so i thought this could be a fun idea for a thread. just wondering what your SO does that is a major pet peeve that happens more than once.
my DH likes to improvise if a dish he needs is dirty. such as using a tupperware lid as a plate or using the actual container as a bowl (not talking about leftovers either) so instead of washing what he needs, he just dirties more dishes. and he doesnt rinse his dishes either. or he will wear a new clean shirt for all of 20 minutes, then takes it off and puts it in the dirty laundry hamper.
Mine piles his clothes up on the desk chair (when the closet is literally 2 feet away). He also leaves his towel on the floor because he has to step out of the shower onto something, but for some reason can't pick it up. Oh, and he leaves his shoes hanging halfway out of the bottom of the bed and I stub my toes during the night when I get up to go pee :-L
DH just drops stuff. He comes in the house and puts stuff down right inside the door. If I designate a spot for said stuff say, 3 steps away from there, he won't use it. Or, if he is using a tool, when he done he'll just put it aside on a table or counter or whatever and not put it back. Same with the tool bag. He will open it and paw thru everything, take some stuff out looking what he needs, then when he finds it just walk away and leave the tool bag gaping open, half the stuff scattered around it. And then, as above, won't return the tool he took out of it back to it. He just leaves *anything* laying *anywhere* ~X(
Takes his dirty socks off and leaves them in the living room.
Cares more about how organized and clean his tool box is than picking up his trail of crap he leaves around the house (socks, shoes, dirty dishes, work papers, wrappers, and electronics to name a few). Drives me nuts!
When my husband needs to find something he ALWAYS asks me where it is, instead of taking 10 seconds to look. Like if he's looking for his water bottle, he asks my where it is instead of glancing on the kitchen counter where it is in plain sight.
My DH takes forever to put his clothes away after I haul them downstairs, wash them, dry them, fold them, and then put mine and DS1's away (and I'll do DS2's when he gets here)...I have to nag him 2-3 times...its' not like he doesn't see them.
Oh and then he makes comments when I do whites which is 2-3 weeks to make it worth a load....like oh good you are finally doing whites...um hello you have legs, arms, and a brain, since the whites are 95% yours...you do a load if you need them that bad...then says oh well I don't so that is why I didn't say anything...except you just said something...OY!!!!
DH has OCD and one of his rituals is to open his bathroom cabinet to check to see if the baby lock is working. I need to start counting how many times he opens it. Also, he always pushes in his drawers to his dresser several times. He does both of these every morning and it usually wakes me up.
I can probably go on about a lot of his OCD tendencies...so I'll just leave it here.
DH just drops stuff. He comes in the house and puts stuff down right inside the door. If I designate a spot for said stuff say, 3 steps away from there, he won't use it. Or, if he is using a tool, when he done he'll just put it aside on a table or counter or whatever and not put it back. Same with the tool bag. He will open it and paw thru everything, take some stuff out looking what he needs, then when he finds it just walk away and leave the tool bag gaping open, half the stuff scattered around it. And then, as above, won't return the tool he took out of it back to it. He just leaves *anything* laying *anywhere* ~X(
ALL of this. Mine will also do something like come home from grocery shopping, put everything away, and proceed to point out to me how he put the groceries away all by himself (hello, are you three years old? Congratulations!). I try so hard not to be passive aggressive, but I can hardly not say, "Thank you for putting the food away. I'll take care of the receipt and bags that you left on the counter." It's almost a joke at this point, but only when I'm in a good mood!
When my husband needs to find something he ALWAYS asks me where it is, instead of taking 10 seconds to look. Like if he's looking for his water bottle, he asks my where it is instead of glancing on the kitchen counter where it is in plain sight.
Sometimes, when I can either see what he asks me about or I know it's exactly where it should be so it's clear he didn't look at all, I'll stare at him for a second and then say, "hm, I don't know." Makes me happy.
Upon further reflection I think I'm actually pretty terrible at avoiding passive aggression! It just drives me crazy.
