Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Do you have rules?

I guess you would call them rules. Like no one can smoke around baby? Things like that. I have five month old twins who were eight weeks early and because they were born in the middle of flu season, being premature, and having not had any visitors other than myself and my boyfriend in the hospital, whenever we came home we still didn't let anyone visit. No one even held them until they were a month old. And even then I wasn't entirely happy about it. I got so tired of people showing up at our house that we ended up moving 45 minutes away just so we wouldn't be so close to everyone, and no one knows where we live now. We take the girls every few weekends to see people, but anytime someone holds them for what I think is too long, I snatch them back and I'm ready to go home. I feel like I'm being overprotective, and I know it sounds selfish but I really don't want to share them. Did you ever feel like that? I think most of it is because no one does what I ask to be able to see them. No one showers and wears clean clothes without smoking until they hold them, so those people never see them. I am still having to remind people to wash their hands. I have said a thousand times that I don't want anyone to kiss their face, and anytime I see someone about to I lose my temper. Is it just me or is it normal to feel the way I feel? And do you have rules/boundaries like that?

Re: Do you have rules?

  • I understand where you are coming from... my boys were 6 weeks premature born in November.  They pretty much stayed home, except for Dr visits until the end of March.  After that I took them all over- story time at the library, the mall, target, my parents etc.  So while I know you are concerned- it is May time to get them out (unless they have some medical issues that your Dr does not want them out).  As for smoking- yes I understand that rule- it is understandable to not want them exposed to second hand/ third hand smoke..... The washing of hands is important when newborns - but soon they are going to be crawling all over the floor and unless they live in sterile room they are going to be exposed to germs- which I think that is a good thing- engages the immune system.
    I never liked people kissing on my boys either but I was not going to cause a huge fight over it or lose my temper over something that in a few months the babies are going to be slobbering all over everyone else sharing their germs with everyone.  Unless the person has a cold sore then I said something before they held them about not kissing them with a cold sore.  Also people want to hold your kiddos- by 5 months I was more than pleased to let other home them and give them bottles... etc for as long as they wanted.  
    My boys had their first colds at 6 months- it was not overwhelming and they have been super healthy... they are 4.5 years old today.
    I think you really need to chill you sound like you might need to step back and have some time to yourself.
  • It is normal to have some basic rules and any parent with a new baby should have these rules but I think that moving away and being as strict as you are is a little over the top. BUT, you do have preemies so your situation is a little different than someone with a full term baby. I'd be more paranoid too.

    You just have to be up front with people in the nicest way possible and don't back down. These are your babies and you have to do what you feel is best for them.

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  • pchungpchung member
    My LO was 5 weeks early born in November so I know exactly what you mean.  I had strict rules of no sick visitors and must use hand sanitizer.  But unfortunately you can't protect your LO forever.  Eventually they will be mobile and get into germs themselves.  I do think some basic rules is good.  The no kissing with cold sores is a must.  Just know that as your LOs get older the stronger their immune system is. 

    Good luck Mama!
  • I can see when they were newborns..  I was very strict with washing hands etc....
    Now my Lo is almost 5 months and everything is out the window. Like above stated they will be crawling all over soon. You should try to calm down and take a more lax approach so you don't stress yourself out.
  • I understand where you are coming from. My baby was past due and I still had rules. Like washing hands if you are family, I didn't let strangers touch him at all until he had his shots...about 3 months old. I DO NOT like anyone kissing him unless they are grandparents. Lol. My husband and mother n law smokes but they wash their hands before handling the baby. He is almost 4 months now and I have calmed down a bit. We also live 8-9 hrs away from both our family, so we really never had many visitors all the time either.
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