UO- if you are under 15 weeks I don't care if you are "showing" or "feeling movement".
My UO is that I love reading about everyones pregnancy and what they are experiencing to see if I can relate or help someone out.
Just a side note, I thought this was a forum for ALL November moms...idk why there's so much discrimation on these boards. Makes me sad a little.
I don't see how it's discriminatory to ask people not to ignore science...
Wait what?! Ignore science? Who said that? Showing early or feeling movement depends on who you are and how many kids you've had... I said I like to read about everyones pregnancy no matter how far along they are..some ppl are just excited and so am I. So idk why ppl on here have to discriminate on how many weeks someone is, as if their pregnancy is irrelevant to this forum..we're all November moms to be.
UO- if you are under 15 weeks I don't care if you are "showing" or "feeling movement".
My UO is that I love reading about everyones pregnancy and what they are experiencing to see if I can relate or help someone out.
Just a side note, I thought this was a forum for ALL November moms...idk why there's so much discrimation on these boards. Makes me sad a little.
I don't see how it's discriminatory to ask people not to ignore science...
Wait what?! Ignore science? Who said that? Showing early or feeling movement depends on who you are and how many kids you've had... I said I like to read about everyones pregnancy no matter how far along they are..some ppl are just excited and so am I. So idk why ppl on here have to discriminate on how many weeks someone is, as if their pregnancy is irrelevant to this forum..we're all November moms to be.
Nobody is saying anybody shouldn't be excited, but scientifically speaking, you aren't going to be showing if your uterus is still behind your pubic bone and you aren't going to feel a fetus that's the size of a grape.
UO- if you are under 15 weeks I don't care if you are "showing" or "feeling movement".
My UO is that I love reading about everyones pregnancy and what they are experiencing to see if I can relate or help someone out.
Just a side note, I thought this was a forum for ALL November moms...idk why there's so much discrimation on these boards. Makes me sad a little.
I don't see how it's discriminatory to ask people not to ignore science...
Wait what?! Ignore science? Who said that? Showing early or feeling movement depends on who you are and how many kids you've had... I said I like to read about everyones pregnancy no matter how far along they are..some ppl are just excited and so am I. So idk why ppl on here have to discriminate on how many weeks someone is, as if their pregnancy is irrelevant to this forum..we're all November moms to be.
Nobody is saying anybody shouldn't be excited, but scientifically speaking, you aren't going to be showing if your uterus is still behind your pubic bone and you aren't going to feel a fetus that's the size of a grape.
The baby is the size of a grape at like 8 weeks..but sure I get what your saying. The thing is that I know for a fact I was showing at about 12 weeks and no one can tell me I wasn't. Some ppl on here wanna act like they see me on the daily. My whole point of quoting the first girl I quoted was because she said if you're under 15 weeks she doesn't wanna hear about how you're showing or feeling anything. I just think ppl on here have too much of an opinion on other ppls pregnancies. This is getting off topic so im gonna leave this board and go do what my UO was in the beginning...read about some November babies! ALL OF THEM
UO- if you are under 15 weeks I don't care if you are "showing" or "feeling movement".
My UO is that I love reading about everyones pregnancy and what they are experiencing to see if I can relate or help someone out.
Just a side note, I thought this was a forum for ALL November moms...idk why there's so much discrimation on these boards. Makes me sad a little.
I don't see how it's discriminatory to ask people not to ignore science...
Wait what?! Ignore science? Who said that? Showing early or feeling movement depends on who you are and how many kids you've had... I said I like to read about everyones pregnancy no matter how far along they are..some ppl are just excited and so am I. So idk why ppl on here have to discriminate on how many weeks someone is, as if their pregnancy is irrelevant to this forum..we're all November moms to be.
Nobody is saying anybody shouldn't be excited, but scientifically speaking, you aren't going to be showing if your uterus is still behind your pubic bone and you aren't going to feel a fetus that's the size of a grape.
The baby is the size of a grape at like 8 weeks..but sure I get what your saying. The thing is that I know for a fact I was showing at about 12 weeks and no one can tell me I wasn't. Some ppl on here wanna act like they see me on the daily. My whole point of quoting the first girl I quoted was because she said if you're under 15 weeks she doesn't wanna hear about how you're showing or feeling anything. I just think ppl on here have too much of an opinion on other ppls pregnancies. This is getting off topic so im gonna leave this board and go do what my UO was in the beginning...read about some November babies! ALL OF THEM
It's possible to start showing at 12 weeks, as your uterus has moved above your pubic bone and your organs are shifting upward (it's not the baby, but it is pregnancy-related). And I was thinking a grape and a kumquat are about the same size, the latter of which is used as a 10w size comparison. Regardless, people on this board have claimed to be showing and feeling movements significantly earlier than is scientifically possible, and I don't think it's discriminatory to explain to them that they are bloated and feeling gas bubbles.
