Wow ladies I'm sorry for some of your MIL's. Mines not as much mean as she is over obsessive and like to put me through a guilt trip anytime I'm around her. This is her first grandchild so she's driving me crazy she's a total health nut and always is nagging me about diet and exercise, she always loves to remind me she ran 4 miles a day up until a month before she delivered with both of her pregnancies and more power to her I'd love to have the energy to workout but between school and work I have to fight myself to shower most days and I'm only supposed to be doing light exercises since I had a miscarriage this January I've told her this countless times but the guilt trip never ends. And the constant lecturing about how much weight I've gain jeez my doctor said I've just reached a weight that's healthy for a woman my size who isn't almost 4 months pregnant I'm 5'8" and bounced between 120-125 I guess gaining 10 pounds is a crime in her eyes! And she thinks she's gonna take a month off to "show me the ropes" -_- even though me and my boyfriend have made it clear we want atleast a week alone with our little one, I'm glad he agrees with me it makes me feel a little less crazy these days! Ugh sorry ladies I know it's nothing compared to some of your stories but I feels good to vent good luck to all of you ☺️
And I thought my MIL was bad because when we told her I was pregnant the first thing out of her mouth was "was it planned?" Mind you we are married with a house and stable jobs!
Better than my dads which was "are you f*****g serious!? Is this a joke!?" And my husband and I are both in stable jobs, our own house, and a good amount of savings put away!
Anyway sorry if I changed topic! My MIL was happy when we told her but now I can't tell if she is. She is always so rude towards me now and always says "we can talk when you have my grand baby." She used to call me almost every week... I don't get it.. Smh
I think MIL who have no daughters are especially ackward and obsessive. Like mine!
My MIL has two sons, and she's great. I actually feel a bit left out that I have nothing to contribute to this thread...
Mine has 2 sons too. She's mostly great. She's a little clueless and from a very small town so she gets nervous in the big city coming to visit us. But she would drop everything to help us and adores our daughter. She's very excited for this one too.
My MIL has 2 sons and falls in the crazy category. After I had DD she kept telling me that she wanted to do for me what her mom did for her and her sister when they had their kids. I kept telling her, "thanks but I have my mom helping and I don't want a lot of help so I'll let you know what I need." Regardless, she kept saying the same thing over and over again and showing up at my house unannounced. She was obsessed with "helping" me. Sort of seemed like she was obsessed with having a daughter and being the mother of the woman who had a child.
I felt like she was totally intruding on my space and on my mother's rights to care for me. Obviously I am not as comfortable with my MIL as I am with my own mom! I told my MIL that I needed space and that I was more comfortable with my mom because she's my mom. And that the help I needed from her would likely be different from what her mother provided for her being that she was my mil and I was a different person. Well.... Apparently this was very hurtful for me to say. What?!
I had to keep creating boundaries: don't let yourself into my house without knocking/calling, please call before coming by, please give us time to be alone as a family on the evenings and weekends, etc. then came the "I could die at any moment. I need to bond with the baby." All in desperate tones of voice. How about F' off because you drive me f'ing crazy. I cannot even handle it half the time.
My MIL is very thoughtful and I do feel very lucky to have her over some of these horror stories! But I do have a question and hope someone can give me advice...
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
My MIL is very thoughtful and I do feel very lucky to have her over some of these horror stories! But I do have a question and hope someone can give me advice...
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
While I fully support flu vaccines and have gotten one every year since I can remember, there are many people who don't get them. Whether or not that makes a difference in people being around your child is a personal decision, but I think it will be difficult to ensure that everyone around my baby has had a flu shot. I plan to be the annoying new mom who makes everyone use hand sanitizer or wash their hands.
Me: 28, DH: 40 Married 9/28/13 DS born 11/12/15 EDD 8/13/18
My MIL is very thoughtful and I do feel very lucky to have her over some of these horror stories! But I do have a question and hope someone can give me advice...
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
I would be concerned. I guess I would see how the season plays out. If it's a bad one and there are a lot of cases in your area, you can check online too see, I would tell her she has to wait til spring to hold the baby. She can hand wash and wear a mask but some flu seasons are really bad and I'm not sure I would trust that.
My MIL is very thoughtful and I do feel very lucky to have her over some of these horror stories! But I do have a question and hope someone can give me advice...
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
I would be concerned. I guess I would see how the season plays out. If it's a bad one and there are a lot of cases in your area, you can check online too see, I would tell her she has to wait til spring to hold the baby. She can hand wash and wear a mask but some flu seasons are really bad and I'm not sure I would trust that.
I can't even imagine having a conversation with my MIL where I tell her she was to way until spring to hold the baby. Although I'd secretly love this, it seems ridiculous,
My MIL is very thoughtful and I do feel very lucky to have her over some of these horror stories! But I do have a question and hope someone can give me advice...
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
I would be concerned. I guess I would see how the season plays out. If it's a bad one and there are a lot of cases in your area, you can check online too see, I would tell her she has to wait til spring to hold the baby. She can hand wash and wear a mask but some flu seasons are really bad and I'm not sure I would trust that.
