I agree with it being strange that people who are not expecting are on here. It's almost seems like they seek out the drama threads.
That's cause some of the drama threads are better than daytime TV. 170 new comments? Yep. That's a drama thread. "This week on Drama Thread! Who will have their intelligence called into question? Who will be told they lack maturity? Will a 'dirty lurker' from another's birth month's board be banned? Tune in to Drama Thread and find out!" "Viewer discretion is advised. Not all content may be suitable for hormonal women. "
UO #1: mom asks for advice on going natural and all the responses are horror stories or people telling her to have an open mind.
UO#2: Women who act confidently about their choices but then turn around and play the victim if anybody points out a differing (valid) opinion or experience.
Can you clarify this? I get the horror stories part-that's obvious. But what about the open mind part bothers you?
Usually it goes with the horror stories. Or it seems condescending. If something happens that requires a change of plans it happens. It's not real advice. It's equivalent to "just you wait and see". Women need advice and tools to cope, not to be told they have no idea what they're asking for.
I really dislike belly bump selfies. People keep telling me I "need" to take them. I can't handle it. I have a friend who posted a picture of her big naked belly and it really annoyed me. This is probably an irrational aversion I have, but frankly I just feel fat and bloated. No need to document that mess
I've only been able to take one, and I made my husband take it for me so I didn't have to do the awkward pose-holding-phone-in-front-of-mirror thing.
I haven't taken one picture of my bump! I actually think it's very cute, I'm just not into the whole thing! I really don't know why! And I feel bad about it! I feel like the Scrooge of Bumpie pictures lol. That being said, it doesn't bother me when other people do it!
I never took any with my first, never cared. Now that I'm pregnant with #2 it would be nice to look back and see when I started showing. So I'm taking them. Even if I don't think anyone will ever see them. Just a thought.
I really dislike belly bump selfies. People keep telling me I "need" to take them. I can't handle it. I have a friend who posted a picture of her big naked belly and it really annoyed me. This is probably an irrational aversion I have, but frankly I just feel fat and bloated. No need to document that mess
I've only been able to take one, and I made my husband take it for me so I didn't have to do the awkward pose-holding-phone-in-front-of-mirror thing.
I haven't taken one picture of my bump! I actually think it's very cute, I'm just not into the whole thing! I really don't know why! And I feel bad about it! I feel like the Scrooge of Bumpie pictures lol. That being said, it doesn't bother me when other people do it!
I never took any with my first, never cared. Now that I'm pregnant with #2 it would be nice to look back and see when I started showing. So I'm taking them. Even if I don't think anyone will ever see them. Just a thought.
I take bump selfies from time to time for my own personal use. I don't plan on sharing them, but one day I'd like to be able to show my kid a pic or two of mommy pregnant. I didn't take very many pics with my son and I regret it.
My UO: FTMs who decide to have all the pain relief before they even get a chance to see how well they handle contractions. Drugs are not risk free! They may not directly harm your baby but once you have an epidural, your chances of c-section multiply exponentially. Yes yes, it's your body, do what you want, but frankly I'm terrified to walk into a hospital when I go into labor because pain meds are so readily available. Everyone just assumes you're going to get them.
And don't even get me started on people who tell me I'm going to get the drugs anyways. I can't even.
UO: I get really irritated when women say they couldn't breatsfeed because of supply issues. The number of women who can't produce enough milk is incredibly low. Most likely they rceived poor information or had a lack of help or didn't really want to but had to give it a try for someone else. The reason it bothers me is because I think it makes other women think it is a common problem and they give up when really it isn't the problem.
Just to clarify my UO: if you don't want to nurse or can't I have no problem with it! It is women who make up an excuse why they couldn't that bothers me.
Who says they're making an excuse? Do you know them all personally? I tried BFing my daughter for months. I spent many many days with the lactation consultants and I just did not have enough milk. I even continued to pump the tiny bit that I did have to give her 1 small bottle of it a day because that's all I could get. I don't understand why it would make YOU upset. I bet I was more upset about the whole situation that you could even imagine.
Was your child ever checked for a tie? Tues can inhibit supply because the baby never gets that good vacuum seal/pull. I had my third daughters tie cut and it was an amazing difference. My midwives have begun checking for them and referring their clients to bfing clinic for revisions. I could never pump out anything that made it worth the time,so i supplemented once i returned to work.
