October 2015 Moms

Husband and I don't agree on circumcision

245

Re: Husband and I don't agree on circumcision

  • When I worked in daycare I saw multiple infections in the baby boys who were not circumcised. They had good, conscientous parents, yet this still seemed to happen. From that experience I will choose to circumcise if the baby is a boy. Also, I have yet to meet a circumcized male who seems to be missing pleasurable sensations, they seem pretty happy with their parts :-)
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  • jenboston22jenboston22 member
    edited April 2015

    I don't see how any of us women can say its not painful we haven't had this done we don't know if it hurts !

    I agree with your points, but I just wanted to say that we do actually know that it hurts, as infant boys typically scream in pain during the procedure. So sad.

    ETA: I found a resource that describes the pain as described in medical journals. Be warned: it is very difficult to read. Here is a snippet: They report that the infant will “cry vigorously, tremble, and in some cases become mildly cyanotic [having blueness or lividness of the skin, caused by a deficiency of oxygen] because of prolonged crying.”

  • @jenboston22 Yes they do you are right!!!!! we do know it hurts it kills me to hear ppl say that it doesn't.... I have seen many videos and omg I don't think I can get those screams out of my head. Its not right ! I guess under religion but o don't see the point of it! [-(





  • My husband said he doesn't remember it.  My doctor says that medication is used nowadays which minimizes pain.  I don't think it is right to compare to female genital mutilation.  They are removing a small piece of skin on the penis not amputating the penile shaft whereas on the female you are in effect amputating part of the vulva and lips on the skin.  Then both the inner and outer vulva are restructured to create a smaller hole which creates pain in menstruation and urinating. It also creates generous scar tissue which creates painful sexual intercourse.  Healing with an infant or newborn male takes a week whereas a female can take up to 3 months or more and has a greater risk of infection and complications.  Just as if the procedure if done on a teen or adult male can take up to 2 months.  I did a whole project on female genital mutilation in college so I don't think they are the same.  Basically if you want to argue they are the same on moral grounds you could make a case for that but the physical procedure is far different.   

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  • I'm surprised so many of you agree with my point of view. Thats something I didnt expect when I looked up rates of circumcision worldwide! Pleasantly surprised, I must say.

    Something someone else brought up most certainly is true: Its hardly done anymore in Europe. And I know no one at all thats had problems with it. Just a matter of teaching boys to keep themselves clean. I've also never known anyone that had to get circumcised later in life for whatever reason. Its not even really a question where I'm from, you pretty much just dont do it unless its for religious reasons, and even then its mostly frowned upon. 

    If you look up charts of where this is still a thing in high numbers.. Well let me just link this.

  • I think I've said this before, I float around so I can never remember where. But for those saying it is a barbaric procedure, that may depend on your provider. My son had it done at 1 month old and he slept through the procedure and only cried when the diaper started rubbing a bit. Not trying to sway you either way, but I have to disagree with saying it's always painful and/or barbaric.

    I agree ! It's not a painful surgery for a newborn child, but does become painful when they get older if they need to have it done !
  • @MelMel92 Thanks for sharing the chart! It's very interesting.
  • To help in determining the degree of pain and stress caused by circumcision, infant response was compared to that resulting from other procedures. Levels of cortisol (a hormone released into the blood in response to stress) and behavioral responses were recorded for newborns undergoing circumcision, heel-stick blood sampling, weighing and measuring, and discharge examination. Circumcision resulted in significantly higher levels of behavioral distress and blood cortisol levels than did the other procedures. Since the infant is restrained during circumcision, the response to the use of restraint was similarly tested and was not found to be measurably distressing to newborns.
    https://www.circumcision.org/response.htm





  • Please stop making assumptions w.o having the correct information !!!!





