@27alex Sighhhhh... Ok, here I go again with saying this. I don't know how many times I've said this already, 50 at least (or it feels like I've said this that many times). I'm. Not. Going. To. Try. To. Conceive. I. Changed. My. Mind. I. Am. Waiting.
I'm waiting. So, don't worry.
And he brought the whole marriage thing up. Not me. It actually caught me by surprise. And in case you didn't read what my boyfriend does as a job he's a water guy. I can't remember his exactly job title. But he gets paid $20/hr. I KNOW that that could support my family. My parents supported a family of 4 on LESS than that, so I know it's doable. Anyway, yeah. He brought the marriage thing up. I really like him, and I can see it working out. And he isn't controlling at all. He's the exact opposite. If he was controlling, I would have dumped him a long time ago.
@TheBorg7of9 I don't need him to. He just does it because he wants to. I tell him he doesn't have to worry about it, and he says he wants to buy me things because he likes to. I'm running low on money, so I don't want to spend it on shorts right now. And yesterday it was really hot outside, and he asked me why I was wearing pants and not shorts since it was so nice out, and I told him I didn't have any shorts. Then he told me he'd buy me some for my birthday. I told him he didn't have to, and that I'd get myself some, but he said he wanted to buy them for me. He insisted, so I accepted. And what mean he makes sure I'm fed when I'm hungry is when we're out and about hanging out he'll occasionally ask if I'm hungry. And when I am he'll ask me what I would like, and he'll go through McDonalds and get a fry or take me out to icecream, or he'll take me out to dinner. He doesn't do that often. Just sometimes.
You can't afford shorts right now but you want to have a baby? You do know that costs more than shorts, yes?
Even if your boyfriend can afford to buy you a few small things, that doesn't mean he can afford an entire household. I was able to buy shorts, and McDonalds fries and icecream for myself at the age of 16 on my whopping 7 bucks an hour while working as a hostess, but that doesn't mean I could float a household.
@27alex Sighhhhh... Ok, here I go again with saying this. I don't know how many times I've said this already, 50 at least (or it feels like I've said this that many times). I'm. Not. Going. To. Try. To. Conceive. I. Changed. My. Mind. I. Am. Waiting.
I'm waiting. So, don't worry.
And he brought the whole marriage thing up. Not me. It actually caught me by surprise. And in case you didn't read what my boyfriend does as a job he's a water guy. I can't remember his exactly job title. But he gets paid $20/hr. I KNOW that that could support my family. My parents supported a family of 4 on LESS than that, so I know it's doable. Anyway, yeah. He brought the marriage thing up. I really like him, and I can see it working out. And he isn't controlling at all. He's the exact opposite. If he was controlling, I would have dumped him a long time ago.
You have zero clue what the real world is. I think you should move out of your parents and see if you two can live on $20 an hour.
@TheBorg7of9 I don't need him to. He just does it because he wants to. I tell him he doesn't have to worry about it, and he says he wants to buy me things because he likes to. I'm running low on money, so I don't want to spend it on shorts right now. And yesterday it was really hot outside, and he asked me why I was wearing pants and not shorts since it was so nice out, and I told him I didn't have any shorts. Then he told me he'd buy me some for my birthday. I told him he didn't have to, and that I'd get myself some, but he said he wanted to buy them for me. He insisted, so I accepted. And what mean he makes sure I'm fed when I'm hungry is when we're out and about hanging out he'll occasionally ask if I'm hungry. And when I am he'll ask me what I would like, and he'll go through McDonalds and get a fry or take me out to icecream, or he'll take me out to dinner. He doesn't do that often. Just sometimes.
You can't afford shorts right now but you want to have a baby? You do know that costs more than shorts, yes?
Even if your boyfriend can afford to buy you a few small things, that doesn't mean he can afford an entire household. I was able to buy shorts, and McDonalds fries and icecream for myself at the age of 16 on my whopping 7 bucks an hour while working as a hostess, but that doesn't mean I could float a household.
I would also like to point out that $20/hour was a LOT more a few decades ago than it is now. So to you parents they may have been able to survive on that when they were your age, but now 20/hour is NOTHING. Both my husband and I make more than that and we still struggle - without kids.