My son had a tongue tie very bad. It make it impossible for him to latch to me ! We tried nipple sheilds and all ! Nothing worked for us. However I still pumped milk everyday all day for 6 months to give him ! He couldn't latch to silicone nipples either only latex ! Thank god he didn't end up with a latex allergy. His tongue tie was cut at 3 months but by then he was used to latex nipples !
Idk if this has been added but I'm finding I can't stand when a friend with a kid says "this is what you have to look forward to" when the kid is acting up. I know they think they are being funny or whatever but it annoys the crap out of me! Sorry your child is misbehaved?
This makes me want to say to FTMs any time my son does something really sweet or adorable, "this is what you have to look forward to!" Because when toddlers aren't throwing tantrums, they're learning new words on a daily basis, insisting that they "help" with cooking and cleaning and sometimes being so sweet and affectionate you want to cry.
UO: I get really irritated when women say they couldn't breatsfeed because of supply issues. The number of women who can't produce enough milk is incredibly low. Most likely they rceived poor information or had a lack of help or didn't really want to but had to give it a try for someone else. The reason it bothers me is because I think it makes other women think it is a common problem and they give up when really it isn't the problem.
Just to clarify my UO: if you don't want to nurse or can't I have no problem with it! It is women who make up an excuse why they couldn't that bothers me.
Who says they're making an excuse? Do you know them all personally? I tried BFing my daughter for months. I spent many many days with the lactation consultants and I just did not have enough milk. I even continued to pump the tiny bit that I did have to give her 1 small bottle of it a day because that's all I could get. I don't understand why it would make YOU upset. I bet I was more upset about the whole situation that you could even imagine.
Was your child ever checked for a tie? Tues can inhibit supply because the baby never gets that good vacuum seal/pull. I had my third daughters tie cut and it was an amazing difference. My midwives have begun checking for them and referring their clients to bfing clinic for revisions. I could never pump out anything that made it worth the time,so i supplemented once i returned to work.
My son had a tongue tie very bad. It make it impossible for him to latch to me ! We tried nipple sheilds and all ! Nothing worked for us. However I still pumped milk everyday all day for 6 months to give him ! He couldn't latch to silicone nipples either only latex ! Thank god he didn't end up with a latex allergy. His tongue tie was cut at 3 months but by then he was used to latex nipples !
We had my daughters cut within her first week and I'm already to go right away if this one is the same. I'd look into doing it quickly if it comes up again. I really just hope this one pops on and feeds. I'm experienced enough to know i can do it, but terrified of tongue tied baby's! My second born made me fear nipple loss. Ouch doesn't even begin to describe it.
My UO is that I don't really care what people think unless they're genuine. I think that genuine people ask you something directly if they want to know. Now with that said...I DID NOT have anyone banned!!!
1. I don't even know how to do that 2. I said what I had to say and left it alone like an adult and that was the end for me 3. No one's words would hurt me enough to report them, especially a strangers 4. If I did I'd surely admit it!
UO: I get really irritated when women say they couldn't breatsfeed because of supply issues. The number of women who can't produce enough milk is incredibly low. Most likely they rceived poor information or had a lack of help or didn't really want to but had to give it a try for someone else. The reason it bothers me is because I think it makes other women think it is a common problem and they give up when really it isn't the problem.
Just to clarify my UO: if you don't want to nurse or can't I have no problem with it! It is women who make up an excuse why they couldn't that bothers me.
Who says they're making an excuse? Do you know them all personally? I tried BFing my daughter for months. I spent many many days with the lactation consultants and I just did not have enough milk. I even continued to pump the tiny bit that I did have to give her 1 small bottle of it a day because that's all I could get. I don't understand why it would make YOU upset. I bet I was more upset about the whole situation that you could even imagine.
Was your child ever checked for a tie? Tues can inhibit supply because the baby never gets that good vacuum seal/pull. I had my third daughters tie cut and it was an amazing difference. My midwives have begun checking for them and referring their clients to bfing clinic for revisions. I could never pump out anything that made it worth the time,so i supplemented once i returned to work.