  • @BooBerry137 That is MY opinion! I know damn well it's both their child. I mean duhh! Personally, if my husband was against it, that'd be too damn bad is all I'm saying. You don't have to agree with me, but you will respect me and stop tagging my damn name.
  • @BooBerry137 That is MY opinion! I know damn well it's both their child. I mean duhh! Personally, if my husband was against it, that'd be too damn bad is all I'm saying. You don't have to agree with me, but you will respect me and stop tagging my damn name.

    @DeidreHarr Lol, no.

    You are all kinds of wrong.
  • I am strongly against circumcision; it is an unnecessary and horrible way to introduce a baby boy into the world. While it is still relatively common in the U.S. for non-medical and non-religious reasons, it is extremely uncommon in Europe; really, aside from the U.S., countries with high circumcision rates generally have very high Muslim or Jewish populations. So, in these countries, it is a religious procedure.


    On a side note, in English-speaking countries, circumcision actually arose in the 1800s due to negative attitudes towards sex and masturbation. Pediatric manuals continued to advocate circumcision as an anti-masturbatory measure until the 1950s. The physicians believed that by removing the extra sensitive foreskin boys would be less likely to masturbate.
    Sometimes males have to be circumsized when then are older. 16-30 years old because of problems with it ... Some people just want to prevent problems !
  • I agree. I think it's barbaric and it's genital mutilation. I don't think it's our right to do that to someone. I'm completely against it, just as I'm against FGM.

    Some men need to have it done when they are older, 16-30 and it is extremely painful when done this late in life ... Most people will do it to prevent infections, and other problems with it as well ! My cousin was 17 when he had to be snipped, his foreskin was cutting circulation off, he was put to sleep for the procedure but he said when he woke up it was horrible !! He said it took 4-6 weeks to heal and still he gets pain around where the scar is !!
  • Rikki_5 said:

    My husband said he doesn't remember it.  My doctor says that medication is used nowadays which minimizes pain.  I don't think it is right to compare to female genital mutilation.  They are removing a small piece of skin on the penis not amputating the penile shaft whereas on the female you are in effect amputating part of the vulva and lips on the skin.  Then both the inner and outer vulva are restructured to create a smaller hole which creates pain in menstruation and urinating. It also creates generous scar tissue which creates painful sexual intercourse.  Healing with an infant or newborn male takes a week whereas a female can take up to 3 months or more and has a greater risk of infection and complications.  Just as if the procedure if done on a teen or adult male can take up to 2 months.  I did a whole project on female genital mutilation in college so I don't think they are the same.  Basically if you want to argue they are the same on moral grounds you could make a case for that but the physical procedure is far different.   


    I completely agree with you, we also did a study on it for biology and health ! Male circumcision can't be compared to female genital mutalation ! It's not the same !
  • No one is stating that the two are the same procedures but they are being compared in that they are not needed and that they do cause pain ! If we are going on preventive procedures then its safe to say that young girls should have their breast removed once they come in to prevent breast cancer. It doesn't make sense!





  • lofinlofin member
    It's great that you guys are talking about it open and honestly- now that you know where each other stands...I would let it lie and see whether or not you are having a boy.  It may not have to go any further :) If then, it turns out you are having a boy, then do research together and hopefully you both can come to a decision that you both are comfortable with.  I would say, for now, save yourself from the emotional stress! 
  • @MelMel92 :-B no need to apologize point well made!

    @jenn2132 I agree. People do choose this for asthetic reasons or relious too other then that I have yet to find a medical reason why this is necessary unless there is a defect.





  • lofin said:

    It's great that you guys are talking about it open and honestly- now that you know where each other stands...I would let it lie and see whether or not you are having a boy.  It may not have to go any further :) If then, it turns out you are having a boy, then do research together and hopefully you both can come to a decision that you both are comfortable with.  I would say, for now, save yourself from the emotional stress! 

    dang reading all this was a little stressful.  I agree @lofin .
  • @alf0318 @lofin lolz omg that's so true your only 12 weeks no need to argue with ur partner about it now wait and c mb this whole this won't affect you and you'll end up with a baby girl !





