And before you go off on me for my reply, I don't believe that all parents need to work. I love the idea of a SAHM or SAHD.
But, you obviously needed that job in order to be on your own. The fact that you have to live with your parents after losing the job means that BF doesn't make enough to support you both out on your own. So how do you suppose you're going to take care of the two of you AND a little one as well?
It is incredibly irresponsible, selfish, and ridiculous for you to want a child right now. Period.
@TheBorg7or9 My boyfriend and I are on the same page. I just worded that very wrongly. He still wants to try, just not now. He wants to wait until things cool down between my parents and I before trying again so everyone is happy, and we don't piss them off even more when they find out I am pregnant (when I do get pregnant).
I understand how being told stress can cause miscarriage. I apologize for saying that, I thought it was a true fact because that is what I have been taught.
And that does make sense with the hormones, and all. Thank you. Although, would you advise me to take a pregnancy test just to be sure, or would you say to not even bother with it since I've bled?
@ecmb I do still live with my parents because I recently lost my job.
I don't want to be mean to you but I do really want you to take a step back and think about something.
I am sure having children one day is something that you have thought about since you were little, am I right? As women, most of us think and dream about one day becoming a mother even from a very early age. And it's no wonder, it's an amazing thing to carry a child and become a mother and an exciting thought at that.
Now, do you really want your first pregnancy and the experience that goes with it to be clouded by the fact that you still live with your parents and (according to your earlier post) there is some tension in the household? Wouldn't you rather live with your SO who you are trying to conceive a baby with? Wouldn't you rather be employed and know that you can buy that baby everything he or she will need?
If you've recently lost your job you are already going through a rough patch now. TTC while unemployed, living with your parents and not having a support system seems like kicking yourself while you're down.
@kyleneum13@firebaby688 It's not like that. I do have insurance. I have some money save up. The plan would be for me to move in with my boyfriend. He has a good paying job, and he would be able to support both me and a baby. In fact, he said when I do get pregnant he doesn't want me to work, and if I do, then he wants it to be very part time. I haven't moved in with BF yet because I'm still thinking on it. Well, not anymore. I made my decision yesterday that once I get a new job I will be moving out of my parents and living with BF. He's offered for me to move in with him several times, and he's even told me that he really wants me to. I was just a little scared, but I'm planning on moving in with him in the near future.
@kyleneum13@firebaby688 It's not like that. I do have insurance. I have some money save up. The plan would be for me to move in with my boyfriend. He has a good paying job, and he would be able to support both me and a baby. In fact, he said when I do get pregnant he doesn't want me to work, and if I do, then he wants it to be very part time. I haven't moved in with BF yet because I'm still thinking on it. Well, not anymore. I made my decision yesterday that once I get a new job I will be moving out of my parents and living with BF. He's offered for me to move in with him several times, and he's even told me that he really wants me to. I was just a little scared, but I'm planning on moving in with him in the near future.
You aren't completely sure about moving in with him, but you want a CHILD with him?! Am I going flipping crazy here?!
@kyleneum13@firebaby688 It's not like that. I do have insurance. I have some money save up. The plan would be for me to move in with my boyfriend. He has a good paying job, and he would be able to support both me and a baby. In fact, he said when I do get pregnant he doesn't want me to work, and if I do, then he wants it to be very part time. I haven't moved in with BF yet because I'm still thinking on it. Well, not anymore. I made my decision yesterday that once I get a new job I will be moving out of my parents and living with BF. He's offered for me to move in with him several times, and he's even told me that he really wants me to. I was just a little scared, but I'm planning on moving in with him in the near future.
@kyleneum13@firebaby688 It's not like that. I do have insurance. I have some money save up. The plan would be for me to move in with my boyfriend. He has a good paying job, and he would be able to support both me and a baby. In fact, he said when I do get pregnant he doesn't want me to work, and if I do, then he wants it to be very part time. I haven't moved in with BF yet because I'm still thinking on it. Well, not anymore. I made my decision yesterday that once I get a new job I will be moving out of my parents and living with BF. He's offered for me to move in with him several times, and he's even told me that he really wants me to. I was just a little scared, but I'm planning on moving in with him in the near future.
You aren't completely sure about moving in with him, but you want a CHILD with him?! Am I going flipping crazy here?!
Also, what's up with "In fact, he said when I do get pregnant he doesn't want me to work, and if I do, then he wants it to be very part time."