I can't even imagine having a conversation with my MIL where I tell her she was to way until spring to hold the baby. Although I'd secretly love this, it seems ridiculous,
Yeah it would be a rough conversation but there have been some rough flu seasons in the past few years. I'm willing to tell everyone to stay away if they aren't vaccinated. And I'm not one who is usually concerned with germs.
I hit the flu 2 years ago, despite being vaccinated and was so sick. Luckily my daughter didn't get it. But I was BFing and the tamiflu made her throw up.
My MIL is very thoughtful and I do feel very lucky to have her over some of these horror stories! But I do have a question and hope someone can give me advice...
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
I would be concerned. I guess I would see how the season plays out. If it's a bad one and there are a lot of cases in your area, you can check online too see, I would tell her she has to wait til spring to hold the baby. She can hand wash and wear a mask but some flu seasons are really bad and I'm not sure I would trust that.
I can't even imagine having a conversation with my MIL where I tell her she was to way until spring to hold the baby. Although I'd secretly love this, it seems ridiculous,
Yeah it would be a rough conversation but there have been some rough flu seasons in the past few years. I'm willing to tell everyone to stay away if they aren't vaccinated. And I'm not one who is usually concerned with germs.
I hit the flu 2 years ago, despite being vaccinated and was so sick. Luckily my daughter didn't get it. But I was BFing and the tamiflu made her throw up.
Ugh, tough times I bet. I wouldn't want to relive that either.
My MIL is very thoughtful and I do feel very lucky to have her over some of these horror stories! But I do have a question and hope someone can give me advice...
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
I've never gotten a flu shot and rarely get sick. Last years flu shot was what did they say 30% effective? One year I counted about 12 people I personally knew that got the flu shot and still got the flu. So her getting the flu shot is no guarantee she won't get sick. I would just tell her to practice good hand washing and if she's feeling sick to not come over. I will be trying to avoid going out around people a lot with the baby is born with it being cold and sick season. I'm more worried about church. Last year I think everybody in our church got sick around the same time and passed it all around. We'll probably be home bound for the first few months.
@ceridwen77 I have never gotten the flu shot and haven't had the flu since I was a child - hoping that continues! I plan on sticking to the good old hand sanitizer/washing hands first for everyone rule!
Welcome to my world! My fiancé and I were originally planning on getting married this year before I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to get married being nearly 7 months pregnant so my fiancé and I talked about postponing the wedding until next summer when the baby would be a little older and I would have a chance to lose some baby weight and feel comfortable about wearing a tight fitting dress. Well my soon to be MIL called to say that we need to do the right thing and get married this year before the baby comes. My fiancé has two older kids that know we are planning on getting married but don't know about me being pregnant yet because we were waiting until we found out the sex. My future MIL wants us to get married ASAP without a ceremony or anything just to be able to tell his kids we are married before we announce that we are pregnant. I feel that we are jipping ourselves of what is supposed to be an amazing event because of her worries about his older kids. Even if we got married today they will still be able to figure out I was pregnant because the baby is due in Nov. My MIL to be suggested we lie and tell them the baby is due in late December and that the baby came early when I give birth in Nov to a full term baby. I don't know how to feel about this. It's nice to know I'm not alone.
My MIL is very thoughtful and I do feel very lucky to have her over some of these horror stories! But I do have a question and hope someone can give me advice...
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
From working in the ER. Flu shots are based off what they think will be the strain that year. There are actually many different kind so while you are protected against one or two you can still get the others. As long as she doesn't come over while feeling ill and prarices good hygiene everything should be fine. Also check with your doctor on what they think.
My MIL isn't happy about the baby at all and is trying to keep us from moving into a larger house. We rent from her right now. BF kowtows to whatever she wants. It's fairly miserable, but my baby my terms. While her support would be appreciated, it's not necessary and I'm not going to do things her way to achieve it.
She thinks she's had it terribly hard and knows my situation and can give me financial advice (in addition to every other kind) because she was also a single mother. She forgets she had a $40,000 (in the 80's) settlement in her divorce and about 10yrs later received $500,000 from her father. She has since had a rich relative die off about once a decade and leave her substantial sums of money. I received nothing but debts in my divorce and have supported myself, my child, her son, and her grandchild. I survive off of my own hard work, not the backs of the dead.
My MIL is very controlling and manipulative. My SIL lets her control her life and it frustrates her to no end that she can't do the same to us… she decorated SIL's apartment and tries to do it at our house but obviously I don't let that happen. When we moved into our new home with an actual guest room and bath she put their bathroom stuff and towels in the bath and then left some of their stuff in the guest room. I boxed it all up and redecorated so she got the point that they weren't moving in but DH said I was being petty! They got the point without some sort of huge intervention so at least it worked!!
