Why do other have to be rude ??

tmandato1234 · April 2015

I don't understand. Why must others be rude about people posting the same discussion ? Some are new moms and others have been through tramadic events causing them to over react and freak out. They post things on here to get positive vibes and encouragement that everything is okay. If you are unhappy with the posts then get out of it. Sorry it breaks my heart seeing people be so negative to others asking for advice. And lastly. I had a early u/s due to complications with 3 previous pregnancy and no baby's. But the lost of a fallopian tube. These are reasons why people have early u/s. It's just one of those days

wocha · April 2015

I was thinking the same thing !

kaitwebber · April 2015

I agree, this should be a place to seek support and positivity

>-

hermes1972 · April 2015

Agree . I was surprised on some responses

wocha · April 2015

I think its really bad. Wow, sometimes im just shocked! It wants me to switch birthmonths to bad my baby wont let me

Lythornton · April 2015

I totally agree. I don't get on here very often (about once a week) because I see more negative insults and just plain rudeness than I see helpful things. I try to look for just the topics that are of most interest to me but it is still amazing to me of how insensitive people can be. I understand we are all affected by crazy hormones but that doesn't justify being cruel. I saw one poster criticizing another poster's grammar when she was talking about her recent miscarriage. Tactless!

Tiff1st · April 2015

Yay! Someone finally said something! A lot of woman on here are just rude as fudge! Haha let's see who says something stupid though! Someone's big mouth will! A lot of mommies to be on here have had awful miscarriages, and all these woman do on here is bash everyone! It's so disgusting!

bluebelle17 · April 2015

I totally agree, and I think it's disgusting.

BooBerry137 · April 2015

It clogs up the board and pushes other important posts to the back page. No one is being rude. Informing new posters that they should look a few pages back isn't rude, it's just letting them know the board etiquette.

Please understand, no one is being rude. Sometimes you are going to hear opinions and facts that may not be what you want to hear. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an insult or not supportive. Sometimes you need to hear these things. Be aware that when you post on a public forum, you are opening yourself to others opinions and information. It's not always given with a dose of sugar and it shouldn't have to be. You are going to be a parent. You should appreciate the honest, intelligent and well thought out responses you get here.

As far as support goes, do you walk up to random pregnant strangers and demand that they support you simply because they are also pregnant? I should hope not.

bluebelle17 · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:
It clogs up the board and pushes other important posts to the back page. No one is being rude. Informing new posters that they should look a few pages back isn't rude, it's just letting them know the board etiquette.

Please understand, no one is being rude. Sometimes you are going to hear opinions and facts that may not be what you want to hear. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an insult or not supportive. Sometimes you need to hear these things. Be aware that when you post on a public forum, you are opening yourself to others opinions and information. It's not always given with a dose of sugar and it shouldn't have to be. You are going to be a parent. You should appreciate the honest, intelligent and well thought out responses you get here.

As far as support goes, do you walk up to random pregnant strangers and demand that they support you simply because they are also pregnant? I should hope not.

Nope; she isn't talking about that. Some people ARE actually rude, perhaps you missed it.

BooBerry137 · April 2015

bluebelle17 said:

BooBerry137 said:
It clogs up the board and pushes other important posts to the back page. No one is being rude. Informing new posters that they should look a few pages back isn't rude, it's just letting them know the board etiquette.

Please understand, no one is being rude. Sometimes you are going to hear opinions and facts that may not be what you want to hear. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an insult or not supportive. Sometimes you need to hear these things. Be aware that when you post on a public forum, you are opening yourself to others opinions and information. It's not always given with a dose of sugar and it shouldn't have to be. You are going to be a parent. You should appreciate the honest, intelligent and well thought out responses you get here.

As far as support goes, do you walk up to random pregnant strangers and demand that they support you simply because they are also pregnant? I should hope not.
Nope; she isn't talking about that. Some people ARE actually rude, perhaps you missed it.

I've actually been around the bump for about 3 years. Yes, some people can be rude, but honestly, no one on this board has been rude. The posts here have been very tame. Explaining the difference between a baby bump and bloat is not rude, it's actually doing someone a great disservice to tell them what they want to hear, instead of informing them of a simple scientific fact.

I get that people don't like to be told that they are wrong. But you can't be right all of the time. It would be rude to say, "you're an idiot, of course you're not showing." But explaining to someone why they aren't showing and providing them with the information as to why, is not rude. It's informative. There's a very large difference.

Pontot31 · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:
It clogs up the board and pushes other important posts to the back page. No one is being rude. Informing new posters that they should look a few pages back isn't rude, it's just letting them know the board etiquette.