Don't let the dude tell you what you can and can't do. He's not your master.
@ecmb I'm moving in with my SO in the near future. I'm actually going to discuss it with him today. He's asked me to move in with him, and told me (yesterday, actually, and several other times) that he wants me to move in with him. He has very good paying, stable job. He doesn't want me to work when I'm pregnant (or work very part time if I insist). We've discussed it, and looked at finances and everything, and he is able to support both me and a baby. The reason I want a job is to have something to do to keep my day productive until I get pregnant or give birth to my first child.
OP, go back and just read what you're writing (without the responses). You don't even know what you truly want!!!!!!!! Take a deep breath, a step back and give TTC six months off. Go look for a job in the mean time and really think about bringing another life into this world that your can't "take back".
@Embuzz247 I'm trying. They're coming in too fast. While I'm responding to the latest reply 3-5 other responses come in. Trust me, I'm trying my hardest to keep up.
This isn't real. It can't be. The OP is literally hitting every single point that everyone has been complaining about all week. I'm guessing it's an AE, probably the 18 year old from the other day.
@Embuzz247 I'm trying. They're coming in too fast. While I'm responding to the latest reply 3-5 other responses come in. Trust me, I'm trying my hardest to keep up.
Then take a break from responding and read the responses that are already here so that you can see how ridiculous all this sounds to us.
@Embuzz247@kyleneum13 I am moving in with him. In the near future. Maybe in a few weeks. I need to pack all my stuff and get a job first. And then I will move in with him.
shishiblossom said:@TheBorg7or9 My boyfriend and I are on the same page. I just worded that very wrongly. He still wants to try, just not now. He wants to wait until things cool down between my parents and I before trying again so everyone is happy, and we don't piss them off even more when they find out I am pregnant (when I do get pregnant).
I understand how being told stress can cause miscarriage. I apologize for saying that, I thought it was a true fact because that is what I have been taught.
And that does make sense with the hormones, and all. Thank you. Although, would you advise me to take a pregnancy test just to be sure, or would you say to not even bother with it since I've bled?
SInce you have only been off the pill for 2 weeks, the chances are nil that you are pregnant right now. But it's possible that you could have conceived, but not yet implanted. It takes at least 7-14 days from your last pill (and maybe even many more days) to ovulate. When you ovulate, there is a 20% change that the egg could be fertilized if you had sex within the five days before ovulation. If the egg is fertilized, it takes 7-10 days to travel down the fallopian tubes, implant and start producing HCG (the hormone that causes pregnancy symptoms and causes a positive home test). So, the answer is, yes you can take a test if it will ease your mind, but the chances are very small that you are pregnant.
Since you want to get back on the pill, you should ask your OB about whether you need to wait for your next period and use a back up method.
It's great to see that you have some money saved up. Did you know that even with insurance, a birth at the hospital costs several thousand dollars? I personally had to pay about $3,000 after the birth of both my babies even though I had insurance.
It's also nice that your bf really wants to support you and live with you. However, it is really smart to have a back up plan. You should not rely on a man to provide for you. You should be able to provide for yourself and your family, just in case it doesn't work out with your bf. Everyone (young or old) should be able to do this. That's why it's so important to get an education and career started before you have children. You don't want to be dependent on someone else. He could leave you. You could decide you want to leave him. He could be injured on the job. He might lose his job or face cutbacks on his salary. I tell you, I am 38 and my husband and I own a house. We have well-paying jobs, but something is always coming up. In the last year, we had to spend tons of money when the brakes on our car went out, the air conditioning went out in July, we had two washing machines break, the dog had to have surgery, I had to have physical therapy. Whatever amount of money you think you need to raise a child -- you are probably way off...
nlwz123 Let me reword that. My boyfriend said that if I want, I can work. If I don't want to, I don't have to. He would prefer I didn't, but it's up to me. And if I do decide to work, then he'd prefer I work part time, but if I decide I want to work full-time then I can. It's all up to me. He just prefers I stay home and rest, and take care of the house and myself.
@heawilliams Ok, I will take your advice. Thank you for the advice. I see where it can be helpful. It'll give me time to get a job, settle in with my boyfriend, and really get ready before TTC. Thanks again for your advice.