My son had a tongue tie very bad. It make it impossible for him to latch to me ! We tried nipple sheilds and all ! Nothing worked for us. However I still pumped milk everyday all day for 6 months to give him ! He couldn't latch to silicone nipples either only latex ! Thank god he didn't end up with a latex allergy. His tongue tie was cut at 3 months but by then he was used to latex nipples !
We had my daughters cut within her first week and I'm already to go right away if this one is the same. I'd look into doing it quickly if it comes up again. I really just hope this one pops on and feeds. I'm experienced enough to know i can do it, but terrified of tongue tied baby's! My second born made me fear nipple loss. Ouch doesn't even begin to describe it.
My son had surgery at 1 week old. They wouldn't cut his tie till 3 months. He was born with a cyst on his vocal cords, and had to have surgery. They didn't want to cut it right away !
Ever since becoming pregnant, other women have been sharing their pregnancy stories with me. I've come to the conclusion that many of them play up the "I'm pregnant" card and it irritates me.
My UO: FTMs who decide to have all the pain relief before they even get a chance to see how well they handle contractions. Drugs are not risk free! They may not directly harm your baby but once you have an epidural, your chances of c-section multiply exponentially. Yes yes, it's your body, do what you want, but frankly I'm terrified to walk into a hospital when I go into labor because pain meds are so readily available. Everyone just assumes you're going to get them.
And don't even get me started on people who tell me I'm going to get the drugs anyways. I can't even.
Please don't degrade women who opt for pain meds nor act like a nurse if you're not.(please clarify if you are, so the expertise can be noted) I had an epidural as soon as they started the meds to induce me (was a ftm) so I didn't get it while contracting and have chances of it messing up. I ended up with a c section because my son was physically stuck in the birth canal not bc of an epidural. I would never discourage anyone from getting one. Nor would I pass judgement on anyone for not wanting drugs. It's your choice but don't criticize those who choose a different route for child birth than you. If you go to a good reputable birthing hospital; they'll respect your birth plan. Giving birth is scary, exciting, and only you, your OBGYN and your spouses business on how you plan to do it.
I plan to breastfeed....and i commend women who are able to do it. Seriously, hats off ladies, I can only imagine it's not easy.
However...
I can't stand the self-righteous bf-ing moms out there. I have deleted many a friend on social networking sites for their antics. For instance, when in public, cover up. Yes it's natural...yes there are a sexualized ads everywhere and whatnot, but at least use a little discretion. I know at least 3 people who make it a point to try it wherever they can (bf bucket list)...and expose all, just so they can jump on their soap box when someone says something to them. Urks me to no end.
UO: I get really irritated when women say they couldn't breatsfeed because of supply issues. The number of women who can't produce enough milk is incredibly low. Most likely they rceived poor information or had a lack of help or didn't really want to but had to give it a try for someone else. The reason it bothers me is because I think it makes other women think it is a common problem and they give up when really it isn't the problem.
I can't dislike this more. There are plenty of reasons out there that women may not be able to produce enough. I think you've misconstrued exactly how plausible it is for some women not to be able to produce enough for their growing child. It's not like these women probably thought "oh well I tried, I give up".
It really irks me when people like you act like breastfeeding is a walk in the park and its most likely a lazy person giving up. Sometime breastfeeding isn't for them, but I commend them for at least trying.
My supply really did drop to the point where no fenugreek, oatmeal, power pumping or anything would help. Not one of the three lactation consultants I met with found my daughter's lip tie. It was only discovered by my friend who is a dentist well after my supply dried up. I tried everything, EVERYTHING possible to get my supply back up and nothing worked. I even tried to find a mommy who would let me nurse her baby (with no luck obviously) because that is how badly I wanted breastfeeding to work for us. I fought my butt off for 6 months and got every drop of milk out I could for her, but in the end my supply dropped and could not be brought up to more than two ounces per pumping session. I tried it all and cried my eyes out when I failed. It really bothers me that people actually think I might have used that as an excuse.
I hate when pregnant women use their pregnancy to eat horrible and be snotty bitches. I mean it's your body do what you want...but being pregnant isn't a reason to eat trash. And although our hormones are crazy, it's not an excuse to forget that little thing called tact and mindfulness.