This is probably going to be so unpopular but I am not, well was not, a kid person at ALL. My grandmother on just my moms side alone, Has 19 Grandkids And 23 Great Grandkids. My dad's side is worse, I've never even attempted to count all my cousins on that side... and they all DRIVE ME BONKERS! I love them with my entire heart and soul but I can't handle them for more than a few hours. Idk if it's because we have so many in our family or what but I always swore I'd never have kids, and here I am! My mom keeps saying, it's different when you have your own. I obviously already love my child so much, I just hope I can handle being a mom!
I second this, loling at hearing someone else say it!!!! I have 5 kids...2-16 and this one on the way. Every time a 4 year old tries to tell me a story my eyes accidentally roll back into my head. I love my kids. But I am not a "kid" person! Up to 4 is awesome and over 10 they start to turn into conscious humans and it improves. Everything in between is painful to me. I totally feel like this is pretty unpopular, ha!!!
Also...is that ^^^^ butthurt?!!! (I am semi-ashamed to admit that I am not sure which ones are X_X
My UO is that I like being a working mom, but for strange reasons. When I was a stay at home mom I loved it and I miss my child terribly when I am gone all day long, but if I work my husband helps me around the house and cooks dinner (I don't know why I just don't really like doing the "house" stuff) and at my job I get instant gratification when I finish what I needed to get done that day or week and recognized or rewarded for performance, whereas when I was a mom only it is thankless and taken forgranted. This really is sooooo unpopular and some would argue selfish thinking and the thing is I beat myself up constantly for all the time I miss with my little girl bc I have this need to succeed and accomplish things bigger than discipline dinner and housework
My UO for the week - if the doctor tells you to do X if Y, when Y occurs don't post on a message board to ask a bunch of laymen who know nothing of your medical history what you should do. Listen to your doctors!
My UO is that I like being a working mom, but for strange reasons. When I was a stay at home mom I loved it and I miss my child terribly when I am gone all day long, but if I work my husband helps me around the house and cooks dinner (I don't know why I just don't really like doing the "house" stuff) and at my job I get instant gratification when I finish what I needed to get done that day or week and recognized or rewarded for performance, whereas when I was a mom only it is thankless and taken forgranted. This really is sooooo unpopular and some would argue selfish thinking and the thing is I beat myself up constantly for all the time I miss with my little girl bc I have this need to succeed and accomplish things bigger than discipline dinner and housework
I agree on liking being a working mom. I get satisfaction from my job. I was never a stay at home mom but at the end of my maturity leave with my first I was more then ready to go back.
My UO is that I like being a working mom, but for strange reasons. When I was a stay at home mom I loved it and I miss my child terribly when I am gone all day long, but if I work my husband helps me around the house and cooks dinner (I don't know why I just don't really like doing the "house" stuff) and at my job I get instant gratification when I finish what I needed to get done that day or week and recognized or rewarded for performance, whereas when I was a mom only it is thankless and taken forgranted. This really is sooooo unpopular and some would argue selfish thinking and the thing is I beat myself up constantly for all the time I miss with my little girl bc I have this need to succeed and accomplish things bigger than discipline dinner and housework
I don't see how this is horrible. I completely understand. I'm not a working mom yet, but I will be. I know it will be painful to leave my baby behind while I go to work, but at the same time, M-F 8-5 I will have "me" time. No cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, etc. I have a lot of respect for SAHMs, because they don't get a break, ever. Going to work full time is HARD, but it can't be as exhausting as I imagine staying at home is. Plus, I hope my successful career will one day inspire my child to work hard, just like my mom inspired me to.
Here's my UO. My DH and I don't want a single photo of our baby posted in social media. And we know this will be VERY difficult for our friends to understand. But Stranger danger is real.
Here's my UO. My DH and I don't want a single photo of our baby posted in social media. And we know this will be VERY difficult for our friends to understand. But Stranger danger is real.
Yes!! I completely agree with this! I haven't even announced on social media. It will be hard especially with excited family members, since this is our first. My UO, pretty similar, I don't feel the need to share photos or updates with people on FB/IG. Most don't care about others lives, it's all for show and I love sharing with my immediate family in person. I'm a Scrooge!
