- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
November 2015 Moms
thegingeravenger
member
WWYD- BFing in public
thegingeravenger
member
Hello all! I saw something today that made me wonder what you ladies have done/will do when in comes to breast feeding in public.
To start with, I have almost no issues with it. I don't think it should be taboo to breast feed in public. Now, story time. My boyfriend and I went to Disney and hitched a ride to another area on an extremely crowded Disney bus. This woman near us has an infant and a todder with her husband. She proceeds to whip her boob out and feed her infant, not trying to cover up at all, when there are other families with young kids nearby. I know this since I turned a bit on the bus and saw the majority of this woman's left boob. Complete with two nearby boys under 10 staring at her.
So, in a situation like this what would you do if you were the one with the little one? I know I'd feed my LO, but I'd at least cover my chest from prying eyes. Or am I being kind of prudish for thinking that exposing your boob in public transportation is a little much?
Edit to add my comment that's in the thread:
Thanks for all the input ladies! I was just curious what everyone else thought and what you plan on doing/have done before. I *plan* on covering just for my personal comfort level, but if kiddo doesn't like it I don't see myself having any issue whipping a boob out. I think what really got me was the two younger boys staring at her rather than the actual act of breast feeding itself. In a hypothetical perfect world, I would have no issues with a son of mine seeing someone breast feed. I'd just rather it be with someone we know in a controlled situation rather than a stranger on public transportation. But, that would be a perfect world so moot point. I'll be crossing all these bridges when I get to them.
Thanks for all the input!
To start with, I have almost no issues with it. I don't think it should be taboo to breast feed in public. Now, story time. My boyfriend and I went to Disney and hitched a ride to another area on an extremely crowded Disney bus. This woman near us has an infant and a todder with her husband. She proceeds to whip her boob out and feed her infant, not trying to cover up at all, when there are other families with young kids nearby. I know this since I turned a bit on the bus and saw the majority of this woman's left boob. Complete with two nearby boys under 10 staring at her.
So, in a situation like this what would you do if you were the one with the little one? I know I'd feed my LO, but I'd at least cover my chest from prying eyes. Or am I being kind of prudish for thinking that exposing your boob in public transportation is a little much?
Edit to add my comment that's in the thread:
Thanks for all the input ladies! I was just curious what everyone else thought and what you plan on doing/have done before. I *plan* on covering just for my personal comfort level, but if kiddo doesn't like it I don't see myself having any issue whipping a boob out. I think what really got me was the two younger boys staring at her rather than the actual act of breast feeding itself. In a hypothetical perfect world, I would have no issues with a son of mine seeing someone breast feed. I'd just rather it be with someone we know in a controlled situation rather than a stranger on public transportation. But, that would be a perfect world so moot point. I'll be crossing all these bridges when I get to them.
Thanks for all the input!
LFAF October Siggy Challenge
**YCSWU October Siggy Challenge**
Re: WWYD- BFing in public
I would wear a nursing tank and a shirt, pull the shirt up and the tank down. You'd have to look close to see boob.
But to me no woman should be judged for feeding her baby. Ever.
BFing needs to be so normalized so people don't even bat an eye when a women uses her body for something it's made to do.
And I would rather my kids know breasts are for feeding and not just sexy.
With that said I'm a huge baseball fan and once watched a woman behind home plate at a playoff game (so nationally televised) whip out and start feeding without a cover. Props to her.
If I were with my son and he were older, I would use the situation of seeing a nursing mom to open up a conversation.
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
Really it is the most natural thing so in the case of feeding vs potentially offending someone my baby's well being will always come first so I'd whip it out and wouldn't care if you did either.
You should join the group "you can't sit with us" here on tb and ask your question there as well!
I feel like you have the right to feel surprised by it and taken off guard. The first time I saw someone whip out their boob before I had a kid I wasn't offended but more like "oh wow there's a boob" and was surprised more than anything but if you feel more comfortable covering up by all means go for it.
[spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow
BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010
BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)
3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!
Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500
First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat
LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!
TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015
Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015
Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270
First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.
JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.
TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]
I'm of the opinion that if it makes someone else uncomfortable then they should remove themselves. I had the unique opportunity to bf in front of my nieces who had never seen a baby being fed that way and answer some questions for them. My SIL was very supportive and welcomed the teaching moment for her girls (ages 5 and 8).