Please understand, no one is being rude. Sometimes you are going to hear opinions and facts that may not be what you want to hear. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an insult or not supportive. Sometimes you need to hear these things. Be aware that when you post on a public forum, you are opening yourself to others opinions and information. It's not always given with a dose of sugar and it shouldn't have to be. You are going to be a parent. You should appreciate the honest, intelligent and well thought out responses you get here.

As far as support goes, do you walk up to random pregnant strangers and demand that they support you simply because they are also pregnant? I should hope not.

This.
A lot of the people here have been on the bump a long time. There's an order to the community that needs to be followed to make it successful. Read a few pages back her and visit other boards and you will probably understand more.

No one is being rude.
Just understand all the repetative posts get old very very fast. And they also push important ones down so no ones sees them. If helpful posts are pushed down they don't help anyone.
Just take some time to read back 4-5 pages and they will likely answer your questions so you don't need to start a new post. You can just continue an already established conversation. More people are likely to help you that way.

bluebelle17 · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:

bluebelle17 said:

BooBerry137 said:
It clogs up the board and pushes other important posts to the back page. No one is being rude. Informing new posters that they should look a few pages back isn't rude, it's just letting them know the board etiquette.

Please understand, no one is being rude. Sometimes you are going to hear opinions and facts that may not be what you want to hear. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an insult or not supportive. Sometimes you need to hear these things. Be aware that when you post on a public forum, you are opening yourself to others opinions and information. It's not always given with a dose of sugar and it shouldn't have to be. You are going to be a parent. You should appreciate the honest, intelligent and well thought out responses you get here.

As far as support goes, do you walk up to random pregnant strangers and demand that they support you simply because they are also pregnant? I should hope not.
Nope; she isn't talking about that. Some people ARE actually rude, perhaps you missed it.
I've actually been around the bump for about 3 years. Yes, some people can be rude, but honestly, no one on this board has been rude. The posts here have been very tame. Explaining the difference between a baby bump and bloat is not rude, it's actually doing someone a great disservice to tell them what they want to hear, instead of informing them of a simple scientific fact.

I get that people don't like to be told that they are wrong. But you can't be right all of the time. It would be rude to say, "you're an idiot, of course you're not showing." But explaining to someone why they aren't showing and providing them with the information as to why, is not rude. It's informative. There's a very large difference.

Nope, I don't mean when someone is 'explaining the difference between a baby bump and bloat'; it's the way in which people word their replies, talk down to people and are rude in their manner.

Pontot31 · April 2015

The thing is tone is implied when you're reading something. It may not always be the intent.

Unknown · April 2015

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wocha · April 2015

Cant we just make a new bump with all the people that agree here
So we dont have to read all the blabla why we "misunderstand" the "rude" comments
You people just make me wanna be rude

bluebelle17 · April 2015

WhyDidMufasaHaveToDie said:
You guys would have died on the old bump.....the good ole days

Nice to know it has always been a compassionate and caring place.

Crestonbaby · April 2015

I agree people can be very rude in this community. I have seen a lot of arguments that aren't even related to the original post. Really makes you question a lot of people's intentions. I don't think it's necessary to try and outsmart people on here by correcting their grammar or choices of words and some people are just simply rude.

Unknown · April 2015

This content has been removed.

kmd91 · April 2015

I wish people would stop saying "no one is being rude," because that's downright false. Sure, a lot of the time people are telling people what they don't want to hear in a polite way, and they get offended. I'm not saying that telling people anything other than what they want to hear is rude. However, people have been rude, without a shadow of a doubt. It's all about how you say something. I've personally seen several people cross that rude line, being condescending, "correcting" spelling that was actually correct because of the whole UK vs US spelling with the whole "I assume you mean..." as if the word were so butchered you couldn't tell what it meant, as part of a you're not showing conversation. People phrasing things in a way that they're clearly talking down to someone, like they're better than everyone else. And occasionally the even more fully rude comment, attacking other posters (while more rare, it does still happen).

Is that a majority of the people correcting others? No, not at all. And could it more extreme rudeness? Certainly. However to say no one here has been rude is just ridiculous.

gumby22c · April 2015

For real, when is this board going to simmer down? We're not going to always agree. That doesn't mean we're rude. And occasionally people will get called out for ignorance. Its life. This isn't going to always be puppies and rainbows. If your going to hang around, grow a pair.

BooBerry137 · April 2015

wocha said:
Cant we just make a new bump with all the people that agree here
So we dont have to read all the blabla why we "misunderstand" the "rude" comments
You people just make me wanna be rude

You clearly don't understand what rude is though. Providing someone information is not rude. Why is it necessary that everything be sugarcoated for a supposed adult? Please explain that to me.

