Have you decided what you'll do?

    Thanks! It's actually night time where I live already, in bed (I live in the future lol.. Well just Europe...) :)
  • jscasher said:



    But with that being said when people say natural birth they mean how "nature has intended"

    Don't get me wrong I don't fault anyone for what they prefer but at the same time c-sections, IVF, surrogacy etc are not natural. By all means it's beautiful and amazing how far modern science has come today and I'm happy for it but it doesn't mean I consider it natural.


    No. When most people say natural birth they are referring to a vaginal birth with no medication. Not as "nature intended."
    So are you telling me that if a mother is trying to have a vaginal birth and her baby's heart beat drops and she needs an emergency c-section that they should both be left to die because "well, that's what nature intended".
    I'm not even going to acknowledge your comment about IVF and surrogacy because I like thebump and I have a feeling I will get banned if I say what's on my mind right now.
    So fucking insensitive.



    Wow, you went kinda psycho there for a second. You feeling ok? Come back to Earth!

    Agreed. I appreciate the fire and passion you have here, but you probably should have read a little closer. She called the modern science responsible for IVF ect, beautiful and amazing. Her only argument was you couldn't use the word "natural" for it.

    The problem is the connotation with the word "natural". It's just a buzzword that makes people a little crazy.

    Personally I'd rather have modern medicine actively involved with my birth than going "all natural".
  • mmk29mmk29 member
    kmkrushi said:

    jscasher said:



    But with that being said when people say natural birth they mean how "nature has intended"

    Don't get me wrong I don't fault anyone for what they prefer but at the same time c-sections, IVF, surrogacy etc are not natural. By all means it's beautiful and amazing how far modern science has come today and I'm happy for it but it doesn't mean I consider it natural.


    No. When most people say natural birth they are referring to a vaginal birth with no medication. Not as "nature intended."
    So are you telling me that if a mother is trying to have a vaginal birth and her baby's heart beat drops and she needs an emergency c-section that they should both be left to die because "well, that's what nature intended".
    I'm not even going to acknowledge your comment about IVF and surrogacy because I like thebump and I have a feeling I will get banned if I say what's on my mind right now.
    So fucking insensitive.



    Wow, you went kinda psycho there for a second. You feeling ok? Come back to Earth!
    Agreed. I appreciate the fire and passion you have here, but you probably should have read a little closer. She called the modern science responsible for IVF ect, beautiful and amazing. Her only argument was you couldn't use the word "natural" for it.

    The problem is the connotation with the word "natural". It's just a buzzword that makes people a little crazy.

    Personally I'd rather have modern medicine actively involved with my birth than going "all natural".

    Completely agree. I love the "women have been doing this for thousands of years" comments. Yes and they have been dying while doing it as well. Mortality rate during delivery is way down thanks to modern medicine. I'm not saying I'm against med free vaginal, I'm against the idea that it's always the best way.
  • gerblah said:

    Maybe a Snickers would help?

    I am a little hangry ;) and have to go grocery shopping on top of that.
    And you're right @kmkrushi , it kind of is the connotation with the word natural. The link that @Squirtgun posted is one of the things I've read that kind of trigger me with the word natural I guess. And @parisiennemom I am planning on a vaginal birth with a low dose epidural because that is what worked for me last time :) I'm sorry if you felt I had any anger towards you or your opinions. I know it's hard to determine tone and such from text.
  • @kmkrushi

    Yes exactly for this word "natural" and its connotation. I completely understand why though.

    People feel that by calling one side "natural" may mean it's counterpart is "unnatural" in a negative sense which Of course really didn't mean at all.

    I 100% agree with the modern science bit too also I will def be in a clinic surrounded by professionals, electricity, and MEDS if need be. Not in the woods with my male and a stick lol
  • @brianna91chavez no worries here! I completely get it! It happens to all of us.

    Oh your second time around- best of luck and success for you :)
  • mmk29 said:


    Completely agree. I love the "women have been doing this for thousands of years" comments. Yes and they have been dying while doing it as well. Mortality rate during delivery is way down thanks to modern medicine. I'm not saying I'm against med free vaginal, I'm against the idea that it's always the best way.


