Community› The Bump Month Clubs› September 2015 Moms
September 2015 Moms
New Discussion

DH doesn't wanna have sex anymore

lizsimmslizsimms member
in September 2015 Moms
He claims it's the thought of his baby being in there, but I'm hardly showing and super needy (for lack of a better term). I want it all the time and he gets so offended when I try. Anyone else dealing w something similar? He says I don't understand because I'm not a man... :((
Report Reply to Post
«1

Re: DH doesn't wanna have sex anymore

  • Loading the player...
  • mrscate88mrscate88 member
    I'm sorry, that's tough. I'm hardly showing either; hubby and I are still going strong BUT if I mention the baby being in there he gets a little uncomfortable and it's obvious.

    I hope this isn't offensive to anyone, but my best advice would be to get his mind off baby and being a daddy, and maybe wear a sexy shirt that covers your belly and keep it on during the act, so he isn't looking at a belly with his baby swimming in it ;-)

    Just a thought. Good luck mama! I'm sure after a little dry spell, he won't be too worried about sex while you're pregnant haha, so you might just have to wait it out.

    Hang in there!
    Report Reply
  • sphillips18sphillips18 member
    I told my hubby I was gonna beat him up if he doesn't wanna have sex with me because he thinks it might hurt the baby lmao! So he gave in. Sorry you're dealing with that. I know how frustrating it is!!
    Report Reply
  • jessbruxanovajessbruxanova member
    I feel your pain! My SO never wants to anymore. He's never in the mood and i find it hurtful sometimes. Hopefully things change for us soon! :(
    Report Reply
  • mamamegz14mamamegz14 member
    Me too ladies:( he says a lot of men dont like doing it.
    I want it more than ever...but doesnt seem to matter.
    Report Reply
  • wilcoxevwilcoxev member
    My dh is the same. The first trimester he wanted to but I was exhausted and had constant nausea. Now I am feeling better and would be into it but now that I'm showing I think it freaks him out cause it's a constant reminder that there's a baby in there. I'm hopeful that he'll get over it with time. We have 4.5 more months lol.
    Report Reply
  • ash102211ash102211 member
    edited April 2015
    I'm right there with you! My husband hasn't wanted sex since we found out I was pregnant. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby or doesn't want to think about he or she moving in there while we are in the "act". I've kinda just let it go...not worth the fight or rejection.
    Report Reply
  • excited2bmommy09excited2bmommy09 member
    I'm sorry to hear this! I can understand your frustration! I've heard this is really common and guys get weird about squishing baby or just having it there during sex. This doesn't seem to bother my SO at all so I don't really have any ideas for solutions. I would think eventually he would get over it and the horniness would take over the idea of baby being there!
    image
    Report Reply
  • nickc2cutenickc2cute member
    I'm with you as well although my sex life with him had never been great.

    I second the silver bullet
    Report Reply
  • lopezrokelopezroke member
    ash102211 said:

    I'm right there with you! My husband hasn't wanted sex since we found out I was pregnant. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby or doesn't want to think about he or she moving in there while we are in the "act". I've kinda just let it go...not worth the fight or rejection.

    Yup same here. My husband hasnt wanted it since we found out i was pregnant. I have talked to him about it, read his info on how its ok and all that but things didnt change. Its almost like i get sympathy sex because i hounded him. The rejection was getting me so depressed i stopped insisting. And honestly try not to think about it too much and though its not the same i do my own thing when i need to and hes at work.
    Report Reply
  • kvilla4kvilla4 member
    Hubby !!! Never wants to have sex he says his tired blah blah blah
    I t hurts my feels but I can't rape him -___-
    Report Reply
  • lizsimmslizsimms member
    @mrscaterosales thank you!
    I tried the t shirt thing yesterday and got no play
    Report Reply
  • mrscate88mrscate88 member
    lizsimms said:

    @mrscaterosales thank you!
    I tried the t shirt thing yesterday and got no play

    Awe man, I was sure that one would work! I'm sorry, hopefully he'll come around
    Report Reply
  • lizsimmslizsimms member
    lopezroke said:

    ash102211 said:

    I'm right there with you! My husband hasn't wanted sex since we found out I was pregnant. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby or doesn't want to think about he or she moving in there while we are in the "act". I've kinda just let it go...not worth the fight or rejection.