@Frogger5 yeah! And since our guys rarely put anything away / where they belong / or at least in the same place every time instead of just laying it down here one time and there another... We get asked ALL the time where something is! And of course we have NO idea, cause they they just put it down *somewhere* that was convenient for them at that second. It could be on a bookshelf, a counter, in the garage, in the backyard... Prime example - hubs purchased a made to order zippo for our 10 year anniversary. Its pretty sweet. Its been missing ALL winter long. He's been bugging me about it all winter long. "Have you seen my zippo?" "Hey when you vacuumed the couch did you find the zippo?" "You didn't find the zippo in those clothes you washed, huh?" Anyways. So, he found the zippo this weekend that just passed. WHILE RAKING UP LEAVES IN THE BACKYARD. And as soon as I saw him pick it up off the grass and look at it wonderingly, I remembered the last time I had seen it last. In the fall, during our Irish wake for Fun, out by the firepit. He lit a smoke, and tossed it to his chair, and it bounced off and I said "you better get that, we'll lose it" and he basically dismissed me, probably reassuring me he would get it in a minute, and forgot about it in the grass. Where it sat until leaves fell on it, and snow fell on the leaves, and winter came and passed us by.
Sure, babe. Just put anything anywhere. Its fine. :-w
Oh man the finding things for sure mine will always ask me, and my response has been 'yes I know where everything is in the house said no husband ever' then I get the well if you would put things where they go blah blah. But truthfully I hate the snooze button. Dh has the loudest alarm possible. I'm convinced intelligent life on other plants hear it. He gets up at 5:20ish. The alarm goes off for 20 minutes beeping and then he has a second alarm that goes and chimes when he is suppose to leave, which is always when he is in the shower. His alarm is a math problem you have to solve to get it to stop... he took calculus 4 in college as an elective needless to say I'm not going to try and figure out how to plot a matrix. This issue has been years of fights, I think we've had more fights about the alarm than anything else put together. Otherwise he is a great dude.
I can relate to literally every single post on this thread. I love it.
He will wake me up just so I can help him find things in the morning. I'll be so exhausted and he makes it seem like I'm the one who lost his glasses/wallet/keys/phone or whatever it is. The other day I found his glasses in the dogs bed, like, come on!
Also, his socks. They are EVERYWHERE. On the bathroom floor, in the living room, in all MY drawers (how?!), in the bed, and once I found a pair on the kitchen counter! Why why why! I want to light them all on fire one day.
One more thing! I have to give him a tour of the kitchen every single time I grocery shop otherwise he just won't even notice all the food I got. He'll go starving before he'll take the effort to just find something to eat. I'll be like "Oh, I bought tons of stuff for sandwiches" and he'll be mad that I didn't tell him! OPEN YOUR EYES. It's not like I'm hiding it from him.
Ok I'm done. I love him so very much but I think he's still 12 years old.
DH has plenty of habits, but to be fair, so do I. One I find hilarious is that DH gets really mad if I "walk in front of him." Which I do if we need to scoot over to share the sidewalk with someone (what else am I supposed to do?) or if I want to check out a store window. He tries to walk in front of me to show me how annoying it is... But I just slide over or slow down. Not sure what the big deal is. He can be such an only child sometimes, needing his own space and own things.
@MurLindzz I wish! I try to get him all his favorite foods because we eat completely opposite and he doesn't even notice! I've just gotten in the habit of showing him every little thing I bought and what he can make with it. It's kind of ridiculous
My first one is similar to a lot of yours - we have our laundry basket literally right next to DH's dresser. I did this intentionally thinking he'd be more likely to use it. Nope. There is a mountain of clothes not even five feet away from the laundry basket!! The REALLY infuriating thing about this is that apparently the reason they're on the floor rather than in the basket is that half of them are clean (this is how DH justifies them being on the floor to me). What ends up happening without fail is he runs out of clothes in his dresser/closet and then attempts to stuff the mountain on the floor into the laundry basket for ME to carry down to the basement and wash. Never ever fits in the washing machine in one load. Thankfully, lately he's been the one carrying the basket down at least because I've gotten to the point where I really shouldn't be carrying something that heavy, but it's still annoying.