UO: I really, really dislike everyone else's kids. I tolerate my 8yo's friends, but only if I like the parents, and even then it's tough. My kids aren't angels for sure, but they know the rules and stick to them. I have a hard time dealing with some of the disrespectful brats that I have no power over. I want to host a kid boot camp and whip them all into shape, but there is insufficient time and energy, so I just pray that my girls don't learn bad habits from their peers. If they do, it's going to be the end of that friendship. #sorrynotsorry
My unpopular opinion: I really dislike the words preggers, preggo, hubs, hubby, bestie, and adorbs. And I don't like abbreviations like LOL, ROTFL, WTF. I find them really annoying.
On a lesser scale of evil I don't love forum abbreviations like DH and MIL but I can see how people might find them convenient.
My UPO: eat what you want! I'm so sick of seeing these (usually FTMS) girls complain because they are craving something unhealthy and say "I didn't give in" or someone tell them cravings are a sign of deficiency. Hello! Pregnant! Eat that crap because your metabolism isn't getting any faster as you get older!
I mean let's not gain 80lbs or develop diabetes, but indulge, girl, indulge because soon you will have a little person who won't allow you to eat in peace while begging for a piece then spitting it back bc they don't like it! Agh!
My 3 year old begged me for the last chocolate croissant today. I so badly wanted it but gave in. I found it 15 minutes later in the hamster cage because "elsa was hungry too, mama". EAT ALL THE FOODS WHILST THE KID CANT TALK
My unpopular opinion: I really dislike the words preggers, preggo, hubs, hubby, bestie, and adorbs. And I don't like abbreviations like LOL, ROTFL, WTF. I find them really annoying.
On a lesser scale of evil I don't love forum abbreviations like DH and MIL but I can see how people might find them convenient.
My unpopular opinion: I really dislike the words preggers, preggo, hubs, hubby, bestie, and adorbs. And I don't like abbreviations like LOL, ROTFL, WTF. I find them really annoying.
On a lesser scale of evil I don't love forum abbreviations like DH and MIL but I can see how people might find them convenient.
Yes especially to words like hubby and the like. Not so much the abbreviations for me though. Also, although I defiantly use it, I don't like the word boyfriend so much. I used that in high school for that caliber of seriousness in a relationship. Granted, I am not engaged or married, but to be honest I don't even know if that is something I would want (UO?). Yet, my man is no longer a 'boy' in the colloquial sense. I will usually say partner, but I think that confuses people. Lol. I don't get angry or anything if I'm called, just a random preference of mine.
My UPO: (Atleast with my family) My husband and I, and the medical staff, will be the only ones in the delivery room. When I had our son there were 4 other people in the room besides my husband. It was very distracting. When I relayed the news this time around there was lots of crying and accusing. Apparently if my mother cannot see my child being born her "life will be ruined".
My UPO: (Atleast with my family) My husband and I, and the medical staff, will be the only ones in the delivery room. When I had our son there were 4 other people in the room besides my husband. It was very distracting. When I relayed the news this time around there was lots of crying and accusing. Apparently if my mother cannot see my child being born her "life will be ruined".
I absolutely do not blame you. I ended up with a scheduled c last time, but refused to tell anyone the date and time because I didn't want them at the hospital. After DS was born we called people to tell them but asked them not to come right away. Twenty minutes later my in laws walked into my recovery area! I hated that they invaded that personal time so I can't imagine what them being in the room during birth would have been like. This time we won't call anyone until we're ready for visitors.
My UPO: (Atleast with my family) My husband and I, and the medical staff, will be the only ones in the delivery room. When I had our son there were 4 other people in the room besides my husband. It was very distracting. When I relayed the news this time around there was lots of crying and accusing. Apparently if my mother cannot see my child being born her "life will be ruined".
I absolutely do not blame you. I ended up with a scheduled c last time, but refused to tell anyone the date and time because I didn't want them at the hospital. After DS was born we called people to tell them but asked them not to come right away. Twenty minutes later my in laws walked into my recovery area! I hated that they invaded that personal time so I can't imagine what them being in the room during birth would have been like. This time we won't call anyone until we're ready for visitors.
I absolutely do not blame you. I ended up with a scheduled c last time, but refused to tell anyone the date and time because I didn't want them at the hospital. After DS was born we called people to tell them but asked them not to come right away. Twenty minutes later my in laws walked into my recovery area! I hated that they invaded that personal time so I can't imagine what them being in the room during birth would have been like. This time we won't call anyone until we're ready for visitors.
We might do this this time! I like the idea of calling afterwards. I do not want visitors while in the hospital. We had people visit us last time that I had not seen in years. I have no idea why they thought it was ok to come just because I had a baby??
