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Spanking?

csy2947csy2947 member
in October 2015 Moms
Hey ladies,

I learned today how controversial spanking is apparently.

In my house it happened rarely and only for very serious infractions (usually doing something particularly dangerous). I always thought of it as a sign that we'd really crossed some terrible line but on this other local message board I've been reading people are likening it to child abuse.

Figured in anticipation of unpopular opinion Thursday that i'd throw it this potentially testy topic and ask if you all plan on spanking or not spanking (or what you do if you're a STM) and if you do, what would warrant it?
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  • beckles112beckles112 member
    We plan on spanking. I was probably spanked way more than my brother and sister combined because I was a very defiant child. I may be in for a very bumpy ride!
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  • csy2947csy2947 member
    Kristyhana said:

    If spanking worked for us I would have done it. There was a point idk 2-4ish age that my daughter was just unpunishable. It was so frustrating. I spanked her one day and she turned around and told me she liked it and started laughing. That was the moment I knew I was in for it with her. I would tell her that I would take her (insert favorite item at the time) and she'd ask for how long and then decide if what she was about to do was worth it. She was always too smart for her own good. Drove me absolutely crazy.

    Omg that is hilarious hahaha. I'm sure not at the time but she sounds like a firecracker!

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  • double2roubledouble2rouble member
    We do not spank our dd and will not.  In my experience when i feel the urge to spank her its more b/c I am upset, and I don't want to teach her to use violence when she is upset.  She already mimics everything I do. I imagine this would be the same.  I already feel bad enough that I sometimes have to hold her down putting her into the car seat (using all my body weight).  We do a lot of times in and talk with her about what she does wrong.  I'm pretty crunchy though.  

      
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  • LaurenNKLaurenNK member
    We intend to use it similarly, as punishment for things that are particularly dangerous or shocking.

    Growing up, I can remember being spanked a couple of times only, slapped once (15, told my Mom to shut the F up, so yeah...).  
    What really worked was "cold curb treatment".  If we were in public, and sis or I were misbehaving, one of our parents would march us outside to sit on a curb or sidewalk in the parking lot.  Embarrassing cuz everyone entering the establishment could see we'd been naughty, uncomfortable cold, hard seat.

    We don't have a set style in mind or anything, I guess we're mostly going to wing it.  We've discussed it enough just to know that we're both on board for very infrequent spankings, and likely not in public since you never know what kind of nosy freakshow is going to call the cops on you for punishing your own child.
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  • VioletandRoseVioletandRose member
    If something warranted a spank or a slap on the hand, sure. It might kill me, but sometimes it's the only thing that works. For me, spanking is minor compared to the way my mom would beat us when we were kids, all the way up through high school. My dad was very meek and mild and never laid a hand on us, but my mom smacked the crap out of us if we looked at her funny, to say the least, but I still wouldn't necessarily consider it "abuse." In those days it was common, most of my friends parents did the same. However, I would never do that to my child. I hear pinching is the new thing... Sounds barbaric to me, I'd rather give my kid a slap on the behind!
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  • bgriestbgriest member
    We plan on spanking as well. Both my fiance and I grew up in homes where we were spanked when deserved. Basically for doing something dangerous or after repeatedly being told not to do something and ignoring our parents and doing it anyways again and again and again. We both agree that we found it an effective way of learning to respect our parents and listen to them.

    Funny thing is, I used to beg my mom to spank me with her metal spoon instead of my dad spanking me with his hand. My mom started using the metal spoon when my brother and I would laugh when she spanked us. Spoon still hurt but not as much as my dad's hand! Even then, I don't have too many memories of being spanked, I certainly was never spanked for little or silly reasons and I don't intend to ever do such a thing with my kids. My parents usually used alternative methods i.e. going to our room and not being allowed to play with our toys, standing in the corner of the room for 30 minutes, going to bed early, loss of television privileges, being grounded from going outside to play with our friends, having our coaches bench us from soccer games, etc. 

    I also don't think I'll spank before the age of 2 or 3. I want our child to understand WHY. I know even at like a year and a half kids understand a whole lot more than we give them credit for. I see it all the time with my nephew. He understands very well what he's being told he just thinks he's funny and likes to test the boundaries.
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  • DeeGreerDeeGreer member
    I'm going to spank my child but only for severe things. I got hit a handful of times and more often than not, having my door taken off, no phone calls no tv and dinner alone in my room fixed the bad behavior. I was pretty defiant also and I dared my mom to hit me and laughed when she did when I was about 6. I'll save it for extreme situations but growing up if I messed up, I knew it was coming! Each child is different but even as bad as I was, it worked best when I was explained what I did wrong, WHY it was wrong and my punishment for the bad behavior.
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  • JaqiDec04JaqiDec04 member
    I was spanked as a child, DH was beaten (bruises, fists, welts, until he was in high school, and then they were just fist fights with his drunken father)... We have discussed at length the difference and our comfort levels with spanking DD.

