What your kid's teacher thinks...

[Deleted User] · February 2015

Hello All

I'm not sure if a similar thread has been posted (haven't seen one, but I'm very new), so sorry if this is redundant. I am a public high school teacher and see about 175 kids each semester so 350 students per school year. I run into a lot of hilarious names on the job and thought I would share my experiences thus far. I have only been a teacher for 3 years (plus one year as a student teacher, and two years before that as an elementary school teachers assistant), so I'm sure more experienced teachers will have even more examples than me. Sometimes I think parents name their kids JUST to eff with the world. Please be aware, parents, that while we love your kid a ton despite the special snowflake name you've given them, we totally laugh at you while we are looking at our roster for the coming semester. You are not interesting, mysterious, or unique. You are FUNNY. Here are just a few names from JUST THIS YEAR which have totally made me side-eye the parents, and feel spectacularly bad for the poor, powerless student.

-Two brothers named Pal and Buddy

-Asia (pronounced Ah-See-Ah. I said her name like the region of the world for an entire semester before the last day of the semester when she quietly corrected me with what looked like enormous amounts of frustration, embarrassment, and exhaustion. Poor girl)

-Destin (her last name began with an E, so since teachers often refer to students as "First Name, Last initial" She was always Destin E.

-Elekcia

I could go on.

I have a lot of students with rare/interesting/beautiful names which are REAL names and are spelled correctly. There are gorgeous names out there, no need to make ones up! Most of these students were quiet, smart, sweet, and pretty much always humiliated or annoyed with their names. Don't do this to your kids!

Oh, also I have had 2000 girls with variations on the name Madison or Madeline (most spelled with incorrect spelling). Sometimes you can't help/can't predict name trends, but trust me that your kid wont love being called "Madi 1, 2, 3, or 4" in class.

I have noticed in particular that special snowflake names are disproportionately inflicted upon girls. Parents, please don't do this. As a woman your daughter will already have to face certain biases about her intelligence and ability as a professional. Why add to that by giving her a ridiculous name?

As a teacher I promise to treat your kid like gold, regardless of the stupid name you've given them, but just be aware that we do side-eye you at parent/teacher conferences.

(edited for being a stupid, tired idiot when I wrote this!)

LuvLoveXo · February 2015

Love this post!! I posted something similar.

4RingCircus · February 2015

Well said. Another teacher here that couldn't agree more.

magsugar13 · February 2015

You mean spelling does matter?

haha

mrs1374a · February 2015

I also worked in child care before I was a sahm. I came in contact with twins boys named Barrak and Obama. I couldn't make that up if il tried. Awful.

asherk · February 2015

Fellow teacher here, and I couldn't agree more! Love this.

actinup23 · February 2015

So true! I'm a teacher too, and some names I have come across are ridiculous! I have had:

Dasani (like the water)

Jesscia- not a typo, pronounced jess-see-ya

Rikacious

Jadarrya- pronounced ju-derr-ee-ay

Miangel

And the very best: legal name Baby girl.

And that's just this year.

Mommaswizz · February 2015

I love this post! Bravo!!

knowmeinadifferentlight · February 2015

actinup23 said:
So true! I'm a teacher too, and some names I have come across are ridiculous! I have had:

Dasani (like the water)
Jesscia- not a typo, pronounced jess-see-ya
Rikacious
Jadarrya- pronounced ju-derr-ee-ay
Miangel
And the very best: legal name Baby girl.

And that's just this year.

And I thought nausea from morning sickness was bad. This makes me nauseous in brand new ways...

[Deleted User] · February 2015

actinup23 said:

So true! I'm a teacher too, and some names I have come across are ridiculous! I have had:

Dasani (like the water)
Jesscia- not a typo, pronounced jess-see-ya
Rikacious
Jadarrya- pronounced ju-derr-ee-ay
Miangel
And the very best: legal name Baby girl.

And that's just this year.