    Yup same here. My husband hasnt wanted it since we found out i was pregnant. I have talked to him about it, read his info on how its ok and all that but things didnt change. Its almost like i get sympathy sex because i hounded him. The rejection was getting me so depressed i stopped insisting. And honestly try not to think about it too much and though its not the same i do my own thing when i need to and hes at work.
    @lopezroke that's me atm! I'm getting so depressed... I guess we just have to keep reminding ourselves it's not us, it's them
    Report Reply
  • cjstats87cjstats87 member
    ash102211 said:

    I'm right there with you! My husband hasn't wanted sex since we found out I was pregnant. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby or doesn't want to think about he or she moving in there while we are in the "act". I've kinda just let it go...not worth the fight or rejection.

    This makes me giggle! My babies actually LOVED the movements of it! We would do it when our first and second would be moving like crazy (late in pregnancy) to get them to go to sleep so I could sleep! Lol!
    Report Reply
  • mrseh5mrseh5 member
    My DH is the exact same, at 17 weeks we had our first session last night, since finding out I was pregnant. Hope to keep it up now lol
    Report Reply
  • mdclarkemdclarke member
    lopezroke said:

    ash102211 said:

    I'm right there with you! My husband hasn't wanted sex since we found out I was pregnant. He says he doesn't want to hurt the baby or doesn't want to think about he or she moving in there while we are in the "act". I've kinda just let it go...not worth the fight or rejection.

    Yup same here. My husband hasnt wanted it since we found out i was pregnant. I have talked to him about it, read his info on how its ok and all that but things didnt change. Its almost like i get sympathy sex because i hounded him. The rejection was getting me so depressed i stopped insisting. And honestly try not to think about it too much and though its not the same i do my own thing when i need to and hes at work.
    Haha this is totally me and DH too!! He doesn't see pregnancy as "sexual"...which is hard since if the wind blows me the right way I'm ready to pounce!

    A few more months through a whiny hot summer with no a/c I will have to try that line @jlcouey! Get that baby out! Lol :D
    Report Reply
  • verveine407verveine407 member
    DH was a little squeemish the first time around during weeks 6-12 and I remember at some point in 2nd trimester waking him up very uhm, suggestively. Several weeks of dry spell and a warm, enthusiastic wife did the trick, lol. After that it was our normal intimacy pace. This time around DH was keeping a countdown calendar to the start of my second trimester. Which makes me think he was more worried about jostling my already nauseous tummy more than anything.

    Seeing you happy and well after intimacy will do even the most reluctant guy a world of good. Such a catch-22 if they won't play along to get to that point!