Furthermore, I'm going to assume that your post is directed at me, since you called me rude earlier when I suggested marriage counseling to the poster who said she hated her husband who called her a "fucking bitch." We can only respond to the information that is given in a particular post. So when someone claims their husband behaves in that manner and doesn't really say anything positive, I can only respond to the information that is provided. It was my opinion that they were lacking in the communication department and could benefit from some counseling. I'm not sure how counseling is a negative thing or how I was rude. I can only deduce that you don't understand the meaning of the word.

Pontot31 · April 2015

WhyDidMufasaHaveToDie said:

bluebelle17 said:

WhyDidMufasaHaveToDie said:
You guys would have died on the old bump.....the good ole days
Nice to know it has always been a compassionate and caring place.
In my n14 days it was. I actually am good friends with many ladies I met here. The new bump makes me sick and worried because so much false info is spread.

^ totally this. I still talk to a lot of the Jan12 ladies daily! But we can't spread false info. Also the snark is half the fun of the bump. Just wait until another board blows up with some extreme crazy and we all go watch and then come back here to laugh about it.
Once the 1st tri is over it gets better. People calm down and learn to know each other's personalities.

bluebelle17 · April 2015

kmd91 said:
I wish people would stop saying "no one is being rude," because that's downright false. Sure, a lot of the time people are telling people what they don't want to hear in a polite way, and they get offended. I'm not saying that telling people anything other than what they want to hear is rude. However, people have been rude, without a shadow of a doubt. It's all about how you say something. I've personally seen several people cross that rude line, being condescending, "correcting" spelling that was actually correct because of the whole UK vs US spelling with the whole "I assume you mean..." as if the word were so butchered you couldn't tell what it meant, as part of a you're not showing conversation. People phrasing things in a way that they're clearly talking down to someone, like they're better than everyone else. And occasionally the even more fully rude comment, attacking other posters (while more rare, it does still happen).

Is that a majority of the people correcting others? No, not at all. And could it more extreme rudeness? Certainly. However to say no one here has been rude is just ridiculous.

Exactly this, worded a lot more eloquently than I could have managed. I had exactly the same experience with somebody 'correcting' my UK spelling of something. In a particular thread, two people who had been members for a while were literally posting gifs from Mean Girls as responses, bringing some of us to tears with their nastiness at an already emotional time. They both got banned from the bump - they too, had members sticking up for them saying they weren't being rude. It seems the members who have been here a while have a sort of gang mentality when it comes to slaughtering new members.

Unknown · April 2015

This content has been removed.

Pontot31 · April 2015

I wasn't here for that @WhyDidMufasaHaveToDie. But I remember many times with my last pregnancy all going and reading some crazy posts and bonding over it. I think the June 12 board was the one we lurked on the most- with the scammer and see offender husband. I took a break and moved to FB after that and only came back in January of this year to the TTGP board.
Those are always fun though

Unknown · April 2015

This content has been removed.

wocha · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:
Cant we just make a new bump with all the people that agree here
So we dont have to read all the blabla why we "misunderstand" the "rude" comments
You people just make me wanna be rude
You clearly don't understand what rude is though. Providing someone information is not rude. Why is it necessary that everything be sugarcoated for a supposed adult? Please explain that to me.

Furthermore, I'm going to assume that your post is directed at me, since you called me rude earlier when I suggested marriage counseling to the poster who said she hated her husband who called her a "fucking bitch." We can only respond to the information that is given in a particular post. So when someone claims their husband behaves in that manner and doesn't really say anything positive, I can only respond to the information that is provided. It was my opinion that they were lacking in the communication department and could benefit from some counseling. I'm not sure how counseling is a negative thing or how I was rude. I can only deduce that you don't understand the meaning of the word.

Omg
No i am not only talking about you
Did i attack you? Did i say something over here about you?!
I said my opinion, like you do .. But yet im the one how is being attacked..

And then you are the person how said that you are not always gonna be right ? I think you have to reflect that on your self

What i and these other ladies are trying to say is, we dont think its rude to have another opinion
It is the way you tell it that can be rude
And yes, somethings are just rude i dont need to flower them up

Did she said she hated her husband ?! : no
Do i need sugarcoating : no
Am i on this community for positive vibes : yes
Are we looking for puppys and rainbows over here : no
Are we Learning to grow a pair by this community : definitly not

You say the responses are well thought and intelligent
I think absolutly not

Now im just gonna wait for another attack or somebody thats gonna complain about my spelling ( excuse me im not english speaking )

Wow, a discussions opens about rudness and yet see what happens. Peace is hard to find in this community
Good job moms

Unknown · April 2015

This content has been removed.