It bothers me when people correct other peoples' grammar and spelling. It's a little too prescripted for me. Grammar and spelling don't matter except professionally and scholastically.
One might look like a fool, but it generally doesn't matter.
But I'm being a little bit of a hypocrite because when I see "alot " I want to throw stuff.
UO: I've decided I'm going to try cloth diapering and it rubs me the wrong way when I get, sarcastically, "well, good luck with that" followed by a few laughs. I know it's different, I know it's more work, and I know that I know second to nothing. But can't a girl have an idea of what she'd like to do? Can't a girl at least try?! I always resort to if it works, great. If not, I can say I've tried.
"You know I was going to crash into your car with reckless abandon, but wait there's a baby on board? Yikes, I better not!" Said no one ever.
This sign isn't so people drive more carefully around you. This sign is for emergency personnel in the event you are in an accident it clues them in to the fact that there is a person in the car that is not able to get out by themselves. This sign has helped many emergency personnel save the lives of infants who were involved in car crashes.
I think we say to keep an open mind because so many think that making a birth plan solidifies how it's going to go.
I don't think most women consider a birth plan concrete. Most women just want to be able to have a say. There is a big push against having a plan, but that is because it's annoying to hospitals, doctors and nurses when a mom doesn't want to go with the flow. Obviously in a dangerous situation women relinquish control. But many women go in to birth with no plan, and end up with all sorts of risky things done to them and then they assume it saved them or the baby and they pass that along. The reality is any thing
UO: I've decided I'm going to try cloth diapering and it rubs me the wrong way when I get, sarcastically, "well, good luck with that" followed by a few laughs. I know it's different, I know it's more work, and I know that I know second to nothing. But can't a girl have an idea of what she'd like to do? Can't a girl at least try?! I always resort to if it works, great. If not, I can say I've tried.
Cloth diapers are not hard. They have come so far. You'll do great, just beware,the cute prints become addictive!
I plan to breastfeed....and i commend women who are able to do it. Seriously, hats off ladies, I can only imagine it's not easy.
However...
I can't stand the self-righteous bf-ing moms out there. I have deleted many a friend on social networking sites for their antics. For instance, when in public, cover up. Yes it's natural...yes there are a sexualized ads everywhere and whatnot, but at least use a little discretion. I know at least 3 people who make it a point to try it wherever they can (bf bucket list)...and expose all, just so they can jump on their soap box when someone says something to them. Urks me to no end.
Who really cares if a breast is seen? I have friends who are very modest and friends who let it all hang out and I'm somewhere in the middle. If you're at my house, you might see a boob. If you're looking at me the entire time you will for sure see some nippleage. If you can't just look away get over it. I give no craps about a bit of boob being seen. I have no issue letting the girls out to play when it's adult fun time. And i have no problem putting them to work. They are just boobs. And everybody has nipples. Some people have three!
UO1: I disagree with the opinion that My choice to not take unnecessary meds during the pregnancy and take more caution than I did before with myself is a "FTM" thing. Really? If I get told "oh, it's because your a first time mom" one more time I'm going hormonal all over them! I've been helping raise babies for the better part of a decade. I'm making educated personal choices, not naive, overprotective choices.
UO2: The assumption that I should be blissfully excited now. Full disclosure, this is unplanned, I just started a new job, and we're only engaged and living in a small house. I'm more scared than anything and I think that's ok.
My husband was like....OMG I bought us the best stickers for our cars. I was hoping for something super cute. It finally showed up int he mail....and he bought us stickers that said "There's a baby up in this bitch"! Not what I was expecting!
You realize I'm searching for that right now... I need it... it's too good. Not big on the "Baby On Board" stickers but THAT is HILARIOUS!
I can't stand snarky comments about concerns or fears I may have as a first time mom. I'm aware some are completely outrageous and irrational but don't give me some b*tchy comment like I'm crazy. You were a first time mom once, just laugh laugh with me and say I'm overthinking. I'm pregnant, I will show you crazy
@komorebi if I tell older moms, or moms old enough to be my mom, they say how big of a pain it is. I don't think they know how far they have come so I can understand where they're coming from-- I mean, if I had to fold and pin everyone diaper, I'd think I'd be in the awful boat too. And if talk to moms my age, it's the poo they can't handle or having to do laundry. (I have to do laundry anyways, so....?!) It's always one or the other. You can't win. Haha! It just irks me when they tell me I won't make it and I'll go to disposable. I'm stubborn and want to show them they were all wrong.