I absolutely do not blame you. I ended up with a scheduled c last time, but refused to tell anyone the date and time because I didn't want them at the hospital. After DS was born we called people to tell them but asked them not to come right away. Twenty minutes later my in laws walked into my recovery area! I hated that they invaded that personal time so I can't imagine what them being in the room during birth would have been like. This time we won't call anyone until we're ready for visitors.
We might do this this time! I like the idea of calling afterwards. I do not want visitors while in the hospital. We had people visit us last time that I had not seen in years. I have no idea why they thought it was ok to come just because I had a baby??
I don't know how I'm going to pull it off but I don't want to tell anyone we've had the baby until we are like an hour away from leaving the hospital. My husbands entire damn family was in the recovery room 4 hours after I gave birth. I had a rough delivery and was attached to IVs, pitocin, and had a catheter. I was furious. They had no right to crowd us like that. So they lost the right to know what's happening until we're headed home this time.
My UO is i dont mind being spoiled /babied while pregnant. So many are not happy with this because pregnancy is not disability ( obv it isn't) but i'd much rather my hubby carry that bag kf groceries then me, or ask me to sit etc. i am only pregnant for 9 months, bring on the hovering and not letting me lift a finger )) i love it
@mmk29 THIS. This totally happened to me after I had my section with my son. 4 years later and I'm still angry about it haha. Luckily with my daughter 2 years later, my in laws were away on holiday (pretty sure that's why I went in to labour haha as I knew they were gone).
This time we've already agreed that my parents will be told as they'll have our kiddies but it's top secret until we are ready to share the news. I know it's their grandchild and they'll be the first people we call but I don't think it's selfish to want that alone time. And recovery time!
Plus (and this could be an UO) but I HATE letting other people hold my newborn for the first 12 hours. I think it should just be mummy and daddy (and maybe little siblings) time. This poor little baby has just been birthed in to a cold, loud world and just needs its parents. Not to be passed around to everyone who has arms. Back off- you can have a cuddle tomorrow. My mum understood this so well with both my babies and just cuddled me. MIL was not happy! I also didn't want people other than my husband to take photos in hospital... I wanted them to be our thing that only we had, something special to remember the big day. I don't want your flash going off in my newborns eyes or having to worry that I'm 100% covered up! Hospital time is private time in my opinion, be as strict as you feel you need to be!
Here's my UO. My DH and I don't want a single photo of our baby posted in social media. And we know this will be VERY difficult for our friends to understand. But Stranger danger is real.
When my first was born my SIL's friend posted a picture of my son on her FB claiming him as hers and told a guy that he was his and invited him to meet him. This guy is also the same person who when she was pregnant beat her to the point where she had a miscarriage. What if he kid napped my child!? Or hurt him!? Needless to say she was afraid to be friends with my SIL after I found out cuz I want batshit on both of them. And I still hate her.
Here's my UO. My DH and I don't want a single photo of our baby posted in social media. And we know this will be VERY difficult for our friends to understand. But Stranger danger is real.
When my first was born my SIL's friend posted a picture of my son on her FB claiming him as hers and told a guy that he was his and invited him to meet him. This guy is also the same person who when she was pregnant beat her to the point where she had a miscarriage. What if he kid napped my child!? Or hurt him!? Needless to say she was afraid to be friends with my SIL after I found out cuz I want batshit on both of them. And I still hate her.
Here's my UO. My DH and I don't want a single photo of our baby posted in social media. And we know this will be VERY difficult for our friends to understand. But Stranger danger is real.
When my first was born my SIL's friend posted a picture of my son on her FB claiming him as hers and told a guy that he was his and invited him to meet him. This guy is also the same person who when she was pregnant beat her to the point where she had a miscarriage. What if he kid napped my child!? Or hurt him!? Needless to say she was afraid to be friends with my SIL after I found out cuz I want batshit on both of them. And I still hate her.
I don't even know what to say to that. I'm shock anyone would have the guts to pull something like that.
My UO. I don't want any family or friends to come see the baby til it is two weeks old. Except my mom or MIL if I need them. My father is piss, cause he lives in California and I in Tennessee and says he has a right to come see the child and stay with us the day we come home. So he will not know when the child is born. I will not be sending pics out either. I sent my 10 week ultrasound out as an announcement to siblings and parents as a private thing. Not two mintutes later my dad sent a group text of our picture to everyone in the family. After I said this is private. I'm still mad.
My UPO: (Atleast with my family) My husband and I, and the medical staff, will be the only ones in the delivery room. When I had our son there were 4 other people in the room besides my husband. It was very distracting. When I relayed the news this time around there was lots of crying and accusing. Apparently if my mother cannot see my child being born her "life will be ruined".