BooBerry137 · April 2015

@bluebelle17 I think I just found the post you are referring to and I have to say I agree with the poster you called out. She was not being rude, just pointing out that the rant against young mothers, mothers on government assistance, etc. was unfair and judgmental. Which it was. There are young mothers here, do they deserve their babies less because of their age or less than ideal situation? Certainly not.

Lythornton · April 2015

Tiff1st said:
Yay! Someone finally said something! A lot of woman on here are just rude as fudge! Haha let's see who says something stupid though! Someone's big mouth will! A lot of mommies to be on here have had awful miscarriages, and all these woman do on here is bash everyone! It's so disgusting!

You are right. It didn't take long for the stupid comments to start being posted immediately.

BooBerry137 · April 2015

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:
Cant we just make a new bump with all the people that agree here
So we dont have to read all the blabla why we "misunderstand" the "rude" comments
You people just make me wanna be rude
You clearly don't understand what rude is though. Providing someone information is not rude. Why is it necessary that everything be sugarcoated for a supposed adult? Please explain that to me.

Furthermore, I'm going to assume that your post is directed at me, since you called me rude earlier when I suggested marriage counseling to the poster who said she hated her husband who called her a "fucking bitch." We can only respond to the information that is given in a particular post. So when someone claims their husband behaves in that manner and doesn't really say anything positive, I can only respond to the information that is provided. It was my opinion that they were lacking in the communication department and could benefit from some counseling. I'm not sure how counseling is a negative thing or how I was rude. I can only deduce that you don't understand the meaning of the word.
Omg
No i am not only talking about you
Did i attack you? Did i say something over here about you?!
I said my opinion, like you do .. But yet im the one how is being attacked..

And then you are the person how said that you are not always gonna be right ? I think you have to reflect that on your self

What i and these other ladies are trying to say is, we dont think its rude to have another opinion
It is the way you tell it that can be rude
And yes, somethings are just rude i dont need to flower them up

Did she said she hated her husband ?! : no
Do i need sugarcoating : no
Am i on this community for positive vibes : yes
Are we looking for puppys and rainbows over here : no
Are we Learning to grow a pair by this community : definitly not

You say the responses are well thought and intelligent
I think absolutly not

Now im just gonna wait for another attack or somebody thats gonna complain about my spelling ( excuse me im not english speaking )

Wow, a discussions opens about rudness and yet see what happens. Peace is hard to find in this community
Good job moms

No one attacked you and for what it's worth, the title of that post was that she hated her husband, so, there's that.

Amstreagle · April 2015

These posts help nothing. IMO it's a cheap way to get a bunch of love tits from people who don't like to hear the truth and will be gone in a few months.

karlikohl · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:

bluebelle17 said:

BooBerry137 said:
It clogs up the board and pushes other important posts to the back page. No one is being rude. Informing new posters that they should look a few pages back isn't rude, it's just letting them know the board etiquette.

Please understand, no one is being rude. Sometimes you are going to hear opinions and facts that may not be what you want to hear. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an insult or not supportive. Sometimes you need to hear these things. Be aware that when you post on a public forum, you are opening yourself to others opinions and information. It's not always given with a dose of sugar and it shouldn't have to be. You are going to be a parent. You should appreciate the honest, intelligent and well thought out responses you get here.

As far as support goes, do you walk up to random pregnant strangers and demand that they support you simply because they are also pregnant? I should hope not.
Nope; she isn't talking about that. Some people ARE actually rude, perhaps you missed it.
I've actually been around the bump for about 3 years. Yes, some people can be rude, but honestly, no one on this board has been rude. The posts here have been very tame. Explaining the difference between a baby bump and bloat is not rude, it's actually doing someone a great disservice to tell them what they want to hear, instead of informing them of a simple scientific fact.

I get that people don't like to be told that they are wrong. But you can't be right all of the time. It would be rude to say, "you're an idiot, of course you're not showing." But explaining to someone why they aren't showing and providing them with the information as to why, is not rude. It's informative. There's a very large difference.

Did you think about the fact that she could have been talking about a different thread? There have been extremely rude comments on some of the posts.

Pontot31 · April 2015

If I have to read the word "rude" one more time on this board I'm going to scream!
It's past my bedtime anyway.... I'm sure this will be a fun read to catch up on at 3am at work

BooBerry137 · April 2015

karlikohl said:

BooBerry137 said:

bluebelle17 said:

BooBerry137 said:
It clogs up the board and pushes other important posts to the back page. No one is being rude. Informing new posters that they should look a few pages back isn't rude, it's just letting them know the board etiquette.

