Delivery Room — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Delivery Room

My mother wants to be in the delivery room along with my husband.  I have mixed emotions about that and don't know what to do.  Part of me wants her in there but another part only wants it to be me and my husband.  Did anyone else have their mother in the delivery room?
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Re: Delivery Room

  • My mom and DH was there for my first two pregnancies. Problem is, I never asked her to come. She just showed up. For my last pregnancy, she watched our kids while we went to the hospital. I preferred just having DH there and I'm happy it worked out that way. Do what makes you happy. She'll have all the time in the world to bond with her new grand baby after the birth. Do you think she'll be helpful or a distraction?
  • Personally I only ever want me and my husband. I want us time and to meet our children first and alone. This is something only you and your husband can decide together.

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  • I am not sure if she will be help or a distraction.  I have always thought that this would be time for me and my husband to share together..... alone.  I want my husband to have his time with the baby since I have had the last nine months. 
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  • ldmwldmw member
    It will just be DH and I in delivery room, and at hospital for at least first 3-4 hours after birth (maybe longer). I've been clear in communicating this to everyone. Most have understood, but some had hurt feelings. At the end of the day, it's our baby and not theirs. Whether they meet baby immediately or the next day or so, it makes no difference. Figure out what works for YOU and follow through with that.
  • My mom came in for awhile when I was in labor and resting to visit with my husband and just to check on me. As things got more intense she waited in the waiting area. I didn't want her there for the delivery. It's an extremely intimate time between my husband and I and was glad we kept it that way.
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  • My mum is coming in the room with my husband and I - but I feel like this may be more normal practice in the UK/ in my family, as that's what most people I know have done or have planned. My mum and my husband get along great. And having two of them there can keep me nice and distracted, fingers crossed!
  • My mom was there for my first delivery. My husband was holding my leg and sadly my father got stuck in the room because I delivered so fast. Very fast. He was a preemie. My dad stood in the corner with his back turned.

    This round it will be just my husband and I. My parents will be watching our 3 year old.
  • My mom was with me for my first two and the only reason she won't be here for this one is because I moved out-of-state. I feel very sad and wish she could be here, but I'll have to make due with just hubby this time around.
  • My mother was with my husband and I last night, and she was great. My labour was very quick, so she didn't have much to do then, but she helped out so much getting me to the birth centre and then afterwards whilst hubby had quality time with the baby. I'd definitely want her with us again!
  • I had a room full of people. My mom and my mother in law took turns holding a leg and my husband had the other. Grandmas, sister in laws, etc. It was great. Having a baby is a miricle and honestly when your in labor you forget who is there anyway. 
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  •  I had a room full of people. My mom and my mother in law took turns holding a leg and my husband had the other. Grandmas, sister in laws, etc. It was great. Having a baby is a miricle and honestly when your in labor you forget who is there anyway



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    Not always. Some people are very much aware of who else in there. Also some family are just exhausting and drama, they only cause more stress.  Also, I am not sure where you delivered and their policy, my every place that I worked has a person limit, usually two or three people.


  • Hell no! She can visit after. My husband made this happen, he can see it through ;)

    Besides, I don't want my mum seeing my lady bits - she hasn't since I was 5 and it's gonna stay that way!
  • My mom will be there with my approval. She actually wants to be there where my husband expresses no interest in seeing the actual birth...I think he has some major issues with seeing the process as gross and worrying about my body being wrecked for life. Immature,I know, so with this being my mom's first and likely only grandchild I am happy to share that with her
  • Just gonna be my husband and my doula in the delivery room.

    My MIL keeps dropping hints that she wants to be in the room, but we've been firm with NO and not for awhile after birth. And she's fighting us on even letting us have our alone time after the birth! Lol not happening. Family is drama, so for me, it'd be too stressful to have them in the room.

    If you feel comfortable and supported by family in the room, go for it. But it's also okay to not have them in there if you don't feel comfortable with it. Do what makes YOU comfortable.
  • My mom was there for the last hour of labour and delivery along with my DH.  I think if she was there the whole time it would have been too much. It was great to share that experience with her. She was on one leg and DH was on the other which worked out well because it will either be her or a nurse to help out.   We had lots of family visit a few hours later.  Next time I think Nana will be babysitting and we will keep the second delivery a little more quiet.
  • For our first little one my mom was in the room but she is not overbearing so she allowed him to be the one to comfort me and hold my hand etc but it was nice to know she was there if needed be but this time around, my hubby wants to experience the birth with a little more intimacy between us and our little one and it helped that mom was the one that suggested it to us, because we hadnt really thought about it in that light until my mom said something and we agreed. It really comes down to what you both want and if mom is able to allow hubby to run the show but if she is overbearing then its better for her to stay out of the delivery room 
  • Besides DH, we invited my mom AND mother-in-law to be present for the birth of our first child. It was really special and I definitely don't regret letting them be present but this time around, DH and I have agreed that we would like for it to just be us. My mom plans to watch our son for us if needed during labor. I know my mother-in-law will want to be there and as involved as we will let her but I am pretty set on letting her hang around during labor but stepping out when it's go time. 
    I think you can make sure everyone knows what you are wanting ahead of time but you can always change your mind. Although I plan for it to just be me and DH with the nurses and doc in the room, I know my mom and MIL helped a ton the first time around in keeping me cool and comfortable during my long labor so I won't completely rule out letting her be there if we could use some extra help. Just make sure you do what YOU want to do!!! :) 
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  • ChrisAsh1 said:

    My mother wants to be in the delivery room along with my husband.  I have mixed emotions about that and don't know what to do.  Part of me wants her in there but another part only wants it to be me and my husband.  Did anyone else have their mother in the delivery room?