    Hang in there!
    Report Reply
  • ktbkittenktbkitten member
    I second the waking up thing. You might have to be more assertive about it. I don't see anything weird with having sex while pregnant and thank god hubby doesn't either. Talking to him and showing him that it isn't harmful might help. 
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/08S2m4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • conchispititaconchispitita member
    If it's been a while it shouldn't be too hard to get him to change his mind. Have fun seducing him too, get creative and try new things, he's going to crack eventually!
    Report Reply
  • ABombard12ABombard12 member
    SORRY IF TMI---We haven't had a lot of sex since I started showing more... and DH says that he isn't weirded out... but I can tell. In the beginning he already laid the law that he is not finishing (for lack of better term) in there because he is not doing that on his child... so once that comment came out I knew he was thinking about the baby in there all the time...which isn't helping. And now.. since we now found out we are having a boy and he was able to see all the fingers, toes, and baby move on the screen and me feeling more movements... ooohh I am just so tired... ya.. YOUR TIRED??? I love him ha and I guess I understand a little bit.. but I keep telling him he is going to wish he got some in now because after LO comes it will be quite some time and I will be TOO TIRED. :) (hoping this weekend the trick mentioned above with a cute little outfit will help ;) )
    Report Reply
  • whitfi24whitfi24 member
    My SO hasn't wanted it since we found out and it's making me really sad. He tells me I'm beautiful, he loves me, it's not me. But he's always tired. Or he doesn't feel good. Or he's just not in the mood. It's just really starting to hurt - bad.
    Report Reply
  • GrowingapepperGrowingapepper member
    I'm sorry for everyone that isn't getting the loving they deserve :(
    I made it a point to tell my husband as soon as we found out that sex does not affect the baby and he better give it up! In the first half of the first trimester he didn't want to do it because I got pregnant with an IUD and all this scary stuff was happening. But then after everything calmed down and we knew baby was here to stay he didn't seem to have a problem with it. I hope when I get huge he doesn't get weirded out. Baby doesn't know what's going on!
    Report Reply
  • Taekarate1978Taekarate1978 member
    My hubby acts like pregnancy belly is a turn on! I'm tired and he can't get enough. I'm about ready to loan him out! Just kidding, I'm totally keeping him to myself...lol.
    Report Reply
  • Melzig76Melzig76 member
    Oh gosh, I wish, DH is a mad man. I told him the other day he was like a teenager!
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • MawmeeMawmee member
    Hmm. Just remember that after the baby! I hold grudges. Tightly.
    Report Reply
  • kvilla4kvilla4 member
    @whitfi24 Same here I didn't sleep in bed with him last night cause Iam just so hurt!!!
    Honestly feel since I got prego all the romance is gone


    He does everything for me but when it comes to having sex or cuddling while watching a movie it's gone it's like he can't touch me even tho he says Iam sexy he always tired always
    Report Reply
  • RachelsbabyRachelsbaby member
    I had the same issue too but he's coming around, I mentioned the baby is not going to be in there forever and that he better give it up. I tend to hold grudges... Ahahahahahaha
    Report Reply
  • booksandcleverness81booksandcleverness81 member
    I feel you, my hubby told me right from the start that he doesn't want to do it while I'm pregnant. He thinks guys that find pregnancy sexy are crazy, because it is the least attractive thing ever to him! He doesn't really mean that I'm not attractive, he tells me I'm beautiful all the time, he just doesn't find what's going on in my uterus to be sexy (which I can understand). I think for some guys the mental block about the baby being right there is tough to get over. I'm okay with it, but I feel bad for him! 
    Report Reply
  • kathleennoelkathleennoel member
    My husband frequently will stop us in the middle of the act to ask if it's okay and safe for the baby! It must always be on his mind. With a little reassurance that everything is okay, we can continue.
    Report Reply
  • nikkidavis421nikkidavis421 member
    DH and I don't have this issue but my sister and her hubby never once had sex both times that she was prego. I don't think it's anything against any of you ladies, just something the men have going on in their heads! Lol
    Report Reply
  • martrubymartruby member
    After I spotted after sex when I was about 14 weeks, my husband freaked out about having sex. When we would try, he wouldn't be able to "stay excited". I knew it was because he was paranoid about hurting me/the baby. We talked about it, I took him to the dr with me and had him hear from the dr himself that there was no problem with having sex. We are finally getting back into the swing of things, thank God! One thing that I think has helped is changing positions. If my belly is less visible (doggy style, side spooning), I find that he's able to "focus more. Just a tip. I hope things turn around for you!
    Report Reply
  • folc4evernadayfolc4evernaday member
    I'm sorry. It's a man thing. My last pregnancy after 24 weeks he cut me off. :( It was horrible. I told him he was torturing me. He told me he wasn't taking any chances of poking the baby or putting me into early labor. This time around he's more handsy and less worried. Just try to take care of the urge other ways. ;)
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • verveine407verveine407 member
    That is pretty funny and how great that you can laugh about it now. :-) Having a sense of humor about the sexy stuff helps! IMO unless there is some deeper issue everyone gets their groove back eventually. That isn't to belittle how much it hurts and how frustrating it is to crave your partner and be denied.
    Report Reply
  • conchispititaconchispitita member
    Um, make him work a little before going down, lest he get too used to it! @lopezroke , that is too funny. I warn him of the risks when he asks for it, luckily it's only come to gagging!
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"