I guess you would call them rules. Like no one can smoke around baby? Things like that. I have five month old twins who were eight weeks early and because they were born in the middle of flu season, being premature, and having not had any visitors other than myself and my boyfriend in the hospital, whenever we came home we still didn't let anyone visit. No one even held them until they were a month old. And even then I wasn't entirely happy about it. I got so tired of people showing up at our house that we ended up moving 45 minutes away just so we wouldn't be so close to everyone, and no one knows where we live now. We take the girls every few weekends to see people, but anytime someone holds them for what I think is too long, I snatch them back and I'm ready to go home. I feel like I'm being overprotective, and I know it sounds selfish but I really don't want to share them. Did you ever feel like that? I think most of it is because no one does what I ask to be able to see them. No one showers and wears clean clothes without smoking until they hold them, so those people never see them. I am still having to remind people to wash their hands. I have said a thousand times that I don't want anyone to kiss their face, and anytime I see someone about to I lose my temper. Is it just me or is it normal to feel the way I feel? And do you have rules/boundaries like that?
Re: Do you have rules?
It is normal to have some basic rules and any parent with a new baby should have these rules but I think that moving away and being as strict as you are is a little over the top. BUT, you do have preemies so your situation is a little different than someone with a full term baby. I'd be more paranoid too.
You just have to be up front with people in the nicest way possible and don't back down. These are your babies and you have to do what you feel is best for them.
Good luck Mama!