Is it weird for NOT expecting others to buy things for baby?

anderl6 · April 2015

I'm expecting my first baby and wanted to reach out to see if anyone has any insight on my situation. Whenever I mention that I want to make something or buy something myself for this baby, I am met with surprising reactions. For example, I am currently crocheting a blanket for baby and when I told a friend, she said "Why would you want to do that? You know you are going to be given a ton of blankets!". I felt kind of deflated after that. Silly me, I was excited to make something special for my baby. My partner looked at me like I had two heads when I bought a couple outfits for baby. His response, "Aren't we going to get a bunch clothes from the shower?". I never want to expect that others will buy all the things we want/need for this baby. Also, I am excited about nesting and shopping for baby myself. Thoughts on this? Should I just ignore it and be grateful? Or are my feelings valid for wanting to buy or make things myself?

MamaMcBride · April 2015

Honestly we bought most everything for ourselves because shower goers (in our circle least) are largely only interested in buying frilly outfits, stuffed animals and other very impractical items. It didn't seem sensible to me to bank on friends of ours or our families to buy anything important or sensible when we could just buy it ourselves. In the end it paid off because the only sensible thing we got out of the shower was a Diaper Genie (and we ended up switching to cloth diapers early on so looool) and a ton of frilly outfits in size NB/0-3. I'd buy/make whatever the hell I wanted personally, a lot of well meaning people will buy you a ton of very cute and useless stuff- you know what is actually useful.

SantistevanMommie · April 2015

I would say go on and make that blanket for baby and buy a few outfits. I don't expect people to buy things for my baby but I know that family will be buying me a lot I'm also being gifted a lot of baby clothes from mamas that don't need the clothes anymore. So I'm trying not to buy any clothes bottles pacifiers or blankets until after the baby shower only because I know those things will be given to me. But if you see something cute you like grab it.

CaliforniaDream87 · April 2015

This was how I was as a FTM and especially now as a STM. We bought everything. When I got a shower it was just an over abundance. I just cannot ask people to finance my baby and if I get gifts I'm especially grateful but I always feel so strange. Everyone is different. But I totally understand! I also side eye people who *expect* others to supply the needs of their children. Flame away.

sjra1028 · April 2015

Go ahead and make and buy whatever you want! :-) You probably will get a ton of blankets, BUT you'll go through blankets like crazy so the more the better in my opinion. Like PP said, you'll get a lot of impractical gifts. You'll probably get a lot of stuff you don't need/want to return to the store.
I'm currently crocheting the blanket we'll wrap our lil girl in at the hospital. I think 3 people have told me they're making her "take home" blanket, but we'll be using the one I'm making. It's special to me and it's my choice. :-P
No one understands why I've made so much stuff, but I think it's part of nesting. You're giving your baby something you worked hard on. :-)

Saratiff · April 2015

I'm there with you. I bought a few outfits because I was excited and I bought my diaper bag because it was on sale. We just bought a house and will be moving soon which is why I have not bought any of the bigger ticket items. I will have a big shower and I have no idea what I will get/ if they will buy off the registry or not but my husband and I are having baby not my friends and family. It's our job to buy the things we need for her and everything else is bonus. I refuse to rely on others to finance my child and I will be grateful for any and all gifts we receive. People will buy us what they want if it's off our registry great if not great if we get all frilly clothes? Wonderful my kid will not be naked.

Hairdesignee6 · April 2015

I don't expect anything from anyone

rashelburne · April 2015

You're not alone! I know lots of people who made blankets or other gifts for their baby. I'm lousy at knitting so I made adorable wall letters for my first son and plan on doing the same again. As for clothes and other baby stuff, don't feel guilty about buying that either! You'll get clothes for all different sizes at the shower, but chances are it won't be enough. I also wouldn't rely on all of the big ticket items or "not fun to shop for" items to be purchased. Other than your parents and some very close family/friends most guests will probably pick items $50 and under. We bought things as we went along in order to keep it more affordable and it still left plenty on the registry. I actually found that the more practical the gift was, the less likely I was to receive it. Cute blankets, clothes, and patterned items are much more fun for guests to buy than a diaper pail and changing pad. My best friend had a large baby shower about 9 months ago and received less items from her registry than I did at my small shower 3 years ago.

sjgray11 · April 2015

I received a lot of blankets from my baby shower, but there is something special I feel when you make something. I love to crochet as well and have made several things for my little girl when she was born and I plan on doing the same thing with my son. We also bought a few outfits early on and was a good thing because we didn't end up with that much cloths from the baby shower.