@27alex Sighhhhh... Ok, here I go again with saying this. I don't know how many times I've said this already, 50 at least (or it feels like I've said this that many times). I'm. Not. Going. To. Try. To. Conceive. I. Changed. My. Mind. I. Am. Waiting.
I'm waiting. So, don't worry.
And he brought the whole marriage thing up. Not me. It actually caught me by surprise. And in case you didn't read what my boyfriend does as a job he's a water guy. I can't remember his exactly job title. But he gets paid $20/hr. I KNOW that that could support my family. My parents supported a family of 4 on LESS than that, so I know it's doable. Anyway, yeah. He brought the marriage thing up. I really like him, and I can see it working out. And he isn't controlling at all. He's the exact opposite. If he was controlling, I would have dumped him a long time ago.
You have zero clue what the real world is. I think you should move out of your parents and see if you two can live on $20 an hour.
Yep. I agree.
I think you should go over all of your finances. Make sure you deduct car insurance/payment, gas, rent/utilities, health insurance, food, phone bill, medical bills, AND then think about adding a baby to that...and then let me know if you can afford those shorts you needed.
@TheBorg7of9 I don't need him to. He just does it because he wants to. I tell him he doesn't have to worry about it, and he says he wants to buy me things because he likes to. I'm running low on money, so I don't want to spend it on shorts right now. And yesterday it was really hot outside, and he asked me why I was wearing pants and not shorts since it was so nice out, and I told him I didn't have any shorts. Then he told me he'd buy me some for my birthday. I told him he didn't have to, and that I'd get myself some, but he said he wanted to buy them for me. He insisted, so I accepted. And what mean he makes sure I'm fed when I'm hungry is when we're out and about hanging out he'll occasionally ask if I'm hungry. And when I am he'll ask me what I would like, and he'll go through McDonalds and get a fry or take me out to icecream, or he'll take me out to dinner. He doesn't do that often. Just sometimes.
You can't afford shorts right now but you want to have a baby? You do know that costs more than shorts, yes?
Even if your boyfriend can afford to buy you a few small things, that doesn't mean he can afford an entire household. I was able to buy shorts, and McDonalds fries and icecream for myself at the age of 16 on my whopping 7 bucks an hour while working as a hostess, but that doesn't mean I could float a household.
I would also like to point out that $20/hour was a LOT more a few decades ago than it is now. So to you parents they may have been able to survive on that when they were your age, but now 20/hour is NOTHING. Both my husband and I make more than that and we still struggle - without kids.
^^This. DH makes more than that, I make close, and we get a 70% salary check because DH is medically retired from the navy.
We are still trying to figure out how to budget with a baby.
There's this thing called inflation OP. Google it.
TL;DR just about everything OP wrote. Damn, made my head hurt.
I'm very glad you are putting TTC on hold. Have you thought about staying with the parents and trying school? Maybe community college? Maybe YOU can make a whooping $20/hr and you won't have to worry as much about finances when the time comes to have a baby. Just a thought, it's great to be able to support you and baby if something were to happen. You don't know what the next 5 or 10 years may bring.
@Fuzzy228 Um. I think you should have read through ALL the comments and everything before commenting. This is already all taken care of. I'm waiting. No need to flip out, and get frustrated. I'm waiting.I've said that I have no idea how many times now, but yes. So, chill. I'm waiting until I get a job, and move out. By then my BF and I will probably be engaged. He's been talking about engagement and getting married. So, yeah.
And if you don't want to deal with 'idiots' then why do you even bother commenting or reading 'idiots' posts? You can avoid all that simply by stop reading or not commenting. Or both. Just saying.
If I married the guy I dated at 20...
I married the guy I dated at 20, but not until I was 25. And then we didn't have our first child until 4 years after that.
Oh man. If I dated the guy I was with at 20 ... my life would be terrible. I'd probably have a kid but most definitely be divorced, not on the career path I'm on, not having lived in Thailand, not at all the person I am today. Terrible.
DH and I met when I was 24 and didn't get married until I was 30. Best. Decision. Ever.
I married the man I started dating at 18, but we were together 6 years before we were married. We did have our son around 3 years after we started dating, but we were lucky and it definitely wasn't easy.
