Community› The Bump Month Clubs› July 2015 Moms
July 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Ultrasound rant

LimebearerLimebearer member
in July 2015 Moms
Hey guys
Here is the thing. Im 37 yrs old, 20-21 weeks more or less. The doctors heard more than 1 heartbeat, but then proceeded to say " when you have the ultrasound, we will see for sure how many, then we can discuss how many you want to abort, as its easier to carry just 1 or 2 babies" i am really strongly against abortion , always have been. So obviously this is not making me hurry to get an ultrasound. I made a conscious decision to be monitored WITHOUT ultrasound till now, because the deliberate aborting of 1 or more babies is generally not done after about 18-20 weeks. But there are so many people that seem to make it their business to say "get a scan, get a scan, get a scan, when will you get a scan, even going so far as to say its neglect. It drives me completely mad! Does anyone think i am correct in wanting to hold off?!
Report Reply to Post
«1

Re: Ultrasound rant

  • Loading the player...
  • AlexandraMarcotteAlexandraMarcotte member
    I think what your facing is an incredibly hard decision and I can see why you've been afraid to have the scan - it seems like it might feel like once you have the scan, you have to make a decision. But the doctors can only advise you and you are the one who decides what happens from there.

    I would feel the same way you do - especially now that your LOs are so far along! I say that if it feels wrong to have an abortion, than simply have the scan so you can have all the facts, and then follow up with the doctor about alternative options.

    But definitely have the scan ASAP so you know what you're dealing with. It sounds like your situation is serious, and so now is a good time to seriously consider other options. You and your babies will certainly be in my prayers!
    Report Reply
  • mers90mers90 member
    Is your doctor a high risk specialist? If he's not then find one and get the scan. I have an aunt who got pregnant with twins at 36-38 after going through quimo and the odds were against her. They're now 17 years old ald perfectly fine ... And that was 17 years ago. In a situation like this i would look for at least 2 more opinion
    Report Reply
  • qtjo5qtjo5 member
    You should get the scan.
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    I am due for a scan about april 1st... The only option is keeping them all alive and raising them afterwards to be good people :)
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    And i am *basically* on bed rest at home already!
    Report Reply
  • haayitstayyhaayitstayy member
    Get the scan , your doctor might be recommending it due to possible health issues or the safely of your child/children .
    Report Reply
  • JHaworth84JHaworth84 member
    Like PP I find it hard to understand why you have not had an ultrasound already? There is absolutely no way your babies would be aborted without your consent, it's not even normal to think that way so if that's how your doctors are making you feel I would definitely seek a second opinion. I would say ultrasound only has benefits as you can see exactly what is going on in there and identify any complications early. Good luck x
    Report Reply
  • farahminafarahmina member
    Leave it to God, don't get a scan if u don't want. Trust in Him. Whatever will be will be.
    Report Reply
  • inLOVEalready715inLOVEalready715 member
    I'll be honest with you, I don't understand why you're not getting a scan...do you think they are harmful? Or do you not want to be pressured into abortion? No one can make you do anything...but you can also ensure the health and safety of your babies by having the ultrasound. I do not understand in this day and age why people wouldn't want to catch potential issues and correct them while in utero or have an operating room set up already so interventions could be taken immediately after birth if go forbid your baby has an issue. It is negligent in this day and age. If you love your kids, give them all the advantages by getting them the proper and recommended prenatal care. I guess it's your body and it's your choice but I caught placenta previa through an ultrasound and I have a very heavy lifting on my feet job and if I didn't take the proper precautions I could have lost my baby. I don't know why you would want to take any chances it's not your life, these lives belong to however many babies you have in there. I don't think you should have any abortions but you should make sure everybody is healthy and go from there. Good luck with your decision, it just seems extremely selfish to me. I know plenty of women who had natural water births in the home but they all had at least an anatomy scan to check for issues.
    Report Reply
  • LibbyC730LibbyC730 member
    Not having an ultrasound done leaves a lot of scary "what ifs" floating around. It's ultimately your decision what you want to do with the knowledge, but nothing can be done if you and your doctor don't know. I know I would feel more comfortable knowing everything I could and being prepared for any potential outcomes. An ultrasound at this stage in your pregnancy will provide a lot more information than how many LOs you're carrying! As previous posters have mentioned, a second opinion can't hurt, either.
    Report Reply
  • ellie9933ellie9933 member
    @inLOVEalready715 I don't think it's neglect to not get an ultrasound. If you have read or watched anything on Ina May and her birthing center they rarely use ultrasounds and they have delivered well over 2,000 babies...I do think for multiples its important to have one to make sure everything is ok since multiples can be high risk. I just don't agree that someone is selfish or negligent because they don't have an ultrasound.
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    I never said i would not have one, just that i held off longer than most :( years ago, a relative lost her triplets. When 3 were confirmed by ultrasound, the doctor pointed with a pen, basically saying " we can get rid of this one, and that one. Its easier to carry one" she refused, but the shock and pain that a doctor wanted 2 of her babies to die actually sent her into a miscarriage at 14 weeks and she lost all 3 . I know a broken heart can trigger a miscarriage or preterm labor, so my reasoning is to wait till 20 weeks ( which is now) knowing that doctors dont even suggest aborting them at that stage, so i can peacefully enjoy the rest of my pregnancy, and give birth to however many babies are in there, all alive and given a fighting chance
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    Thank you @ellie9933 . I really appreciate it
    Report Reply
  • schulme2schulme2 member
    I was pregnant with twins and at this stage of my pregnancy was going for ultrasounds every week to monitor growth and fluid levels. TTTS is a very real and very scary thing that can happen and should be monitored closely to help save the BABIES if it gets too bad. Had I not been having my ultrasounds every week, I would've never known that at 25 weeks I needed to instantly get to the hospital to deliver my babies that were already on their way. I would've lost them both had I not been told to get to the hospital at my ultrasound.
    Report Reply
  • kladd7182kladd7182 member
    I'm not carrying multiples, but I was looking at a possible abortion after 20 weeks with this baby. In my case, it would have been picking my life over the life of the baby, with heavy consideration of my other kids already here. I was lucky, and everything was where I needed it to be. I get how scary it can be to have a doctor say, "abortion", and how scary the ultrasound is where it will be talked about.

