I'm 23 years old and a FTM. This was an unplanned pregnancy. I have a somewhat supportive partner, bless him, he tries but I don't think his priorities are in order. I'm seeking any kind of advice that you all can offer. I feel so overwhelmed and confused with everything.
Re: Much Needed FTM Advice
Make sure you have your own support too, your mom, aunt, whoever you can lean on for mom advice.
Firstly
to let daddy help and "talk" him through things rather than taking over when he asks for help. If you take over he will feel like he is not able to do things. I had to sit on my hands( for real) and talk my hubby through a big messy poopy diaper, bath time and many other time where It would have just been easier for me to take over and do it. My hubby has thanked me a few times for not just pushing him out and doing it all my self. And it boosts his confidence and bond with baby.
Secondly
take some time for you, where hubby or you mom or who ever you trust to baby sit and go have a bath or wash your hair or go for a coffee. Anything to make a bit of time for your self. It can be hard for find a balance but you need it.
Thirdly
Your the mom and he's the dad. Take advices from others but do what is right for your family. BUT..... dads input is just as important as your. so chances are if he speaks up its worth a talk or just going along with it.
For example my hubby pretty much just lets me parent and never has an issue but when our son started eating he did ask me not to give DS any form of processed sugar, but to rather use honey or maple syrup instead. To me that was not a big deal and we just change the sugar in our house to honey and syrup. But when he raised the concern about giving medicine during teething, we sat and had a talked and I told him what I knew, and he told me what he knew, and then we did some research and talked to family and we decided to give Motrin when needed and to use an amber teething necklace but I also try to avoid giving meds daily and use cold cloths before giving meds.
You dont want you partner to feel like he can't chime in and say "hey why do you do that, that way?"
Fourthly
If your birth doesn't go according to what you wrote in your birth plan, it's going to be ok. It might not feel like it right at the time or just after but in time the wounds will heal, mental and physical. It's ok to be sad and upset even angry But please talk about it with hubby or a councillor because it can be hard to over come on your own.
DS1 -6/25/11
DS2 -3/23/13
Missed MC D&C 8/26/14
DD - 8/26/15
LO#4 due 5/30/17