  • MelMel92 said:

    No one is stating that the two are the same procedures but they are being compared in that they are not needed and that they do cause pain ! If we are going on preventive procedures then its safe to say that young girls should have their breast removed once they come in to prevent breast cancer. It doesn't make sense!

    And dont many people have their tonsils out? Lets just snip those away at birth too! Oh, and appendicitis is pretty common, lets remove the appendix right away then. Theyre so young it doesnt even matter! RIGHT?! Ugh.

    Sorry gabriela, just wanted to follow up on the excellent point you were making :)

    Actually a baby boy having a circumsion doesn't cause that much pain, it is numbed before hand, and afterwards healing is very fast ! Takes 6-7 to fully heal and then it's done and I've with, if I could go back 3 almost 4 years I would have circumsized my son, because within the next 2-3 years he's gonna need it anyways and this time is gonna be excruciating pain for him !!
  • MelMel92 said:

    No one is stating that the two are the same procedures but they are being compared in that they are not needed and that they do cause pain ! If we are going on preventive procedures then its safe to say that young girls should have their breast removed once they come in to prevent breast cancer. It doesn't make sense!

    And dont many people have their tonsils out? Lets just snip those away at birth too! Oh, and appendicitis is pretty common, lets remove the appendix right away then. Theyre so young it doesnt even matter! RIGHT?! Ugh.

    Sorry gabriela, just wanted to follow up on the excellent point you were making :)

    Actually a baby boy having a circumsion doesn't cause that much pain, it is numbed before hand, and afterwards healing is very fast ! Takes 6-7 to fully heal and then it's done and I've with, if I could go back 3 almost 4 years I would have circumsized my son, because within the next 2-3 years he's gonna need it anyways and this time is gonna be excruciating pain for him !!
    And tonsils are different how? Yet those arent mass-removed.

  • Tonsils and appendix are both used to prevent infection by our bodies ! What's the purpose or a boys foreskin ? Find me a purpose for a useless piece of skin ? Oh wait I know 1 (: ! Doctors can grow ALOT of skin for burn patients off of foreskin (: !
  • Keeps the glans moist, and enhances sexual pleasure as it holds most of the nerve endings. Which yes, can definitely give sexual issues when removed. Its like you cutting off your clit, well, have fun with that.

  • Actually there's no scientific evidence that it does reduce pleasure ! My bf is circumsized and he still gets lots of please (: ! Corcumsision also reduces the risks of contracting HIV and HERPES significantly !

    Your no going by facts, your going on your own beliefs ! The pros for circumsized males are greater then those uncircumsized males !

    https://www.doctoroz.com/blog/harry-fisch-md/circumcision-snip-or-not-snip

    https://m.livescience.com/27769-does-circumcision-reduce-sexual-pleasure.html
  • If he wants to separate over foreskin. Bye Felicia! Thankfully we agree on having him circumcised. It's cleaner and IMO better looking. I've heard horror stories from friends with men who are not! If they don't get in there and clean well it stinks and can get "cheesey" Ewww! No thanks!
    I'm sorry your going through this with your husband. He needs to realize there will be a lot more tough decisions throughout this journey that you will need to work through as a team. Good luck!
  • You should consider doing some real research @MelMel92 to back up your false statements !
    Here's some good websites for you !

    https://m.kidshealth.org/parent/system/surgical/circumcision.html
    https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/mobileart.asp?articlekey=7685&page=13
  • pinkj4182 said:

    If he wants to separate over foreskin. Bye Felicia! Thankfully we agree on having him circumcised. It's cleaner and IMO better looking. I've heard horror stories from friends with men who are not! If they don't get in there and clean well it stinks and can get "cheesey" Ewww! No thanks!
    I'm sorry your going through this with your husband. He needs to realize there will be a lot more tough decisions throughout this journey that you will need to work through as a team. Good luck!

