Not trying to be insensitive. If you had a miscarriage previously it is understandable. But people getting all worked up about someone telling them happy mother's day is a bit melodramatic in my opinion.
Like I said to each their own. But if you are online and try to control what everyone says it's probably best for you to just delete your account or change your settings to where no one can tag you or post on your wall.
It's not melodramatic to feel as if you should be the one determining what parts of your life are public knowledge. It's my news to share as I see fit, not anyone elses.
It's not about being paranoid it's about being a little more secure with what I put online about my personal life. Most people use the same username for many things. A simple google search can easily links things pretty damn easily. Twitter, FB, IG, Pintrest most people use the same email so it's not like it's super secure if someone wants to find you. I joined an online group when I was pregnant with my first I posted pics of my son online, I also innocently enough wasn't too private about my first name or my husbands or anything. This was six years ago, right when a lot of social media was taking off and imagine my surprise when I found out how easy it was to link everything to me. THe internet isn't private and anyone could have found my and my location in seconds. I learned from that. FB and other accounts aren't much more private, your "friends" can share things, comment things and so on and people besides your friends can instantly see it. Not to mention my kids are little, they are 5 and 2, they aren't posting their own pics but I do on FB and IG to my friends but I m still not blasting everything I do on there because I don't want their entire life posted and documented online. People don't care about every single thing in life and maybe it's my 32 year OLD self coming out but the internet is forever and I and pretty particular what I share on my social media sites even with friends and family. Just my personal decision. Every single day there are stories in the news about what people post online, where they are at this exact location, what they are doing etc. Just not my thing and I am assuming many others. Some people want pregnancy to be more of a private thing and not blasted everywhere. Makes total sense to me.
Sorry, but I disagree. I think it is quite unrealistic in this day and age to try and control what everyone may or may not say about you on social media especially how much of a mix bag of people are on your facebook --your parents, friends, co-workers, etc.. You can't expect every person to be as sensitive or as private as you may be. That's why the settings are there, for people who don't want people commenting on their lives for whatever reasons. You can even create groups of people to share things with if you don't want everyone knowing certain things. If you are that worked up about it then maybe you shouldn't be online in the first place. It is called "social" media after all.
Edit-- I just read the post directly above this one. This is all I am going to say. Maybe you should learn how to use social media correctly. There are settings so you don't end up in search engines, etc. That's fine if you don't want to "blast" I don't "blast" everything either. But I also am not such a control freak that I get worked up if someone mentions something that I haven't made public--in fact, it's not even an issue because I have privacy settings in place.
@Rikki_5 you are completely missing the point though. A lot of people are private and want to remain so. It doesn't mean they shouldn't be online. Some people want to blast every check-in, every look what I am eating post and every single thing they do or their child does. Many people do not. I am trying to explain why people choose not to.
edit: Have you ever googled your name or frequently used username etc?
Then we have a very fundamental difference of opinion. I expect that people have the same respect for me in daily life as they do on the internet. Most importantly not to share my business when I have asked them not to. Whether thats in day to day life or online. In either scenario I would be upset. It's not "unrealistic in this day and age to try and control what everyone may or may not say about you on social media " It's called being a responsible adult. It doesn't need to be said that one will never have complete control over what is put out there but if you don't at least make an effort, who knows what could end up out there for the world to see.
I don't even have my real name on facebook so I understand all about privacy. What I am saying is that you may expect people to have respect for you online but it's rarely the case in this day and age. That is why privacy settings are so key on facebook. You can't control the world and really if you are trying to control the internet then it's just sad and/or a waste of time. lol... :-)
Then we have a very fundamental difference of opinion. I expect that people have the same respect for me in daily life as they do on the internet. Most importantly not to share my business when I have asked them not to. Whether thats in day to day life or online. In either scenario I would be upset. It's not "unrealistic in this day and age to try and control what everyone may or may not say about you on social media " It's called being a responsible adult. It doesn't need to be said that one will never have complete control over what is put out there but if you don't at least make an effort, who knows what could end up out there for the world to see.
This! I told the people I care about, and so far all of them have respected my wishes not to post anything. Just because I have a big life event doesn't mean I shouldn't use social media. It's about respect. I would never do that to my friends or family, and I expect the same courtesy. That isn't too much to ask.
I don't even have my real name on facebook so I understand all about privacy. What I am saying is that you may expect people to have respect for you online but it's rarely the case in this day and age. That is why privacy settings are so key on facebook. You can't control the world and really if you are trying to control the internet then it's just sad and/or a waste of time. lol... :-)
No one is trying to control it but be RESPONSIBLE with what they feel comfortable sharing with. I'm not sure how it's LOL worthy or sad or a waste of time. In fact it's pretty damn smart.
