Would love to have a baby shower.

ccgamercc · April 2015

So I'm 24 weeks along, expecting a girl

My husband and I are super excited! Trouble is we just moved. Can I host my own shower? Do people do that?

SantistevanMommie · April 2015

I don't see why not.

prairiedreams · April 2015

Sorry, considered a gift grab when the mom to be hosts her own shower. Besides just cause you moved does not mean family and friends will not host one- even if you have to travel to it.

bpwife&mama · April 2015

Eh- yea not so sure about hosting your own. People get weird about that. My mom threw me a shower with my first and I lived across the country. Those who wanted to buy something for the baby were gracious enough to ship it.

HarleenQuinz86 · April 2015

My mother in law was planning one for me ( her sons first baby) but now his sister is having her own health issues so it's probably either not gonna happen or it will fall on me and DH to put it together. If it falls to us I'm just going to have it become a bbq abs if people want to bring gifts great if not it's ok.

bbymartin15 · April 2015

I just moved from michigan to california and will be flying back to Michigan for the shower my sister is planning. We are asking if people do gifts that they mail them or do gift cards

pabeybaby · April 2015

I say if you wanna host your own, go for it. And if people complain about it, tell them they don't have to come.

CaliforniaDream87 · April 2015

Sure. Just don't get butthurt if people consider this idea tacky and/or are very negative about it.

I, would personally, never host my own shower. Never. To each their own.

ptelfra · April 2015

I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom

FaithOfAMustardSeed15 · April 2015

I dont think it's bad at all. I've always had my hand in the pot and this is baby number 3. My sisters and Mother in law alongside myself are throwing my shower and so far its going to be fabulous

GirlOnTheBeach · April 2015

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom

That's weird. No one in my Puerto Rican family plans their own and none of my Hispanic friends have either.

heath3er · April 2015

My sister and best friend are hosting the shower. They are super excited. I live in nc moved 8monthscago, we are headed home to florida on Memorial Day

mkillian27 · April 2015

For some reason I don't find it weird at all. I think you are entitled to have that experience regardless if you have someone throw it for you or you throw it yourself. Personally, I would rather just do it myself.

Saratiff · April 2015

Or the money you would spend to host a shower you just use that money to buy things for your baby? You are not entitled to a shower unfortunately. It is a gift. Host an after the baby bar-b-que or sip-n-see and people will bring gifts of they want

Seed0824 · April 2015

People will have opinions. You can do it but if you're worried about those opinions, here are a few other ideas. You could do a gender reveal if people don't know the sex yet. You could do a welcoming party after baby is born. You could throw the shower but put its hosted by a relative or friend so people don't know.

gulimz · April 2015

My inlaws are throwing me a huge Indian wedding like shower but basically I'm responsible for inviting all our non Indian guests which is kind of hosting your own lol

taylorharber1108 · April 2015

We have some friends hosting their own shower, I don't see what is wrong with the idea. They are having their shower at a local restaurant to make it easier on mom. I say go for it! That little girl is a reason to celebrate!

ptelfra · April 2015

GirlOnTheBeach said:

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
That's weird. No one in my Puerto Rican family plans their own and none of my Hispanic friends have either.

Dominicans all plan their own showers unless it's done as a surprise for them.. I know many people other than Dominicans too where the mom to be plan their own showers.

stow2009 · April 2015

I've been to a shower that was planned and hosted by the couple, and it was great! I don't know why people get offended by that (or do they?)- it's actually letting your friends off the hook from paying for a shower, while still doing what everyone wants you to do- have a shower! Go for it! I wouldn't think twice if I were invited.

SKLLH23 · April 2015

Instead of a shower, host a housewarming and invite your new neighbors and coworkers, etc. Perhaps when they get to know you, one of them will be inspired to host a shower for you. Or have a family member host the shower, but at your new home, and again invite the new neighbors. While I agree that a shower is not an entitlement, I also believe there's no harm in opening the door for someone else to be your gracious host/hostess.

morethancottoncandy2 · April 2015

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom

I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.

OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.

bankskm · April 2015

Absolutely! You know why!? Because you are an adult and I am assuming you are inviting other adults to your party. If they do not believe in the cause or find it "tacky" they won't come. This board spends way too much time stressing mommas out. Do what you want, there is not right/wrong only judgemental people who I wouldn't want to come to my party anyhow.

ptelfra · April 2015

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.

OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.

Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.

morethancottoncandy2 · April 2015

ptelfra said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.

OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.

Nope.

A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.

You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.

ptelfra · April 2015

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.

OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.

A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.

You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.

I did not say it is mandatory to buy the gifts or that you invite people only for the gifts. Planning your own shower isn't tacky sometimes people don't have someone who could plan it for them. In her case she just moved, there is nothing wrong with her planning it herself.

morethancottoncandy2 · April 2015

ptelfra said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.

OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.

A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.

You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.
I did not say it is mandatory to buy the gifts or that you invite people only for the gifts. Planning your own shower isn't tacky sometimes people don't have someone who could plan it for them. In her case she just moved, there is nothing wrong with her planning it herself.

Planning your own shower is pretty much the biggest breach of etiquette you can make when it comes to showers.

A shower is a gift in and of itself, not an entitlement. Not everyone gets one and if no one offers, it's unfortunate, but you don't get one.

ptelfra · April 2015

Sorry I can't even reply to her anymore people just think differently, but really there is nothing wrong at all with planning your own baby shower.

bpwife&mama · April 2015

ptelfra said:
Sorry I can't even reply to her anymore people just think differently, but really there is nothing wrong at all with planning your own baby shower.

I don't agree at all. Like the PP said, it's a gift in and of itself. How can you host a party in your own favor and ask people to bring gifts? Do you find that to be a bit selfish?

jemholo · April 2015

Agree with everyone who has said that planning your own shower is tacky. This is etiquette 101. A shower is not an entitlement, it is a gift that you are fortunate to have someone give you. The purpose of a shower is to (surprise!) "shower" the guest of honor with gifts. To throw your own shower is basically to say "I'm hosting this event so that you can all buy me lots of presents." It's entitled and gift grabby, and I'm not surprised that people seem to increasingly find it to be normal given that millennials are, on the whole, a very entitled bunch. I'm sure this will become more and more "normal" as more millennials get married and have kids, but that doesn't make it right.

For what it's worth, I ESPECIALLY wouldn't want to throw my own shower and invite new people in a new town. What a terrible first impression.

stow2009 · April 2015

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.

OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.

A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.

You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.

A registry is certainly not a list of items the parents intend to buy. At least it wasn't for us. Maybe you use the 10% discount to buy some stuff, but let's be honest with ourselves. You wouldn't make a registry if people weren't going to buy you things off of it. That would be like making a registry for your grocery shopping. I'm sorry, I'm not understanding all of this "people will be offended if you assume they will buy you a present" stuff. Of COURSE they want to buy you a present. We don't make a ton of $, and if my close friend is having a baby I will buy her a present off of her registry happily. We all know how this works, why make it so complicated by saying a registry isn't asking people to buy you things? That's exactly what a registry is.

morethancottoncandy2 · April 2015

stow2009 said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.

OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.

A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.

You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.
A registry is certainly not a list of items the parents intend to buy. At least it wasn't for us. Maybe you use the 10% discount to buy some stuff, but let's be honest with ourselves. You wouldn't make a registry if people weren't going to buy you things off of it. That would be like making a registry for your grocery shopping. I'm sorry, I'm not understanding all of this "people will be offended if you assume they will buy you a present" stuff. Of COURSE they want to buy you a present. We don't make a ton of $, and if my close friend is having a baby I will buy her a present off of her registry happily. We all know how this works, why make it so complicated by saying a registry isn't asking people to buy you things? That's exactly what a registry is.

That's exactly what a registry is. "Here are the items we intend to buy for our baby. If you need suggestions for a gift, here you go. Otherwise, buy what you like." I registered for my second DD. I obviously wasn't having a shower because it's a 2nd baby, but I wanted to create a list of things I needed and keep it organized. It wasn't public and I got a 10% off coupon.

stow2009 · April 2015

bankskm said:
Absolutely! You know why!? Because you are an adult and I am assuming you are inviting other adults to your party. If they do not believe in the cause or find it "tacky" they won't come. This board spends way too much time stressing mommas out. Do what you want, there is not right/wrong only judgemental people who I wouldn't want to come to my party anyhow.

Yes! This is right on.

morethancottoncandy2 · April 2015

stow2009 said:

bankskm said:
Absolutely! You know why!? Because you are an adult and I am assuming you are inviting other adults to your party. If they do not believe in the cause or find it "tacky" they won't come. This board spends way too much time stressing mommas out. Do what you want, there is not right/wrong only judgemental people who I wouldn't want to come to my party anyhow.
Yes! This is right on.

