We scheduled our LO's baptism already due to my pastors limited availability. It's coming up in October. Trying to make some plans and figure out a lunch venue and food ect.. my MIL made it pretty clear that her family invites aunts, uncles, cousins, 1st cousins to events like this. Due to both our very large extended families, if we did this, we would be inviting just about 100 people to our baptism. This 100 is literally aunts, uncles, cousins and their kids! This is nuts!!!! It would cost us over $1200 for a baptism luncheon plus I'd be out on maternity leave and on 1 income! I don't want to be the only one in the family to break the "rules" and just invite our "small" list of 40 people (our parents, siblings, grandparents and aunts & uncles)...but i also don't want to have an obnoxious 100 person guest list for a baptism. Advice?!...
Re: baptism
Alternatively we have been to two baptisms were we paid for our lunch at a local hotel. The hosts had a large party room and the cake and coffee covered. It was fine.
My question still remains, do you risk pissing off family and invite only those immediate 40 or do I just cave in and invite the 100 per my MILs "request"? Trust me that we're doing this the cheapest way possible at my church's dining/banquet facility (100 ppl) with food catered in... or at my parents home (40 ppl)
This is our first child I want a nice baptism and a proper celebration, it's his/her first very special "public" day and I feel that it should be celebrated properly, not cheaply. There's a difference in inviting 100 people and spending 1,000 and inviting 40 people and spending much less, or inviting 100 people and being tacky and cheap.
By my figuring you are thinking 12$ a head- maybe go for lighter food choices and reduce your cost a bit. If your church has a ladies auxiliary they maybe willing to make tea sandwiches ect for a smaller fee.
If it was me I would suck it up and invite everyone, and make it clear the need to RSVP for lunch not just show up.
But if that really isn't an option I would invite the 40 people. Tell MIL as much as it was a very hard decision inviting the other 60 is just not an option because of your budget.