@walbs I'm 20. And I'm very new to this website. I've never used it before. I made an account last week on Thursday or Friday (can't remember which day) because my boyfriend and I decided to TTC, and I thought this site could be useful.
shishiblossom said:@walbs I'm 20. And I'm very new to this website. I've never used it before. I made an account last week on Thursday or Friday (can't remember which day) because my boyfriend and I decided to TTC, and I thought this site could be useful.
OP, everything about what you have described, if true, is a DISASTER waiting to happen. You are too young and too unstable (financially, emotionally, developmentally) to be making this REALLY big decision.
nlwz123 Let me reword that. My boyfriend said that if I want, I can work. If I don't want to, I don't have to. He would prefer I didn't, but it's up to me. And if I do decide to work, then he'd prefer I work part time, but if I decide I want to work full-time then I can. It's all up to me. He just prefers I stay home and rest, and take care of the house and myself.
So. Assuming he isn't controlling and abusive, have you two done any kind of financial planning? Cause I call bull that a 22 year old has a job that can support himself, another adult and a child.
And even if you can, why not wait a little bit till you're settled living with him and have a better idea as to what you want. Cause right now, you don't sound like you know what you want. You sound like you THINK you know what you want.
Usually thats okay, but nothing about your current situation is good for intentionally bringing a child into the world. This isn't a bad hair style decision that will grow out. This is permenant.
@heawilliams Ok, I will take your advice. Thank you for the advice. I see where it can be helpful. It'll give me time to get a job, settle in with my boyfriend, and really get ready before TTC. Thanks again for your advice.
@wassuphoes He's not controlling or abusive. If he was I would've left him a long time ago. He's a certified waste water treatment operator. Or something along those lines.... He's a water guy. He's stable in his job. He's got some money saved up for hospital bills, accidents, etc. We looked at the finances. We can afford it. We'd be able to get by. We just wouldn't be able to splurge and buy a playground or something big for a kid. But we'd definitely be able to afford toys, clothes, food, diapers, etc.
I understand though. Maybe it is best to just wait.
@mrsespigreen Yeah. I'm going to wait. I haven't bee off my pills too long, so I can still catch up on them. And I know how to. It explains in the little booklet, and my OB talked to me about it when he prescribed the pills.
I'm going to wait until I have a job, and I'm living with my BF.
@mamaburdin2010 I'm going to wait. And if/when I become pregnant I will be pregnant, happy, and I will discuss it with my BF and we will figure out the steps we need to take to be able to provide well for our child, and we'll go from there.
Ladies and gentleman - we have a winner!!! Best of luck on your journey. Glad to hear you are considering your future children's welfare above your own wants.
Re: Question: Is this implantation bleeding? (HELP!)
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
My boyfriend and I are on the same page. I just worded that very wrongly. He still wants to try, just not now. He wants to wait until things cool down between my parents and I before trying again so everyone is happy, and we don't piss them off even more when they find out I am pregnant (when I do get pregnant).
I understand how being told stress can cause miscarriage. I apologize for saying that, I thought it was a true fact because that is what I have been taught.
And that does make sense with the hormones, and all. Thank you. Although, would you advise me to take a pregnancy test just to be sure, or would you say to not even bother with it since I've bled?
I worded that wrong. My boyfriend does want to still try. He just wants to wait until things cool down between me and my parents first.
I don't want to be mean to you but I do really want you to take a step back and think about something.
I am sure having children one day is something that you have thought about since you were little, am I right? As women, most of us think and dream about one day becoming a mother even from a very early age. And it's no wonder, it's an amazing thing to carry a child and become a mother and an exciting thought at that.
Now, do you really want your first pregnancy and the experience that goes with it to be clouded by the fact that you still live with your parents and (according to your earlier post) there is some tension in the household? Wouldn't you rather live with your SO who you are trying to conceive a baby with? Wouldn't you rather be employed and know that you can buy that baby everything he or she will need?
If you've recently lost your job you are already going through a rough patch now. TTC while unemployed, living with your parents and not having a support system seems like kicking yourself while you're down.