We did not tell anyone I was in labor with my first and we did not tell them we were not going to tell them. I ended up needing a c section and we waited until I was feeling better the next day to call anyone. My mom did figure it out when I did not answer my phone, but she respected our space until we officially told her. I wish we could do the same this time but we need someone to watch DS and my parents are the logical choice.
My UPO: (Atleast with my family) My husband and I, and the medical staff, will be the only ones in the delivery room. When I had our son there were 4 other people in the room besides my husband. It was very distracting. When I relayed the news this time around there was lots of crying and accusing. Apparently if my mother cannot see my child being born her "life will be ruined".
We did not tell anyone I was in labor with my first and we did not tell them we were not going to tell them. I ended up needing a c section and we waited until I was feeling better the next day to call anyone. My mom did figure it out when I did not answer my phone, but she respected our space until we officially told her. I wish we could do the same this time but we need someone to watch DS and my parents are the logical choice.
We have that issue this time around too.
We told our families last time that we wouldn't be calling until the baby was born. My parents are 2 hours away and my ILs are 3 hours away.
I was induced due to high BP and a day and a half into the induction I was making great progress and looked like it would be a few hours and she would be born. So I had my husband call our families and tell them. We said they could go to our house and we would call when they could come to the hospital. 12 hours after we made the call I hadn't progressed past 7cm! A few hours later I ended up with a CS at 1:45am. We called them and said they could come to the hospital around 10am. I was so out of it from 2 days of labor and surgery. I handed hem the baby and asked to close the curtain so I could nap! They only stayed an hour becaus I was so out of it.
This time hopefully my mom will watch my DD and I will VBAC and not worry about being so out of it.
But I do not want anyone there until we are ready.
I really do not understand how grandparents think they are entitled to being there.
My UO: It's been raining in Colorado almost everyday for the past month and most everyone here hates it and has been complaining...but I secretly LOVE IT!!
Um...I guess I see all the parent posts differently? In the sense that this is your baby that you are so concerned about meeting....you are THEIR baby... Though I don't want people in the delivery room and have an overbearing mother that REFUSED to stay away for all of my children's births which still annoys me every time, she is my MOTHER, this is not the end of the world. No I didn't like it, I wish they would have just stayed home and come when I was ready, I really do...I had two preemies taken straight to nicu and a full term c section who just failed and ended up in nicu. That was devastating after finally going term and fully expecting to hold my baby at birth! a million people were in the hospital all day/night that didn't call first and I was so mad because I didn't even get the baby, couldn't grieve, couldn't take time to figure out what was happening...So telling the world about a scheduled c is a mistake that I will never make again! and, with my last, we only told a very few close people that we were in labor so we could have privacy from the masses and recover until The next day. So I DO relate and get the point with crowds of people and extended family and friends. But on the flip side, I can't ever imAgine cutting my parents out or forcing my husband to cut his out. my god I have 5 kids and someday, when they have babies, I hope and pray that I have raised them with enough compassion and love for family to never ever just "not tell me" they were having or already HAD a baby. The though of that breaks my heart and makes me so so sad. Nurses are very good room guards. If people show and don't respect wishes, they will keep them at bay and in the waiting room for as long as you need it!!!
My UPO: (Atleast with my family) My husband and I, and the medical staff, will be the only ones in the delivery room. When I had our son there were 4 other people in the room besides my husband. It was very distracting. When I relayed the news this time around there was lots of crying and accusing. Apparently if my mother cannot see my child being born her "life will be ruined".
We did not tell anyone I was in labor with my first and we did not tell them we were not going to tell them. I ended up needing a c section and we waited until I was feeling better the next day to call anyone. My mom did figure it out when I did not answer my phone, but she respected our space until we officially told her. I wish we could do the same this time but we need someone to watch DS and my parents are the logical choice.
We have that issue this time around too.
We told our families last time that we wouldn't be calling until the baby was born. My parents are 2 hours away and my ILs are 3 hours away.
I was induced due to high BP and a day and a half into the induction I was making great progress and looked like it would be a few hours and she would be born. So I had my husband call our families and tell them. We said they could go to our house and we would call when they could come to the hospital. 12 hours after we made the call I hadn't progressed past 7cm! A few hours later I ended up with a CS at 1:45am. We called them and said they could come to the hospital around 10am. I was so out of it from 2 days of labor and surgery. I handed hem the baby and asked to close the curtain so I could nap! They only stayed an hour becaus I was so out of it.
This time hopefully my mom will watch my DD and I will VBAC and not worry about being so out of it.
But I do not want anyone there until we are ready.