    That being said you have the choice. You can not be forced to do anything you don't want to do. You do need to know what's going on in there, you do need to be prepared for the life ahead of you. You can also look at the doctor flat out at the ultrasound and say, "abortion is not an option, don't even suggest it. If you can't take care of my prenatal needs, I'll look for someone else who can."

    I mean, hell, look at Kate Gosselin, Octomom, and others. They had a lot at one time successfully. I do however think you should have chosen to have the ultrasound sooner, so you know exactly what you're dealing with. What I don't understand is it seems like you are uncomfortable with your doctor, did you consider a switch at all earlier?
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    I have a new doctor now but have only been referred. Have not met him yet. I should say just what you said. I wont reduce, dont even suggest it :) it might reduce the temptation. I have wanted these babies literally since the time i could talk and walk. I have been against any form of abortion since i learned what the word meant, on both a religious level and knowing others whove had one who never get over the guilt. You can be sure kate gosselin et. Al were suggested to abort several to make it easier. It hurts me deep down inside to think that a doctor would even suggest taking away something ive been fighting for my whole life. I am supposed to have a scan at the beginning of april. I am nervous but cant wait to see those little faces :)
    Report Reply
  • kladd7182kladd7182 member
    Don't be nervous. Tell the doctor flat out, and enjoy the ultrasound. If it's a man and he still says it, nut tap him. At that point he deserves it
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    Hihi :) you are still carrying your baby @kladd7182 ? If so, i am thankful, and pray for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby for you
    Report Reply
  • butterfly061583butterfly061583 member
    Why should you need to hold off? You know your rights. Just put your foot down and decline selective reduction. They can't make you abort.
    Report Reply
  • kladd7182kladd7182 member
    Limebearer said:

    Hihi :) you are still carrying your baby @kladd7182 ? If so, i am thankful, and pray for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby for you

    I am. My problem was that I have already had 3 c-sections in 3 years, and my last one was 4 months prior to getting pregnant. I am so unhealed if the placenta was by the scar it would have grown through my uterine walls and attached itself to internal organs, if it didn't tear it open first causing uterine rupture.
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    Wow. Thats frightening. I wish you the best @kladd7182
    Report Reply
  • inLOVEalready715inLOVEalready715 member
    ellie9933 said:

    @inLOVEalready715 I don't think it's neglect to not get an ultrasound. If you have read or watched anything on Ina May and her birthing center they rarely use ultrasounds and they have delivered well over 2,000 babies...I do think for multiples its important to have one to make sure everything is ok since multiples can be high risk. I just don't agree that someone is selfish or negligent because they don't have an ultrasound.