    @mmk29
    Agreed!
  • DrMommaDVMDrMommaDVM member
    edited June 2015
    urby87 said:



    People say "natural" a lot when they mean "vaginal". That annoys me too. You can just say the word. Don't fear it. Vagina Vagina Vagina it's easy.
    It's similar to people saying "gender" instead of "sex". It's because they don't want to say the word sex. *gasp* we can watch it on our tvs every day, but don't say it!


    Quote box fail! Urby said this:
    I think usually people mean unmedicated when they use the word natural re: childbirth.  But VexyMommy definitely has a great point here, in that all births are great, and nobody should be trying to shame anybody else for their personal preferences and choices.


    And I say this:
    Yes people say "natural childbirth" to refer to unmedicated. But many people also use it to refer to vaginal delivery. I can't even count how many times I've been asked "did you have c-section or natural birth?" (because my babies were big). So yeah people are dumb and don't like to say Vagina. See how I just worked Vagina into my text again?
  • @brianna91chavez sorry if the link I posted triggered something for you! The whole point of the article is that it's silly to try to be competitive with birth experiences: birth is normally hard no matter how it happens, and we all end up parents, why is it such a big deal how it happens?
  • edited June 2015
    Squirtgun said:

    @brianna91chavez sorry if the link I posted triggered something for you! The whole point of the article is that it's silly to try to be competitive with birth experiences: birth is normally hard no matter how it happens, and we all end up parents, why is it such a big deal how it happens?

    No no I worded that wrong, I actually loved that article when I read it because it is directed towards the women that say the "natural" shit and have the pointless competitions and mommy wars. That's what triggers my fiery opinions.
  • Squirtgun said:
    This is why you read medically based articles and not mommy blogs written by teachers if you want to keep your sanity. This is only fuel to the awful fire that can frustrate just about anyone. Don't waste your time!

    To be honest, with my first baby I was pretty sure people who would undergo med-free birth had to be out of their mind. But after researching further I found a lot of information that states how med free births support baby in the first days of life. There are lots of reasons why it is good for baby to go through a vaginal delivery without the meds in their system. That being said, if it is not a possibility for whatever reason it's also critical that you have an open mind to do what's best for you and baby. And at that point it may mean meds/c-sec.

    I think this is all about moderation and open mindedness. The more frustrated we get because we assume we are being judged the more fuel we add to the fire. If there's one thing I've learned in the first years of motherhood is that I can't care what everyone else thinks, you really have to educate yourself and trust your gut.
  • Squirtgun said:
    This is why you read medically based articles and not mommy blogs written by teachers if you want to keep your sanity. This is only fuel to the awful fire that can frustrate just about anyone. Don't waste your time!

    To be honest, with my first baby I was pretty sure people who would undergo med-free birth had to be out of their mind. But after researching further I found a lot of information that states how med free births support baby in the first days of life. There are lots of reasons why it is good for baby to go through a vaginal delivery without the meds in their system. That being said, if it is not a possibility for whatever reason it's also critical that you have an open mind to do what's best for you and baby. And at that point it may mean meds/c-sec.

    I think this is all about moderation and open mindedness. The more frustrated we get because we assume we are being judged the more fuel we add to the fire. If there's one thing I've learned in the first years of motherhood is that I can't care what everyone else thinks, you really have to educate yourself and trust your gut.
    Ummmmm you should read the article instead of just reading the title.
  • I love scarymommy. Anyway, I'm just going to throw this out there. Any method of having a child is absolutely badass - there's no better word for it. If you carry the child (with or without medical assistance as well as regardless of how you got said child out of you),you grew a human inside of you. A complete human being. Think about that. If you had to have a surrogate mother or adopt, you wanted to raise a child to the extent that you decided to put countless hours of research and a ridiculous amount of money into getting yourself a child to add to your family. That's an amazing amount of love either way. Just my two cents.

    I think I love you!
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