I really do not understand how grandparents think they are entitled to being there.
I don't think "grandparents" think they are entitled to be there so much as PARENTS want to be! These are PARENTS! They did this with you! They remember the moment you took your first breath and they simply want to witness you do that as well? YOU are their baby. Why don't people get that part of it. Imagine that little face in front of you cutting you out of the biggest loving moment of their lives. To your parents you are always going to be that teeny chubby face that they cried with exhaustion over. Just as yours is to you. Sometimes we need to look outside the box and from others' perspectives.
My UPO: (Atleast with my family) My husband and I, and the medical staff, will be the only ones in the delivery room. When I had our son there were 4 other people in the room besides my husband. It was very distracting. When I relayed the news this time around there was lots of crying and accusing. Apparently if my mother cannot see my child being born her "life will be ruined".
We did not tell anyone I was in labor with my first and we did not tell them we were not going to tell them. I ended up needing a c section and we waited until I was feeling better the next day to call anyone. My mom did figure it out when I did not answer my phone, but she respected our space until we officially told her. I wish we could do the same this time but we need someone to watch DS and my parents are the logical choice.
We have that issue this time around too.
We told our families last time that we wouldn't be calling until the baby was born. My parents are 2 hours away and my ILs are 3 hours away.
I was induced due to high BP and a day and a half into the induction I was making great progress and looked like it would be a few hours and she would be born. So I had my husband call our families and tell them. We said they could go to our house and we would call when they could come to the hospital. 12 hours after we made the call I hadn't progressed past 7cm! A few hours later I ended up with a CS at 1:45am. We called them and said they could come to the hospital around 10am. I was so out of it from 2 days of labor and surgery. I handed hem the baby and asked to close the curtain so I could nap! They only stayed an hour becaus I was so out of it.
This time hopefully my mom will watch my DD and I will VBAC and not worry about being so out of it.
But I do not want anyone there until we are ready.
I really do not understand how grandparents think they are entitled to being there.
I don't think "grandparents" think they are entitled to be there so much as PARENTS want to be! These are PARENTS! They did this with you! They remember the moment you took your first breath and they simply want to witness you do that as well? YOU are their baby. Why don't people get that part of it. Imagine that little face in front of you cutting you out of the biggest loving moment of their lives. To your parents you are always going to be that teeny chubby face that they cried with exhaustion over. Just as yours is to you. Sometimes we need to look outside the box and from others' perspectives.
They got there moment. This is ours. I asked my mom if she could ever imagine her mom in the delivery room with her and she said no way. Exactly! So why should she be there for my moment.
Birth is intimate. It should be shared with the mother and father. So many hormones need to work right for everything to go well and extra people you're not comfortable with can throw off that balance.
It is a total entitlement issue and it makes me angry when family members think they can interrupt something like that.
I guess we just have very very different values when it comes to family. And I don't think my mom ever felt entitled...I think she is blindly over the moon excited and proud which can cloud her sensibility. "They had their moment"? I'm her child. I'm her every moment until she dies... Man I hope my kids don't turn 18, decide that "I've had my 18 years" and then feel that way about me . If they do, I sure didn't raise them right. Also...I've had 5 kids, different ways. And babies come regardless of who is in the waiting room. Hormones have zero to do with it.
My UPO: (Atleast with my family) My husband and I, and the medical staff, will be the only ones in the delivery room. When I had our son there were 4 other people in the room besides my husband. It was very distracting. When I relayed the news this time around there was lots of crying and accusing. Apparently if my mother cannot see my child being born her "life will be ruined".
We did not tell anyone I was in labor with my first and we did not tell them we were not going to tell them. I ended up needing a c section and we waited until I was feeling better the next day to call anyone. My mom did figure it out when I did not answer my phone, but she respected our space until we officially told her. I wish we could do the same this time but we need someone to watch DS and my parents are the logical choice.
We have that issue this time around too.
We told our families last time that we wouldn't be calling until the baby was born. My parents are 2 hours away and my ILs are 3 hours away.
I was induced due to high BP and a day and a half into the induction I was making great progress and looked like it would be a few hours and she would be born. So I had my husband call our families and tell them. We said they could go to our house and we would call when they could come to the hospital. 12 hours after we made the call I hadn't progressed past 7cm! A few hours later I ended up with a CS at 1:45am. We called them and said they could come to the hospital around 10am. I was so out of it from 2 days of labor and surgery. I handed hem the baby and asked to close the curtain so I could nap! They only stayed an hour becaus I was so out of it.
This time hopefully my mom will watch my DD and I will VBAC and not worry about being so out of it.
But I do not want anyone there until we are ready.
