If you could tell a newbie anything...

didi0308 · April 2015

@BHEAT14 thank you for that. I have been a lunatic all day worrying about AF possibly arriving this weekend and you really put it into perspective

Alisey924 · April 2015

BHEAT14 said:
I've been thinking about it and I have two more pieces of advice.

1) Always assume you are the rule not the exception. Yes people do get their BFP in their first month TTC, most of us will take longer. Yes people do have implantation bleeding, most of us are in the 70% who don't. Yes, people go off BCP and get their BFP 28 days later, most people need time to adjust. Some people have perfect 28 days cycles and O on day 14, most of us are not calendars so temping is the only way to confirm O 100%.

I think assuming you're the rule, not the exception keeps expectation in check and helps ease the blow of getting AF over and over again.

My second piece of advice is kind of a downer but go with me.

2) Some of us will never get a BFP but that doesn't mean you won't still be a wonderful mother. Adoption and foster care are wonderful options and a great way to become a parent. I'm adopted and I can testify first hand that my mother is as much of a mother as any biological mother. She still took care of me when I was sick, taught me to drive, watched me graduate and helped me plan my wedding and she NEVER got a BFP. I think we should all remember not getting a BFP isn't the end of our baby dreams, it just means our baby is coming another way.

BHEAT14 #2 is beautiful! Thanks so much for that reminder!

PumpkinTi · April 2015

The waiting 20 min to clean up post bd "for sperm to swim up" (or in my case, falling asleep instead of cleaning up...) = recipe for UTI = not fun...

surferP528 · April 2015

OP I really enjoyed your beautiful sentiment about adoption. What a great reminder of what being a parent truly means.

mamaburdin2010 · April 2015

If newbies could stop posting threads asking if they are pregnant, that'd be great

ecmb · April 2015

Thaaaaaaaaanks. (Where's @missteacherlady16 with her GIFs??)

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

Bump!

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

ecmb said:
Thaaaaaaaaanks. (Where's @missteacherlady16 with her GIFs??)

Oh! I just saw this! I've been mobile most of this week because of state testing so I don't get notifications about being tagged unless I'm on the board when it happens

and I can't properly gif when mobile anyway.

Don't worry - I'll be back in action soon!

firebaby688 · April 2015

missteacherlady16 said:

ecmb said:
Thaaaaaaaaanks. (Where's @missteacherlady16 with her GIFs??)
Oh! I just saw this! I've been mobile most of this week because of state testing so I don't get notifications about being tagged unless I'm on the board when it happens and I can't properly gif when mobile anyway.

Don't worry - I'll be back in action soon!

Are you in Michigan by any chance? All my therapy kids have state testing this week.

[Deleted User] · April 2015

A lot of states are testing right now. I'm an AZ teacher and this whole month is testing. Super messed up schedule.

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

firebaby688 said:

missteacherlady16 said:

ecmb said:
Thaaaaaaaaanks. (Where's @missteacherlady16 with her GIFs??)
Oh! I just saw this! I've been mobile most of this week because of state testing so I don't get notifications about being tagged unless I'm on the board when it happens and I can't properly gif when mobile anyway.

Don't worry - I'll be back in action soon!
Are you in Michigan by any chance? All my therapy kids have state testing this week.

Nope - testing in PA. We're a small group so I'm helping out with PSSA testing (grades 3-8) but then I'll be proctoring the keystone tests the end of May. I hate the spring semester lol

kmcc14 · April 2015

missteacherlady16 said:

firebaby688 said:

missteacherlady16 said:

ecmb said:
Thaaaaaaaaanks. (Where's @missteacherlady16 with her GIFs??)
Oh! I just saw this! I've been mobile most of this week because of state testing so I don't get notifications about being tagged unless I'm on the board when it happens and I can't properly gif when mobile anyway.

Don't worry - I'll be back in action soon!
Are you in Michigan by any chance? All my therapy kids have state testing this week.
Nope - testing in PA. We're a small group so I'm helping out with PSSA testing (grades 3-8) but then I'll be proctoring the keystone tests the end of May. I hate the spring semester lol

We're in PA too! My step-daughter is doing the PSSA tests right now (3rd grade).

firebaby688 · April 2015

I figured they were all around the same time, but didn't think it would all happen the same week, especially since different schools start and end at different times.

kbru88 · April 2015

Bump

rachajoy09 · April 2015

Bump

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

BUMP

DandT2point0 · April 2015

I don't know how you regs do it!!!

mrs3615 · April 2015

BUMP

firebaby688 · April 2015

Double bump!

