Registeries frustration/ baby shower - Page 2 — The Bump
April 2015 Moms

Registeries frustration/ baby shower

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Re: Registeries frustration/ baby shower

  • I get you I am having my baby shower today and I really wanted what i register for this my the 3rd baby 1st girl. Hope they at least saw it and got an idea what I need
    mrscasey306
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  • I was lucky at my first shower almost everyone one stuck to the registries and some people went on together to buy some of the bigger items. But I got a couple ridiculous/ugly things too, I just smiled and said thank you because I did appreciate the thought and the fact that they took the time to buy anything at all.

    My mom is insisting that I have a shower this time as well and once again she is going in with her sisters to buy me the one big ticket item I need, a double stroller, my first is only 15 months old. Beyond that I don't expect anyone to stick to the registry, not that it matters too much this time around since I still have most of the stuff I need. I'll just be grateful that people want to take the time to come to this shower and celebrate my upcoming little one. I honestly don't care if I don't get any gifts at all.

    A lot of people don't have anyone to throw them a shower like pps have said, you should just be grateful for what you got.
  • mamaparker19mamaparker19 member
    edited March 2015
    my shower was last weekend and not everybody stuck to the registry. It was very frustrating to open clothes clothes and more clothes but at the same time some of my favorite gifts I got weren't on my registry! A guest cross stitched a Noah's Ark blanket for dd, another got me a book all about cloth diapering, and another invited me over her house the next day and gave me space bags upon space bags full of clothes that her dd outgrew from nb to 18mos so our dd pretty much won't need any clothes until then! I understand your frustration, but look at the bright side of things! All of the outfits you got are more money that you can put towards diapers and wipes and lotion and soap and all of the necessities! Plus if you registered at target, they'll send you a bunch of coupons for use after your shower that give a discount, yes it's not free, but 15% off adds up!
    mrscasey306
  • Frownyface, you sound like a normal human being. I had the exact same thing happen to me. So what if it sounds ungrateful- you're hormonal and worried about paying for your essentials!! Babies R Us does this amazing thing where they will basically take back anything that they sell- no questions asked- and give you a store gift card. We wound up with a huge credit, and we're able to supplement what we needed.

    People honestly mean well, but I think that, unless people are old ladies and not used to registries, it's PRETTY much common knowledge that if a registry exists, you should use it. Hands down!
    mrscasey306justme2015Marisang15
  • I don't think I could ever be upset that someone took time to purchase something for me and my child. Whether I use it or not, they opted to give to my baby.

    I'm glad people took time out of their day to spend a day with me at my showers. I didn't register for a handmade quilt or the perfect decoration for the room but they are perfect and something I never would have had otherwise.

    We started stocking up on other things a month ago. We knew it would be expensive. We saved gift cards or cash we received from other occasions.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    ewilson74
  • vetdr03 said:

    I could care less what you think of me to be honest! I didn't ask for or want a shower. People kept asking so a friend said she wanted to do it. My husband and I said we didn't want her to be put out, so we just decided to combine it with a house warming so no one felt obligated either way as we are not wanting house warming gifts either. As a dual doctor, I can fully afford EVERYTHING my child needs, so begging isn't in my repertoire. And yes it is my third child. My last one, he is six and this time it's a girl. Not that that matters because if it were my twelth son and I wanted to have a shower there is no one who should think they are God and can tell me I can't. Didn't ask you to host, attend, or BEG YOU FOR A GIFT!

    My village statement comes from the fact she is a ftm and may not realize all the necessities a child needs and could feel overwhelmed with the cost. So if friends really mean well they would think of HER. But most don't. They want the cutest gift at the party...which is fine. Til she realizes oh my God I still need everything.

    Again, put your self righteous, we know all things etiquette, attitudes back I'm your pocket cause I don't care. Every single mother gets necessities from me because life gets hard and a cute book ain't gonna help when you're low on funds due to life and your child has no pampers. You do know what life is right? Well that is what she is thinking of. And she has the right to feel frustrated because it is scary trying to provide for a baby.

    I little slice of crazy
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    jdles16pistachio&blush
  • MrsPP4930MrsPP4930 member
    edited March 2015
    I always buy off people's registry. There IS a reason why couples make a registry people! At least I know my money will be put to good use and appreciated by the expecting parents as opposed to tossed into a bin of more crap not needed and sold with tags on on through FB lol. When guests don't buy off registries it screams how selfish they are. Yup that's right, you are being selfish by NOT buying off registry. The point of a shower is to help out the couple. Not just to give guests a reason to go out and feed their shopping addiction, nor because people particularly enjoy cheezy games and finger foods. Comments on here make me smh and realize that common sense is not so common.
    mrscasey306Dvine21RyeMich
  • MrsPP4930 said:

    I always buy off people's registry. There IS a reason why couples make a registry people! At least I know my money will be put to good use and appreciated by the expecting parents as opposed to tossed into a bin of more crap not needed and sold with tags on on through FB lol. When guests don't buy off registries it screams how selfish they are. Yup that's right, you are being selfish by NOT buying off registry. The point of a shower is to help out the couple. Not just to give guests a reason to go out and feed their shopping addiction, nor because people particularly enjoy cheezy games and finger foods. Comments on here make me smh and realize that common sense is not so common.