    I didn't, but that was because she is in a different state. Had she been able to travel (she has health problems) then I would have loved to have her in the delivery room with me.

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  • I think it's a pretty personal choice- do what you want. It's a very intimate experience and you and your DH should decide together who to include (or not) in it.

    For me, it will just be DH and I.
    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15

  • Honestly, I thought I would only want DH but my mom really helped me. She did leave once I started to push, but she was a wonderful help during labor.
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  • With my first I asked my mom, and cousin along with my husband. That seemed to open the door to just about anyone to be in there! I'm very close with my dad and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be in there or not but when the time came he sat in there quietly in the corner and was moral support. I swear my dad was the only one I didn't want to throw things at!!! It was SOOOO stressful and both my husband and I have VERY loud women in our family. And while I was internally struggling with the idea of pushing soon, they were all laughing and joking. A room full of in laws, family, friends...  things turned serious w/ my delivery and the dr suggested everyone out. I was sooo relieved!!!  My husband and I have decided that this time it will just be us. Family are welcome in the waiting room and we'll be brought in once we're ready after her birth, but I want a different experience and to have that time with my husband and child and hopefully a more peaceful experience.

    Bottom line -- only you can decide what's best for you. Some people want everyone in there. I personally never forget who all was in my room and was wishing I had made a different decision the entire time.

    Baby Girl, Teagan Rae, due June 2nd!
  • My mom was curious about seeing me give birth (since she obviously couldn't see what was happening when she had me and my brother) and I was fine with her being there.  Since I labored overnight, the nurse kicked everyone out of my room except my husband after I got an epidural.  When it was time to push, my husband went and got my mom from the waiting room and they were there while I delivered.  After she was born and cleaned up, the nurse kicked my mom out again to give me and DH our golden hour alone with our new baby.  She and my dad were allowed to come in after that time and see their first grandchild for a little bit before they had to leave (as it was like 6 AM and visiting hours don't start til 11AM) so I could be moved to my room.  This time, it will be DH, and if my mom can make it (depending on who's watching our daughter), she will be invited in again if she wants :)
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  • I'd like my mum to be there at the beginning, but not as it gets more intense. Although saying that she is a retired midwife so might end up being more helpful than my absolutely wonderful weak stomached OH.
  • My mom was with me and my husband throughout the worst part of labor and all of delivery. It was wonderful and I'll definitely miss her this time, but she'll be watching our son.
  • We've made it known that my mom can be in the room while I'm i labor, but once it's time to push, the only person in the room will be my husband. After that we want at least 2 hours (including delivering the placenta and baby getting cleaned up and measured etc...of just me, husband, and baby before visitors can come see the baby. 

  • It will be just DH and I there. My mom and I aren't very close, so to me it'd take away from the experience having her there. We plan on heading to the hospital when I go into labour and only texting/calling family after he's born so they can come and visit. With my mom and in laws, we'll tell them almost right after so we can have about an hour or two to ourselves. My mom will be under strict instruction to either not tell the family until later or tell them they're absolutely not welcome for at least 3-4 hours. Honestly, I'd prefer it being more like the next day. I'm not close to anyone in the family so I think it'd be selfish of them to try to be there when it's not their baby, it's ours.

    Married 4/13/13

    Loss at 6 weeks 5/4/2013

    Loss at 9 weeks 12/2013

    Healthy baby boy 7/12/15

    Due 1/6/18

  • I wish my mother could of been there with me and my husband but she passed away almost 5 years ago, so yeah  :|

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  • Does your husband have a preference?  If you're both on the fence, I would see what she thinks about being support during labor and then kicking her out during delivery.  

    We're not planning to have anyone at the hospital period (we have eight parents, who can be very overwhelming and would just be fighting over the baby), but my mom is essentially on-call in case DH feels like he needs a break during labor, or if it drags out a bit. 
  • amhowell14amhowell14 member
    edited April 2015

    I wish my mother could of been there with me and my husband but she passed away almost 5 years ago, so yeah  :|

    I am right there with you. My mom passed away 16 years ago, and I would've given anything to have her in the delivery room with each of my babies. ((((Hugs))))
  • If you have a good relationship with your mom be honest tell her how your feeling. You can ask her to be there with the agreement she will leave no hurt feelings if you ask. Personally I had my mom there. I totally fell for the "it should be intimate with your DH" but when I was at the hard part I remember thinking that man has no idea get out of here women have been doing this together forever and I relied so much on her. I still had those intimate moments with him after she was born but I so value my moms love strength and experience through all the hard stuff.
  • You will likely be there for a long time before the time for pushing/delivery arrives. Have you thought about having her there for support during the labor but then when it is time to push having just your husband there?

    When I was in labor, I didn't want anyone near me. My husband brought me crushed ice and fanned me. I just wanted the room dark and quiet so I could focus on breathing through the contractions. Just be open to the idea that you might change your mind once you are in pain. 
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