I really don't care what people do in their own homes. For me, it's public places. Malls, restaurants. When I'm eating, and the person sitting across from me takes their top off it makes me a bit uncomfortable/awkward. Mostly because it's unnecessary. I'm not talking about when the blanket slips a little accidentally, I'm more annoyed at the purposeful disregard of others to prove a point.
I don't expect others to necessarily agree though, that's why it's an UO.
I plan to breastfeed....and i commend women who are able to do it. Seriously, hats off ladies, I can only imagine it's not easy.
However...
I can't stand the self-righteous bf-ing moms out there. I have deleted many a friend on social networking sites for their antics. For instance, when in public, cover up. Yes it's natural...yes there are a sexualized ads everywhere and whatnot, but at least use a little discretion. I know at least 3 people who make it a point to try it wherever they can (bf bucket list)...and expose all, just so they can jump on their soap box when someone says something to them. Urks me to no end.
Who really cares if a breast is seen? I have friends who are very modest and friends who let it all hang out and I'm somewhere in the middle. If you're at my house, you might see a boob. If you're looking at me the entire time you will for sure see some nippleage. If you can't just look away get over it. I give no craps about a bit of boob being seen. I have no issue letting the girls out to play when it's adult fun time. And i have no problem putting them to work. They are just boobs. And everybody has nipples. Some people have three!
I care! Lol. I explain like this. Breastfeeding is totally natural and women who do it should feel absolutely no shame or stigma. BUT just like having sex or pooping (totally natural!), I don't really want to see it when I'm at Starbucks trying to drink my coffee.
I wish the push was for more nice breastfeeding rooms (like bathrooms in their frequency) instead of pushing for everyone to be able to whip it out (I don't want guys pulling out their penis to pee on the street even though it's natural lol).
I plan to breastfeed....and i commend women who are able to do it. Seriously, hats off ladies, I can only imagine it's not easy.
However...
I can't stand the self-righteous bf-ing moms out there. I have deleted many a friend on social networking sites for their antics. For instance, when in public, cover up. Yes it's natural...yes there are a sexualized ads everywhere and whatnot, but at least use a little discretion. I know at least 3 people who make it a point to try it wherever they can (bf bucket list)...and expose all, just so they can jump on their soap box when someone says something to them. Urks me to no end.
Who really cares if a breast is seen? I have friends who are very modest and friends who let it all hang out and I'm somewhere in the middle. If you're at my house, you might see a boob. If you're looking at me the entire time you will for sure see some nippleage. If you can't just look away get over it. I give no craps about a bit of boob being seen. I have no issue letting the girls out to play when it's adult fun time. And i have no problem putting them to work. They are just boobs. And everybody has nipples. Some people have three!
I care! Lol. I explain like this. Breastfeeding is totally natural and women who do it should feel absolutely no shame or stigma. BUT just like having sex or pooping (totally natural!), I don't really want to see it when I'm at Starbucks trying to drink my coffee.
I wish the push was for more nice breastfeeding rooms (like bathrooms in their frequency) instead of pushing for everyone to be able to whip it out (I don't want guys pulling out their penis to pee on the street even though it's natural lol).
This is EXACTLY how I feel! My friends and I don't care when we are home and will just whip a boob out. Does not bother me one tiny bit! BUT. If I don't know you, I don't want to see you boob. Not in an advertisement, not ever. BFing is a beautiful and natural thing, but there are plenty of other natural things that I don't want to see (peeing, pooping or sex in public). If a couple is TTC during ovulation should they have a right to go have sex on a park bench because it's natural and they are trying to conceive a child? No.
I will nurse anywhere but either do it with a cover or in a carrier/wrap so that nothing is shown. It's the moms who get on a high horse about the fact that they shouldn't have to use discretion to feed their baby. Why not? I am a very very very liberal and progressive person when it comes to health and human rights, but I do not want to see your breasts in public. Use a little discretion and I oooooh and ahhhhhhh over the beauty of someone nursing in public. Shamelessly bear all, and it makes me uncomfortable.