@Fuzzy228 Um. I think you should have read through ALL the comments and everything before commenting. This is already all taken care of. I'm waiting. No need to flip out, and get frustrated. I'm waiting.I've said that I have no idea how many times now, but yes. So, chill. I'm waiting until I get a job, and move out. By then my BF and I will probably be engaged. He's been talking about engagement and getting married. So, yeah.
And if you don't want to deal with 'idiots' then why do you even bother commenting or reading 'idiots' posts? You can avoid all that simply by stop reading or not commenting. Or both. Just saying.
I did read the thread. And my comments still stand. The fact that you "changed your mind" supports my belief that you are too immature to even be contemplating TTC. It's online forum. You don't get to decide who responds and what they say. There's another life lesson. Some of these posts actually warrant intelligent people to read them to answer. Like people that have life experiences or doctorate degrees- which I have both. I cannot help that when I read a post it makes me want to pull my hair out because you didn't have the decency to lurk before asking an overly repeated question or maybe evaluate your situation before you expect us to braid your hair and clap that you are a 20 yo trying to get knocked up.
OMG - Not even the first page of TCOYF and I have a resource for you @shishiblossom - "Also by Toni Weschler, MPH: Cycle Savy: The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body."
Ok I'll add a few things just to help enlighten you. I make $1700 a month (salary about $16 an hour part time), my dh makes $13.46 an hour part time (about $1300 a month, take home closer to $1000 after taxes, union dues, and insurance premiums) so that's $3000 a month. Currently, I am about to start a second job because we literally cannot pay all of our bills and have enough left over to live comfortably. Just for some calculations, $20 at 40 hours a week is $3200 a month before taxes. That is not enough.
Second, YOU may have insurance, but since it's under your parents, your baby will not be covered AT ALL. Already been through this when I was pregnant (miscarried and lost a job).
Well, now I'm super stressed about money, lol. I make around 17 an hour and DH makes around 22 an hour, and we're comfortable. Never worried on paying bills and have extra income. Maybe we're lucky? I'm gonna go freak out on my husband now...
Me: 28, DH: 28 Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007 Married: July 2013 Began TTC: June 2015
Well, now I'm super stressed about money, lol. I make around 17 an hour and DH makes around 22 an hour, and we're comfortable. Never worried on paying bills and have extra income. Maybe we're lucky? I'm gonna go freak out on my husband now...
Cost of living is different for everyone depending on where you live. Don't freak out if you are stable where you are.
Well, now I'm super stressed about money, lol. I make around 17 an hour and DH makes around 22 an hour, and we're comfortable. Never worried on paying bills and have extra income. Maybe we're lucky? I'm gonna go freak out on my husband now...
Lol it definitely depends on where you live. Big city, small city, etc. Also if you have things like student loans. My husband and I both have student loans and that definitely takes a toll every month. We make a good amount of money, but then when you pay mortgage, all the utilities, food, student loans, insurance it's barely enough left for a shitty bottle of wine.
Well, now I'm super stressed about money, lol. I make around 17 an hour and DH makes around 22 an hour, and we're comfortable. Never worried on paying bills and have extra income. Maybe we're lucky? I'm gonna go freak out on my husband now...
Lol it definitely depends on where you live. Big city, small city, etc. Also if you have things like student loans. My husband and I both have student loans and that definitely takes a toll every month. We make a good amount of money, but then when you pay mortgage, all the utilities, food, student loans, insurance it's barely enough left for a shitty bottle of wine.
I find that Yellowtail is almost always on sale :-bd
Well, now I'm super stressed about money, lol. I make around 17 an hour and DH makes around 22 an hour, and we're comfortable. Never worried on paying bills and have extra income. Maybe we're lucky? I'm gonna go freak out on my husband now...
Lol it definitely depends on where you live. Big city, small city, etc. Also if you have things like student loans. My husband and I both have student loans and that definitely takes a toll every month. We make a good amount of money, but then when you pay mortgage, all the utilities, food, student loans, insurance it's barely enough left for a shitty bottle of wine.
We have all of the above, but I think our mortgage is very affordable because of where we live. I'm going to breathe more lol
Me: 28, DH: 28 Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007 Married: July 2013 Began TTC: June 2015
Well, now I'm super stressed about money, lol. I make around 17 an hour and DH makes around 22 an hour, and we're comfortable. Never worried on paying bills and have extra income. Maybe we're lucky? I'm gonna go freak out on my husband now...