    You sound like a beautiful person.
    ihatetomatoesfish94sam800
  • I believe this is getting off topic. Grateful or not someone is just looking for support and advice, not judgement. If you don't like the post and can not provide constructive advice do not post. Get out of your feelings.
    mrscasey306lola2beeDvine21
  • vetdr03 said:

    I could care less what you think of me to be honest! I didn't ask for or want a shower. People kept asking so a friend said she wanted to do it. My husband and I said we didn't want her to be put out, so we just decided to combine it with a house warming so no one felt obligated either way as we are not wanting house warming gifts either. As a dual doctor, I can fully afford EVERYTHING my child needs, so begging isn't in my repertoire. And yes it is my third child. My last one, he is six and this time it's a girl. Not that that matters because if it were my twelth son and I wanted to have a shower there is no one who should think they are God and can tell me I can't. Didn't ask you to host, attend, or BEG YOU FOR A GIFT!

    My village statement comes from the fact she is a ftm and may not realize all the necessities a child needs and could feel overwhelmed with the cost. So if friends really mean well they would think of HER. But most don't. They want the cutest gift at the party...which is fine. Til she realizes oh my God I still need everything.

    Again, put your self righteous, we know all things etiquette, attitudes back I'm your pocket cause I don't care. Every single mother gets necessities from me because life gets hard and a cute book ain't gonna help when you're low on funds due to life and your child has no pampers. You do know what life is right? Well that is what she is thinking of. And she has the right to feel frustrated because it is scary trying to provide for a baby.

    I think you mean that you *couldn't* care less. image
    ewilson74ihatetomatoessam800BlueWaffleSpeshul
  • RyeMich said:

    Frownyface, you sound like a normal human being. I had the exact same thing happen to me. So what if it sounds ungrateful- you're hormonal and worried about paying for your essentials!! Babies R Us does this amazing thing where they will basically take back anything that they sell- no questions asked- and give you a store gift card. We wound up with a huge credit, and we're able to supplement what we needed.

    People honestly mean well, but I think that, unless people are old ladies and not used to registries, it's PRETTY much common knowledge that if a registry exists, you should use it. Hands down!

    What?
  • I also didn't buy a lot of other things because I got told by everyone to wait until the shower . But this is our first child we're starting out from that end . It's just frustrating because now we're having to hurry and get everything we were told not to buy with only a month until my due date .. , I'm glad some of you are already established and are financially sound .. Not everyone is . I'm not sure how I'm sounding ungrateful or it's my fault I will never register again so I don't " expect " people to buy everything for my child like apparently I do ..
    Marisang15
  • It's not that I'm out raged or offended that someone bought me things not of the registeries.. This whole conversation started because alls I was basically asking was why do people ask over and over and over about your registry and not go look at it . And everyone else has jumped on me for no reason I am grateful I do appreciate for what I got . I loved some of the things that people made and we're not on the registery . What I am annoyed about is getting attacked , which is where some of the outrage or offended , annoyance whatever sounding is coming from .
    yellowdaisies84
  • MrsPP4930MrsPP4930 member
    edited March 2015
    @sschwege Thank you but perhaps you have something constructive to say? ;)
  • OP, I think your post was fair. You said you just wanted to vent that you would have preferred more people used your registry but that you're still grateful. I totally get that.

    There are other posts in this thread that I can't get behind- being angry or offended that someone bought you something you didn't register for seems like the wrong attitude. I didn't mean to make you feel like I was referring to your post.
    "It's always better when we're together." -Jack Johnson
    mrscasey306lola2beesam800
  • MrsPP4930 said:

    @sschwege Thank you but perhaps you have something constructive to say? ;)

    If by constructive you mean calling loved ones who so generously give gifts to me and my child selfish, then I guess I will leave that to you.
    be888
  • Sorry @yellowdaisies84, just annoys me that I'm getting attacked for asking a question for venting .
  • Many ungrateful women on this post complaining over people not buying off a damn registry. Registries are simply ideas of what you  want. Does it matter if you get tons of clothes? Your baby will have a nice closet full of clothes. I use my registry simply as a shopping list of what I need to get. I only send my registry out to distant family and friends and I appericate the gifts they give just because its the thought. 

    I had my shower yesterday. My family members who have tons of medical issues and bills to pay cause of those bought tons of diapers and clothes for my son. I was happy having a very small baby shower. It's not about the gifts but the thought of the people coming in to welcome your baby into this world. One of my favorite gifts that I teared up from was the blanket my grandma gave me. It was my baby blanket that I haven't seen in forever. My grandma also sewed some burp clothes and changing clothes for him. 