Lol that's hilarious. No matter if you are in an under-served region or the upper-class, white suburbs (me) some parents just insist on giving their children embarrassing names.

frankengibbs · February 2015

A family member of my DH just named their baby Ryker...it just makes me think of Richter's Prison...
Though I'm not a teacher, one of the worst I heard was of a classmate of mine in high schoool, her name was Devine Pleasant...she was neither divine nor was she pleasant, she was a bitch.

hopanka · February 2015

Asia - like the country, teach?

be888 · February 2015

hopanka said:
Asia - like the country, teach?

Haha I was just about to say this. I hope you don't teach geography OP, otherwise students have a bigger issue than their names.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

hopanka said:

Asia - like the country, teach?

AHHHH STUCK IN THE BOX

HAHAHA I was definitely NOT thinking when I wrote that - how embarrassing! No one tell my Chinese husband... he would NEVER let me live that down.

Thankfully I do not teach geography

[Deleted User] · February 2015

frankengibbs said:

A family member of my DH just named their baby Ryker...it just makes me think of Richter's Prison... Though I'm not a teacher, one of the worst I heard was of a classmate of mine in high schoool, her name was Devine Pleasant...she was neither divine nor was she pleasant, she was a bitch.

I'd probably be a bitch too if I had really stupid parents, lol.

finchfeeder80 · February 2015

frankengibbs said:

A family member of my DH just named their baby Ryker...it just makes me think of Richter's Prison... Though I'm not a teacher, one of the worst I heard was of a classmate of mine in high schoool, her name was Devine Pleasant...she was neither divine nor was she pleasant, she was a bitch.

Maybe they are Star Trek fans. Because that's totally where I go when I hear the name Ryker. Not that it really makes it any better for the kid, just a much more pleasant (albeit nerdier) association.

frankengibbs · February 2015

finchfeeder80 said:

frankengibbs said:

A family member of my DH just named their baby Ryker...it just makes me think of Richter's Prison...
Though I'm not a teacher, one of the worst I heard was of a classmate of mine in high schoool, her name was Devine Pleasant...she was neither divine nor was she pleasant, she was a bitch.

Maybe they are Star Trek fans. Because that's totally where I go when I hear the name Ryker. Not that it really makes it any better for the kid, just a much more pleasant (albeit nerdier) association.

<\quote box fail/>
See, I didn't think of that, I'm more of a Star Wars fan myself...I'm not sure if that's why but I will definitely have to ask them next time we see them!

frankengibbs · February 2015

antoto said:

frankengibbs said:

A family member of my DH just named their baby Ryker...it just makes me think of Richter's Prison...
Though I'm not a teacher, one of the worst I heard was of a classmate of mine in high schoool, her name was Devine Pleasant...she was neither divine nor was she pleasant, she was a bitch.

I'd probably be a bitch too if I had really stupid parents, lol.

.
True! It's like people who name their kids things like Paradise...sounds like a hooker...

megewy · February 2015

I grew up with a boy named Dusty ( not Dustin) and his last name was boots. - Dusty Boots
My dad worked with a guy who was Rusty Nail.
Like seriously what goes through people's minds when naming a baby These.

valeriemarie24 · February 2015

In school I had a boy named Ocean and a girl named Precious in my classes. Don't remember the last names but I thought as a kid that it was really weird. Kids are impressionable and even though I'm not a teacher I wouldn't want to open my kids up to the things that come with some of these names.

Maladroit · February 2015

I work on an inpatient pediatrics unit...I can't even remember all the stupid names I have heard. Also, I'll treat your kid with a little more empathy and possibly better stickers and toys since I feel bad for them. I don't get why you'd want to do something like that to your kiddo.

magsugar13 · February 2015

I have so many from over the years...

here are some stand outs..

Whisper and canyon (brother and sister)

JaJa -boy

Shon-(shaun)-boy

I also had an Asia

My favorite of all time was IUNIQUE

missteacherlady16 · February 2015

There were two students at our school with the last name spikes...first names: Unique (female) and Infinite (male)

Kate0034 · February 2015

megewy said:
I grew up with a boy named Dusty ( not Dustin) and his last name was boots. - Dusty Boots
My dad worked with a guy who was Rusty Nail.
Like seriously what goes through people's minds when naming a baby These.