Lol sorry. Didn't mean to freak everyone out who is stable. We both only work part time right now so that makes a difference, but comparing it to what $20 an hour full time its about the same. We are lucky that dh paid ahead on his student loans for a couple of years so he doesn't have to pay right now. If he did we'd be screwed. I'm still in school so mine haven't hit yet.
I'm also 20 and i posted something similar a couple days ago. Listen to these ladies. I know i may not be in the position to give advise but My DH and I are on our own. And my DH makes around 3,000 per month and we have around 1,000 after bills. Right now we are doing well but because we are planning to leave the military I am inrolling into school and so is DH. What I'm trying to say is babies aren't cheap even though a lot of people have children without money, please make sure you or DH can support a home before bringing another person into the picture.
We make a good amount of money, but then when you pay mortgage, all the utilities, food, student loans, insurance it's barely enough left for a shitty bottle of wine.
That's why I buy it by the box. Bota and naked grape is very good and is about $16/box (where I live) which comes out to $4/bottle. Plus my liquor store gives me case price if I buy 3 boxes at a time!
I don't know what's up witness quote boxes. Sorry- on mobile
I'm also 20 and i posted something similar a couple days ago. Listen to these ladies. I know i may not be in the position to give advise but My DH and I are on our own. And my DH makes around 3,000 per month and we have around 1,000 after bills. Right now we are doing well but because we are planning to leave the military I am inrolling into school and so is DH. What I'm trying to say is babies aren't cheap even though a lot of people have children without money, please make sure you or DH can support a home before bringing another person into the picture.
That's was very logical of you. You're getting it.
I'm also 20 and i posted something similar a couple days ago. Listen to these ladies. I know i may not be in the position to give advise but My DH and I are on our own. And my DH makes around 3,000 per month and we have around 1,000 after bills. Right now we are doing well but because we are planning to leave the military I am inrolling into school and so is DH. What I'm trying to say is babies aren't cheap even though a lot of people have children without money, please make sure you or DH can support a home before bringing another person into the picture.
That's was very logical of you. You're getting it.
But girl, get a dictionary please.
Sorry my phone is acting weird I try to correct spelling and it changes them back.. Ugh it takes me off the page and when I go back and post it all the words I went back to correct aren't corrected.. And my auto correct is dumb.. ~X(
@pb&fluff Yeah, for now. Until I move out and have a job, then I will get my own plan.
I'm assuming you have no idea how much it costs to have a baby, even with insurance? How do your parents feel about your plan? Do they know? Are they down with paying for your prenatal care because you don't have a job and are actively TTC?
I would be irate. And you bet your ass I'd be making you pay every last dime for it. Especially if you have a section. Good luck with that.
And this has to be mud. Has to be.
"You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through. If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
Well, now I'm super stressed about money, lol. I make around 17 an hour and DH makes around 22 an hour, and we're comfortable. Never worried on paying bills and have extra income. Maybe we're lucky? I'm gonna go freak out on my husband now...
Lol it definitely depends on where you live. Big city, small city, etc. Also if you have things like student loans. My husband and I both have student loans and that definitely takes a toll every month. We make a good amount of money, but then when you pay mortgage, all the utilities, food, student loans, insurance it's barely enough left for a shitty bottle of wine.
We have all of the above, but I think our mortgage is very affordable because of where we live. I'm going to breathe more lol
It seriously makes such a difference! My salary and DH's are equivalent to two $20/hr full-time jobs. We have a mortgage, car payments, DH's student loans, pay for part-time daycare, and have a decent amount left over to put into savings each month. Cost of living is everything.
Me: 30 DH: 35
TTC #1 - Jan 2015
BFP on 5/13/15 DD born 1/24/16 TTC #2 - Jun 2017 BFP on 8/24/17
@Embuzz247 If I were to give the main reason reason I'd get torn apart even more.
So, I'll give one of the other reasons. My boyfriend and I have discussed it a lot. And we both know and feel that we are ready to have a child. I've always wanted to be a young mom. I'm ready for the responsibility of a baby, and so is my boyfriend.