[Deleted User] · April 2015

If you're under the age of 21 and you're on here actively trying to conceive, please know you will not find a lot of support.

Being a mother is a wonderful thing that you should absoutly expereince if you want, but not until your brain is fully developed and you can understand the full ramifications of your actions.

Honestly if you're under the age of 23 I would still give you a quiet side eye. Continuing research suggests the human brain is "adult" closer to the mid twenties.

https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24173194

mrsespigreen · April 2015

antoto said:
If you're under the age of 21 and you're on here actively trying to conceive, please know you will not find a lot of support.

Being a mother is a wonderful thing that you should absoutly expereince if you want, but not until your brain is fully developed and you can understand the full ramifications of your actions.

Honestly if you're under the age of 23 I would still give you a quiet side eye. Continuing research suggests the human brain is "adult" closer to the mid twenties.

https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24173194

Started NTNP when I just turned 23 (got married at 22!)

and even within that year many changes happen which allowed us be even more prepared for a baby then when we started.

Kind of glade didn't get pregnant in those early months

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

rel1988 · April 2015

As a newbie, this thread is awesome!!! Thank you all for the immense help you have been so far and I look forward to continuing on in this journey with you ladies

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

bump

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

bump

LauraSmarterSpam · April 2015

Lots of bumping on the bump today. To all of the "Am I pregnant" posters. You've already posted it, people have quoted you, there is no point in trying to delete it. Just move along.

mrsgillham14 · April 2015

Bump...cause we really need this

mamaburdin2010 · May 2015

Bumping it back to the top

GetMeASandwich · May 2015

mamaburdin2010 · May 2015

Wish we could pin this to the top permanently

tigerfish227 · May 2015

mamaburdin2010 said:
Wish we could pin this to the top permanently

Agreed.
@BumpAdmin can we make this thread sticky please?

27alex · May 2015

Bump.

puppylove8910 · May 2015

Lurk, lurk & when in doubt, lurk some more. I'm a newbie & started lurking around Thanksgiving 2014 before my intro post 3 days ago.

27alex · May 2015

PSA

if the majority of the women on this board do not know you/ recognize you by your SN then your BFP post does not need it's own thread.

Post it in TWW if you regularly participate or go straight to your BMB.

This is board ettiquette! Please please please think about it. Unless you will be recognized as missing when you just head to your BMB, it's not appropriate.

[Deleted User] · May 2015

27alex said:
PSA

if the majority of the women on this board do not know you/ recognize you by your SN then your BFP post does not need it's own thread.

Post it in TWW if you regularly participate or go straight to your BMB.

This is board ettiquette! Please please please think about it. Unless you will be recognized as missing when you just head to your BMB, it's not appropriate.

I dunno about anyone else but I TOTALLY stalk the TWW thread because I really like seeing the BFPs, and am always hoping everyone gets one. I assume a lot of other people stalk it too, so not much of a point in posting on a new thread...

ktmitchell11 · May 2015

I stalk them too. I like to see at what day they got one too. I tested this morning at 11dpo and got BFN, but emilily tested Saturday and got BFN (12dpo), then got a faint positive at 14dpo. Gives me hope...

[Deleted User] · May 2015

It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.

27alex · May 2015

antoto said:
It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.

I was around when people got reamed for doing it.

And it really is like waving your BFP at a stranger when ladies on the board don't know you. I'm not a sensitive person by any means but it's just not cool.

[Deleted User] · May 2015

27alex said:

antoto said:
It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.
I was around when people got reamed for doing it.

And it really is like waving your BFP at a stranger when ladies on the board don't know you. I'm not a sensitive person by any means but it's just not cool.

Yep yep. Is it in our TOU/guidelines? Cause it probably should be...

ktmitchell11 · May 2015

antoto said:

27alex said:

antoto said:
It doesn't exactly make me angry or even annoyed when people do that, but it's just not necessary. Also I'm not QUITE TTC yet so I'm not as sensative to that now as I probably will be in a few months.
I was around when people got reamed for doing it.

And it really is like waving your BFP at a stranger when ladies on the board don't know you. I'm not a sensitive person by any means but it's just not cool.
Yep yep. Is it in our TOU/guidelines? Cause it probably should be...

Legit question: When/where is it appropriate to post about BFP's? When you get one do you just silently go into the night? haha

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