    There's huge health benefits too (: !
  • MelMel92 said:

    I am going by facts, but the studies I read arent in English as my English isnt good enough to read scientific papers. The Royal Dutch Medical Association finds no pros and boatload of cons for circumcision. No. Pros. No one in my family has had it done, and no one has had problems. While my husband DID get it done and does have issues. 


    You know what else reduces the risk of contracting HIV and herpes? Safe sex. Preach that instead.
    I know lots of people who didn't have it done and needed to, like my 3 almost 4 year old son, while he doesn't need it yet, his foreskin is super tight and will need to be cut of it becomes any tighten !! And no where's can I find only cons ? Can you post a link ? And my boyfriend is circumsized and he's never had a problem with his ! And he has sensitivity and he gets pleasure ... Lol
  • Any site you go on all have the same for pros of circumsion, I never seen a site that there is no pros !
  • And that is just their "view" on it without doing any medical or scientific research on it !! https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/docs/MC-factsheet-508.pdf

    There's a CDC government website ! Check that one out !
  • MelMel92 said:

    I am going by facts, but the studies I read arent in English as my English isnt good enough to read scientific papers. The Royal Dutch Medical Association finds no pros and boatload of cons for circumcision. No. Pros. No one in my family has had it done, and no one has had problems. While my husband DID get it done and does have issues. 


    You know what else reduces the risk of contracting HIV and herpes? Safe sex. Preach that instead.
    And practicing safe sex isn't always the most helpful, as condoms aren't 100% and herpes can also be passed with the use of condoms !!
  • naka92naka92 member
    edited April 2015

    MelMel92 said:

    I am going by facts, but the studies I read arent in English as my English isnt good enough to read scientific papers. The Royal Dutch Medical Association finds no pros and boatload of cons for circumcision. No. Pros. No one in my family has had it done, and no one has had problems. While my husband DID get it done and does have issues. 


    You know what else reduces the risk of contracting HIV and herpes? Safe sex. Preach that instead.
    I know lots of people who didn't have it done and needed to, like my 3 almost 4 year old son, while he doesn't need it yet, his foreskin is super tight and will need to be cut of it becomes any tighten !! And no where's can I find only cons ? Can you post a link ? And my boyfriend is circumsized and he's never had a problem with his ! And he has sensitivity and he gets pleasure ... Lol
    Ehm, did you read my post at all? 
    My English isnt good enough to read research in English. I thus read research papers done in my own language. Which yes, cripples me greatly when it comes to discussing these things on English boards, but what is the point of me linking something you wont be able to read? (which, btw, is exactly what you do when you'd like me to scientific papers done in English.) Getting kind of tired of being shoved aside simply because Im not a native speaker.
    Leaving this discussion, as obviously you dont actually even read my posts.

  • MelMel92 said:

    MelMel92 said:

    I am going by facts, but the studies I read arent in English as my English isnt good enough to read scientific papers. The Royal Dutch Medical Association finds no pros and boatload of cons for circumcision. No. Pros. No one in my family has had it done, and no one has had problems. While my husband DID get it done and does have issues. 


    You know what else reduces the risk of contracting HIV and herpes? Safe sex. Preach that instead.
    I know lots of people who didn't have it done and needed to, like my 3 almost 4 year old son, while he doesn't need it yet, his foreskin is super tight and will need to be cut of it becomes any tighten !! And no where's can I find only cons ? Can you post a link ? And my boyfriend is circumsized and he's never had a problem with his ! And he has sensitivity and he gets pleasure ... Lol
    Ehm, did you read my post at all? 
    My English isnt good enough to read research in English. I thus read research papers done in my own language. Which yes, cripples me greatly when it comes to discussing these things on English boards, but what is the point of me linking something you wont be able to read? Getting kind of tired of being shoved aside simply because Im not a native speaker.
    Leaving this discussion, as obviously you obviously dont actually even read my posts.
    Your English is good enough to type a few paragraphs and I understand it, and you also read my posts, so I don't understand how it wouldn't be clear enough to read about circumsion pros and cons ...
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