This cracked me up.

I knew a family with the last name Hood, and they named their son.. yep.. Robin. (Seriously!?!)

megewy · February 2015

Kate0034 said:

megewy said:
I grew up with a boy named Dusty ( not Dustin) and his last name was boots. - Dusty Boots
My dad worked with a guy who was Rusty Nail.
Like seriously what goes through people's minds when naming a baby These.
This cracked me up.

I knew a family with the last name Hood, and they named their son.. yep.. Robin. (Seriously!?!)

wow! seriously people! haha

saham07 · February 2015

I worked at a daycare center and there was a little girl named Abeer. A-beer

stahlop · February 2015

Junior high teacher here. I've seen some crazy names. I've had a Legend, D'Artagnan and a Tzeitl. They all had siblings with normal names, which makes it worse.

valeriemarie24 · February 2015

stahlop said:
Junior high teacher here. I've seen some crazy names. I've had a Legend, D'Artagnan and a Tzeitl. They all had siblings with normal names, which makes it worse.

How do you even say the last one? Is it like zee-tul?

knowmeinadifferentlight · February 2015

valeriemarie24 said:

stahlop said:
Junior high teacher here. I've seen some crazy names. I've had a Legend, D'Artagnan and a Tzeitl. They all had siblings with normal names, which makes it worse.
How do you even say the last one? Is it like zee-tul?

Should be zie-tull. I only know this one because that is the name for one of the characters from Fiddler on the Roof.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

knowmeinadifferentlight said:

valeriemarie24 said:

stahlop said:
Junior high teacher here. I've seen some crazy names. I've had a Legend, D'Artagnan and a Tzeitl. They all had siblings with normal names, which makes it worse.
How do you even say the last one? Is it like zee-tul?
Should be zie-tull. I only know this one because that is the name for one of the characters from Fiddler on the Roof.

Yeah names like that don't bug me cause they are real names. I have a Xitlalic which is super intimidating to say and I think she repeated it to me 3 times before I got it, but hey it's an actual name which is meaningful to her family and culture. It's the made up names that drive me up the wall.

valeriemarie24 · February 2015

Yeah names like that don't bug me cause they are real names. I have a Xitlalic which is super intimidating to say and I think she repeated it to me 3 times before I got it, but hey it's an actual name which is meaningful to her family and culture. It's the made up names that drive me up the wall.

Just curious as to what culture/country a name like that would come from. Do you know what her background was? Not in a mean way at all just curious to know

valeriemarie24 · February 2015

Sorry the top paragraph was supposed to be a quote of the one before

[Deleted User] · February 2015

valeriemarie24 said:
Yeah names like that don't bug me cause they are real names. I have a Xitlalic which is super intimidating to say and I think she repeated it to me 3 times before I got it, but hey it's an actual name which is meaningful to her family and culture. It's the made up names that drive me up the wall.

Just curious as to what culture/country a name like that would come from. Do you know what her background was? Not in a mean way at all just curious to know

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry, box problems. She's latina.

jaeleigh25 · March 2015

I think the worst ones I have come across as a teacher are Jerzee and Mykelalen (pronounced like Michael Allen).

valeriemarie24 · March 2015

There should be a message that comes up when people go to enter some names for birth certificates that just says 'NO'

stahlop · March 2015

antoto said:

knowmeinadifferentlight said:

valeriemarie24 said:

stahlop said:
Junior high teacher here. I've seen some crazy names. I've had a Legend, D'Artagnan and a Tzeitl. They all had siblings with normal names, which makes it worse.
How do you even say the last one? Is it like zee-tul?
Should be zie-tull. I only know this one because that is the name for one of the characters from Fiddler on the Roof.
Yeah names like that don't bug me cause they are real names. I have a Xitlalic which is super intimidating to say and I think she repeated it to me 3 times before I got it, but hey it's an actual name which is meaningful to her family and culture. It's the made up names that drive me up the wall.