I was writing about the original poster. She was complaining because her supervisor at work who happened to be friends with her mom posted happy mother's day mom to be or something to that effect. Of course your immediate friends and family will respect your wishes but it's not always the case and in today's day and age about how fast word travels to "the others" when it comes to social media. so in fact, you guys are missing MY point. I'm not saying being private is wrong, to each their own. But If you don't want things getting around, change your privacy settings to where you have to approve comments/tags/etc. or get off social media. It's simple common sense.
I was writing about the original poster. She was complaining because her supervisor at work who happened to be friends with her mom posted happy mother's day mom to be or something to that effect. Of course your immediate friends and family will respect your wishes but it's not always the case and in today's day and age about how fast word travels to "the others" when it comes to social media. so in fact, you guys are missing MY point. I'm not saying being private is wrong, to each their own. But If you don't want things getting around, change your privacy settings to where you have to approve comments/tags/etc. or get off social media. It's simple common sense.
You are so pleasant. Glad you're part of the board. All we need is someone else here being condescending and rude. We get it. You don't agree with us. Move on.
I was writing about the original poster. She was complaining because her supervisor at work who happened to be friends with her mom posted happy mother's day mom to be or something to that effect. Of course your immediate friends and family will respect your wishes but it's not always the case and in today's day and age about how fast word travels to "the others" when it comes to social media. so in fact, you guys are missing MY point. I'm not saying being private is wrong, to each their own. But If you don't want things getting around, change your privacy settings to where you have to approve comments/tags/etc. or get off social media. It's simple common sense.
If that is YOUR whole point (which it didn't seem to be judging by some of your other comments) I'm not sure why you felt the need to even comment on this post since I had already added a second comment and admitted I didn't know it was an option to have the privacy set so that you had to approve people's comments. If someone admits they have done something wrong or didn't know something you don't have to berate them even further for it.
I admit since I do have a social media account I should know about the privacy settings. I had just not checked them in the last few years and the only privacy setting I ever remembered seeing was changing things from the entire public seeing to just friends seeing which I had done and thought that was the most private you could get on social media.
I didn't add this post to start any fights or look for any opinions as to why I should post about my pregnancy. I just thought it would be good for people to vent about it if it's happened to them before. If people get annoyed by venting posts then they shouldn't read them. I stated clearly at the start "here is my vent". You did not have to read past that if you were just going to be negative. I understand some people will be negative no matter what and I shouldn't post on forums if I don't want negative comments but I think negative people shouldn't comment just because they have nothing better to do.
That's great, but I wasn't being negative. I was stating my opinion. This is a public forum and if you want to "vent" then don't be surprised when someone doesn't agree why you are being so melodramatic. Have a wonderful day!
Ok, so no one can say anything if it contradicts anyone’s original post without getting attacked and called a troll? Give me a break. I never was once rude or negative, I was just saying it’s a bit melodramatic in my opinion to get worked up over that. Sorry if I offended anyone but I think you guys are going off on me for no reason. Are people not allowed to have independent opinions on these boards?
I don’t see why everyone is getting so upset at me just because I think it’s silly to get worked up about facebook stuff when there are simple privacy settings in place and that is all I was stating. That it only takes common sense if you are so sensitive and private to change them so you don’t have to deal with it.
Continue on with your immaturity if you must. It just shows what type of person you are.
We are not jumping all over you but we got it the first time. You don't agree. So move on. Why continue attempting to argue over it? Why must you have the last word? You're entitled to your opinion. You shared it. You aren't going to change anyone's mind by continuing to post condescending and rude comments. There is a major difference between sharing your opinion when you don't agree and facilitating drama because you want to beat a dead horse.
Ok, so no one can say anything if it contradicts anyone’s original post without getting attacked and called a troll? Give me a break. I never was once rude or negative, I was just saying it’s a bit melodramatic in my opinion to get worked up over that. Sorry if I offended anyone but I think you guys are going off on me for no reason. Are people not allowed to have independent opinions on these boards?
I don’t see why everyone is getting so upset at me just because I think it’s silly to get worked up about facebook stuff when there are simple privacy settings in place and that is all I was stating. That it only takes common sense if you are so sensitive and private to change them so you don’t have to deal with it.
Continue on with your immaturity if you must. It just shows what are the type of person you are.
There are no privacy settings that keep my mother from posting a status update to all 975 of her Facebook friends that I am pregnant, and even include a picture of my ultrasound with my doctors name, etc. (Because I texted her a pic of her new grand baby). There are NO PRIVACY SETTINGS that can keep her from doing that. And I have EVERY RIGHT to be pissed if she does, regardless of my use of social media.
If my mother texted 1000 people with my ultrasound pic, I would be just as ticked off. My baby, my body, and I get to choose what people know. People should be respectful of that.