@bankskm Out of curiousity, what is the cause? Are you a charity? Raising funds for hungry kids, abused women, etc. Those are causes. Having a baby is not a cause, it's a life choice.

CaliforniaDream87 · April 2015

stow2009 said:

bankskm said:
Absolutely! You know why!? Because you are an adult and I am assuming you are inviting other adults to your party. If they do not believe in the cause or find it "tacky" they won't come. This board spends way too much time stressing mommas out. Do what you want, there is not right/wrong only judgemental people who I wouldn't want to come to my party anyhow.
Yes! This is right on.

People get so butthurt over someone else's opinion. Now THAT is what this board spends way too much time doing.

kelseyrayay · April 2015

I personally don't see a problem with hosting your own. Just because you moved doesn't mean you shouldn't get one too. But that's my opinion. You do you!

bpwife&mama · April 2015

I can see the invites now "You're cordially invited to a baby shower in honor of (insert your name here) hosted by (insert your name here). The mom to be is registered at (stores of your choice)." There's nothing tacky about this?!?

kedbach · April 2015

AMEN. Someone has some sense!!

cg0112358 · April 2015

stow2009 said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:

morethancottoncandy2 said:

ptelfra said:
I don't see the issue in hosting your own baby shower, in the Hispanic culture you actually plan your own shower so it's kind of a normal thing to do. I'm planning my own shower with the help of my mom
I live in south Florida and have many Hispanic friends. None of them would do anything that tacky.

OP, a shower is a gift giving event where you are the guest of honor. Surely you can see how it would be in poor taste to throw your own. A baby shower is a gift, not an entitlement.
Wether you plan it yourself or have someone else plan it, it's a baby shower, in no way is it "tacky" to plan it yourself. Considering she just moved also. If you think it's "tacky" to plan your own shower is it also "tacky" to register yourself for your own gifts you would like to receive at the shower? I don't think so, actually planning your own shower is fine in every single way.
Nope.

A registry is a list of items that the parents to be intend to purchase. If someone wants to buy something from that list, it's there as a suggestion, but it is by no means mandatory that all gifts must come from the registry.

You don't invite people to buy you gifts. It's rude.
A registry is certainly not a list of items the parents intend to buy. At least it wasn't for us. Maybe you use the 10% discount to buy some stuff, but let's be honest with ourselves. You wouldn't make a registry if people weren't going to buy you things off of it. That would be like making a registry for your grocery shopping. I'm sorry, I'm not understanding all of this "people will be offended if you assume they will buy you a present" stuff. Of COURSE they want to buy you a present. We don't make a ton of $, and if my close friend is having a baby I will buy her a present off of her registry happily. We all know how this works, why make it so complicated by saying a registry isn't asking people to buy you things? That's exactly what a registry is.

Because it isn't, maybe that's what you use it for but many of us simply use it as a list. I made a registry for DD1 even though I had no shower (she was my 2nd LO) and I shared it with no one. Registries help parents to organize their needs/wants. I only make registries to make a list of things I need/want and also so I can use the completion coupons to save some money.

raelynch87 · April 2015

I was really sad at the prospect of not having a shower but my mom passed away 6 years ago and the rest of my family lives 10 hours away. For me personally I'd rather not have a shower than host it myself. That said, I have a friend that is due several weeks after me and she is throwing her own. I also don't see a problem with throwing your own.

pstylez · April 2015

You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.

voldem0rt · April 2015

pstylez said:
You women are so mean and just rude. I pray it's just hormones and not your real personality. God Bless your unborn kids. Mean mommies. First time in a group board and I'm never joining in one again. Awful people in this world.

If you're gonna cry about people telling a woman that hosting her own shower is tacky, feel free to leave now. How exactly is giving an opinion (which OP asked for) equal to being a "mean mommy?" I'm pretty sure I'm not anyone's "mommy" on this forum. I pray that your whiny attitude is just hormones and not your real personality.

OP: throwing your own shower is tacky. Showers are meant to be gifts and you are not entitled to one just because you chose to get pregnant. If someone offers, that's great. If not, it's unfortunate, but you could have a sip n see after birth and some would bring gifts.

Want a personalized experience?

Would love to have a baby shower.

Re: Would love to have a baby shower.

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