Brodie and Chevelle · April 2015

I bought outfits and the bedding set that I wanted and I was told to stop buying things by my family. They said not to buy anything else for the baby. I know my family goes overboard but I didn't think that they would get me a ton of stuff. I'm still expecting to have to buy a lot once I have a shower but for now I've stopped buying things and just put it on my registry.

I don't have much time to make anything but I think it's great that you want to make things for your little one. I say make as many things as you want!

shellelub · April 2015

I have been the same way, especially when it comes to clothing for our baby girl! I am also a very picky person and know what I like so when I see something I love I just end up buying it. We live far from family so unsure of what our shower situation will be like anyways.

krasbury · April 2015

I made a baby blanket, too! I wish I could crochet or knit or something like that, though! I just made one with minky fabric that is blue on one side and yellow on the other.

And I've been buying cute outfits when I come across them for the baby. My husband doesn't mind one bit, but a few of our friends who have babies keep getting onto me about it! I bought the baby a cute little outfit I fell in love with and went to show my husband at work (because I was right next door) and his co-worker was like, "why are you buying clothes?! Buy diapers and wipes! No more clothes." And I just kind of stood there at a loss for words. Yes, we have been buying diapers and wipes when we go for our weekly grocery trip, but buying him clothes makes me happy, too. It's annoying!

ashleyo08 · April 2015

I feel the same way! The two big things I know will be purchased for us is the stroller and crib from my mother and his mother. My gut is telling me we need to purchase a dresser and rocking chair. Everyone and their mother has been telling me to wait until after my shower to purchase anything else. Some even told me not to purchase diapers/wipes cause they got so many at theirs but I do want to feel somewhat prepared and not rely on every one else. I say buy what you want and like when you see it! Go with your gut

I also like to make things so I will be doing more when the spring semester is over and I don't have homework to focus on. It's a good feeling to make something for you little one!

CanadaMom17 · April 2015

Leave the tags on your purchases/keep receipts and if you get a lot of unreturnables with no receipts at your showers you have the option of returning your purchases/doubles.

Perfect Sonnet · April 2015

I don't think that having a large shower/registry or expecting people to purchase things for said shower really says that you expect them to finance your baby. A lot of people have a large group of family and friends who want to throw them and a huge shower and buy them everything they need. They know this will happen so why double up and spend your money on things you will be receiving as gifts? When I go to a wedding or baby shower I want to buy something for my friend or family member to show how happy I am for their life event.

I personally didn't have a large shower or expectations to receive a lot, so I planned for and purchased most of the big ticket items I needed for my first daughter. But I completely understand why some people wouldn't do that as I did receive a lot more than I expected in random gifts.

I agree that it is kind of silly to get worked up over a blanket and some clothes. (In all seriousness though, by the time my daughter was born I had 567378 blankets. Most of which I never used.) Just evaluate your personal situation and go forward from there.

There is also nothing wrong with waiting until the last minute to buy a lot of things. Your baby doesn't really need that much when it is first born.

Ambermom043 · April 2015

Making something for your baby (like a blanket) helps you to grow more in love with your little baby, even though you can't see or hold him/her. It's sort of like bonding, and preparing your heart (full of love) for the baby. I say more power to you! Make things, buy things, all the while thinking about, getting excited and falling in love with baby! And who really cares if you have tons of blankies, it shouldn't stop you from making your own baby something special! It's your baby, and he or she will likely love it later!;p

bhargrave88 · April 2015

I made my daughters crib bedding before she was born and we still use it. Although I found a fabric I like better and am switching ... Lol. I decided I'd make it when we switched to a toddler bed. I'm making my DD2's bedding as well (outside of crib sheets.. I'm not attempting to even go that route lol!) . Already have the fabric and now a sewing machine, so just need to figure out how to get the thing to work right then I'm golden! Although, by the time I figure that thing out, I could have sewn the blanket by hand again lol. Oh well

point is, go for it momma!! People may look at you crazy, but you get the last laugh when they pay $200 for bedding that hardly gets used past the first year anyway..

daniellepanda · April 2015

I have had similar reactions from friends. I am the same way and do not expect anyone else to be buying my baby things. I keep getting the comments "stop buying stuff etc before you have your shower".... Ummm what?! We live on opposite coast from our families and this is our 2nd child I certainly do no expect a shower or for anyone to throw us one. I keep just going on with getting what I know we will need and buying the clothes I like

if somebody wants to get us a baby gift, that's great and very kind. But I don't expect or plan for anyone to get us those things and I'm happy to buy those things for my own baby.

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