Yes, she was named for Fiddler on the Roof. She was of neither Russian or Jewish decent like the name. D'Artagnan is technically a French last name from The Three Musketeers.

sherbear82 · March 2015

I teach a girl named Ocean and she is a space cadet. My father-in-law is an orthodontist and has a patient named Ocean. I asked what she's like, and he said, "Crazy". I can't help but wonder if people expect these girls to be weird, therefore they are weird.

Here are a few more jems:
Aja (pronounced Asia)
L-A (Ladasha)
Berlin (grandparents were upset considering they were both born and raised in Poland)
Anakin (can't say that name without thinking "Skywalker")

wassuphoes · March 2015

sherbear82 said:
I teach a girl named Ocean and she is a space cadet. My father-in-law is an orthodontist and has a patient named Ocean. I asked what she's like, and he said, "Crazy". I can't help but wonder if people expect these girls to be weird, therefore they are weird.

Here are a few more jems:
Aja (pronounced Asia)
L-A (Ladasha)
Berlin (grandparents were upset considering they were both born and raised in Poland)
Anakin (can't say that name without thinking "Skywalker")

If you haven't actually seen that name with your own two eyes (and I bet you haven't), just stop. There is no record of La-a, L-a, or any of those variations other then racist and classist e-mail chains.

CharmBombExplosion · March 2015

wassuphoes said:

sherbear82 said:
I teach a girl named Ocean and she is a space cadet. My father-in-law is an orthodontist and has a patient named Ocean. I asked what she's like, and he said, "Crazy". I can't help but wonder if people expect these girls to be weird, therefore they are weird.

Here are a few more jems:
Aja (pronounced Asia)
L-A (Ladasha)
Berlin (grandparents were upset considering they were both born and raised in Poland)
Anakin (can't say that name without thinking "Skywalker")
If you haven't actually seen that name with your own two eyes (and I bet you haven't), just stop. There is no record of La-a, L-a, or any of those variations other then racist and classist e-mail chains.

This. Whenever there is one of these threads someone always claims to know a La-a. You don't.

BeachBum678 · March 2015

sherbear82 said:
I teach a girl named Ocean and she is a space cadet. My father-in-law is an orthodontist and has a patient named Ocean. I asked what she's like, and he said, "Crazy". I can't help but wonder if people expect these girls to be weird, therefore they are weird.

Here are a few more jems:
Aja (pronounced Asia)
L-A (Ladasha)
Berlin (grandparents were upset considering they were both born and raised in Poland)
Anakin (can't say that name without thinking "Skywalker")

Aja is a legit name. My SIL is named Aja. It's Hindi and means "goat". It's also the name of a Steely Dan album from the mid '80s.

La-a is an old racist joke from a chain email. I call BS on that one.

Edit: quoted wrong person

Kate0034 · March 2015

wassuphoes said:

sherbear82 said:
I teach a girl named Ocean and she is a space cadet. My father-in-law is an orthodontist and has a patient named Ocean. I asked what she's like, and he said, "Crazy". I can't help but wonder if people expect these girls to be weird, therefore they are weird.

Here are a few more jems:
Aja (pronounced Asia)
L-A (Ladasha)
Berlin (grandparents were upset considering they were both born and raised in Poland)
Anakin (can't say that name without thinking "Skywalker")
If you haven't actually seen that name with your own two eyes (and I bet you haven't), just stop. There is no record of La-a, L-a, or any of those variations other then racist and classist e-mail chains.

I've seen it written. But looking back, I think maybe it was a joke.

The thing is, LaDasha is actually used as a name. When I saw this name written as La-a I didn't question it because I've seen weirder. Then one day I posted about it on here and everyone freaked out and called me racist. I had NO idea this was a racist urban legend so I was pretty taken aback.

People claimed that there are no records for anyone being named La-a, so I looked it up and found none myself. Which makes me think the girl I saw spell her name that way did it as a joke or something.

My point is, it's not fair to assume people are being racist because they think this is a name (not that you said @sherbear82 is being racist but I think others did imply it). I made the mistake of thinking this name was real myself. But like I said, I've seen weirder. After you teach in low-income communities for awhile, nothing is shocking (and that goes for kids of ANY race).

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