    We do spank DD. Its rare. Occasionally, I'll give her a quick swat on the butt, doesn't hurt, if I need her to pay attention and she's not listening. Occasionally, she gets real spankings, they probably hurt, always with our hands, never when we are upset. We take other methods if we are upset or frustrated. Its always a last resort. The older she gets, the less we will spank. We always sit her down after she's calmed down, explained why she was in trouble, why she was spanked, etc. Usually the threat of a spanking is enough for her to behave and listen.

    As for pinching....there is absolutely no way I would pinch my child. I don't know why it feels different to me, but I could not pinch my child. My guess is people do it because its a easier to get away with in public.
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  • loveleighmamiloveleighmami member
    I think it is important that if you do decide to spank, that it is when you are not angry and explain why it is happening. There are circumstances that spanking would be acceptable to me, but under no conditions when the parent is angry.
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  • furelise93furelise93 member
    I got spanked when I was little, and it was only when I did something really bad. My parents always took the time to explain to us why they were doing it, and they never did it when they were angry. My parents would always wait until they weren't angry anymore before they spanked us, so it was never done out of anger, and it was never violent. I couldn't imagine getting spanked hard enough to leave welts and bruises! That's not spanking. That's straight up beating and I will NEVER EVER do that to my child.

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  • jenn2132jenn2132 member
    I have two rambunctious boys and we do spank in our home when the situation really calls for it but honestly threatening punishment usually is enough to get our point across so spanking doesn't happen too often. My parents spanked us growing up but I my brother got the majority of spankings I think I can only recall being spanked maybe once as a kid.
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  • LiveNLove44LiveNLove44 member
    I was spanked once as a child, and I remember it, so it clearly had an impact. What don't I remember? I don't remember why I was spanked. I do remember how remorseful my dad was after he did it. I also know that I was only grounded once, and it was because I had left the house and not told my parents where I was going when I was in early middle/late elementary school. That made sense to me. 

    We won't spank our daughter, even if she does something that is particularly dangerous. I understand the notion behind it, but I also believe that it still sends conflicting messages. I don't want to tell my daughter not to hit, but then give her the message that it's okay for me to hit (even if it's just a swat on the rear). Some people mentioned that they wait until they have calmed down to spank, and while I think that sounds like a better idea in terms of not encouraging children to act out physically when angry, I also wonder if it has the same impact when the punishment for an action is delayed. Our daycare is an in-home care, and she spanks her own children in front of the daycare children. I know my daughter sees it, and I have seen it (part of the reason we've withdrawn). It bothers me that she will grab them and give them a solid spank for hitting another child. It just feels really backwards to me. I wonder how preschool and kindergarten will be able to control their behavior if the kids are used to spankings to signal they've done something wrong. It worries me that they'll have to recalibrate what they understand to be "wrong" if an adult is verbally correcting their behavior rather than spanking them (because they can't). I know it isn't always the case that parents who spank, spank often, but it seems like there's a line that makes it more effective than not.

    I certainly respect everyone's parenting decisions and from the sounds of it, many people here who plan to spank did not have negative experiences growing up and seem to be just fine. I just know that it does not align with DH's and my philosophy of parenting.
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  • CarmofrapCarmofrap member
    I was spanked as a child and grew up with the mentality, "I turned out just fine", So that said I tried spanking my son and found it only made him act more aggressively. That and I don't have the heart to do more than a swat which didn't even make him blink. Instead I've turned to gentler methods of guiding him instead. It might be more repetition required than would with a good solid spanking but he didn't respond well to spankings and I've since decided I don't want my child to turn out "just fine" I want him to turn out even better than I wish I had. :)  I don't think it is child abuse of the parameters are clearly set, parents don't spank when they are angry and the child is old enough to understand that doing x = a spanking. But I don't think it's the best method of disciplining either. It certainly didn't stop me from doing things as a kid. I just got better at hiding whatever I was doing. A lot of studies have shown that spanking isn't the best form of discipline.
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  • MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    StaceyRamiro said:

    I think it is important that if you do decide to spank, that it is when you are not angry and explain why it is happening. There are circumstances that spanking would be acceptable to me, but under no conditions when the parent is angry.