The other thing that really irritates me is that fun always comes first for him. This basically comes down to how we were raised. At my house, I wasn't allowed to go to friends' houses, play barbies, etc. until I'd finished all my chores and my homework. It taught me how to prioritize and to this day, my work comes before the stuff I do for fun. At DH's house, as long as stuff eventually got done, he could do whatever he wanted. So now getting him to put helping me with chores and studying for his CPA exam before the xbox is a huge struggle. The studying improved a bit after he failed the first part back in October and we had a talk about how by not studying he basically threw $300 down the toilet (wouldn't have minded him failing if he'd studied, but he only did sporadically) and now he's learned that sometimes he needs to put the xbox away if it's causing too much of a distraction. But the play-then-work thing really gets under my skin.
FWIW, I absolutely do things to irritate him too - off the top of my head, I'm much more confrontational and I'm bossy
OMG!! My DH does pretty much EVERYTHING listed above!!! I've learned not to say anything. No matter how I approach the subject of him cleaning up after himself he thinks I'm nagging. Good god!! I just want a little respect! I take care of our son, cook, clean, take out the trash, shop for groceries on a super tight budget, do all of the laundry, walk the dog...I feel more like a nanny/maid than a SAHM. I bust my pregnant ass cleaning all day then he comes home and trashes the place in less than 5 minutes. He doesn't notice when the house is clean but of course he makes comments when it's messy. I can't wait until this baby girl arrives!! Maybe he'll realize how much work it is to keep a house clean while also taking care of a toddler.
PS... I love all of these complaint threads!! They give me a way to bitch about my DH! I really do love him but sometimes I just need to vent, especially now that I have zero patience!
These sock posts are embarrassing me. I can't really stand having socks on in the house, I always take them off and put them by the couch. I try to remember to take them with me, but I forget. He gets exasperated and says it's the "one thing" he's asked of me not to do. Which is more or less true; I'm always the one who's telling him what he's doing that bothers me, but he never has anything to say in return. I feel bad, but . . . I don't know, not enough to focus on it and change my habits! I suppose that's what our guys feel. Big sigh.
Hubby will drink a beer or a soda and leave the empty can on the counter.
We don't recycle (tried and failed to establish that routine yearrrrs ago) so there is NO reason to not put an empty can in one of the two trash cans we have in the kitchen. There will be two or three cans on the counter and I'll end up throwing them away, like, "what are you saving these for?!"
He doesn't put any other trash on the counter. All other trash goes in the can like normal. I think this is so weird! Haha
Hubby will drink a beer or a soda and leave the empty can on the counter.
We don't recycle (tried and failed to establish that routine yearrrrs ago) so there is NO reason to not put an empty can in one of the two trash cans we have in the kitchen. There will be two or three cans on the counter and I'll end up throwing them away, like, "what are you saving these for?!"
He doesn't put any other trash on the counter. All other trash goes in the can like normal. I think this is so weird! Haha
You don't recycle?!? Whaaaa? Where do you live, my goodness? FYI, it really isn't that hard - sounds like you have two garbages already; you don't really need more than that.
@Frogger5 we don't recycle either, unfortunately our apartment building only offers a dumpster. If they had a place where we could put recyclables we'd use it but since they don't, we don't.
The not recycling thing makes me cringe! I'm also in Oregon though, where we recycle EVERYTHING. Our trash cans are smaller than our recycling bins (we can only fit 2 bags of trash in our garbage can for a week) and we have about 5 different recycling bins so we can sort them. I've just never even considered not recycling something. If I have to throw a can away for some reason I feel SO guilty.
We don't recycle either :-\" I did it my whole life as second nature but the town we moved to doesn't have a recycling plant and you need to hire a private company. We live in an apartment so it's not even feasible because there's nowhere to pick up, but once we move to a house in July I will be starting it again. It's weird for me to throw cans and magazines out.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
Our recycling pick up dates vary month to month- the pick up dates are NEVER the same. Trash pick up never changes. Our HOA fines us, too, for leaving recycle or trash bins out for more than 24 hrs. After paying $200 in those bs fines the first six months, we quit trying to keep up.