    OP asked for opinions, that is my opinion.  You;re entitled to you opinion too...but I certainly didn't ask for it...tell OP how you feel.   I'm a nurse and I believe in medical technology and intervention.  I'm not saying it the only way, and I'm not saying it can't be combined with more homeopathic methods.  I do feel that we have technology to give our kids the best advantages right out of the gate.  I said I think people should have at least one scan, specifically around the 20 week mark for the anatomy scan.  if people don't want to then they don't have to, that is their right, and i have the right to feel however i want about it.  I am well informed on the subject so i don't care how many babies were delivered over the course of history that were fine with no scan, because I also know the other side.  I'm glad OP will get a scan to check the well being of her babies.  I don't agree it was necessary to hold it off this long because some states will still do an abortion up to 28 weeks, and you never have to have one at all.  I understand that its painful for OP to think about and maybe thats why it was put off, but I do not agree with the logic behind it. 
    Report Reply
  • crf4crf4 member
    I'm just surprised at how sure you are that a doctor is going suggest abortion of one or more of them. If they see how thrilled you are with having so many I doubt they'll say "ok but get real, a couple have to go!" If a doctor said that I'd be out of the office in a heartbeat. I think you have nothing to worry about except the health of your children, which is why you should make sure your doctors have a clear idea of what's going on inside you.
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    @crf4 , i think it because i know from others in canada and the states that it is their first plan of attack. They are trained right from med school to suggest it immediately
    Report Reply
  • aliciaspinnetaliciaspinnet member
    Limebearer said:

    @crf4 , i think it because i know from others in canada and the states that it is their first plan of attack. They are trained right from med school to suggest it immediately

    Playing devils advocate here, would it not be neglectful for a doctor to not give a woman her options. I'm not saying they should force abortion on anyone and it should certainly be done in a tactful manner, but if a selective abortion decreased the risk to the mother or improved the chances of survival of the remaining babies then it would be negligent of a doctor to not tell a woman that it was an option - then she can make an informed decision.
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    Yes i can see your point. For many moms it might be a good idea. But not for me. :( i know that emotional trauma can cause miscarriages and that is one of my main concerns
    Report Reply
  • SanineSanine member
    I was thinking, is there a catholic hospital near you? Catholic doctrine is pro life so the hospital won't recommend aborting any of the babies. To go to a catholic hospital there is no need to be catholic, they accept anybody, any religion.
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    I am catholic. Thats an amazing idea sanine!
    Report Reply
  • aliciaspinnetaliciaspinnet member
    If you already know that selective abortion may be suggested, would it really be such a shock to hear a doctor say it? If you really wanted to shut it down pre-emptively you could just say to your doctor beforehand "I understand that this may be a multiple pregnancy. I just want to make it clear that due to my religious/ethical beliefs abortion is not an option for me and I don't wish to discuss it"
    Report Reply
  • AngieD82AngieD82 member
    Wow, how rude of that dr to assume that you would want to abort at all! I'd be pissed too if I were told that. Yeah, you have every right to be mad and frankly, if it were me, I would have told the a-hole off and shut him/her up right then and there!!!

    It's your body, your life and those sweet little yummy gummy bears inside of you how ever many there are all yours too.

    How dare that dr even bring such a thing up!!!
    Report Reply
  • LimebearerLimebearer member
    Thank you SO much @AngieD82
    Report Reply
  • twindlejtwindlej member
    I understand your fear but just tell the doc before even beginning that no matter what is seen on the US selective reduction is not no nor will it ever be an option. I had IVF to get these beautiful boys that Im carrying and in the beginning the doc asked if there we multiples would we consider it. I emphatically said not an option and it was never brought up again. No fears momma, these lives inside u are yours to care for and no one can pressure u into eliminating any of them! Best of luck and I can't wait to see how many munchkins you've been blessed with!!!
    Report Reply
  • AngieD82AngieD82 member
    edited March 2015
    @Limebearer Anytime! Happy baby season to ya!! :)
    Report Reply
  • vandalaRosevandalaRose member
    I think they are your babies so it's your choice if you don't even wanna hear the abortion option then hold off its all up to you, I only have one little baby growing but my insurance wasn't active so I had to hold off until 23 weeks to get my first ultrasound and everything went smoothly baby was just fine waiting that long, then again I do only have one but I feel as long as you're confident with that decision and nothing feels wrong then go ahead and wait but if something feels wrong then obviously you're gonna have to go in and here the dreadful abortion suggestion, until then do whatever you feel is right.
    Report Reply
  • kcloyalkcloyal member
    You need to get the scan soon. I am carrying twins right now and there are so many things that they are watching because twin pregnancies are high risk. You are more likely to get pre eclampsia or gestational diabetes. Your babies could have twin to twin transfusion. I have to take more vitamins like folic acid for their growth. Never once has an abortion even been mentioned to me. I cannot figure out why they would even bring it up. But for your health and the health of your baby/babies you need to get it done soon.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"