Bottom line. Yes, it is natural, but so are other bodily functions and they are not publicly thrown in people's faces. Be respectful and discrete and the aversions people have to seeing mother's BF in public will be much easier to overcome. Throw it in their faces with nipples, not so much.
I wish the push was for more nice breastfeeding rooms (like bathrooms in their frequency) instead of pushing for everyone to be able to whip it out (I don't want guys pulling out their penis to pee on the street even though it's natural lol).
Yes yes yes! Some airports have the nicest rooms for nursing. Clean, comfortable and quiet. I really wish more places offered that to women.
@MerVer Baby On Board signs (little known fact!) are actually for first responders at the scene of an accident so they know to look for an infant, especially if the accident was extremely severe. One of my friends found that out when she was in an accident last month.
I know this isn't a typical opinion, but I am so tired of people second-guessing me when they hear I run 3+ miles every day with a jogging stroller. I'm definitely chubby for a typical runner, but I was a muscly soccer player in high school! I picked up distance running after two knee surgeries, and ran half marathons until I got pregnant, and now I just don't have the energy to do more than a few miles. Haha. But I wish people (doctors mostly) would stop lecturing me about my weight until they realize how much I exercise!
I have to agree on some points with the breast feeding. I too understand it's natural and our right to feed our children on demand wherever we may be but you should plan accordingly when you are out and use discretion when possible. I don't think women should be kicked out of restaurants or public places for breast feeding but I do think using discretion by covering up is courteous to others around you that may not be as comfortable with it. There was a time I was conducting an orientation at my school for a young man and his mother and mom whipped out her boob right in front of me and her 15 year old son to pacify her 18 month old child that was running around the room. When he refused to suckle she didn't cover up right away and it was uncomfortable for both me and her son. I of course acted as nothing and kept speaking but I'll admit I was very shocked she was so uninhibited especially in that setting with a stranger. Now if I'm home around family and you see my boob while I'm feeding my child well it's my home and I'm comfortable with you as my family but I'm not going to breastfeed my child on the couch next to my husbands guy friends while they are watching the game without a cover! Maybe it's just me but even in my home I try and make my guests comfortable it's about courtesy and we exercise it in many aspects of our life I don't see breast feeding being very different
This kinda goes with Kbabs47 UO about "this is what you have to look forward to," but I hate when people say things like "your life is over." "you'll never sleep again." "sleep while you can." etc. (I'm pretty sure I've complained about this before). I am aware there will be tough times, lots of missed sleep, and I wont have the ease or energy to just go out on the town. But...that being said, I almost never went out before getting pregnant so my "life" is NOT going to be over. It's going to be different, Challenging but blissfully different with a sweet little sidekick who I can shower with love and guidance and who will make it easy to not miss going out and getting drunk because I can. Just because YOU miss being able to go get schwasted "on the reg" doesn't mean I'll miss it one bit.
UO: I get really irritated when women say they couldn't breatsfeed because of supply issues. The number of women who can't produce enough milk is incredibly low. Most likely they rceived poor information or had a lack of help or didn't really want to but had to give it a try for someone else. The reason it bothers me is because I think it makes other women think it is a common problem and they give up when really it isn't the problem.
Just to clarify my UO: if you don't want to nurse or can't I have no problem with it! It is women who make up an excuse why they couldn't that bothers me.
I have had to fight the good fight every time to breastfeed, so really any excuse makes me mad. Own it. You should not have to use your body to do anything you don't want to do, but don't hide behind excuses or seek validation for quitting. I get that there is pressure to do it. And that is because it is optimal, but it isn't anybody else's choice to make.
I guess I am on the other side of the fence with this. I DID try to breastfeed....I never swelled, my breasts never grew or leaked, I fed every 4 hours and pumped every 2 only to get out about a teaspoon or 2 each time. I find it incredibly rude and insensitive when people on these boards (not the posters that I am replying to) "assume" that I couldn't breastfeed because I was lazy or gave up when it was quite the opposite. My doctor actually advised me to quit because it wasn't working and it was robbing me of the enjoyment of having a newborn little baby to coo and awe over. It was a complete nightmare. With this pregnancy, I will not go through that again. My little boy will be perfectly fine and healthy with formula and his mother will be less stressed and happier ...unless of course my breasts decide to work this time, then I may give it a go again....probably not though.