Those who cringe at us-- I guess we're just trashy people!
I do recycle when I'm out in public and there are bins available. I feel guilty if I don't. But my own trash?
Growing up a SoCal / west coast progressive, of course we recycled. When we loved in New Orleans they did not recycle. It was SO bizarre to throw out cans and bottles. Also to move to places where there were people who left lights on in rooms they weren't in (anyone from SoCal knows unless you want to pay out the nose you DO. NOT. WASTE. ELECTRICITY). Or for people who leave the water on when they brush their teeth (water being the precious commodity it is in the parched southwest). Blew my mind. "Whaaattt?! You're just gonna leave that light on?!?!"
I can relate to literally every single post on this thread. I love it.
He will wake me up just so I can help him find things in the morning. I'll be so exhausted and he makes it seem like I'm the one who lost his glasses/wallet/keys/phone or whatever it is. The other day I found his glasses in the dogs bed, like, come on!
Also, his socks. They are EVERYWHERE. On the bathroom floor, in the living room, in all MY drawers (how?!), in the bed, and once I found a pair on the kitchen counter! Why why why! I want to light them all on fire one day.
One more thing! I have to give him a tour of the kitchen every single time I grocery shop otherwise he just won't even notice all the food I got. He'll go starving before he'll take the effort to just find something to eat. I'll be like "Oh, I bought tons of stuff for sandwiches" and he'll be mad that I didn't tell him! OPEN YOUR EYES. It's not like I'm hiding it from him.
Ok I'm done. I love him so very much but I think he's still 12 years old.
You seriously described my DH to a T.
If I ever need to hide something from DH I'm putting it in the pantry or the back of the frig.
Wow. I didn't know it was so hard to recycle in other parts of the country. I would probably have a hard time recycling too if my city made it that hard. No judging here!
Wow. I didn't know it was so hard to recycle in other parts of the country. I would probably have a hard time recycling too if my city made it that hard. No judging here!
It's our damn neighborhood! My in laws have no problem putting their bins out twice a month in THEIR neighborhood.
Our house is on the market, so we won't have to deal with the snooty HOA for long. :-)
DH waits to do laundry for so long that he uses all the laundry baskets and I then have to passive aggressively ask for one. Typically I just buy another one and then he's all "why are you buying more laundry baskets?" (A. Because it's not worth getting in a fight over!)
He also complains I never buy work lunch food for him at the grocery store but when I do he never eats it! Freakin' cold cuts, wasting away in the fridge and I can't even eat them right now!
He also sheds his clothes after work in random rooms and just like.... Leaves them there. Dude, you have like 85 hampers in your possession!
Lastly, he is obsessed with old tools. Like goes to yard sales and buys them. He has dozens of chisels, maybe a hundred. He gets excited to look up the values and tell me the history of the tool and such. It's like a very boring Antiques Road Show. I'm irrationally bothered that he spends our money on this, even though it's not a lot of money. But when I see like 30 chisels, I just sigh and move on. At least his hobbies are nerdy and not like, hanging out at bars!
DH seems incapable of putting beer caps in the garbage, so they end up on the floor or in his pockets (and then through the laundry). Have you ever stepped on one of those suckers...worse than a lego!
Wow. I didn't know it was so hard to recycle in other parts of the country. I would probably have a hard time recycling too if my city made it that hard. No judging here!
It's our damn neighborhood! My in laws have no problem putting their bins out twice a month in THEIR neighborhood.
Our house is on the market, so we won't have to deal with the snooty HOA for long. :-)
Annnnnd we so close to Disney and Universal, which have major recycling programs. When you throw your trash away, they have sorting machines that do the recycling for the entire theme park. Awesommmmme!
DH seems incapable of putting beer caps in the garbage, so they end up on the floor or in his pockets (and then through the laundry). Have you ever stepped on one of those suckers...worse than a lego!
Mine says he wants to collect his and make something with them, but let's be honest - we all know our man, and I know my man, and I know he's not going to do anything with them. I wouldn't care if he at least put them into the designated storage I have assigned these 'project' bottle caps, but as per my last rant - homie just leaves stuff anywhere. I've stepped on bottlecaps. I feel ya.