    Some of you women seem mad cause no one bought those big ticket items (cribs, changing tables, gliders, strollers). It's not your family or friend's responsibility to provide everything for your child. I'm grateful for the giftcard I received to help me pay for the pack and play I plan to get soon. If some of you ladies are really struggling on providing for your child, there are pregnancy centers out there that give you baby bucks for attending parenting classes and other classes to get those big ticket items. Look up some local charties that can help you out. Intill then the ladies that complained about the gifts, I wish your family and friends saw your nasty ungrateful posts. 
    BabyGagaPitaPata Cat tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers
    mrsmeyer419juliaandpatrick
  • Sorry @yellowdaisies84, just annoys me that I'm getting attacked for asking a question for venting .

    Most of what was said was constructive criticism. What do you expect people to say when you put your thoughts out for the public to read? Everyone is going to have an opinion.

    FTM & TEAM BLUE!!!

    BabyFruit Ticker

     

    pignapoke
  • I registered just to get the discount. I had my shower this weekends and half didn't bring a gift or brought DH beer since it was a his and hers shower. I don't care if they didn't buy us anything, it was nice to see everyone.

    Pregnancy Ticker
    xanthe0607
  • lentilmamalentilmama member
    edited March 2015
    Wow people are intense on here. I never write on these boards but felt compelled to because of all the negativity- For what it's worth, I don't think you sound ungrateful at all. I would feel the EXACT same way. In my opinion, showers are meant for your friends & family to celebrate with you and also to generously help you share the burden of supplying what you need. Pretty clothes aren't a necessity. But burp cloths, bottles, & diapers are. I'm sorry that it didn't work out that way for you. Hopefully you can return a couple of things. Not like this is helpful now, but we don't know the gender of our baby so I think we got off lucky shower wise- since people didn't know, they didn't give us hardly any clothes! Definitely a huge plus of keeping it a surprise till the end...
    mrscasey306mamabernsteinbear15Marisang15
  • Wow people are intense on here. I never write on these boards but felt compelled to because of all the negativity- For what it's worth, I don't think you sound ungrateful at all. I would feel the EXACT same way. In my opinion, showers are meant for your friends & family to celebrate with you and also to generously help you share the burden of supplying what you need. Pretty clothes aren't a necessity. But burp cloths, bottles, & diapers are. I'm sorry that it didn't work out that way for you. Hopefully you can return a couple of things. Not like this is helpful now, but we don't know the gender of our baby so I think we got off lucky shower wise- since people didn't know, they didn't give us hardly any clothes! Definitely a huge plus of keeping it a surprise till the end...

    Showers are meant to present the mother with gifts for the baby. As I said before, this used to be actual sentimental gifts. It has somehow turned into things the baby needs. Showers used to be gifts of homemade items such as knitted blankets & clothes. They were not intended to supply the parents with what they need for the baby. If you cant afford new items go to a 2nd hand store. 90% of our baby items are hand me downs or thrift store items.
    pignapokesschwege
  • This is definitely one advantage to being team green.  I am sure I didn't get more than 3 outfits at my shower for DD since we didn't know.  Still not a lot of things were purchased on my registry, but the things I got from new moms were extremely handy, and the other things that were close enough to work, we just went with.  We absolutely took some things back to the store and got things we really needed off of the registry though.  I have more hand made blankets than I could ever use though.  I definitely won't ever make one for someone having a new baby. 

    Factor V Leiden Homozygous, Advanced Maternal Age

     

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  • vetdr03 said:

    I could care less what you think of me to be honest! I didn't ask for or want a shower. People kept asking so a friend said she wanted to do it. My husband and I said we didn't want her to be put out, so we just decided to combine it with a house warming so no one felt obligated either way as we are not wanting house warming gifts either. As a dual doctor, I can fully afford EVERYTHING my child needs, so begging isn't in my repertoire. And yes it is my third child. My last one, he is six and this time it's a girl. Not that that matters because if it were my twelth son and I wanted to have a shower there is no one who should think they are God and can tell me I can't. Didn't ask you to host, attend, or BEG YOU FOR A GIFT!

    My village statement comes from the fact she is a ftm and may not realize all the necessities a child needs and could feel overwhelmed with the cost. So if friends really mean well they would think of HER. But most don't. They want the cutest gift at the party...which is fine. Til she realizes oh my God I still need everything.

    Again, put your self righteous, we know all things etiquette, attitudes back I'm your pocket cause I don't care. Every single mother gets necessities from me because life gets hard and a cute book ain't gonna help when you're low on funds due to life and your child has no pampers. You do know what life is right? Well that is what she is thinking of. And she has the right to feel frustrated because it is scary trying to provide for a baby.

    You sure are long-winded for someone who claims not to care.
    pignapokekeifekmsschwegeewilson74
  • I'm with you on this. Yes I'm grateful people are even buying me anything. My shower is this Saturday & I'm expecting a lot of just clothes because "its cute" & "people want to watch you open cute things" but let's be real clothes are cute but its a rapidly growing baby. That cute onsies may not even get worn before hes already to big for it & that's a waste. I put cost friendly things on my registry also. Of things I still need I feel people can at least take the time to look at it & see the stuff I like, want or need. I took the time to make it. I feel like I'll be taking a lot back to purchase what I need. May sound bitchy but I'm just being real.
    mrscasey306
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