    THIS. ^


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  • dchiapelladchiapella member
    I think it really depends on the child and it depends on the parent. If the child is one that will not understand properly the reasoning behind it then no, it's probably not the greatest. If the parent doesn't have self control or is doing it out of anger or frustration, also not the greatest. I really appreciated what @furelise93 had to say on the matter-- that's more where I stand as well. I think the main thing is just consequences and holding firm onto them. I see so many people threaten a consequence like taking away a toy, but when the child starts getting defiant and fussy over it they break down and end up rewarding them with something instead to make them hush down. To me, that's the greatest injustice you can do toward the child since they will never really learn that way. I'm a teacher and I'll have kids who shove and full on scream at the teachers (3 year olds, even!) and when I send them out of the room to their parents they'll send them right back in with no punishment only a very sweet "no, no, sweety!" and they do it over, and over, and over again... not good. So like I said, it's less about spanking vs. not spanking for me, it's about standing firm in our consequences, whatever they may be. And let the consequence fit the "crime." 
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  • wcm2bwcm2b member
    edited May 2015
    @LiveNLove44 wow you have made such a strong point! Generally even at 5 and 6 years old a child in my class who is making the wrong choice needs an immediate reaction or consequence in order for it to make sense to them or be useful. When I was in early childhood schooling, we were taught that unless the consequences are immediate, there is basically no point giving one for kids this little. That is at 5 and 6, let alone younger kids if you have to wait to "calm down" before you spank.

    I find that encouraging empathy works wonders. Ex "look at your friend you have made her cry. How does that make you feel?" Or expressing my own disappointment "you have made my heart so sad with your choice" is a real heavy hitter. Then a logical consequence of fixing whatever they broke, apologizing and doing something kind for whoever they hurt or cleaning up whatever mess it was. If they are out of control why not a time out? Not from the angle of "you were bad you need punishing" but more "you are not able to control your choices right now because you are too angry/upset an you need some time to calm down and do belly breathing (if old enough) and then try again" (this teaches a coping skill for when they feel those emotions later in life. An appropriate way to help yourself do better. I always use "choices" in what I say to encourage that we all make choices some right some wrong and it does not make us bad people. Sometimes we need to calm down before we can make the right choice and sometimes the wrong choices can hurt people. We also always talk about how to manage that emotion or solve that problem the right way next time. Lots of things work these are just my philosophies I have come to feel good about using after going to school to study behaviour management and working with little ones. I have warm loving and positive feelings when administering discipline like this. I know I personally would not have those feelings if I were spanking a child.

    My honest curious question for parents who choose spanking: what if your child is one who makes the wrong choice of hitting someone? How do you reinforce that this is not okay when you have done a similar gesture towards them? Not trying to start anything I'm actually genuinely interested in hearing people's philosophies. I get that parents who spank do not see it as hitting but I would argue that a child does not have the ability to understand the difference and separate the two.
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  • J1DJ1D member
    @wcm2b Good question! I don't know the answer but I have asked a similar question before. Like when a toddler hits an infant sibling- how do you spank them while telling them I'm spanking you because it's not ok to hit? Seems like mixed messages in that instance for sure!

    For me, as I've stated, if my little kid runs out into the street I will spank him. If my little kid paints on the walls with pudding and uses my brand new silk blouse to wipe it up, I'll try to explain why that was wrong and then try to do a better job of supervising my child and putting my nice expensive things away because babies don't know silk is expensive, how could they? So for me and my way of doing things it's easy to decide what to do in those types of circumstances. But others, like when one kid hits another, I really don't know the best way to deal. When I babysit, I'll grab their hands and separate them so they can't hurt each other and use my stern "NO" voice. I have a pretty impressive stern "no" voice that I only use when I really mean it and it gets their attention 99% of the time. (But you have to save that voice for the really serious stuff, like a secret weapon, cause if you use it all the time it losses it's effectiveness.)
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  • elmann1elmann1 member
    edited May 2015
    I was spanked and it did nothing for me but made me resent my dad for a while. Sometimes aunts or uncles would spank me. If someone other than me touches my child, I would go bonkers.