We have a play cafe near us that we go to a lot and it wasn't uncommon to have 4-5 nursing moms all there at once! With the mini baby boom that's happening in our area it's so common to see women breastfeeding that no one bats an eye here. I breastfed in a busy park, on the grass, during a huge community celebration and didn't catch anyone doing a double take.
My favorite was when my friends 3 year old son sat on a couch between his mom and I while we were both nursing and he puts his baby doll up his shirt and just sits there quietly breastfeeding his doll!
If it's normalized then there's no problem! My 23 year old brother was uncomfortable at first but after a few months he wouldn't even notice and Would sit next to me on the couch or wherever and continue like nothing was happening. (That was a win for me because at first he was mortified at the idea of seeing his sisters boob!)
Just be discrete if you can and feed your baby! Your little one has the right to eat just as much as anyone else does.
My daughter refused the bottle completely. The only way I could feed her was to breastfeed directly. At first it was easy to be discrete about it but as she started getting bigger it got increasingly difficult to hide the top half of my breast. I live in Hawaii so layering is not really an option if you want to be outside and comfortable. The second she figured out she could rip down the cover... She went for it EVERY TIME. And if I prevented her from doing it, she would scream. The looks you get from having a screaming child while trying to cover and nurse are waaaaayyyyy worse and in excess compared to the side looks you get from just having a boob out without any nipple showing - because that's in your kids mouth. So, after about a week or two of fighting her I eventually gave up on trying to cover her while nursing. I refuse to go into a bathroom or some other dark, dingy, dirty corner simply because people feel uncomfortable about the fact that my daughter needs to nurse. I don't ask them to eat there, why should my daughter? I don't glare at people smacking their gum or chewing with their mouths open even though it is incredibly rude and disgusting. I don't ask people eating really disgusting unhealthy food in front of my daughter to hide it away because it might influence her so I have stopped feeling guilty about nursing in public. It's natural. Far more natural than the things other people choose to do in public that are far more detremental to our children - smoking, littering, etc. I actually find it to be less invasive to those around me if I just nurse right away. It's much easier to change the direction of your gaze than to block out a screaming baby.
But hey, I grew up in Africa. We see breasts a little differently. Their ability to nuture and sustain life outweighs their ability to cause an erection.
And well, as for those 10 year olds... Would you rather they stare at a woman breastfeeding (something that needs to become more normalized) or see breasts as a purely sexual organ? A pubescent boy can become arosed from the simplest thing. Things we do not even consider to be sexual. You can't shelter them forever and even though it is very uncomfortable to think about, how we respond to things like another woman breastfeeding an infant or otherwise can seriously impact their view of woman and parenting in general. If I had a boy (which, hey, this next one could very well be) I would want him growing up with an appreciation for all aspects of a woman's body - and that of a mans too if that's his thing. Our bodies transcend sex. We grow life and sustain it and that is beautiful. We should celebrate that woman for being brave enough to fullfill the needs of her infant rather than pandering to to feelings of those around her.
I felt similar to most of you before I had my daughter but I chose to follow W
I felt similar to most of you before I had my daughter but I chose to follow WHO's recommendation to breastfeed for the first 2 years and I realized you can't always be so PC. Sh*t happens and you just have to roll with it.
No seriously, i think it's important to remember what's actually going on. You're feeding a human and its natural. I hope one day it's more normalised and women don't have to think or worry about other people.
That being said, I didn't grow up in this culture, and right now I feel uncomfortable with the thought of BFing in public with no cover. However, this is my first so I've never experienced it before and I may change my mind. As a sidenote, my husband and I work as ministers here and so when we are in church if my baby is hungry I'll probably go in the back or in the hall and use a cover, but we'll see. It just feels like the more respectful choice to me (right now). Again, I'm pregnant with my first right now and growing up usually only saw women BF with a cover if they were in public, so what I do and don't feel comfortable could definitely change in the coming months. If i do use a cover, it will be because of my own comfort and privacy preferences, not because someone will shame me into something I don't feel great about.
I had a friend who had a cover that had something that went around her neck and held the top of the blanket away from her body so that she and her baby could see each other but no one else could see unless they came and stood above her and looked in - anyone know where to get one of those? It seems potentially useful.
Thanks for all the input!
I don't have a problem with it. I rather them do it in public than a nasty bathroom. I have taught my daughter that the mommy is feeding the baby and turned her attention away.
The only ONE time I ever felt uncomfortable about it is when a young waitress looked at me funny as I fed my son in a restaurant. And really, idk if it was because she disapproved or didn't understand what I was doing! LOL!