Please understand, no one is being rude. Sometimes you are going to hear opinions and facts that may not be what you want to hear. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an insult or not supportive. Sometimes you need to hear these things. Be aware that when you post on a public forum, you are opening yourself to others opinions and information. It's not always given with a dose of sugar and it shouldn't have to be. You are going to be a parent. You should appreciate the honest, intelligent and well thought out responses you get here.

As far as support goes, do you walk up to random pregnant strangers and demand that they support you simply because they are also pregnant? I should hope not.
Nope; she isn't talking about that. Some people ARE actually rude, perhaps you missed it.
I've actually been around the bump for about 3 years. Yes, some people can be rude, but honestly, no one on this board has been rude. The posts here have been very tame. Explaining the difference between a baby bump and bloat is not rude, it's actually doing someone a great disservice to tell them what they want to hear, instead of informing them of a simple scientific fact.

I get that people don't like to be told that they are wrong. But you can't be right all of the time. It would be rude to say, "you're an idiot, of course you're not showing." But explaining to someone why they aren't showing and providing them with the information as to why, is not rude. It's informative. There's a very large difference.
Did you think about the fact that she could have been talking about a different thread? There have been extremely rude comments on some of the posts.

This is simply untrue, but I was simply providing an example.

wocha · April 2015

@BooBerry137
Karkikohl is right,did you think about the fact that i could been talking about other responses except yours on the "hating her husband" discussion ?
then you didnt had to respond right at me and saying in other words that i have to learn the dictionary

LSRoo · April 2015

WhyDidMufasaHaveToDie said:
You guys would have died on the old bump.....the good ole days

This 10000 times! You guys wouldn't have made it one day if you think this is bad!! This is a stroll in the park.

Stop being so sensative. You won't like it here very much trust me.

And as other people have said- its common board etiquette to look back a few pages before you ask something. Why should your question bump important threads down when it was just asked. Are you too special to share a thread with someone else? Why must you require your own post for EVERY question? Once again- etiquette.

Amstreagle · April 2015

wocha said:
@BooBerry137
Karkikohl is right,did you think about the fact that i could been talking about other responses except yours on the "hating her husband" discussion ?
then you didnt had to respond right at me and saying in other words that i have to learn the dictionary

I mean it's not the worst advice.

kwaldy · April 2015

So I'm a FTM and very new to these boards, but I'm going to be super honest, some things could come across as rude. I've always been taught that perception is reality - so if someone perceives a comment as rude, in their mind, that's the reality. Some people are more sensitive to tone or connotations of certain words and can feel offended or attacked.
Even in boards I have not actively participated in, I have felt uncomfortable just reading things. It makes me afraid to ask questions and find people to relate. The biggest problem is, once someone feels attacked or offended, they also start issuing low blows in a fight or flight kind of reaction and it ultimately spins out of control.

It's whatever, though. If rudeness bothers you, stop participating in the conversation. It's that easy. Just put your cell phone down and close your Internet browser. Try again tomorrow. Done and done.

LSRoo · April 2015

bluebelle17 said:

kmd91 said:
I wish people would stop saying "no one is being rude," because that's downright false. Sure, a lot of the time people are telling people what they don't want to hear in a polite way, and they get offended. I'm not saying that telling people anything other than what they want to hear is rude. However, people have been rude, without a shadow of a doubt. It's all about how you say something. I've personally seen several people cross that rude line, being condescending, "correcting" spelling that was actually correct because of the whole UK vs US spelling with the whole "I assume you mean..." as if the word were so butchered you couldn't tell what it meant, as part of a you're not showing conversation. People phrasing things in a way that they're clearly talking down to someone, like they're better than everyone else. And occasionally the even more fully rude comment, attacking other posters (while more rare, it does still happen).

Is that a majority of the people correcting others? No, not at all. And could it more extreme rudeness? Certainly. However to say no one here has been rude is just ridiculous.
Exactly this, worded a lot more eloquently than I could have managed. I had exactly the same experience with somebody 'correcting' my UK spelling of something. In a particular thread, two people who had been members for a while were literally posting gifs from Mean Girls as responses, bringing some of us to tears with their nastiness at an already emotional time. They both got banned from the bump - they too, had members sticking up for them saying they weren't being rude. It seems the members who have been here a while have a sort of gang mentality when it comes to slaughtering new members.

You let people on an Internet forum bring you to tears? That's something you need to look at. I've been on tb for almost 3 yrs and this board is NOTHING compared to the old days. You are crying at this?? I kind of feel bad for you.

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