Baby Showers
Frogger5
member
Options
Baby party
Frogger5
member
in Baby Showers
We're planning on our baby coming any day now (FTM), and we live across the country from both sets of parents. Our plan was for our moms and some immediate family to come out to meet and help with the baby right away (not all at the same time), and then later this summer to take the baby to each of our hometowns for a meet the baby party (I didn't go back for showers or anything; this would be the only baby-related party). My mom is hosting in my hometown. She's rented a pavilion on the beach and will get some simple catering of some kind. The invitations will say something like "come and meet baby Last Name" and have the info.
Here's my problem. My MIL also offered to host a party for us/the baby at her house (different state), and we set the date and everything. I was hoping it would be very similar in style to what my mom is planning. Yesterday she sent out a draft of the invitation, and the baby wasn't even mentioned! It said "invitation to Last Name family gathering," and then it listed his parents' names and all of his siblings' names along with their children in descending birth order. She didn't even put "Baby Last Name" along with DH's and my names, she just put the two of us. So WTF? It's not a baby party after all, it's just a Minnesota summer garage party! She also didn't ask him/us if there were any friends that we wanted invited, which there are (just a few, it is mostly family).
DH says he doesn't care what it's called because the baby will still be there and people will still get to meet him. I feel pretty blindsided. I do want it to be explicitly about meeting my baby! I don't think that is unreasonable, especially since that's what his mom agreed to do. I wouldn't have agreed to go to his hometown with a two month old after just having seen his parents a month prior unless we were doing this.
What say you all? Am I being a brat and AW, or is she being weird? I don't want to push it with DH if it is just me, but he will stand up for us to his mom if I ask him to. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding? Should I just let it go?
Here's my problem. My MIL also offered to host a party for us/the baby at her house (different state), and we set the date and everything. I was hoping it would be very similar in style to what my mom is planning. Yesterday she sent out a draft of the invitation, and the baby wasn't even mentioned! It said "invitation to Last Name family gathering," and then it listed his parents' names and all of his siblings' names along with their children in descending birth order. She didn't even put "Baby Last Name" along with DH's and my names, she just put the two of us. So WTF? It's not a baby party after all, it's just a Minnesota summer garage party! She also didn't ask him/us if there were any friends that we wanted invited, which there are (just a few, it is mostly family).
DH says he doesn't care what it's called because the baby will still be there and people will still get to meet him. I feel pretty blindsided. I do want it to be explicitly about meeting my baby! I don't think that is unreasonable, especially since that's what his mom agreed to do. I wouldn't have agreed to go to his hometown with a two month old after just having seen his parents a month prior unless we were doing this.
What say you all? Am I being a brat and AW, or is she being weird? I don't want to push it with DH if it is just me, but he will stand up for us to his mom if I ask him to. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding? Should I just let it go?
Re: Baby party
These parties will still be basically the same thing. People will come, they'll ooh and ahh over the baby and then they'll hang out, talk to other people, etc. NEITHER party will actually be ALL ABOUT your baby. Really, even your mom's party won't be.
What do you really think is going to be oh-so-different because one invitation mentioned your baby's name where as the other one didn't?
Now, as far as inviting some friends, I see nothing wrong w/ DH asking her if you all can include a few friends who you'd like to see while you're in town.
Maybe "blindsided" is a little dramatic, but the sentiment stands. Imagine your friend saying she'll throw you a birthday party, and she ends up inviting people to her house for a cocktail party. You wouldn't feel out of sorts about it?
Obviously I want people to agree with me but if I'm wrong I hope I can admit it!
ETA tag @VOR
This is going to happen whether the invitation is "explicitly" about the baby or not.
Which, in all honesty, makes me think you want it to be about YOUR child because you want people to bring gifts. That's probably the one difference that I see coming out of the wording.
I always thought this board supported sip and sees, as a way to have a celebration of a baby without the expectation of gifts, but now it seems like actually any event that is centered around the baby is just selfish and tacky? What am I missing?
What exactly are you expecting to be different about the party if it's announced as FOR your baby? I'm asking genuinely. What do you think will be different? What do you want to be different?
What exactly are you expecting to be different about the party if it's announced as FOR your baby? I'm asking genuinely. What do you think will be different? What do you want to be different?
Well, there might be a big cake, for one! I don't know, I guess the more I think about it it doesn't really matter. I guess I feel slighted or something, or like she doesn't think it's a big deal. It's our first kid and there hasn't been much fuss about it from DH's side. We didn't have a shower, sex reveal, whatever else people come up with these days. We aren't having a christening, or a bris, or a naming ceremony. This would be the only event that has anything to do with the baby for this group of people. So I don't understand why she's now turning it into just a random family get together with my BIL, SIL, and their kids listed on the invitations and not my f-ing baby!!
I guess I really just wanted to vent. I'll have DH bring up that we thought it was going to be a baby party, and if MIL has some excuse, I'll let it drop. I'll be quietly stewing the whole day, probably, or maybe I'll be so exhausted by then that I won't GAF anymore.
Edit attempt: Quote fail but I can't fix it
If this is a precursor of things to come, I will just say that the sooner you accept that this is how your ILs are and the less you expect from them, the happier you will be.
Damn. I don't GIF for a month and I forget how.
Oh well, I have to get some work done now!
You're probably right. I'm dying with anticipation of what DH will say that she said. I almost certainly made a big deal about nothing - can I blame my hormones and anxiety about the impending birth?