Me: 32 Hubby: 31
Married 12/29/12
Started TTC July 2014
Miscarriage August 2014
Emmett born February 2016
Expecting Baby #2 in August 2017
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/544e80
It's not like that. I do have insurance. I have some money save up. The plan would be for me to move in with my boyfriend. He has a good paying job, and he would be able to support both me and a baby. In fact, he said when I do get pregnant he doesn't want me to work, and if I do, then he wants it to be very part time. I haven't moved in with BF yet because I'm still thinking on it. Well, not anymore. I made my decision yesterday that once I get a new job I will be moving out of my parents and living with BF. He's offered for me to move in with him several times, and he's even told me that he really wants me to. I was just a little scared, but I'm planning on moving in with him in the near future.
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
You aren't completely sure about moving in with him, but you want a CHILD with him?! Am I going flipping crazy here?!
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
I'm moving in with my SO in the near future. I'm actually going to discuss it with him today. He's asked me to move in with him, and told me (yesterday, actually, and several other times) that he wants me to move in with him. He has very good paying, stable job. He doesn't want me to work when I'm pregnant (or work very part time if I insist). We've discussed it, and looked at finances and everything, and he is able to support both me and a baby. The reason I want a job is to have something to do to keep my day productive until I get pregnant or give birth to my first child.
I'm trying. They're coming in too fast. While I'm responding to the latest reply 3-5 other responses come in. Trust me, I'm trying my hardest to keep up.
Jags out.
I am moving in with him. In the near future. Maybe in a few weeks. I need to pack all my stuff and get a job first. And then I will move in with him.
He's 22
My boyfriend and I are on the same page. I just worded that very wrongly. He still wants to try, just not now. He wants to wait until things cool down between my parents and I before trying again so everyone is happy, and we don't piss them off even more when they find out I am pregnant (when I do get pregnant).
I understand how being told stress can cause miscarriage. I apologize for saying that, I thought it was a true fact because that is what I have been taught.
And that does make sense with the hormones, and all. Thank you. Although, would you advise me to take a pregnancy test just to be sure, or would you say to not even bother with it since I've bled?
SInce you have only been off the pill for 2 weeks, the chances are nil that you are pregnant right now. But it's possible that you could have conceived, but not yet implanted. It takes at least 7-14 days from your last pill (and maybe even many more days) to ovulate. When you ovulate, there is a 20% change that the egg could be fertilized if you had sex within the five days before ovulation. If the egg is fertilized, it takes 7-10 days to travel down the fallopian tubes, implant and start producing HCG (the hormone that causes pregnancy symptoms and causes a positive home test). So, the answer is, yes you can take a test if it will ease your mind, but the chances are very small that you are pregnant.
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
Let me reword that.
My boyfriend said that if I want, I can work. If I don't want to, I don't have to. He would prefer I didn't, but it's up to me. And if I do decide to work, then he'd prefer I work part time, but if I decide I want to work full-time then I can. It's all up to me. He just prefers I stay home and rest, and take care of the house and myself.
Ok, I will take your advice. Thank you for the advice. I see where it can be helpful. It'll give me time to get a job, settle in with my boyfriend, and really get ready before TTC. Thanks again for your advice.
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
I'm 20. And I'm very new to this website. I've never used it before. I made an account last week on Thursday or Friday (can't remember which day) because my boyfriend and I decided to TTC, and I thought this site could be useful.
I'm 20. And I'm very new to this website. I've never used it before. I made an account last week on Thursday or Friday (can't remember which day) because my boyfriend and I decided to TTC, and I thought this site could be useful.
OP, everything about what you have described, if true, is a DISASTER waiting to happen. You are too young and too unstable (financially, emotionally, developmentally) to be making this REALLY big decision.
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
My Ovulation Chart
Join me ladies!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
He's not controlling or abusive. If he was I would've left him a long time ago. He's a certified waste water treatment operator. Or something along those lines.... He's a water guy. He's stable in his job. He's got some money saved up for hospital bills, accidents, etc. We looked at the finances. We can afford it. We'd be able to get by. We just wouldn't be able to splurge and buy a playground or something big for a kid. But we'd definitely be able to afford toys, clothes, food, diapers, etc.
I understand though. Maybe it is best to just wait.
Yeah. I'm going to wait. I haven't bee off my pills too long, so I can still catch up on them. And I know how to. It explains in the little booklet, and my OB talked to me about it when he prescribed the pills.
I'm going to wait until I have a job, and I'm living with my BF.
I'm going to wait. And if/when I become pregnant I will be pregnant, happy, and I will discuss it with my BF and we will figure out the steps we need to take to be able to provide well for our child, and we'll go from there.
Thank you.