Pretty much all of these! My biggest complaint about DH is about his sleeping habits. He snores like crazy but he works nights so we only really get to sleep together 2 times a week so that isn't that big of a deal. Since he works nights I wake him up at 9 to eat and get ready and he is a BEAR to get up and he normally ends up getting pissed off when I keep insisting he get up because it's time to go then he complains that he doesn't have enough time to get ready! Uh I tried waking you up 15 mins ago! Also when it's time for him to go pick up DD from my moms house he has a bad habit of turning his alarm off or getting up and then laying back down "just for a minute" and falling asleep again so I'm calling him constantly at work to try to wake him up-very frustrating! Also along the lines of leaving stuff laying around whenever he does go to pick DD up (and in all fairness he has been better only 2 missed times so far this month) he lets her coat socks and shoes lay on the floor right inside the front door- the coat sleeves inside out the shoes flung in multiple directions even though there's a coat hook literally right beside the door! Whenever I get home from work I'm always picking up a coat and putting away shoes and tossing socks in the hamper! He is a really great guy and works really hard so it's nice to have a place to complain without going off on him!
Re: Just for Fun-SO Pet Peeves?
Cares more about how organized and clean his tool box is than picking up his trail of crap he leaves around the house (socks, shoes, dirty dishes, work papers, wrappers, and electronics to name a few). Drives me nuts!
Also snores and sleep talks/walks.
My DH takes forever to put his clothes away after I haul them downstairs, wash them, dry them, fold them, and then put mine and DS1's away (and I'll do DS2's when he gets here)...I have to nag him 2-3 times...its' not like he doesn't see them.
Oh and then he makes comments when I do whites which is 2-3 weeks to make it worth a load....like oh good you are finally doing whites...um hello you have legs, arms, and a brain, since the whites are 95% yours...you do a load if you need them that bad...then says oh well I don't so that is why I didn't say anything...except you just said something...OY!!!!
I can probably go on about a lot of his OCD tendencies...so I'll just leave it here.
Upon further reflection I think I'm actually pretty terrible at avoiding passive aggression! It just drives me crazy.
Prime example - hubs purchased a made to order zippo for our 10 year anniversary. Its pretty sweet. Its been missing ALL winter long. He's been bugging me about it all winter long. "Have you seen my zippo?" "Hey when you vacuumed the couch did you find the zippo?" "You didn't find the zippo in those clothes you washed, huh?" Anyways. So, he found the zippo this weekend that just passed. WHILE RAKING UP LEAVES IN THE BACKYARD. And as soon as I saw him pick it up off the grass and look at it wonderingly, I remembered the last time I had seen it last. In the fall, during our Irish wake for Fun, out by the firepit. He lit a smoke, and tossed it to his chair, and it bounced off and I said "you better get that, we'll lose it" and he basically dismissed me, probably reassuring me he would get it in a minute, and forgot about it in the grass. Where it sat until leaves fell on it, and snow fell on the leaves, and winter came and passed us by.
Sure, babe. Just put anything anywhere. Its fine. :-w
Also letting the dog do whatever he wants because as he says "but he's so cute!" -- I'm in for serious trouble when this baby is born.
He will wake me up just so I can help him find things in the morning. I'll be so exhausted and he makes it seem like I'm the one who lost his glasses/wallet/keys/phone or whatever it is. The other day I found his glasses in the dogs bed, like, come on!
Also, his socks. They are EVERYWHERE. On the bathroom floor, in the living room, in all MY drawers (how?!), in the bed, and once I found a pair on the kitchen counter! Why why why! I want to light them all on fire one day.
One more thing! I have to give him a tour of the kitchen every single time I grocery shop otherwise he just won't even notice all the food I got. He'll go starving before he'll take the effort to just find something to eat. I'll be like
"Oh, I bought tons of stuff for sandwiches" and he'll be mad that I didn't tell him! OPEN YOUR EYES. It's not like I'm hiding it from him.