Omg. Seriously. I'm not going to be nice or pretend to. Do you know the responsibility of being married, paying bills, having a job that supports a family?!? What the hell is it with girls trying to play house and get KTFU and then end up complaining how they are alone when they get left. Don't be stupid. For the love of God this exact crap is why I pay so much in taxes so I can take care of other people. Grow up. Get married. Get your own place. Get a life. Then get pregnant. Or go get KTFU away from this forum bc I just can't deal with idiots. [-X
OP may have said some ignorant things, but you just did as well. This is gross. People on assistance are not "idiots" who take all your money. You know why you pay taxes? You pay them so that your community doesn't become a ghetto. You pay them so schools, roads, and cops are well funded. You pay them so that your struggling neighbor can keep their head above water, gets a chance, and eventually gets their feet back on dry land. The vast majority of people in assistance have at LEAST one job, are not taking drugs, and work their butts off in hopes to get OFF assistance.
You'll see that 80% of people on assistance are OFF assistance in 5 years or less - 20% are on it for less than 7 months.
Please. >:/
Edited- ps. helping people that end up in bad situations is different than people that put themselves in bad situations. Like trying to start a family when you can't afford it. Period.
You know what, you COULD do it.You and your boyfriend could scrape by on twenty dollars an hour.And it would be scraping by, my husband and I make double that and we struggle some months.Life is hard! Just this month we've had to call a plumber, take the cat to the vet, and pay taxes we didn't expect.And we don't even have kids yet!But do you honestly want to just scrape by? Wouldn't you rather wait, and I don't mean six months, I mean like at least five years until you're married, own a house, can put money aside for your retirement, for your baby's college, for vacations, etc.Wouldn't you rather give your baby, and yourself the best life you could? Your baby deserves the best life and so do you. I know you said you're going to wait, I think that is a very wise decision.Just wait and enjoy the next few years of being young and in love and carefree.Life goes by fast, I promise you will be a mom soon enough.
@kmcconnell22 Lol you're welcome. Yeah, no. He's extremely sweet. I love him to death! He takes really good care of me (even though we're not yet living with each other). He always makes sure I'm fed when I'm hungry, and he'll buy me little things here and there. When I'm sick he takes care of me by making sure I'm resting and he'll make me soup. I don't have any shorts for this summer so in two weeks he's going to take me shopping at the local mall for my birthday so I can get some shorts so I don't die during the summer lol. So, yeah. He's very sweet. And he makes me laugh, so that's good
Love is more than just material things. While my husband was deployed I had to be independant. I got a job and lived off my money to save as much money as we could for when he came home. Independence is a good thing. Just to know you can do it. Also what if you get pregnant then move in with him and find out you don't like him like you thought you did. Dating is different then living with the person.
Re: Question: Is this implantation bleeding? (HELP!)
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Hey, at least I'm being honest.
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
In general, people don't marry or have kids with someone they just like....
My Ovulation Chart
We are still trying to figure out how to budget with a baby.
There's this thing called inflation OP. Google it.
I'm very glad you are putting TTC on hold. Have you thought about staying with the parents and trying school? Maybe community college? Maybe YOU can make a whooping $20/hr and you won't have to worry as much about finances when the time comes to have a baby. Just a thought, it's great to be able to support you and baby if something were to happen. You don't know what the next 5 or 10 years may bring.
I married the guy I dated at 20, but not until I was 25. And then we didn't have our first child until 4 years after that.
My Ovulation Chart
But I just wanted to say that was a horribly gross play-by-play of your period. Thanks for that I guess.
Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007
Married: July 2013
Began TTC: June 2015
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/58d258
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007
Married: July 2013
Began TTC: June 2015
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/58d258
Me: 32 Hubby: 31
Married 12/29/12
Started TTC July 2014
Miscarriage August 2014
Emmett born February 2016
Expecting Baby #2 in August 2017
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/544e80
But girl, get a dictionary please.
I would be irate. And you bet your ass I'd be making you pay every last dime for it. Especially if you have a section. Good luck with that.
And this has to be mud. Has to be.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
Eta: my funny that disappeared bc I used the wrong marks around it
Sweet.
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17
Please. >:/
Edited- ps. helping people that end up in bad situations is different than people that put themselves in bad situations. Like trying to start a family when you can't afford it. Period.
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
Edited because i over explain things.