I really do not understand how grandparents think they are entitled to being there.
I don't think "grandparents" think they are entitled to be there so much as PARENTS want to be! These are PARENTS! They did this with you! They remember the moment you took your first breath and they simply want to witness you do that as well? YOU are their baby. Why don't people get that part of it. Imagine that little face in front of you cutting you out of the biggest loving moment of their lives. To your parents you are always going to be that teeny chubby face that they cried with exhaustion over. Just as yours is to you. Sometimes we need to look outside the box and from others' perspectives.
They got there moment. This is ours. I asked my mom if she could ever imagine her mom in the delivery room with her and she said no way. Exactly! So why should she be there for my moment.
Birth is intimate. It should be shared with the mother and father. So many hormones need to work right for everything to go well and extra people you're not comfortable with can throw off that balance.
It is a total entitlement issue and it makes me angry when family members think they can interrupt something like that.
I agree, I dont want people around me and i want them to respect my wishes. While I can see how some people would want their mother there for the birth, I'm not one of them either. I love my mother very much and I'm still very close with her but our relationship has evolved over time. I think this is the case for most of us. During the birth of my daughter I also only wanted my husband with me. I lean on him and he is the only support I wanted with me. When we were rushed into a c-section I was even more grateful for my decision. I would have spent the time comforting my mother instead of having that time leaning on my husband.
My mother in law is wanting to be around for this baby. She's already been told that she will have to be in the waiting room and respect my privacy. And hope she understands how important it is to me. It's a difficult emotional and physical time for a mother and she should be the one to choose the level she shares with others. If you want your mother and MIL around, more power to you, but don't judge others who want their privacy respected.
"""""I agree, I dont want people around me and i want them to respect my wishes. While I can see how some people would want their mother there for the birth, I'm not one of them either. I love my mother very much and I'm still very close with her but our relationship has evolved over time. I think this is the case for most of us. During the birth of my daughter I also only wanted my husband with me. I lean on him and he is the only support I wanted with me. When we were rushed into a c-section I was even more grateful for my decision. I would have spent the time comforting my mother instead of having that time leaning on my husband.
My mother in law is wanting to be around for this baby. She's already been told that she will have to be in the waiting room and respect my privacy. And hope she understands how important it is to me. It's a difficult emotional and physical time for a mother and she should be the one to choose the level she shares with others. If you want your mother and MIL around, more power to you, but don't judge others who want their privacy respected.""""""
I'm curious, who was that ^^^ responding to? If it was me, I made 2 posts and my original post actually supported everything that you just said above. I actually agree with all of that! My "grandparent" response was just a response to terminology, and suggesting that thinking of them as parents might help someone understand why they want to be around... That being said, I do not want my mom in the delivery room (frankly I would love it if she would stay home until we asked for visitors but she flat out won't) so she stays in the waiting room. but I would never ever just not tell her that I was in labor or not tell her that I had HAD the baby the day before and also ignore her phone calls if she was checking on me. She would be so worried and hurt! And we aren't best friends....but she IS my mother and if my own children did that to me it would break my heart.
Re: Unpopular Opinion
I said I like to read about everyones pregnancy no matter how far along they are..some ppl are just excited and so am I. So idk why ppl on here have to discriminate on how many weeks someone is, as if their pregnancy is irrelevant to this forum..we're all November moms to be.
Also...is that ^^^^ butthurt?!!! (I am semi-ashamed to admit that I am not sure which ones are X_X
On a lesser scale of evil I don't love forum abbreviations like DH and MIL but I can see how people might find them convenient.
I mean let's not gain 80lbs or develop diabetes, but indulge, girl, indulge because soon you will have a little person who won't allow you to eat in peace while begging for a piece then spitting it back bc they don't like it! Agh!
My 3 year old begged me for the last chocolate croissant today. I so badly wanted it but gave in. I found it 15 minutes later in the hamster cage because "elsa was hungry too, mama". EAT ALL THE FOODS WHILST THE KID CANT TALK
Yes especially to words like hubby and the like. Not so much the abbreviations for me though.
Also, although I defiantly use it, I don't like the word boyfriend so much. I used that in high school for that caliber of seriousness in a relationship. Granted, I am not engaged or married, but to be honest I don't even know if that is something I would want (UO?). Yet, my man is no longer a 'boy' in the colloquial sense. I will usually say partner, but I think that confuses people. Lol. I don't get angry or anything if I'm called, just a random preference of mine.
I do not want visitors while in the hospital. We had people visit us last time that I had not seen in years. I have no idea why they thought it was ok to come just because I had a baby??