    I dont think we're going to spank our kids. I just don't think I'm capable of it. I understand kids get unbearable sometimes, but I don't think spanking does much. It didn't do anything for me honestly, nothing at all. It just made me hold grudges against my family who hit me. 
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  • gabrielafrnqyepezgabrielafrnqyepez member
    I feel there's a diff between spanking smacking and hitting, spanking is a closed hand kinda more for sound effects thing, smacking is a open hand with skin contact and then hitting is just what it says with blunt force of any kind. With that being said I spank my son for severe things only he's 7 and only 2 times have I had to spank him the first was one time he stole a toy from his friend and denied it and said that dh and I were liars. A. No stealing nope nope nope and yes a week long punishment would have been enough B. He verbally disrespected dh and I and that's a big no no so he got a spankin and punishment. The second time he got spanked also he was already in school was because he disrespected his uncle and too him to mind his own business because he's not any one important, I belee in respect and in not allowing kids to speak to adults in any derogatory way! So I think we are spankers and I must say I'm the one that's spanked him dh has never layed a hand on him. There are big differences I hate to see kids get abused because there are individuals that do take it too far.





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  • J1DJ1D member
    edited May 2015
    gabrielafrnqyepez said:

    I feel there's a diff between spanking smacking and hitting, spanking is a closed hand kinda more for sound effects thing, smacking is a open hand with skin contact and then hitting is just what it says with blunt force of any kind. With that being said I spank my son for severe things only he's 7 and only 2 times have I had to spank him the first was one time he stole a toy from his friend and denied it and said that dh and I were liars. A. No stealing nope nope nope and yes a week long punishment would have been enough B. He verbally disrespected dh and I and that's a big no no so he got a spankin and punishment. The second time he got spanked also he was already in school was because he disrespected his uncle and too him to mind his own business because he's not any one important, I belee in respect and in not allowing kids to speak to adults in any derogatory way! So I think we are spankers and I must say I'm the one that's spanked him dh has never layed a hand on him. There are big differences I hate to see kids get abused because there are individuals that do take it too far.


    Closed hand or fingers together? I've always understood closed hand to mean a fist, so that reads to me as hitting with a fist which to me means punching, so I'm kinda freaking out! But if you mean cupped palm with fingers held together to get more of a popping sound than actual forceful contact, then I'm not gonna panic. Cause yes, I get when you are trying to more make a noise to startle.
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  • TacoSarahTacoSarah member
    Kristyhana said:
    If spanking worked for us I would have done it. There was a point idk 2-4ish age that my daughter was just unpunishable. It was so frustrating. I spanked her one day and she turned around and told me she liked it and started laughing. That was the moment I knew I was in for it with her. I would tell her that I would take her (insert favorite item at the time) and she'd ask for how long and then decide if what she was about to do was worth it. She was always too smart for her own good. Drove me absolutely crazy.

    Mum, is that you?

    This is exactly what I did to my mum. I was naughty, she spanked me, I looked her dead in the eyes and said 'that didn't hurt' and she thought !£$^"$^*"£$%"£^&! So she started taking away my toys, apparently that worked pretty well.

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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    My son listens very well for the most part thanks to spanking. He's more so afraid of the thought of it then the actual spank. Most times I just have to count 3, 2 and everything is fixed. Putting him in the corner works well too. But if he's being absolutely uncontrollable I'm not afraid to smack his bum. My parents gave us quite a few smacks and all of us are fine (: ! My friend had a little girl who if she smacked her, she would laugh and tell her to smack her again. It was crazy, you couldn't tame her when she was 3-5 !!
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  • BlueWaffleSpeshulBlueWaffleSpeshul member
    Kristyhana said:
    If spanking worked for us I would have done it. There was a point idk 2-4ish age that my daughter was just unpunishable. It was so frustrating. I spanked her one day and she turned around and told me she liked it and started laughing. That was the moment I knew I was in for it with her. I would tell her that I would take her (insert favorite item at the time) and she'd ask for how long and then decide if what she was about to do was worth it. She was always too smart for her own good. Drove me absolutely crazy.
    *lurking*