I don't understand why this is so hard for people to understand.
@JaqiDec04 I'm really sorry you and your mom don't communicate. I told my mom and MIL to wait until 12 weeks in order to make sure everything was OK and they both respected my wishes. I guess in that case you are right, if your mom doesn't respect you enough to do that maybe you should keep stuff to yourself until you are ready to share if you are gonna be online. That's tough, it's sad that people go against you like that, especially your own family. I was speaking to the fact that the majority of people's friends and family respect their wishes.
@MirandaC1984 Again, I wasn't posting rude or condescending comments. Why must I have the last word? I musn't--but when you post just calling me a "troll" then maybe you should take a look in the mirror instead of calling me out on trying to have the last word. I kept posting because I thought this was a board for discussion, not a board that people attacked and called people rude, condescending, or a "troll" because they have a different opinion.
@Rikki_5 - it was an example. The point is, not all social media issues can be solved with privacy settings. And if people always respected our wishes, this post wouldn't have been started in the first place.
THe reason people went "off" on you @ Rikki_5 is because you said it was melodramatic, that people should want to tell everyone they were pregnant, if people had such an issue with privacy (which reasonings were actually explained nicely)they should delete their accounts and stay offline, that people were ridiculous for trying to keep some things private and so forth. No one that was pointing these out argued to keep as much settings as possible private BUT rather that plan and simple some people don't want everything online plain and simple.
I don't take back my melodramtic comment because it IS melodramatic to "vent" about something that should be a non-issue. The OP was talking about her co-worker. Please don't type words into my mouth. I never said anyone was ridiculous. I said to each their own if you want to be so sensitive and private than it's a simple fix and to use common sense and change your settings. In response, I get attacked on here for having a differing opinion. I do think that if you are on social media why wouldn't you share the happy news but if you choose NOT to then change your privacy settings. I don't get why that is so hard for you to understand. Good day.
I don't understand why many of you don't want to post you are pregnant on facebook. You ARE pregnant and if you have a facebook account why not share the good news with everyone?!
Why even have a facebook account then? I understand about the privacy thing but what are you saying that if you post something about you being pregnant on facebook someone is going to try and do what ? If you have your settings to private then no one can see anything you post. I'm not all about blasting everything either but it just seems weird to be so private about a huge life event and have a facebook account. Maybe you should just delete your social media accounts if you are so paranoid. lol. But to each their own!
Sorry, but I disagree. I think it is quite unrealistic in this day and age to try and control what everyone may or may not say about you on social media especially how much of a mix bag of people are on your facebook --your parents, friends, co-workers, etc.. You can't expect every person to be as sensitive or as private as you may be. That's why the settings are there, for people who don't want people commenting on their lives for whatever reasons. You can even create groups of people to share things with if you don't want everyone knowing certain things. If you are that worked up about it then maybe you shouldn't be online in the first place. It is called "social" media after all.
Edit-- I just read the post directly above this one. This is all I am going to say. Maybe you should learn how to use social media correctly. There are settings so you don't end up in search engines, etc. That's fine if you don't want to "blast" I don't "blast" everything either. But I also am not such a control freak that I get worked up if someone mentions something that I haven't made public--in fact, it's not even an issue because I have privacy settings in place.
I don't even have my real name on facebook so I understand all about privacy. What I am saying is that you may expect people to have respect for you online but it's rarely the case in this day and age. That is why privacy settings are so key on facebook. You can't control the world and really if you are trying to control the internet then it's just sad and/or a waste of time. lol... :-)
I was writing about the original poster. She was complaining because her supervisor at work who happened to be friends with her mom posted happy mother's day mom to be or something to that effect. Of course your immediate friends and family will respect your wishes but it's not always the case and in today's day and age about how fast word travels to "the others" when it comes to social media. so in fact, you guys are missing MY point. I'm not saying being private is wrong, to each their own. But If you don't want things getting around, change your privacy settings to where you have to approve comments/tags/etc. or get off social media. It's simple common sense.
NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE CONTROLLED BY A SETTING. Which is why most people have an issue with others sharing and posting things. They prefer to choose what is shared with people and what is not. They try to remain as private as possible and there is no reason that it's melodramatic. You said more than once to get off social media if you want privacy so no one put words in your mouth. I don't get what is so hard for you to understand what you said is why people took issue with it.
Ya - maybe you should get off social media if your immediate friends and family cannot control themselves enough to respect your wishes and if they are that untrustworthy, maybe you should keep things to yourself until you are ready to share things with them. That would solve the issue of your "hypothetical mother" sharing your business when you asked her not to with her 975 facebook friends or whatever. It IS melodramatic to complain about something that has a simple fix. I get it though--some people like complaining anonymously on forums because they have no one else to bitch to at home.