But of course I knew that anything with the baby would be the same way! First she sneaks upstairs to look at the baby room on the pretense that she doesn't like our half bath downstairs. This is when I was about 10 weeks pregnant so obviously we hadn't done anything. When she comes down she immediately says, "Oh so I guess you're not getting a crib?" I was so confused until I realized the co sleeper someone gave us had been thrown in there! Then she starts interrogating me about the nursery and why we wouldn't get a changing table (I have my really nice childhood dressers that we will use). It shouldn't matter to her because it's our nursery! Plus I was furious that she'd get into this when we specifically told her in my prior pregnancy that ended in miscarriage at 14 weeks that we would not purchase anything until 20 weeks. DH always says she understands because she had a miscarriage, but she definitely never understood the precautions I took during this pregnancy and the constant fear I had. So at exactly 14 weeks in this pregnancy DH gets a text saying she found a car seat for us. It was a convertible car seat which we already have and I don't want or feel safe using for an infant. He tells her we already decided what we want and sent her the info on the Britax travel system. She immediately sends back that she will check the safety info and recall info for us. I was insulted that she thought we wouldn't check into that. DH says there is a 50/50 chance that she will get what we want. For any holiday she says, "What do you want?" DH tells her and she buys him what she thinks is "better".
Also, she has never considered me part of his life or their family. We have lived together for 6 years and every place we lived she treated it like his home and I was just a visitor. She would never talk to me and often won't even look at me! It's got a little better since we're married. But for the wedding when we were downgrading to a not as nice place to save money they said they would cover the extra $3000 to get the nicer place. In the end they just never gave it to us and would ignore DH when he asked, so now we have a lot of credit card debt we weren't planning on to start out our marriage! They also never gave any kind of wedding gift, didn't attend my bridal shower, and still never give me gifts for birthdays or holidays. This wouldn't bother me except my SIL has a friend (met after DH and I started dating) that they treat like their surrogate daughter. She even went so far as to say, when out to dinner with us shortly after my birthday, "Oh, so and so's birthday is coming up! We'll have to get her a really nice gift!" They also get her gifts for Christmas and even Easter. My mom said she would be surprised if they do anything for the baby and I said, "Oh no, they'll spend a fortune because the baby is part of DH, whereas I'm nobody." At this point I just feel like a surrogate. It's so frustrating!!!!!
She also did the, "The heartbeat is too low, it's actually a boy" thing because a nurse 25 years ago told her how that's how it works. Nope, definitely all girl!!!!! My Dr. is bad because I don't have my own private receptionist I can call 24/7 like she did… 25 years ago. She is constantly referencing her births, like "Why are they doing all this testing? You only had one miscarriage! MY dr never did all this to me." Or talking about how sonograms aren't reliable. I'm like, so do you think the medical field in it's entirety has stood still for a quarter of a century? Or just obstetrics??? AHHH I get so tired of her know it all stuff!!!!!!!
Re: Resurrecting the MIL vent thread: Because I have to.
Anyway sorry if I changed topic! My MIL was happy when we told her but now I can't tell if she is. She is always so rude towards me now and always says "we can talk when you have my grand baby." She used to call me almost every week... I don't get it.. Smh
Mine has 2 sons too. She's mostly great. She's a little clueless and from a very small town so she gets nervous in the big city coming to visit us. But she would drop everything to help us and adores our daughter. She's very excited for this one too.
I felt like she was totally intruding on my space and on my mother's rights to care for me. Obviously I am not as comfortable with my MIL as I am with my own mom! I told my MIL that I needed space and that I was more comfortable with my mom because she's my mom. And that the help I needed from her would likely be different from what her mother provided for her being that she was my mil and I was a different person. Well.... Apparently this was very hurtful for me to say. What?!
I had to keep creating boundaries: don't let yourself into my house without knocking/calling, please call before coming by, please give us time to be alone as a family on the evenings and weekends, etc. then came the "I could die at any moment. I need to bond with the baby." All in desperate tones of voice. How about F' off because you drive me f'ing crazy. I cannot even handle it half the time.
My MIL is more of a "homeopathic" vs doctor person. She doesn't get the science of things and will do herbs and other stuff over seeing a doctor if she's sick. She also refuses to get the flu vaccine (not sure about others). Since she's not getting a flu shot would it be risky for me to let her around our baby? As you know our kids are being born in November, the start of the height of the flu season. Advice would be appreciated. I obviously want her around but don't want to put my baby in jeopardy.
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
I guess I would see how the season plays out. If it's a bad one and there are a lot of cases in your area, you can check online too see, I would tell her she has to wait til spring to hold the baby.
She can hand wash and wear a mask but some flu seasons are really bad and I'm not sure I would trust that.
Yeah it would be a rough conversation but there have been some rough flu seasons in the past few years. I'm willing to tell everyone to stay away if they aren't vaccinated. And I'm not one who is usually concerned with germs.
I hit the flu 2 years ago, despite being vaccinated and was so sick. Luckily my daughter didn't get it. But I was BFing and the tamiflu made her throw up.
She thinks she's had it terribly hard and knows my situation and can give me financial advice (in addition to every other kind) because she was also a single mother. She forgets she had a $40,000 (in the 80's) settlement in her divorce and about 10yrs later received $500,000 from her father. She has since had a rich relative die off about once a decade and leave her substantial sums of money. I received nothing but debts in my divorce and have supported myself, my child, her son, and her grandchild. I survive off of my own hard work, not the backs of the dead.