This time we've already agreed that my parents will be told as they'll have our kiddies but it's top secret until we are ready to share the news. I know it's their grandchild and they'll be the first people we call but I don't think it's selfish to want that alone time. And recovery time!
Plus (and this could be an UO) but I HATE letting other people hold my newborn for the first 12 hours. I think it should just be mummy and daddy (and maybe little siblings) time. This poor little baby has just been birthed in to a cold, loud world and just needs its parents. Not to be passed around to everyone who has arms. Back off- you can have a cuddle tomorrow. My mum understood this so well with both my babies and just cuddled me. MIL was not happy! I also didn't want people other than my husband to take photos in hospital... I wanted them to be our thing that only we had, something special to remember the big day. I don't want your flash going off in my newborns eyes or having to worry that I'm 100% covered up! Hospital time is private time in my opinion, be as strict as you feel you need to be!
When my first was born my SIL's friend posted a picture of my son on her FB claiming him as hers and told a guy that he was his and invited him to meet him. This guy is also the same person who when she was pregnant beat her to the point where she had a miscarriage. What if he kid napped my child!? Or hurt him!? Needless to say she was afraid to be friends with my SIL after I found out cuz I want batshit on both of them. And I still hate her.
My UO. I don't want any family or friends to come see the baby til it is two weeks old. Except my mom or MIL if I need them. My father is piss, cause he lives in California and I in Tennessee and says he has a right to come see the child and stay with us the day we come home. So he will not know when the child is born. I will not be sending pics out either. I sent my 10 week ultrasound out as an announcement to siblings and parents as a private thing. Not two mintutes later my dad sent a group text of our picture to everyone in the family. After I said this is private. I'm still mad.
I wish we could do the same this time but we need someone to watch DS and my parents are the logical choice.
We told our families last time that we wouldn't be calling until the baby was born. My parents are 2 hours away and my ILs are 3 hours away.
I was induced due to high BP and a day and a half into the induction I was making great progress and looked like it would be a few hours and she would be born. So I had my husband call our families and tell them. We said they could go to our house and we would call when they could come to the hospital.
12 hours after we made the call I hadn't progressed past 7cm! A few hours later I ended up with a CS at 1:45am. We called them and said they could come to the hospital around 10am. I was so out of it from 2 days of labor and surgery. I handed hem the baby and asked to close the curtain so I could nap! They only stayed an hour becaus I was so out of it.
This time hopefully my mom will watch my DD and I will VBAC and not worry about being so out of it.
But I do not want anyone there until we are ready.
I really do not understand how grandparents think they are entitled to being there.
I asked my mom if she could ever imagine her mom in the delivery room with her and she said no way. Exactly! So why should she be there for my moment.
Birth is intimate. It should be shared with the mother and father. So many hormones need to work right for everything to go well and extra people you're not comfortable with can throw off that balance.
It is a total entitlement issue and it makes me angry when family members think they can interrupt something like that.
My mother in law is wanting to be around for this baby. She's already been told that she will have to be in the waiting room and respect my privacy. And hope she understands how important it is to me. It's a difficult emotional and physical time for a mother and she should be the one to choose the level she shares with others. If you want your mother and MIL around, more power to you, but don't judge others who want their privacy respected.
"""""I agree, I dont want people around me and i want them to respect my wishes. While I can see how some people would want their mother there for the birth, I'm not one of them either. I love my mother very much and I'm still very close with her but our relationship has evolved over time. I think this is the case for most of us. During the birth of my daughter I also only wanted my husband with me. I lean on him and he is the only support I wanted with me. When we were rushed into a c-section I was even more grateful for my decision. I would have spent the time comforting my mother instead of having that time leaning on my husband.
My mother in law is wanting to be around for this baby. She's already been told that she will have to be in the waiting room and respect my privacy. And hope she understands how important it is to me. It's a difficult emotional and physical time for a mother and she should be the one to choose the level she shares with others. If you want your mother and MIL around, more power to you, but don't judge others who want their privacy respected.""""""
I'm curious, who was that ^^^ responding to? If it was me, I made 2 posts and my original post actually supported everything that you just said above. I actually agree with all of that! My "grandparent" response was just a response to terminology, and suggesting that thinking of them as parents might help someone understand why they want to be around... That being said, I do not want my mom in the delivery room (frankly I would love it if she would stay home until we asked for visitors but she flat out won't) so she stays in the waiting room. but I would never ever just not tell her that I was in labor or not tell her that I had HAD the baby the day before and also ignore her phone calls if she was checking on me. She would be so worried and hurt! And we aren't best friends....but she IS my mother and if my own children did that to me it would break my heart.