    This is making me laugh because my almost 10 month old giggles any time I say no or stop. Visions of my future with him are not promising in the punishment department! ;)
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  • jefinley1jefinley1 member
    edited May 2015
    I don't have a moral issue with spanking, but feel it is generally counter productive and an arcane remnant of another era where certain aspects of life were much more severe. Physical punishment would seem reasonable or effective in a time and lifestyle where disobeying your parents could get you or someone else killed, and where manual labor with a severe hierarchy trumped intellectual pursuits for the majority of people.The point wasn't to be introspective, it was to keep your kids alive. The goal was to traumatize. But I don't think there are very many aspects of modern life that would demand that physical harshness, and our society has evolved so that an emphasis on teaching kids to think independently about what they are doing from a young age is much more important to the big picture than simply teaching them what to do and not do out of fear. Just as a child who was "coddled" through lack of physical punishment would have been ill-equipped to function in the mass society of 60 plus years ago (which is why, I think, all of the "sensitive souls" and artists and great philosophers were generally from wealthy families; they could afford to be), a child who hasn't been taught to think more deeply about what is right or wrong through more introspective punishments would be ill equipped for modern society. The type of harshness of our society has changed, I think, and so that should be mirrored in the semi-artificial bubble world that is childhood. But that's how I see it. If people want to spank their kids cause that's what works for them, more power to them. Unless, as others have said, a physical response of anger comes into play, at which point I would find the parent's behavior to be morally reprehensible and I would question their emotional maturity and ability to effectively raise undamaged children.
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  • gabrielafrnqyepezgabrielafrnqyepez member
    J1D said:
    I feel there's a diff between spanking smacking and hitting, spanking is a closed hand kinda more for sound effects thing, smacking is a open hand with skin contact and then hitting is just what it says with blunt force of any kind. With that being said I spank my son for severe things only he's 7 and only 2 times have I had to spank him the first was one time he stole a toy from his friend and denied it and said that dh and I were liars. A. No stealing nope nope nope and yes a week long punishment would have been enough B. He verbally disrespected dh and I and that's a big no no so he got a spankin and punishment. The second time he got spanked also he was already in school was because he disrespected his uncle and too him to mind his own business because he's not any one important, I belee in respect and in not allowing kids to speak to adults in any derogatory way! So I think we are spankers and I must say I'm the one that's spanked him dh has never layed a hand on him. There are big differences I hate to see kids get abused because there are individuals that do take it too far.
    Closed hand or fingers together? I've always understood closed hand to mean a fist, so that reads to me as hitting with a fist which to me means punching, so I'm kinda freaking out! But if you mean cupped palm with fingers held together to get more of a popping sound than actual forceful contact, then I'm not gonna panic. Cause yes, I get when you are trying to more make a noise to startle.

    yes yes totally like cupped omg I would never ...more to make a sound than actually hit!





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  • jenboston22jenboston22 member
    edited May 2015
    We will not be spanking our child. There are plenty of non-violent ways to teach children respect, discipline, etc., and I strongly believe that physical punishment is wrong. We will teach our child to respect other people and to respect animals, and it seems very contradictory to me to then turn around and hit him or her as punishment for misdeeds. We will try other methods of "punishment," although I plan to do some research into it first (I did my BA in psychology, but I can't remember the specifics right now on what is considered better ways to teach children to behave).
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  • J1DJ1D member
    gabrielafrnqyepez said:


    J1D said:

    gabrielafrnqyepez said:

    I feel there's a diff between spanking smacking and hitting, spanking is a closed hand kinda more for sound effects thing, smacking is a open hand with skin contact and then hitting is just what it says with blunt force of any kind. With that being said I spank my son for severe things only he's 7 and only 2 times have I had to spank him the first was one time he stole a toy from his friend and denied it and said that dh and I were liars. A. No stealing nope nope nope and yes a week long punishment would have been enough B. He verbally disrespected dh and I and that's a big no no so he got a spankin and punishment. The second time he got spanked also he was already in school was because he disrespected his uncle and too him to mind his own business because he's not any one important, I belee in respect and in not allowing kids to speak to adults in any derogatory way! So I think we are spankers and I must say I'm the one that's spanked him dh has never layed a hand on him. There are big differences I hate to see kids get abused because there are individuals that do take it too far.


    Closed hand or fingers together? I've always understood closed hand to mean a fist, so that reads to me as hitting with a fist which to me means punching, so I'm kinda freaking out! But if you mean cupped palm with fingers held together to get more of a popping sound than actual forceful contact, then I'm not gonna panic. Cause yes, I get when you are trying to more make a noise to startle.


    yes yes totally like cupped omg I would never ...more to make a sound than actually hit!