And actually, beyond that -- everything can be controlled with your privacy settings. You may not be able to control what someone says to THEIR fb friends, but if they love and respect you enough that is a non-issue anyway. And if they don't or won't then you really have bigger issues than some supervisor at work or your mom's friend posting happy mothers day mom-to-be.
@MirandaC1984 . I wasn't starting arguments, geez. I was stating my opinion which I guess is quite unpopular. You are the one who is name calling, posting annoying and sarcastic gifs, and taking the time to look up troll. Take your own advice.
@MirandaC1984 Sweetie, I was never arguing. I'm a bit more mature to "argue" with some stranger on some baby board. But if you call me names and misstate what I was saying then I'm going to call you out on it. So deal with it.
I get the annoyance with being outed, but if it is something someone has known for awhile and they truly forgot I think intent is important to consider. Delete it and send her a message or talk to her explaining why (the few people I told before I went public knew to be quiet on FB and understood), but take a moment and think about the fact that on Mother's Day the woman was thinking of you and excited for you that you will be a mother and sent you well wishes. The intention was positive and supportive for you and your baby and your new journey.
I completely understand being upset by being outed. I personally haven't shared anything on social media, simply because I don't want to. It's not that I am trying to hide it or anything of the sort (all my family and friends know that need to know) I just don't think it's everyone on my facebook's business. I am also starting medical school in the fall and don't think it's appropriate to display every detail of my life to classmates I barely know and when I haven't even told the administration at my school yet. Honestly it's silly to be arguing about something like Facebook. As she said to each their own, what's good for me isn't good for everyone. I'm excited for everyone who shares their news on facebook, I just don't feel a need to myself
Facebook is so phony..:that's why I choose not to make a pregnancy announcement. And this is from someone who's used it from the start, and worked in social media at a large company.
People are quick to post they got flowers from their SO, but don't tell you it's because they got in an argument the day before.
Same with pregnancies: posting a cute kid with a sign saying "only child status expires on xx date", but sometimes behind that photo are two parents who can't stand the sight of each other.
I think I've seen this happen so many times on Facebook, I'm jaded and just prefer to keep my news to close friends and family.
@satindawl83, I completely agree with you! The only reason I keep my fb account is for networking purposes with other professionals in my field. It's seriously a necessity (unfortunately!)
My sister posted my ultrasound picture (I gave her a copy being it was the first baby for the family) to Facebook and announced the sex. I hadn't posted anything on Facebook myself so I was super irritated. When I asked her to take it down she got quite upset and thought that it was her right to be excited about her first nephew too.
I had to make a FB announcement today because people keep tagging me in post about being a mom. Then to top it off a friend posted a picture of her kissing my belly. I told her no FB but it's on there and my phone has been blowing up with questions!! Ugh:(
Re: People Randomly posting about your pregnancy on Facebook
If that is YOUR whole point (which it didn't seem to be judging by some of your other comments) I'm not sure why you felt the need to even comment on this post since I had already added a second comment and admitted I didn't know it was an option to have the privacy set so that you had to approve people's comments. If someone admits they have done something wrong or didn't know something you don't have to berate them even further for it.
I admit since I do have a social media account I should know about the privacy settings. I had just not checked them in the last few years and the only privacy setting I ever remembered seeing was changing things from the entire public seeing to just friends seeing which I had done and thought that was the most private you could get on social media.
I didn't add this post to start any fights or look for any opinions as to why I should post about my pregnancy. I just thought it would be good for people to vent about it if it's happened to them before. If people get annoyed by venting posts then they shouldn't read them. I stated clearly at the start "here is my vent". You did not have to read past that if you were just going to be negative. I understand some people will be negative no matter what and I shouldn't post on forums if I don't want negative comments but I think negative people shouldn't comment just because they have nothing better to do.
Ok, so no one can say anything if it contradicts anyone’s original post without getting attacked and called a troll? Give me a break. I never was once rude or negative, I was just saying it’s a bit melodramatic in my opinion to get worked up over that. Sorry if I offended anyone but I think you guys are going off on me for no reason. Are people not allowed to have independent opinions on these boards?
I don’t see why everyone is getting so upset at me just because I think it’s silly to get worked up about facebook stuff when there are simple privacy settings in place and that is all I was stating. That it only takes common sense if you are so sensitive and private to change them so you don’t have to deal with it.
Continue on with your immaturity if you must. It just shows what type of person you are.
People are quick to post they got flowers from their SO, but don't tell you it's because they got in an argument the day before.
Same with pregnancies: posting a cute kid with a sign saying "only child status expires on xx date", but sometimes behind that photo are two parents who can't stand the sight of each other.
I think I've seen this happen so many times on Facebook, I'm jaded and just prefer to keep my news to close friends and family.
Ugh:(