My unpopular opinion... I am sick of everyone saying "it will all work out" or "everything happens for a reason!". Sometimes, things don't go as planned, sometime sh*t just happens... saying "it will all work out" doesn't help! My husband and I were trying to get pregnant when I was laid off in February. We got our BFP the next day. Yes, we were excited. Yes, the timing was brutal. Yes, we freaked out a little. We are a little scared, things are a little tough, and I am trying to be optimistic, but hearing clichés from our friends and family doesn't make it easier. I know they mean well... but it just gets annoying after a while!
I hate when people go out of their way to show me stats from other countries that have longer maternity leave than the US. Yes...I know Canada has 50 weeks (or a year) and that a lot of countries offer really long maternity leave there is NOTHING I can do about that. I live here...I work here..... i can't just move to Canada or the U.K now that i'm pregnant for "proper maternity leave." (best friend is from the UK, in laws are from Ontario) sheesh, way to make sure i feel awful about my maternity leave benefits.
@komorebi if I tell older moms, or moms old enough to be my mom, they say how big of a pain it is. I don't think they know how far they have come so I can understand where they're coming from-- I mean, if I had to fold and pin everyone diaper, I'd think I'd be in the awful boat too. And if talk to moms my age, it's the poo they can't handle or having to do laundry. (I have to do laundry anyways, so....?!) It's always one or the other. You can't win. Haha! It just irks me when they tell me I won't make it and I'll go to disposable. I'm stubborn and want to show them they were all wrong.
The poop isn't even bad until they are eating solids. And once there is enough to shake out or rinse off you're supposed to put it in the toilet whether it's cloth or spoosies. It says so on packs of diapers. That's my favorite comeback. Poop andthe handling of it is a huge part of parenting. Lol
I plan to breastfeed....and i commend women who are able to do it. Seriously, hats off ladies, I can only imagine it's not easy.
However...
I can't stand the self-righteous bf-ing moms out there. I have deleted many a friend on social networking sites for their antics. For instance, when in public, cover up. Yes it's natural...yes there are a sexualized ads everywhere and whatnot, but at least use a little discretion. I know at least 3 people who make it a point to try it wherever they can (bf bucket list)...and expose all, just so they can jump on their soap box when someone says something to them. Urks me to no end.
Who really cares if a breast is seen? I have friends who are very modest and friends who let it all hang out and I'm somewhere in the middle. If you're at my house, you might see a boob. If you're looking at me the entire time you will for sure see some nippleage. If you can't just look away get over it. I give no craps about a bit of boob being seen. I have no issue letting the girls out to play when it's adult fun time. And i have no problem putting them to work. They are just boobs. And everybody has nipples. Some people have three!
I care! Lol. I explain like this. Breastfeeding is totally natural and women who do it should feel absolutely no shame or stigma. BUT just like having sex or pooping (totally natural!), I don't really want to see it when I'm at Starbucks trying to drink my coffee.
I wish the push was for more nice breastfeeding rooms (like bathrooms in their frequency) instead of pushing for everyone to be able to whip it out (I don't want guys pulling out their penis to pee on the street even though it's natural lol).
This is EXACTLY how I feel! My friends and I don't care when we are home and will just whip a boob out. Does not bother me one tiny bit! BUT. If I don't know you, I don't want to see you boob. Not in an advertisement, not ever. BFing is a beautiful and natural thing, but there are plenty of other natural things that I don't want to see (peeing, pooping or sex in public). If a couple is TTC during ovulation should they have a right to go have sex on a park bench because it's natural and they are trying to conceive a child? No.
I will nurse anywhere but either do it with a cover or in a carrier/wrap so that nothing is shown. It's the moms who get on a high horse about the fact that they shouldn't have to use discretion to feed their baby. Why not? I am a very very very liberal and progressive person when it comes to health and human rights, but I do not want to see your breasts in public. Use a little discretion and I oooooh and ahhhhhhh over the beauty of someone nursing in public. Shamelessly bear all, and it makes me uncomfortable.