    @gabrielafrnqyepez ok! That's what I'd hoped! Whew! :)
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  • Sweet Sadie MaeSweet Sadie Mae member
    My husband would kill me if I spanked my daughter. I don't see the point in it. Disciplining your child with a form of violence (even if it's a little smack) is only instilling fear. That is not a way for a child to grow up. That teaches them nothing. It irks me to see a child get hit for acting up. That's just what kids do. I see it often when I'm out shopping. Bleh
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  • MommyPhoenixMommyPhoenix member
    edited May 2015
    BrooklynBroussard said:
    My personal experience with spanking was very negative. It scarred me. Now whenever men get angry, I always think they are going to get physical with me. However, my father was EXTREME with his spanking. Welts and bruises for a week. My mother said I used to scream bloody murder when they tried to spank me. I just can't do it to my kid because of how it affected me. My brother didn't seem to be bothered by it. I have always worried that my child might find it confusing. I want to discourage violence, and want to make sure she knows punishment is never tied to anger. I do not judge those who spank their children.

    This is me as well. I never thought much of it as a child when my parents would spank us, I just thought this is something that all parents do. Now that I think back to those awful memories, I still get the chills and can remember the glazed-eyes of fury my mom would exhibit and how the spanking would escalate into full blown beatings, welts and bruises and all. The only lesson that I took away from the beatings was to not piss off my parents or I would get a beating, I didn't correlate the beating to anything I was doing bad (and when I say bad, it was more being defiant or doing something my parents didn't like, for example, not cleaning my room - it wasn't so much anything dangerous). My experience is totally my own, every circle is different and unique and I would never judge those that spank or decide to do so to their children. Simply, for me, I could never do it, it left me scarred with resentment and I vowed to never lay a hand on my children.

    When DD (2yo) does something dangerous or something she knows is not acceptable, I look her in the eyes and explain to her why it's not something she should be doing. For the most part, I can tell she knows and that Mama means "business". We always hug it out afterwards and I tell her I love her. This may not work forever but it works for us now and I'm hoping just a stern look from Mama will do the trick.

     

        

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  • jenn2132jenn2132 member
    @wcm2b
    That's a valid question and I don't know honestly if I have an answer on how it really is differentiated but I think it's about a balance of discipline and love. My brother received some major spankings as a kid and I on the other hand was rarely spanked but we both grew up in the same household with parents we knew loved us. It was always understood that consequences of our actions be it spankings or restrictions were not because our parents didn't love us but because they did. Even when I was angry at them for grounding me etc. I never questioned my parents love for me. And neither my siblings or I have ever been ones to resort to violence. With my children spanking is usually a rare punishment and only when the situation really calls for it. I do try different methods of punishment first and having older kids (12 & 7) there have definitely been learning experiences when it comes to discipline along the way. I've had major remorse after punishing my kids even when I have used other methods of punishment. My son was acting up in school one year and I took away trick or treating and it absolutely KILLED me to leave him behind while I went out with his brother but I had to stay firm. To me any punishment is hard to carry out because we love these kids, we never want to hurt even their feelings. I guess I've come to the point that spanking shouldn't be the first option when a kid has messed up but I cannot say I've never spanked my children or that I never will again but I will always try to do right by my children as their mom.
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  • tate62610tate62610 member
    I think spanking is effective for some. It was effective with my brother and me. It wasn't abusive and we didn't fear our parents. But it wasn't something that was done with every error either. Usually it was done when we made the conscious decision to disobey.

    Just make sure, if you are going to spank, they know why they're being spanked and they know you still love them.
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  • tate62610tate62610 member
    @jenn2132 way to stick to your guns! I've had friends cancel fun family outings because of misbehavior. It sucks but it gets the point across and lets them know you're serious.
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  • katanasaikatanasai member
    My 6 year old son has been through the gamut of punishments, nothing works. At this point we're simply sitting him on a chair in the hallway as a punishment, facing the wall. He's not allowed to talk or fidget, and is only allowed up to use the bathroom. After he's sat for a bit, I bring him to the living room and we sit and discuss what he's done that breaks the rules, and what he thinks he should do next time instead. 

    I'm really hoping it works. Putting things out of his reach doesn't work, as he has sorted out how to climb things like a mountain goat. Supervising him better doesn't work because he creeps out of bed ninja-like at night. We keep all medications in our room now, so he can't get to them without us hearing him! Child locks don't work, he's exceptionally talented at opening them.

    I said all that to say this: I think spanking has a place when disciplining children, but only if the child does not respond to other punishments, and does respond to spanking. Also, within strict guidelines- open hand, not excessively hard, not when angry, etc.

    Parenting is a messy business, and every parent and every child are different. I try hard not to judge others for their parenting styles! 
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