Ok I'm done. I love him so very much but I think he's still 12 years old.
DH has plenty of habits, but to be fair, so do I. One I find hilarious is that DH gets really mad if I "walk in front of him." Which I do if we need to scoot over to share the sidewalk with someone (what else am I supposed to do?) or if I want to check out a store window. He tries to walk in front of me to show me how annoying it is... But I just slide over or slow down. Not sure what the big deal is. He can be such an only child sometimes, needing his own space and own things.
The dishwasher has been unknown territory for years. Not sure why lol
...so close, yet so far!
The other thing that really irritates me is that fun always comes first for him. This basically comes down to how we were raised. At my house, I wasn't allowed to go to friends' houses, play barbies, etc. until I'd finished all my chores and my homework. It taught me how to prioritize and to this day, my work comes before the stuff I do for fun. At DH's house, as long as stuff eventually got done, he could do whatever he wanted. So now getting him to put helping me with chores and studying for his CPA exam before the xbox is a huge struggle. The studying improved a bit after he failed the first part back in October and we had a talk about how by not studying he basically threw $300 down the toilet (wouldn't have minded him failing if he'd studied, but he only did sporadically) and now he's learned that sometimes he needs to put the xbox away if it's causing too much of a distraction. But the play-then-work thing really gets under my skin.
FWIW, I absolutely do things to irritate him too - off the top of my head, I'm much more confrontational and I'm bossy
I've learned not to say anything. No matter how I approach the subject of him cleaning up after himself he thinks I'm nagging. Good god!! I just want a little respect! I take care of our son, cook, clean, take out the trash, shop for groceries on a super tight budget, do all of the laundry, walk the dog...I feel more like a nanny/maid than a SAHM. I bust my pregnant ass cleaning all day then he comes home and trashes the place in less than 5 minutes. He doesn't notice when the house is clean but of course he makes comments when it's messy. I can't wait until this baby girl arrives!! Maybe he'll realize how much work it is to keep a house clean while also taking care of a toddler.
PS... I love all of these complaint threads!! They give me a way to bitch about my DH! I really do love him but sometimes I just need to vent, especially now that I have zero patience!
We don't recycle (tried and failed to establish that routine yearrrrs ago) so there is NO reason to not put an empty can in one of the two trash cans we have in the kitchen. There will be two or three cans on the counter and I'll end up throwing them away, like, "what are you saving these for?!"
He doesn't put any other trash on the counter. All other trash goes in the can like normal. I think this is so weird! Haha
and he snores. i wanna shake him when he falls asleep before me
Those who cringe at us-- I guess we're just trashy people!
I do recycle when I'm out in public and there are bins available. I feel guilty if I don't. But my own trash?
Edited, I missed some words
If I ever need to hide something from DH I'm putting it in the pantry or the back of the frig.
Our house is on the market, so we won't have to deal with the snooty HOA for long. :-)
He also complains I never buy work lunch food for him at the grocery store but when I do he never eats it! Freakin' cold cuts, wasting away in the fridge and I can't even eat them right now!
He also sheds his clothes after work in random rooms and just like.... Leaves them there. Dude, you have like 85 hampers in your possession!
Lastly, he is obsessed with old tools. Like goes to yard sales and buys them. He has dozens of chisels, maybe a hundred. He gets excited to look up the values and tell me the history of the tool and such. It's like a very boring Antiques Road Show. I'm irrationally bothered that he spends our money on this, even though it's not a lot of money. But when I see like 30 chisels, I just sigh and move on. At least his hobbies are nerdy and not like, hanging out at bars!
But he's still the best guy, really.
Also along the lines of leaving stuff laying around whenever he does go to pick DD up (and in all fairness he has been better only 2 missed times so far this month) he lets her coat socks and shoes lay on the floor right inside the front door- the coat sleeves inside out the shoes flung in multiple directions even though there's a coat hook literally right beside the door! Whenever I get home from work I'm always picking up a coat and putting away shoes and tossing socks in the hamper!
He is a really great guy and works really hard so it's nice to have a place to complain without going off on him!