Bottom line. Yes, it is natural, but so are other bodily functions and they are not publicly thrown in people's faces. Be respectful and discrete and the aversions people have to seeing mother's BF in public will be much easier to overcome. Throw it in their faces with nipples, not so much.
Breastfeeding is like eating. It's not sex, its not defecation or urination. It's not some private act between lovers. It's like eating. Food. In public. can't even listen once i hear that. And it honestly makes me want to flash people.
@tate62610 i try. I've been doing this message board thing for 10 years, so I've learned to just type out the mean stuff and not post it! Lol. Or to be funny if i really care.
Re: Unpopular Opinion
I take bump selfies from time to time for my own personal use. I don't plan on sharing them, but one day I'd like to be able to show my kid a pic or two of mommy pregnant. I didn't take very many pics with my son and I regret it.
And don't even get me started on people who tell me I'm going to get the drugs anyways. I can't even.
This makes me want to say to FTMs any time my son does something really sweet or adorable, "this is what you have to look forward to!" Because when toddlers aren't throwing tantrums, they're learning new words on a daily basis, insisting that they "help" with cooking and cleaning and sometimes being so sweet and affectionate you want to cry.
1. I don't even know how to do that
2. I said what I had to say and left it alone like an adult and that was the end for me
3. No one's words would hurt me enough to report them, especially a strangers
4. If I did I'd surely admit it!
That is all.
However...
I can't stand the self-righteous bf-ing moms out there. I have deleted many a friend on social networking sites for their antics. For instance, when in public, cover up. Yes it's natural...yes there are a sexualized ads everywhere and whatnot, but at least use a little discretion. I know at least 3 people who make it a point to try it wherever they can (bf bucket list)...and expose all, just so they can jump on their soap box when someone says something to them. Urks me to no end.
One might look like a fool, but it generally doesn't matter.
But I'm being a little bit of a hypocrite because when I see "alot " I want to throw stuff.
I know it's different, I know it's more work, and I know that I know second to nothing. But can't a girl have an idea of what she'd like to do? Can't a girl at least try?! I always resort to if it works, great. If not, I can say I've tried.
UO2: The assumption that I should be blissfully excited now. Full disclosure, this is unplanned, I just started a new job, and we're only engaged and living in a small house. I'm more scared than anything and I think that's ok.
And if talk to moms my age, it's the poo they can't handle or having to do laundry. (I have to do laundry anyways, so....?!)
It's always one or the other. You can't win. Haha! It just irks me when they tell me I won't make it and I'll go to disposable. I'm stubborn and want to show them they were all wrong.
I don't expect others to necessarily agree though, that's why it's an UO.
I wish the push was for more nice breastfeeding rooms (like bathrooms in their frequency) instead of pushing for everyone to be able to whip it out (I don't want guys pulling out their penis to pee on the street even though it's natural lol).
I will nurse anywhere but either do it with a cover or in a carrier/wrap so that nothing is shown. It's the moms who get on a high horse about the fact that they shouldn't have to use discretion to feed their baby. Why not? I am a very very very liberal and progressive person when it comes to health and human rights, but I do not want to see your breasts in public. Use a little discretion and I oooooh and ahhhhhhh over the beauty of someone nursing in public. Shamelessly bear all, and it makes me uncomfortable.
Bottom line. Yes, it is natural, but so are other bodily functions and they are not publicly thrown in people's faces. Be respectful and discrete and the aversions people have to seeing mother's BF in public will be much easier to overcome. Throw it in their faces with nipples, not so much.
I wish the push was for more nice breastfeeding rooms (like bathrooms in their frequency) instead of pushing for everyone to be able to whip it out (I don't want guys pulling out their penis to pee on the street even though it's natural lol).
Yes yes yes! Some airports have the nicest rooms for nursing. Clean, comfortable and quiet. I really wish more places offered that to women.
I know this isn't a typical opinion, but I am so tired of people second-guessing me when they hear I run 3+ miles every day with a jogging stroller. I'm definitely chubby for a typical runner, but I was a muscly soccer player in high school! I picked up distance running after two knee surgeries, and ran half marathons until I got pregnant, and now I just don't have the energy to do more than a few miles. Haha. But I wish people (doctors mostly) would stop lecturing me about my weight until they realize how much I exercise!